Chapter 2

I never realized before taking that shower, how emotionally complex we humans can be. As I stood under the hot water I think I experienced every feeling known to man; there was love, hate, anger, and pain; there were thoughts of more revenge, but also of leniency; there were sentiments of inadequacy for not being man enough to keep my woman; I felt like a fool for not detecting her deceit before now, but triumphant in my ultimate discovery. My reactions bounced around inside me, often colliding, and sometimes becoming interwoven within themselves.

If I could separate them I'd say the pain was the worst. I loved Jackie with all my being; except for the pain of losing someone close to you, the betrayal of someone you love so intensely has to hurt the most; it's a pain that buries itself deep within your soul and strangles your heart.

I thought back through our history together. Where did I go wrong, what did I do to lose her respect; when did I lose it?

I could feel my whole persona changing, I was no longer the nice, fun loving guy everyone knew; a darker side of me was emerging, a side I didn't even know was there, a side I didn't think I was going to like very much.

Never in my life had I ever done anything like I did to Vic in that motel room, but what was even more disturbing than the act itself was my lack of any remorse. It was like good and evil was fighting for my humanity. I still loved Jackie; when you spend that much time, share so many dreams, experience so much of life, and even bring new life into the world with one person you don't just turn the love off like a light switch; but, at the same time I could feel an acute resentment building, doing its best to push that love aside, but to what end? What will fill the void ... loneliness?

After stepping out of the shower, for some reason, and don't ask me why, I didn't feel comfortable letting Jackie see me naked. I cracked the bathroom door a little to let out some of the steam then toweled off and dressed before going back out into the bedroom. Jackie, although she had run out of tears, was still lying in the bed sobbing. Had I looked into the face of a stranger who was obviously in so much agony, I would have been able to muster up more compassion than I could for my own wife at that moment.

"Al," she said between sniffles, "help me. I can't even imagine how much you're hurting from what I've done; please, help me find the words to say I'm sorry, tell me what I can do to save our marriage; I don't want a divorce, I want you, I love you, Al, please believe me."

"Jackie, right now I don't know what to believe."

Just then I heard the front door open and the sound of several young female voices down stairs. I still had my original problem to deal with and thought this might be a good opportunity; if nothing else it would take my mind off my marriage struggles for a little while.

As soon as I hit the bottom step and was revealed I got an exuberant salutation from Brea accompanied by a hug around the neck. "Hi daddy," greeted Donna with a kiss to my cheek, "do you know Cindy?" she asked while her friend extended her hand.

"Hi, Cindy," I welcomed her with a gentle handshake. "Girls, I'm glad you're here," I started, "We've got a little problem. The other night I got a call from a young man at three in the morning asking for you, Donna."

"Me?" I could tell she was legitimately surprised.

"Yes, honey, and he wasn't very nice. He called back the next night also but I got him on tape that time. I have the tape in my office, let me get it. I want to see if you can tell me who he is from recognizing his voice for me."

The girls took a seat in the living room while I got the tape and returned. I already had it all cued up to the little creep. I hit the play button and set the recorder on the coffee table so the girls could hear it clearly.

"Dad, I'm sorry," said Donna, "I don't know who that is."

"Me neither," said her friend Cindy.

"I do," snarled Brea, "that's Bobby Kilpatrick, he's a senior and the biggest jerk in our school."

"He's a senior and he's calling Donna? I would think he'd be calling you," I said.

"He's probably calling her to get back at me, Dad. He's been trying to get me to go out on a date with him all year but I just tell him to flake off. Last week he tried to pull my skirt up in the back and I turned around and slapped him. He's probably pissed at me and figures he's going to take it out on Donna." Brea looked at her younger sister, "I'm sorry, Donna, I had no idea he'd pull something like this."

I looked at Donna whose expression said she was a little frightened listening to Brea. "Don't worry, honey, don't be scared, daddy's going to take care of everything," I said trying to be as reassuring as possible. I looked at Brea again, "Do you know where he lives by any chance?" I asked.

"Ah, he lives in the subdivision behind the grocery store someplace but I don't know the exact house," she responded.

"That's okay, as long as I have some idea, there can't be many Kilpatricks living back there and if there's more than one I'll just knock on doors until I find one with a Bobby living behind it." I picked up the tape recorder and started moving toward my office. "Girls, what are you plans tonight?"

"Nothing special, Dad," answered Brea with Donna's agreement.

"Okay, I'm going to make a couple CD's of this tape; Brea, I'll need to borrow your little portable player tonight," I told her. "We're also going to have a family meeting tonight so I want to make sure you're all here around nine tonight. Do you know where Steve is?"

"Yeah, he's over at Tommy's house, Dad, but he'll be back long before that."

"Okay, good," I said; I still had no idea where this was all going to lead, one thing was for sure though, the relationship between my wife and me was going to be noticeably strained and I didn't see any reason to hold out telling the kids what was happening. They were obviously going to find out sooner or later, it might as well be sooner. I sure wasn't looking forward to it though. But first I had something else to take care of...

I was already sitting at my computer making a couple CD's of shit-head's calls when Brea came in with her portable player. It's just a little bigger than an actual CD and has its own speaker so you can listen to it without headphones.

"Dad," she said in a small voice as she handed it to me, "mom's in your bedroom crying, I head her when I went up to get this, what's going on; are you guys fighting?"

"I'm sorry, baby, yes we are; we have some very serious issues we have to deal with, but right now mommy needs some time to be alone and I'm going to take care of this problem with Bobby Kilpatrick, so please, don't say anything to your brother or sisters just yet, okay, honey?"

I looked into Brea's face and she was already starting to cry. God this was going to be hard, I thought as I rose up from my chair and put my arms around her. "Honey," I said, "sometimes bad things happen and there isn't much you can do except go on. Please, I'll do all the explaining tonight."

"Okay," she said being brave. She left and went back up to her room. She knew there was trouble but she didn't know the extent of it, not yet at least.

I sat back down at my computer and looked for Kilpatrick in the area where my daughter said he lived; there was only one. I wondered if the school had a policy on bullying so I went to their website to check it out; turns out they have a zero policy, caught once and you're out. Then I wondered about our town ordinances; there was good news there as well. The local courts were cracking down and took a very dim view of bullying.

I felt pretty confident armed with the info I had so I took one of the CD's I made, Brea's portable player and headed in the direction of Kilpatrick's house.

On the way over I realized I had to calm myself down. I guess I was feeling overwhelmed with everything that was happening in such a short span of time. What I really wanted to do was give this asshole kid the same treatment I gave Vic, but of course that was impossible so I'd just have to settle on scaring him and his parents to death.

"Yes?" asked the tall gentleman who outweighed me by about twenty pounds answering the door.

"Does Bobby Kilpatrick live here?" I asked.

"Yes, can I help you, I'm his father."

I wasted no time; "This is your son calling for my fourteen year old daughter at three in the morning," I said hitting the play button.

About the time he realized what he was hearing his wife came up behind him asking what was going on. "It seems we have a problem, Honey," he told her. "Won't you come in," he asked me opening the door wider.

They offered me a seat on the sofa and immediately started to apologize for their son's behavior. "Is he here?" I asked, "I would like to talk to him."

"Actually he's out with a friend but I'll call him," replied the father. I was surprised, I had expected them to be defensive or make excuses for their son but that was not the case. When Bobby answered his cell his dad told him to be home in fifteen minutes or not to come home at all. I turned down the wife's suggestion for coffee, a caffeine jolt was the last thing I needed by that time.

As soon as Bobby walked in the door I rose up and approached him holding out my hand with a smile before his parents could say anything. He was completely unaware of who I was as I took a hold of his hand with an extremely firm grip.

"Hello, Bobby," I said squeezing his hand with all my might, "I'm Mr. Cooper, Brea and Donna's father." His eyes got as big as his mouth; he grimaced from my handshake and turned pale as he tried to pull his hand away. "I see you're surprised to see me," I said looking him directly in the face and smiling at the terror I saw in his eyes.

"Ah, I mean... , ah," he was stumbling for something to say.

"Sit down, Bobby, I've been talking with your folks, explaining the situation and now I want to explain it to you." I sat back down on the couch where I was sitting before. Bobby sat in a chair not far away and looked at his parents trying to decipher how much trouble he was in. I pushed the play button and watched as he recognized whose voice he was hearing. I hit the stop button and looked over at him.

"Are you aware of your schools policy on bullying, Bobby? You can look it up if you don't believe but basically what it says is if a student is caught bullying another student they will be expelled from school. Wouldn't that be a shame, being in school for twelve years, then just before graduation, getting expelled?"

Bobby was just sitting there with his mouth open. I think he still couldn't believe he had been caught.

"There are also laws against bullying; I doubt that you would actually spend any time in jail, but your dad would have to fork out money for a lawyer that's for sure. You'd have to go to court and you can bet I'd be there to testify against you. You'd probably wind up doing community service, you know, like those guys in the bright orange jump suits picking up trash on the side of the highway. If that happens I'm going to make sure all your friends from school know about it so they can drive by and say hi."

I could see tears welling up in Bobby's eyes. Good, he was grasping the situation; he wasn't as stupid as I thought he was, but there was one more thing.

"Now, Bobby, here's what's going to happen; tomorrow you're going to get as many of your friends together as you can and you're all going to find Brea and Donna. When you do you're going to apologize ... sincerely apologize. If I get home tomorrow night and they tell me it didn't happen I'm playing this tape for the principle and the police chief. I will have you arrested for bullying, disturbing the peace, assault, and malicious conduct; and, as I said, I will take time off from work and go to court as many times as I have to, to testify against you and make sure you're convicted; do I make myself clear?"

He put his head down and nodded but that wasn't good enough for his dad who had remained silent the whole time I talked.

"Answer the man," he bellowed.

"Yes, Sir, Mr. Cooper; I'll apologize tomorrow, I promise," he said.

"What about Mr. Cooper, you owe him an apology for waking him up in the middle of the night and making him go through all this," his dad angrily declared.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Cooper, I promise it won't happen again."

"Oh you can be sure of that because I'm taking the cell phone away from you," said his dad, "and I'm not as easy going as Mr. Cooper. Give me your keys," he said reaching out his hand. The kid gave his car keys to his dad. "You're also grounded for a month, no going out, no dates, and no having friends over."

He and Mrs. Kilpatrick both told me they were sorry as I left. I had no idea if I could really have Bobby arrested on all those charges, I wasn't even sure I could use the tape but I felt pretty certain neither Bobby, nor his parents, were going to test me and I doubted very much that I would be hearing from Bobby again.

Now if I could only solve my marriage problems that easily I thought on the way home.

When I walked into the house the kids were all sitting in front of the TV watching the latest Pulsar animated movie. I was hoping Jackie would be fixing dinner by then but I can't say I was really surprised to see the kitchen was dark. I greeted the kids and announced we would be having pizza shortly as I dialed for its delivery then went upstairs to check on Jackie. I listened at the closed bedroom door for a second and thought of knocking before going in. Fuck it, I thought, this is my house, I'll be damned if I'm going to knock before going into my own bedroom.

I opened the door and walked in. The only light was what followed me from the hall. "Are you awake?" I asked the dimly lit figure.

"Yes," she muttered weakly, "what time is it?"

"It's seven-thirty, I ordered pizza, it should be here in half an hour so you should clean yourself up some and go down stairs to eat with us; afterward we're going to have a family meeting and tell the kids..."

"Oh, Al," she interrupted, "we don't have to say anything to the kids yet, do we? We can work this out; please, let's not say anything; let's give it some time anyway."

"Jackie, I'm not so sure we can work things out. I've never been so hurt or disappointed in my life." I heard a latent sniffle in the dark. "Whether we get through this or not I really don't know right now; I do know I need some time to think and I can't do that here. I'm moving out tomorrow after work, nothing permanent; not yet anyway. I'll probably check into that hotel on Mannheim that has weekly rates. The kids already know you're up here crying, they're not stupid, they know something is wrong; I won't give them any details but we have to let them know what's happening."

I saw her getting up and heading for the bathroom, "Okay, honey," she replied in a sad sounding whisper. "Whatever you feel is best." She got half way to the bathroom and stopped dead, "Honey, please don't divorce me, I don't know how yet, but some way I'll make this up to you, I promise."

I didn't say anything; I just turned around and left. I went down to the kitchen and started setting the table.

Both Jackie and I tried to act normal, but as I said, the kids weren't stupid. Hardly anyone spoke a word while eating and everyone remained seated when we were done.

"Okay, guys," I started, "by the sad looks on everyone's face you already know what this meeting is all about; your mother and I having are having some marital problems."

"Dad, are you..." Steve started to but in; I put up my hand to stop him.

"Hold on, let me finish, then I'll answer your questions. This is obviously going to affect you kids, but I want you to know the problems your mother and I are having have nothing to do with anything any of you did, this is between your mother and me. We both love you all very much; does everyone understand that?"

Everyone nodded their heads slowly.

"Good, also this does not mean that your mother and I don't still love each other; unfortunately love isn't the only thing that holds a couple together; relationships are complicated, there are lots of other factors involved and they all play a part when two people are happy with one another. Sometimes things happen to put a strain of a relationship, that's all. Now, Steve, you had a question."

"Are you guys going to get a divorce?" he asked.

"Oh no, honey, dad and..."

I raised my hand again; this time to stop my wife from talking.

"There will be no more lies in this family," I declared looking at her with a stern expression. I turned back to Steve. "The truth is I just don't know right now, Steve. I'd say the chances are about fifty-fifty." I heard Jackie gasp when she heard the odds I gave for staying together. She obviously still had no idea of the kind of pain I was going through.

"I'm going to move into a motel for a while so your mother and I can think things out. That does not mean I'm abandoning you guys, if you need me I'll be right down the street; you have my cell, you can call anytime and I'll be here."

"Oh, daddy," cried Gwen, our youngest, as she came over and hugged me around the neck. I hugged her back and kissed her on the cheek. I looked around the table; there wasn't a dry eye in the place including Jackie's or mine. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest again as everyone made me so aware of how our happy family could be torn apart. The family unit, I thought, that's what they call it in all those psychology books; I never thought of it as a unit; to me it was my family, the wife and kids; I was just now realizing how fragile a family can be and how easily it can be destroyed.

I looked at Jackie to see if she had anything to say but she remained silent so I finished the meeting myself.