Chapter 2

~Lila~

I opened one eye slowly and immediately the sun blinded me. I should have remembered to shut my blinds completely but no. I groaned and turned away from the window to open my eyes. My head was spinning and my mouth was dry.

I raised my head up slowly and felt my head pounding. I got up out of bed realizing I still had my same clothes that I wore last night, which was a pair of sweat pants and a dark blue tank top.

I stood up and felt sick. I walked out of my room and into the living room desperately searching for some water and aspirin. I got out the cold pitcher of water and poured me a big glass. I chugged it fast and poured me another. The water so heavenly!

Just then I heard the door open. Ben walked in carrying his backpack. I looked at the clock on the microwave and cursed silently. It was past noon and I had missed my two morning classes. Shit!

"Hey," Ben said and set his backpack down on couch.

"Hey," I groaned.

"You ok?" He asked.

I nodded. "Not really. I need some aspirin."

Ben went over to the bathroom and came back with a bottle of Tylenol. "Here you go this is all I could find for a headache," he said and handed me the bottle.

I poured me another glass of water and took the Tylenol.

"Oh man ... I'll never drink like that again," I said and pressed my fingers to my head.

Ben stared at me. "You were pretty drunk last night."

I looked at him and laughed. "Yeah I know. Sorry about that. Did you carry me to my room?"

He nodded.

"Thanks. I'm so sorry I guess I was just feeling really down."

Ben stared and said nothing.

"What?" I asked.

"You don't ... you don't remember anything about last night?"

"Um..."I started to think back. I remember hanging out with Flanna and telling her how much I missed Gary and even mentioning Ben to her. She seemed interested I just hadn't told Ben that. Then I remembered her giving me the bottle of Grey Goose and telling me to be sure to chill it first. I had gotten home and put it in the freezer right away. I called Gary a few times but only got voicemail. That really depressed me.

I grabbed the bottle of Grey Goose and started drinking it like it was water. By the time I knew it I was so wasted.

"I don't know ... I just remember the Grey Goose bottle and me making a complete fool out of myself. I'm sorry you had to see me that way."

Ben licked his lips and smiled shyly. "You don't remember anything else?"

I felt my eyes widen. "Oh my god! Don't tell me I said something very private to you? Oh my god!"

Ben's smile faded. "No. That's not it."

I frowned. "Well ... oh my god ... don't tell me I started dancing or doing something stupid like that?"

Ben shook his head calmly.

I stood in the kitchen with Ben feeling like a total scatterbrain. "Um help me out here bro."

Ben looked down and then slowly looked at me. "You kissed me," he muttered.

I felt my body go numb. "What?"

Ben kept his eyes on me. "You kissed me," he repeated.

"Oh my god!" I gasped and felt my face turning red. "I am so sorry bro. I ... oh my god!" I started giggling. I could imagine Ben's horror having me slobbering all over him.

"Ben, I'm really sorry. Oh Jesus, you must have been grossing out so much!" I laughed more.

I hadn't realized I laughed and Ben hadn't until I felt my laughter fading. Ben was looking at me with such intense eyes. I felt myself backing away from him for some reason. My legs felt wobbly all of a sudden. I had to look away from his intense stare.

"It's ok," he began, "I ... I kissed you back."

I quickly looked up at him and flashed him angry eyes. "You what?"

He stood back and paused for a moment. "I said I kissed you back."

My entire body began to shake. "W-why did you do that?" I dared to ask.

Ben shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe because ... I liked it."

I felt enraged! "You pervert!" I shouted at him.

Ben blinked. He seemed shocked. "Pervert?"

"Yes! You! Pervert! How could you have taken advantage of me like that? You knew I was drunk and I was feeling lonely!"

Ben put his hands up. "Whoa! Wait a minute. You are the one who kissed me-"

"And you didn't have enough respect for me to tell me to stop and push me away?"

Ben scoffed. "I can't believe you think I don't respect you."

"It feels like you don't! You took full advantage of me Ben!" I was yelling at him.

Ben frowned. "I did not. I simply kissed you back. I enjoyed it. I'm not ashamed to say."

I huffed and walked past him. I went into my room and slammed the door shut hard! I threw myself on the bed and began to cry. I couldn't believe what my brother had just told me!

I flipped over on my back and looked up at the ceiling. Ben was lying. He had to be lying. I would never, ever have kissed my brother! Never! That was so gross! He must have been playing a trick on me! That had to be it right?

Suddenly my memory came back slowly. I closed my eyes for a moment and touched my lips. I was curious now, a little too curious.

I opened my eyes and was so pissed off! I got up from my bed and walked right out to the living room where Ben stood.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I hope you are joking about this. If you're joking haha! You got me good ok? Now go tell all your stupid friends that you pranked me!"

Ben crossed his arms. "I don't know why you think I'd joke about that Lila."

I felt my nostrils flare. "Shut up! Just tell me it was a fucking joke ok?" I yelled.

Ben sighed. "Yeah ... ok ... it was a joke. Satisfied?"

I was shaking from all the anger. "I hate you Ben!" I screamed and went back to my room. I turned up the music loud and cried in bed. I had forgotten about my headache and hangover.

~Ben~

I went to my room after having Lila basically tell me I'm scum for kissing her back. She played her music loudly as she always did when she was mad. I wasn't about to apologize to her about the kiss. I admitted that I liked it and I meant it. I more than liked it ... I loved it.

I figured she had to cool down sometime. Maybe once she was calm, she and I could talk about the kiss like two adults. I had to admit I did feel guilt. She was drunk after all, but she knew damn well who she was kissing. It's not like she called me Gary. She knew it was me.

I had to go back to school later that afternoon for one of my classes. I hoped that when I returned, Lila would talk to me instead of just scream at me.

~Lila~

I waited until Ben left for his afternoon class to leave my room. The apartment was quiet. I noticed the half empty bottle of Grey Goose on the counter. I stared at the alcohol and felt angry again.

I couldn't believe I had been such an idiot and gotten so wasted that I ended up making out with my own brother. Ugh.

I felt my stomach begin to turn. My heart was pounding wildly as I thought about kissing Ben. For a moment ... let me clarify just for a small brief moment, I wondered what his kiss had felt like. I somehow wished I could have at least remembered it. Had he used his tongue...

I snapped out of my thoughts and grabbed the bottle of Grey Goose and started pouring it down the drain. At the moment I poured the last of the Grey Goose content out of the bottle, my cell phone rang. It was in my room so I rushed over to answer it.

My heart pounded when I saw Gary's number displayed on the caller ID. Shit!

"H-hello?" I answered my hands were so shaky I could barely hold the phone.

"Hey, hey my princess," Gary said.

"Hi," I replied in a small voice.

"You ok?"

I wasn't sure how to answer that. "Y-yeah I'm fine. How are you?"

"You don't sound very excited to hear from me," Gary said curtly.

I winced. "Um no don't say that. I'm so happy to hear from you my love. I have missed you but I'm kind of mad at you that you haven't called me! I've left you like a thousand messages."

I heard Gary scoff. "I'm sorry gorgeous, but I've been so busy with school."

"Yes, I know this Gary but you can always make time to at least text me to say hi or something."

"I'm sorry. I really am. And to make it up to you ... I think I'm going to go visit you this weekend."

My eyes widened. "What?" I almost yelled.

Gary laughed. "I said I'm going to go visit you this weekend. Would you like that?"

I was about to panic. "Um ... y-yes of c-course."

"Great! Maybe you and I can go out and Ben and your friend can come along with us. You know I have to catch up with my buddy too. Then you and I can have some alone time if you know what I mean," Gary snickered.

I wasn't sure how to react to Gary's news. I had been craving my boyfriend. I had been wanting to kiss him and hold him and now...

"No Ben and Flanna. Let it just be you and I sharing our time together. I don't want anyone else around."

Gary scoffed again. "Ok, but I do want to hang out with my buddy Ben for a bit if that's ok with you."

I felt nervous. "Um ... yeah of c-course." I feared what would happen if Ben told Gary that we had kissed.

"Well gorgeous, I have to go now, but I'll call you later tonight."

"Ok, you promise?"

"I promise."

"I love you," I whispered into the phone.

"Love you too doll," Gary replied casually. I held the phone near my ear until it went dead.

Later that night, Ben came home just as I had finished up eating a lean cuisine meal. I was throwing the box away when he opened the door. We stared at each other for a moment and I had to look away.

"Hey," he said in a deep voice.

"Hey," I replied nonchalantly.

"You want to talk about it?" He asked as he placed his backpack on the couch.

I stood on the corner far away from him. "I guess. I don't know if I really want to."

"I think we should," Ben suggested.

I crossed my arms. "Ok ... so talk."

Ben walked closer to me making me really nervous. "Um ... well..." he laughed quietly, "I don't know where to start-"

"Did we ... um did we use ... did we um..." I was stumbling on my words. "Did we ... use tongue?" I interrupted him.

I saw his face turn red and I knew the answer right away. "Yes."

I began to fidget. "Um ok ... I don't think I want to know anymore."

Ben inched closer. I moved back up I was up against the wall nowhere else to go. "Are you sure? I can tell you more," Ben murmured.

"I said no!" I yelled and walked past him. I stood in the living room away from him. My back was towards him.