Chapter 3

That afternoon they removed the drain from my wound and I got up and got dressed left a note for Sarah and went off in search of Alex. I found him and Susan still in the same room as I had seen them before. He was sitting up and looking fitter than I had seen him in months. As I walked in the door his face dropped and he looked at his mother. She was looking at me with a big beaming smile.

"How are you feeling Harry" she asked.

"I am fine" I turned to Alex. "more to the point how are you young man?"

"OK I guess. They found me a donor and I had a transplant the day before yesterday"

I came close to the bed and grabbed his hand to shake it, I half expected him to pull it away but he didn't.

"I am sorry it has taken me so long to get here. I hurt my back and couldn't get out of bed for a few days" Susan shot me another smile, reached across the bed, took my hand and squeezed it.

"Hey what's all this? Have you two kissed and made up or something?"

"Not exactly, your father and I have talked and cleared the air between us."

"Yes she caught me in a position where I couldn't get away. My ears are still ringing."

Alex grinned "No jokes dad it hurts to laugh"

"What we have done is to open lines of communication. Now have you got your phone with you?"

Susan passed the phone from his locker and I punched in my new mobile number.

"That's my new mobile number, please share it with your mum and brother and sister. You can get me on that number or you can just call my old office number"

Susan looked at me with a shocked look on her face. "You mean that all this time, all I had to do was call your office number to get hold of you?"

"Yeah of course. I still had to work you know."

Susan and Alex started to laugh until Alex felt his stitches pulling. I stayed for a while and told him how he would have to be more careful in future and reminded him that he would still have all the anti-rejection drugs to take.

"Don't worry dad I know that this is my second chance. Everybody deserves a second chance don't they dad."

"Yes" I said pretending to miss what he was getting at, "but they rarely get a third."

As I started to leave Susan got up and came to the door. She took my hand in hers and said "Thank you Harry" Then surprised me by going up onto tip toes, kissing me on the cheek and whispering in my ear, "I love you"

I placed my other hand on hers and said "One step at a time Susan, One step at a time".

When I got back to the ward I found Sarah waiting for me at the nurses station. She grabbed my arm and took me back to my room.

"Come on you are supposed to be a patient, not a visitor"

As soon as we were back in my room she asked "So how is he Harry?"

I told her how well Alex looked, and that I had a reasonable conversation with him.

"Did Susan come to see you?"

"Yes she did and who told her I was here?"

"Ah, that would be me I guess. Sorry Harry I just couldn't bear the thought of Gary getting all the credit for Alex's recovery"

Sarah told me the nurses were expecting me to be discharged the following day and assured me she would be there to collect me.

The following day I was indeed discharged on the condition that there was someone at home to look after me. I lied and told them there was. I gave Sarah a call and asked her to delay picking me up so that I could go and see Alex again.

He was looking great and I had obviously got there before Susan. It didn't take him long to get straight to what he wanted to know.

"You and mum were getting on well yesterday does that mean you are coming home soon"

"It's too early to say" I told him "There is a lot of hurt to get over first.- Still, we are talking now so that's a start isn't it"

"Yeah, I suppose"

"Anyway, I will still come over to see you and you are always welcome to come to my house"

"Will she be there?"

"If by she, you mean Sarah then yes she may be there from time to time"

"In that case I'd rather not."

"Now listen Alex" I said not trying to disguise my irritation. "Sarah is not the reason that I left your mother."

"No, but she might be the reason you don't come back."

I changed the subject and talked about what he did all day now he was feeling so much better. We talked about how he was going to catch up on his school work.

Just as I was about to leave Susan arrived. "Don't leave on my account Harry".

"I'm not I've got someone coming to pick me up and I don't want to keep them waiting."

She decided to walk out with me. As we walked we talked about how I was and about Jacob and Maddy. She guessed who was coming to collect me and as we neared the entrance we could see her waiting for me.

"Harry, please tell me that is not the little mouse that was Sarah"

I laughed "Sorry no can do. Are you going to come out to meet her"

Sarah stood there wearing brown boots with three inch heels, beige trousers, white cotton blouse and short tweed jacket. The outfit was topped of with a flat cap. She was the image of a country lady. You would have expected her to be standing by a Range Rover but instead there was a black Audi 4X4.

"Really Harry, I don't think that is a good idea, do you?"

I left her there and went out to meet Sarah.

"Hi Harry" she said before kissing me she pointed to the car. "I borrowed this, I thought it would be a bit easier for you to get in and out of."

For the next week she nursed me as much as she could. The biggest downside for me was, she would not risk lovemaking until the stitches were out. That happened some twelve days after the operation. I attended the outpatients department of the local hospital. The girl on reception told me they were about an hour behind schedule and asked me to take a seat. Sarah and I sat side by side waiting our turn. After a short while a pretty little nurse came into reception and collected patients notes. Sarah got up and walked over to her. I could see her nodding in my direction and the nurse put her hand over her mouth to stifle a giggle. Sarah came back and sat down.

"Not long now Harry."

The nurse came back into reception. "Mr Anderson" she called

I followed her to a cubicle where she asked me to pull my shirt up and lie face down on the bed. As I did so she kept giggling to her self.

"Do you know Sarah?" I asked.

"Who" she said then realised and continued "Oh you mean the lady you came in with. No I've never met her before today."

"Well, the two of you seemed to be sharing a good joke at my expense. Would you mind sharing it with me."

"No it wasn't really at your expense." she said as she started clipping and pulling stitches out. "She told me you were a live kidney donor and you hadn't made love to her since before the operation twelve days ago. Then she said she was now so horny that if we didn't hurry up she'd have to mount you right there in reception."

We both laughed out loud before she got back down to business and finished the job. She was extremely proficient and I was out in a matter of minutes. As I walked through reception I took Sarah's hand.

"Come on, you and I have things to attend to."

We rushed out of the Hospital and back to the car. She had my belt undone and "Harry's Canon" as she called it in her hands all the way home. By the time we got to my place we were both so eager that we were undressing on the way to the front door. We were down to our underwear when we reached the bedroom. We didn't bother with lunch that day and it was mid afternoon when I asked if she was going to do the school run.

"Mum's doing it for me you have got me till six 'O' clock"

"Well we had better make the most of it " I said as I pulled her to me and kissed her.

We were well into some more body exploration when the phone rang. I reached out and picked it up.

"Hello, Harry Anderson"

"I can't believe that this was all I had to do to get hold of you"

"Hello Susan. What can I do for you"

Sarah started kissing my stomach and moving downwards.

"Alex comes home tomorrow and we are having a coming home party"

"That sounds - n.n.nice" I said as I felt Sarah start to suck a fresh charge into the canon.

"Are you in pain Harry"

"No - just a li.i.i.ttle uncomfortable" I said watching Sarah's head bobbing up and down.

"Not too uncomfortable I hope I was hoping that you would come"

"Orgh! I would say that is a distinct possibly" I said as Sarah's nose pressed into my scrotum.

"Are you sure you are all right? I could come over if you need some help."

"No - I can ... man ... age. What time do you want me there?"

"If you could come about four?"

"Oh ... I think it may be earlier than that."

"Whatever Harry. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye"

I said good bye and hung up. At that point I exploded into Sarah's mouth. I looked down at Sarah sucking the last drops from my dick. I slapped her delicious arse.

"You are a very naughty girl."

"Are you going to spank me sir" she asked as a smile spread across her face.

We spent the rest of the afternoon playing with pain and pleasure and the fine line between the two until she left me for the day.

I arrived at the party and immediately realised that I shouldn't have come. My mother was there along with Susan's mother and father, my brother Bob and his wife Wendy. In short all the people who wanted me to move back home or know the reason why. Susan seemed overjoyed to see me and greeted me with a kiss on the lips. She was followed by Jacob and Maddy who ran up and hugged me. Even Alex came out to meet me. We had friends, neighbours and friends of the children. Susan had really pushed the boat out. She had cooked the food which, as usual, was plentiful. She had even bought a case of my favourite beer. Susan fetched me a beer and I tried my hardest to surround myself with non family members.

"Are you going to avoid your mother all evening then" My mother had managed to pin me down at last.

"I'm sorry mum, I know I have neglected you over the last six months or so. The fact of the matter is that it isn't you I have been trying to avoid, It's the lecture that I think I am going to get now."

"If you mean that I'm going to tell you to stop behaving like a spoiled child then you are right.".

My mother thought that Susan was the best thing that had happened to me and for seventeen years I would have agreed. I couldn't tell her why I now had my doubts. If she knew the story she would be screaming for paternity tests and if it showed that they were not mine then she would turn her back on them. The children would never understand why Grandma didn't want to see them any more.

"What's this new woman got that makes you abandon your wife and children?"

"This new woman as you call her was a result of my problems with Susan, not the cause of them. If it hadn't been for her you might have been talking to me through prison bars right now. If you are looking for someone to blame then blame me or blame Susan but leave Sarah out of it. Unfortunately mum you are doing what you always do, making judgements without knowing the whole story."

"So what else am I supposed to do when nobody will tell me anything. You tell me nothing and Susan only says that it's all her fault."

"Perhaps no one will tell you anything because, quite frankly mum, it's none of your business."

"My son walks out on his wife and my grand children" she was beginning to get loud now "and he tells me it's none of my business. Huh"

Susan came over and rescued me. "She means well" she said as she steered me back towards the kids.

"I know" I said "everybody thinks I am a bastard because I won't tell them the reason for our problems and unless I do they can't believe that it's not my fault. If I do tell them it will have a terrible effect on the kids. God Susan this is killing me I wish I had never come."

I grabbed another beer and took the children out to the garden. Alex, who had seen and heard everything, even gave me a sympathetic look. I sat outside with them for a while chatting about school and their friends. Maddy even asked after Sarah. Bob and Wendy came out to talk to me.

"Well, Wendy told me you had changed but if she hadn't I wouldn't have recognised you. Whatever happened to my geeky brother?"

"He met a woman who saw more than a geek in him" I said.

"She certainly did a great job"

Bob was obviously feeling rather awkward. "You're right what you said to mum, it's none of our business but you must see Harry, we only want to help and we can't do that if we don't know what the problem is."

"I know that Bob. I really would like to be able to tell people, if only to stop them thinking of me as the devil incarnate. The problem is, if I did, it would change things forever and I am not prepared to let that happen. I would rather walk on cloven hooves."

He grinned and simply said "You know where we are Harry, don't be a stranger"

Sometimes it can be surprising where support comes from. Susan's mother, Elaine, has never thought that I was good enough for her daughter. She wanted her to marry some social worker who was destined for higher things. He was running the child protection unit now. It didn't matter that I brought home twice as much cash as the said social worker, I was an engineer and so not worthy of her daughter. John was Susan's stepfather, her father having died young. While Elaine would not even acknowledge my existence. John came over and sat opposite me out in the garden.

"She's not a bad woman you know Harry, a little weak at times but not bad."

"Who are we talking about here John, cos if it's Elaine I might have to disagree with you"

"Susan you fool I only know what she has told me, that it's all her fault and that she has hurt you very deeply. Elaine doesn't believe that, of course, but I have never known Susan own up to anything she didn't do. She really loves you Harry, always has. The only time I have ever seen her stand up to her mother was when you asked her to marry you. Elaine was spitting nails for weeks after she said yes."

"I can imagine" I said with a grin.

"You're a good bloke Harry. You spend your life solving problems for one company or another. Think about it. Are you sure you can't find a solution for this one. I don't want to see you as one of those sad divorced men taking their kids to the park or the zoo every other weekend. You deserve better than that."

I got us both another beer and we sat and chatted about my work, the state of the world anything really other than me and Susan. However, his words kept coming back to me. wasn't that what I already was, a sad man who saw his kids once a fortnight. John stayed with me for quite some time, until Elaine came over and told him it was time to go. As he stood up he suddenly reached out for the table to steady himself.

"God Harry how strong is that stuff?" he said referring to the beer.

I looked at the label, "six point six per cent by volume." I said.

"Good grief and we have had three or four of them"

"That's it Elaine old girl, you're driving tonight" he said and handed her the keys. He gave me a sly wink as they left.

John's words kept going around in my head. I had seen those men he talked about, in the park or the zoo or McDonald's desperately trying to find interesting things to do in the few short hours that they saw their children. The mere thought of it had me reaching for another beer and then another. By the time the other guests had left Maddy was telling Susan that she thought daddy was ill because he was talking really funny. Susan came out and helped me get up and walk inside. I sat down on the sofa and just let the world go past me. She put Maddy and Jacob to bed and even Alex retired leaving just the two of us.

"I've got to go" I said.

"Harry you are in no fit state to drive, stay here" she told me.

"No I will get a cab."

"It's ten thirty on a Friday night. All the cabs will be in the town centre ferrying the clubbers and drinkers around. No one is going to want to come all the way out here to take you to the other side of town. Stay the night here, it is your home after all."

"O.K. Just bring me a duvet and a pillow and I will sleep on the sofa."

"I'll do no such thing. - I've been keeping a place for you to sleep for the last six months and you are not going to let it go to waste now."

With Susan on my left side and the bannister rail on my right I made my way upstairs to the bedroom.

I woke to the sound of voices outside the bedroom door. It slowly opened and Jacob and Maddy came into the room. Maddy was carrying a tray with two cups of coffee and a plate piled high with Marmite toast. "Breakfast" she said.

"Thank you very much did you do all this yourselves"

"Yes Alex said your car was still outside and that if we were good you might stay with us today. Will you daddy, will you stay with us today."

"I don't know, it is not my turn this weekend so perhaps we had better ask your mum"

Susan was still lying down with the sheet pulled up to her neck.

"Your daddy can stay with us for as long as he likes." she said.

As the kids left the room I picked up my coffee looked down at her.

"And how often does this happen around here these days?"

"About as often as me waking up naked" she said as she sat up revealing her lovely breasts "and that's been never in the last six months. I have got to say it Harry, even drunk you don't do a bad job."

At the children's suggestion we decided to go to the forest for a picnic. We took Susan's people carrier and put three of the kids bikes in the back. I suggested that we swing by the house and pick up my bike and Sarah's so we could all have some fun. When we pulled up at the house and Susan just looked in wonder. Five minutes later we had the other two bikes on the rack and were off to forest. We had a picnic by the river and rode through the forest. Susan soon got tired so she and I walked. When she saw Alex speeding down one of the hills weaving in and out of the trees she screamed out in panic. I dropped the bike and ran round to hug her.

"He has to be more careful now Harry, you both have" she sobbed.

"We can't wrap him in cotton wool I told her. He is a teenage boy and we have to let him behave like one" I took her back to the car and sat with her till she got over her fear.

We all had a good time and we drove home with three tired children. Susan made us a warm chicken salad for supper and Jacob and Maddy were both in bed just after eight. When Alex went up to his room at about ten thirty I made ready to leave. Susan threw her arms around me and hugged me tight.

"Please Harry can't you stay with me tonight? I really need to hold you."

My head started to spin, I could justify the previous night to myself because I was drunk. If I stayed tonight it would be because I'd consciously made the decision to stay.

"Susan, if I stay tonight it won't make any difference to us. I'll still go home in the morning. I'll still be with Sarah on Monday. There's more wrong with our relationship than can be cured by a night in the same bed."

"I know all that Harry. I'm not trying to use sex to tempt you back, though if I thought it would work I would. Today I realised how vulnerable you are now, both you and Alex. I may not have time to play a long game and hope you come back to me. I just want one more night Harry because I don't know if it may be the last one."

I put my arm around her shoulders and as we walked towards the stairs and then the bedroom I reminded her of all the things the doctors had told us about being able to live a full active life assured her I intended to get the most from the pension plan I had been paying into.

Once in the bedroom she was a changed person from the Susan I was used to. In seconds she had my trousers round ankles and was on her knees holding my dick with one hand while she licked and kissed the head. I looked down at her and put two fingers under her chin and turned her face up to look at me.

"You really don't have to do that." I said, knowing how reluctant she'd always been to give me a blow job.

Susan looked disappointed "I thought you liked it."

"I do, very much but I always thought you didn't like doing it"

"If you like it then I really want to do it for you. I've been a selfish bitch Harry. I've always taken what I wanted from our love making and you've always given it to me. Tonight it's payback time."

She went to work with a will and before long I could feel the clenching in my scrotum I started to tell her.

She didn't flinch as I cried out, "Susan, I'm cumming."

When the first stream shot into her mouth she stopped moving but continued to suck until it was all over. She swallowed the lot then looked up at me.

"That's really not too bad" she said as she got back on her feet then kissed me with a passion I had long forgotten.

She undressed me and pushed me back on to the bed. She then proceeded to strip off herself as I watched her every move. We got into bed kissed and hugged some more. As I ran my fingers down over her back and bum her hips thrust forward into me. As I moved to her breasts, suckling and nibbling on her nipples she was gasping for breath and as soon as my fingers reached her clitoris she was cumming heavily. The cannon as Sarah liked to call it was now ready for firing again. Susan pushed me over onto my back and started to ride me cowgirl style. She was cumming for a second time by the time the canon fired again. I pulled her down onto my chest and let the canon soften and shrink inside her. We kissed and hugged and I ran my hands all over her back and bum. We made love several times that night. We tried doggy, reverse cowgirl and she even offered me her arse. I explained that she would need some preparation for that so it was left out. In the morning I woke to find her sucking the canon back into life.

"Thanks for staying Harry. It was lovely wasn't it?"

"Yes Susan it was really lovely, though I don't know what I am going to tell Sarah"

"We are still man and wife Harry, what goes on between us is nobody's business but ours"

I was suddenly very annoyed. "There you go again Susan, trying to keep secrets. Have you learned nothing over the last six months? I have a relationship with Sarah I'm not going to deceive her. She may want nothing more to do with me but that's a risk I'm prepared to take."

She shed a few tears "Sorry Harry, I didn't think"

I drove back to the house I'd started to think of as home and was cursing myself for what I 'd done. I should've walked away last night. We had a wonderful night and it awakened all the old

desires for Susan. I had always really enjoyed making love with her but the less inhibited Susan of last night had been even better. However, lovemaking isn't everything.

I spent Sunday working and trying to figure out what I was going to say to Sarah. To a degree Susan was right there was no reason why I shouldn't make love to my wife but I had told Sarah that I loved her and I now felt like I had cheated on her. The only thing to do was to tell her on Monday morning and accept anything she chose to throw at me.

That Monday she arrived at my house about nine thirty. I told her that I needed to talk to her. We sat at the dining room table and Sarah looked apprehensive.

"I have to tell you, on Friday and Saturday I slept with Susan. Friday night I was drunk but for Saturday I have no excuse."

She sat there looking at me for several minutes then she said "Is that it? You slept with your wife, so what?"

"You mean you are not angry"

"Harry, I have already told you that I accept the fact that you will probably always love Susan. That surely means that from time to time you will want to make love to her. I can live with that Harry. If it is a choice between sharing you and not having you at all, I already know what my choice will be. Now tell me about your weekend."

I told her about the party and the conversations with my mother and brother. I told her about Susan's mother and the conversation with John, Susan's stepfather.

"And that's why you got drunk?"

I nodded

"Well I am not surprised Harry. What I am surprised about is that she still hasn't even told her parents what she did. I know you will defend her but it really isn't on that she lets you take the blame still."

I took both her hands and pulled her up into an embrace. "I need some shopping," I said "let's go and do that and we can get some lunch while we are out."

We went out, did the shopping, had lunch out and generally enjoyed being together. When we returned and just cuddled up on the Sofa. Before she left for the school run I told her that I had an appointment the following day and would not be back till the afternoon.

"That's OK Harry, as a matter of fact I also have something to do tomorrow" she said.

Susan wasn't expecting visitors that morning so when the doorbell rang she was somewhat surprised. Her first thought was that perhaps it was Harry but her surprise was complete when she opened the door to find Sarah standing there. Sarah, on the other hand, knew exactly why she was there. She didn't wait for an invitation she just pushed past Susan into the house.

"Good Morning Susan, we need to talk."

"What the hell do you think you are doing? You can't barge into my house making demands"

"Well I think I can and what's more I just have. Now, are you going to call the police and have me thrown out or are you going to talk to me?"

Susan showed her to the lounge. "Would you like coffee?"

"No thanks Susan. I've come here to talk not to socialize"

"And what do you want to talk about?"

"I would've thought that was obvious, I've come to ask you when you're going to take responsibility for what you've done to Harry?" The anger was obvious in Sarah's voice.

"I have, I've told everyone that it's all my fault."

"Not good enough. You haven't told anyone what you did, not even your own parents. No one believes that saint Susan could ever do anything that would warrant Harry's behaviour. How about letting him bring up another man's children believing them to be his own? When are you going to tell them about that."

Susan burst into tears but Sarah would not be deflected.

"Oh turn off the waterworks Susan, it may work on Harry but not on me. Poor Harry has to put up with everyone, even his own mother, believing he's the one in the wrong. He won't tell them because of the way it would affect you and the children. He can't stand the thought of people hating you. So what's your excuse.? Why can't you even tell Alex, he thinks I am the reason that Harry hasn't come back to you but we both know it's what you did that keeps him away."

"I can't tell Alex, it would break him."

"Come off it Susan. You won't tell him because he might start treating you the way he now treats his father. Yes I still call Harry his father because as far as Harry's concerned that's what he has always been."

"But everyone will hate me."

"Isn't that better than having them hate Harry for something that's not his fault?"

"Yes, Yes of course it is" said Susan fighting back the tears "I told him on Sunday that I was a selfish bitch and that's just what I am being now isn't it?"

"You'll get no arguments from me on that score. The fact of the matter is that you're the only one who can do anything about that."

Susan burst into tears again and Sarah's compassionate side kicked in. She left Susan crying and went to the kitchen to make coffee. She searched the cupboards and found all the necessary items and by the time she came back to the sofa Susan was drying her eyes. Sarah set the coffee down on the table and sat beside Susan.

"Tell me Susan, do you remember back in the old days when we used to go to all those grope in the dark parties?"

Susan managed a quick smile. "Yes I do. I always hated them. When I eventually told Harry that we stopped going"

"I was so jealous of you in those days. You were clever and attractive and everybody loved you. To make things worse you had the only decent man in the whole crowd."

Susan sipped her coffee. "My mother wouldn't agree with you on the last part"

"Then your mother is a fool."

"Not just a fool but a terrible snob as well. She's never forgiven Harry for being born on the council estate."

They both laughed at that "or for being an engineer" Susan continued.

They continued to reminisce and the atmosphere improved. By the time Sarah left they were like friends talking. As she walked out Sarah turned back to Susan.

"Susan do you really love Harry?"

"I wouldn't want to live without him"

"Then you know what you must do."

I was sitting in the outer office of Mr Gordon McCurrie, Sarah's father. So far he had kept me waiting for twenty minutes. When his secretary told me that he would see me I have to admit to some nerves. I walked into the office and found slightly overweight man of about five foot six. He had blue eyes and a good head of grey hair. His hand shake was like a vice being clamped on my hand.