Chapter 7: A Secret Revealed

Tara and I made our way to the kitchen finding Dee, all smiles putzing with breakfast. She looked over and gestured for us to sit. With a grin, she poured two large mugs of coffee and set one in front of each of us.

"I was beginning to wonder if I needed to send out a rescue party," she laughed.

I looked at her and with a chuckle said, "We figured we better come down to assure you we hadn't eloped overnight."

"I knew better than that, but you two old folks may have needed a resuscitator. I don't want you dying on me!

Together as if rehearsed both Tara and I showered Dee with a raspberry, then looking at each other began to laugh that we had both coordinated the same thing without even trying.

After doing breakfast, Tara and I cleaned up since Dee had cooked for us. Dee sat at the table with her cup of coffee giving us our morning ration of shit for getting up so late.

When Tara and I were done, the three of us putzed around the house cleaning up a little. The house was always clean, but it did need a bit of picking up. I know it sounds like all we ever do is fuck, but we do have other things going on that keep us occupied.

A little later in the afternoon Dee approached me with the phone plastered against her ear and asked whether I had approved the sleepover that she had talked about a while ago.

"I guess I did Dee. You and your mom wanted to have some fun and I have no problems with that."

Into the phone Dee squealed, "He said yes."

When she saw my quizzical look she asked, "Tonight? Can we do it tonight Tommy?"

What the fuck had I gotten myself into this time? Holy shit, Julie and Heather in their skimpy little nighties...

Oh well, Dee would be here and so would Tara. I saw Tara shoot me an amused look. I think, like her daughter, she enjoyed putting me on the spot.

"I suppose Dee. It's pretty short notice, but it's your party."

Into the phone again, "He said it was ok for tonight. Just you and Julie ... Yeah, ok ... Bring what we talked about and let Julie know about it too. It's cool with me. Between four and four thirty would be cool. Okbye."

She came dancing over to me, threw her arms around my neck, and said, "Oh, thank you Thomas, We're goin' to have so much fun!"

I looked at Tara again to find that same amused look plastered on her face. I'm going to have to ask.

Dee went off to do whatever it was she was going to do, and I sat down next to Tara and just shook my head.

"Do you have any idea what you approved for tonight?" she asked me chuckling.

"Yeah, a pajama party with a couple of her friends. No big deal, they've done it before."

"Do you remember any of the conversation we had before you dragged me off to have your way?" she had a big grin on her face.

I looked at her, "Yeah. Heather is a lesbian and gives good head to women and Julie ... Oh shit."

"Uh huh, Keemosabe. I think you just volunteered yourself into some strange pussy for this evening."

My face obviously showed a bit of panic when I looked back to her because she just started laughing and hooting.

Dee cruised back into the room and asked Tara, "What's so funny mom?"

Tara looked at her with a grin and said, "Tom just figured out what he had told you was ok for tonight dear. After the sleepover conversation, I somehow think you have some ulterior plans."

Dee got that evil grin back on her face, which only confirmed what Tara suspected. Julie was going to be here fully expecting to get laid while Heather, Dee and Tara played in the other room. I couldn't believe this. I mean, Julie is a knock out, she's over 18, being made available by the woman I love AND her mother. I was sure Tara was somehow involved in the setup.

Dee sauntered over, sat down in my lap, kissed me quickly, and said, "Just go with the flow Tommy. What will be will be." She had a hard time not laughing knowing she'd pulled one over on me. I guess it could have been a whole lot worse. Heather is a walking wet dream too, but I guess she's totally gay.

"Just what is that supposed to mean Deanna?" I asked somewhat testily.

"It means that two of my friends are going to come over to spend the night. They've been here before Tommy."

"Yeah. I know, but when they've stayed overnight before it was before you had nothing on your mind but sex."

She put on a mock indignant look, and Tara just roared over on the other chair.

"Well, I never..."

"Yes you have, and now you apparently want someone new to be added to the list."

"Do you find that to be so abhorrent that you'll hide away?" she asked honestly.

"No Dee. That's not the fucking problem," I said a little more heated.

She got a huge grin on her face and leaned in to kiss me. "Oh come on Tommy, you know you look at her when she's here. Well tonight you'll be able to do more than just look."

"Dee, you're going to drive me to the loony bin. No, this is the fucking loony bin and I'm already here."

I guess there was nothing for me to do but play along with it. What else was I going to do? I wasn't going to rain on Dee's parade, but we're going to have to have a serious sit down and discuss this kind of thing and how awkward it makes me feel.

Tara knows the extreme shy side of me, but Dee's never really seen it. She's always seen me with women I know very well and with them I have all the confidence in the world. When it's someone like Julie, who I really don't know all that well, it's just weird to me and puts me in an awkward position.

"I'm going to go take a nap," I said totally exasperated. "It sounds like I'm going to need it."

"Can I come with you?" Dee asked mischievously.

I looked at her and smiled, "Dee if you come with me, I won't get much rest now will I? Do you want me to be all tuckered out for your friends?"

She gave me a very strange look. This is the first time since she's been sexually active that I've essentially told her no to a proposition. It had to make her wonder if her ruse had backfired or what.

I walked over and looked her square in the eyes before I leaned down and gave her a very loving kiss.

"Don't take it so personal Dee. It has nothing to do with you. I don't love you any less than I did this morning, yesterday or the day before, in fact I probably love you more. If I'm going to have to do what I think I'm going to have to do this evening, I'm going to need some rest!"

She smiled nervously and said sheepishly, "I'm sorry Tommy. I didn't mean to upset you."

It looked like she was getting ready to cry. "I'm not upset Dee. Julie is a knock out and I'm going to enjoy every bit of her if that's what's supposed to happen, but you have to understand that it is very awkward for me. It would be a whole lot easier if you had asked her over a few times and we all sat down and talked, played a board game, or done something so that I could know her a little better."

She looked kind of downtrodden which wasn't my purpose in the lecture. "Look Dee, I've told you about "meaningless sex" haven't I?"

She nodded her head but didn't break eye contact.

"Because I don't know her very well, it may be just that with her tonight. I guess it'll depend on how we approach things."

"I want you to love her Tommy, so that you can give her what you give to me."

"I hardly know her Dee, that's what I'm trying to tell you," I replied, not meaning for it to sound as heated as it obviously did.

After hearing my heated reply to Dee, Tara decided that it was time to bail me out, so she said to Dee softly, "Honey, you already know that Tom isn't like other men." Dee nodded. "He wants to have loving feelings towards a woman before he takes her to bed. He doesn't know Julie that well, and though it may be amusing to you on the surface, it makes him very uncomfortable. You may not know it, but Tom is an extremely shy man."

Dee scrunched up her nose and eyes and looked up at me totally shocked, "Really?"

I just nodded my head with a genuinely forlorn look.

"Yes Dee, Really. There are probably lots of things you don't know about Tom yet."

Tara looked at me for some level of approval because she was literally going to give Dee the "shock" treatment with one of the things I haven't mentioned to her and don't generally give to anyone.

Tara knows that side of me. She could see that my look was pained, but I nodded my head and whispered very softly, "Go ahead sweetie, she needs to know eventually. I'd hoped to keep it until she was a bit older and able to understand some of it a little better but you know her psyche better than I."

Dee looked between her mother and me with a gravely concerned look. "Do I really want to know this mom? Do I need to know?"

Tara simply nodded her head and pats the couch next to her so that Dee knew to sit next to her. "You may not want to know it, but sooner or later you do need to know honey. Tom is very protective of those he loves and if I hadn't experienced part of what I'm going to tell you, I'd have never known either."

I took the EZ chair across from them. I think some of this was going to be as stressful for me as it was going to be shocking to her. Shocking in that Dee's really not prepared for this level of reality yet. She has no idea about the level of participation I had with making sure her father couldn't hurt either of them. I have been working up to it slowly because sometimes it's a total shock to people. Tara's seen it; I hope Dee never does.

She looked directly into Dee's eyes and asked her point blank, "Honey, what do you know about the Navy SEALs?"

Dee looked at her, then to me, then back to her mother, "A little I guess. I know their training is very hard and that not many who try out make it."

I almost laughed at her term "try out". But didn't say anything or give any hint of emotion, THAT I was very good at.

Dee continued, "I know they are the ones that are called to do the most dangerous things the military does," she glanced nervously at me, "I'm sure they're pretty mean guys."

"Have you ever met a SEAL honey?"

"No. I don't think so, but I don't know about when I was really young."

Tara smiled and shook her head. "Honey, the Navy SEALs are the most highly trained 'commandos' our country has. They are the elite - the very best of the best. When something happens overseas that our government wants to deal with quietly but with an iron fist, they don't send in the Army to invade. They usually send in the SEAL's to do the job surgically."

"Surgically?" Dee asked. She didn't have any idea what that meant in this instance. She hadn't looked at me in a few minutes, paying close attention to what Tara was telling her.

"Surgically sweetie," Tara explained. "Like a surgeon only cuts what he needs to in order to get the bad parts out, teams like the SEAL's specialize in performing a pinpoint mission and getting out before anyone knows they've even been there. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. When it doesn't, things can be pretty ugly."

Tara waited a moment for that to sink in before continuing. "Honey, they are some of the nicest, most gentle, quietest, mellowest, soft spoken people you could ever know. They won't panic and duck for cover if something happens. They'll stand up and move towards whatever it is in an attempt to end an ugly situation."

"Do you know any mom?"

Tara looked at me, and seeing me she began to tear and said, "Yes I do sweetie, and so do you."

Dee looked at me and saw that I'd been quietly crying while Tara was talking. She jumped up and ran to me, throwing her arms around me, hugging me tightly trying to give me comfort. "Why are you crying Tommy? Did we say something bad?"

I looked at her and shook my head, whispering, "No baby, you didn't say anything bad." I reached around her to hold her tightly. She still hadn't really figured out what Tara was telling her yet.

For someone who was so perceptive and on top of things, there were times when Dee was totally clueless. She could over think things and totally miss the obvious.

Dee looked over at her mother who was sitting in the same spot with tears streaked down her face knowing how much she had "pained" me with her talk. It wasn't something that I was going to tell Dee unless I had to.

I'm not ashamed of my service. Quite the contrary, but I don't broadcast it. I don't flaunt it. I do everything I can to maintain a very low profile. All of us do, it is part of the spirit of the teams, but when the shit hits the fan, don't fuck with me.

I hadn't planned on Dee learning about that part of my past until she was a little older, if at all. She really didn't need to know. I wouldn't have lied to her if she'd have ever asked a pointed question, but one thing that's drilled into you is that "You only answer the question asked, you never volunteer information."

While watching her mother cry, then looking at me doing the same thing you could see the calculating, thinking Dee, coming to the surface while she tried to process what she'd just been told and what she was seeing.

I could see the light bulb getting a little brighter as the data was being processed. Dee was damned smart, so I didn't expect it to take that long for her to put two and two together. It didn't.

She looked at her mother and her eyes got big with surprise, "I know one?"

Tara nodded her head and looked me straight in the eyes. Dee saw it and the last puzzle piece fell into place.

"Oh my god," she said breathlessly. Her head snapped around to look me in the eyes and she said, "You?"

I just nodded while more tears started.

Her arms came around me and she whispered into my ear, "Don't cry Tommy. Please don't cry. It's ok. It'll be ok." She really didn't know how to respond to my emotions.

She pulled her head from the side and looked me in the eyes. I looked back with obvious pain in mine, "Dee I didn't want you to know about that kind of stuff for a few more years. You've only seen this side of me. You've never seen the other side and I hope you never do. You probably needed to know it exists though."

She looked at Tara and asked softly, "You've seen it haven't you mom?"

Tara looked up at us with an extremely pained expression, just nodded her head got up and ran out of the room sobbing loudly. Dee has no idea about the incident with her father. She'd been with relatives at the time, purposely!

Dee looked at me very confused. I just told her, "Go comfort your mom sweetie. We'll talk about it some other time."

She nodded and not breaking her eye contact for a few more moments followed her mother into the other room.

When Dee caught up with Tara she found her mother in the fetal position on the couch crying very heavily. She didn't know quite what to do, so she just put her arms around Tara and held her.

"Mama, what is it? What did I say? I'm so sorry; I never meant to hurt anyone."

Tara looked up at her daughter and seeing the concern and worry on her face, reached out to hold Dee.

"Oh Dee, you didn't hurt anyone, I did. I just hurt Tom very badly sweetie and I hope he'll forgive me some day."

"How did you hurt Tommy mom?"

Sitting up and beginning to compose herself, Tara looked into her daughter's eyes and said, "Tom is very private about his service Dee. He can't talk too much about it so I really don't know that much."