Chapter 16: Dee's Insecurity

Tara looked at Dee as I finished up my story to see how she'd react to "our meeting" and my having fucked her mother long before I ever met her.

It was apparent that Dee was deep in thought. I thought I sensed some fearful emotions in her, and asked, "What's wrong honey? Get it out on the table so we can all deal with it straight up."

She looked up at me and both Tara and I could see tears starting to form in her eyes, and she whispered, "Tommy, You obviously loved Marie very very much. Would you want to leave me for her if the opportunity came up?"

I looked at Tara and then at Dee and both Tara and I had shocked looks on our faces as I answered her, "No Dee, I couldn't do that. Yes, I still do love Marie very much honey, but like I belong to you, she belongs to Lisa."

"I have found my life's mate and she is you. I love your mother the same as I love Marie, perhaps even more if I was totally honest with myself, but you are my woman. There'll never be anyone for me except you."

Then added, "You seem like you're really insecure with all of that Dee, and there's really no reason for you to feel that way."

She looked at me a little sheepishly.

"If you're so damned insecure, how the hell can you allow me to bed your mother and friends?" I asked.

She broke down in sobs now and ran over to me and latched on and held very tight as I soothed her, and assured her that there was nothing going to affect my love for her and my total devotion to her. Yes. She was only 17 but I had made my choice and so had she, though hers was made at age 8, that first night she held my hand in the kitchen in front of her mother.

"I knew right then that I had a problem," Tara said wryly, looking at both of us.

Dee looked over at her questioningly.

"Honey. I've never regretted your love for Tom. I love him very much, but not the same way you do. You two have a devoted love that I'm not sure I'm capable of after your father."

"I don't think I'd say that Tara, you are an extremely passionate, loving woman, and I love you very much. I was chasing after you for 8 years before you gave me your daughter. Somehow you knew..." I let it trail off.

Tara looked at me with a loving grin and said, "Tom. I know you were chasing, but as much as I love you, it just didn't seem right. Now I know why.

I'm very happy to share you with my daughter. I'm honored that she feels secure enough in your relationship that she'll share you with me, though I sensed a bit of insecurity in her query about Marie," she looked at Deanna with that.

"I'm ok mom. I just suddenly had this empty feeling in the pit of my stomach that there is someone out there that loves Tommy very much, that he loves too, and she could perhaps waltz into his life again and he'd float away."

"No Dee. That wouldn't happen. I know both of them very well, and that just wouldn't happen. Just like Tom knew all along that Marie "belonged" to Lisa, Marie would understand that Tom has made a serious commitment to you."

"It doesn't mean that he wouldn't want to fuck her brains out again and that she wouldn't want to have her brains fucked out," Tara said with a chuckle. "But that's between you and her if it ever came to that. Honestly honey, you have nothing to fear from Marie. In fact I think you'd probably like her a lot and could become very good friends, probably Lisa too. She's a little tougher to 'reach', but you have the same kind of personality that Tom reached her with. I'd also bet you would love sleeping with Lisa!" Tara said chuckling.

I nodded my head in agreement because what Tara said was true. With Dee's knowledge and permission I would take Marie, and Lisa for that matter, to places they probably haven't been since I left almost 9 years ago. I am just as sure that Dee would also love them and love to make love to either. I doubted it would ever be an issue, but then Dee is always full of surprises.

Dee, now sitting in my lap, looked up at me, gave me a quick kiss and with deliberate thought said to me, "Tommy, if Marie ever comes back into your life and you'd want to have sex with her again, I think that would be ok with me, but I'd want to meet her first and maybe even participate since she's bi." The last part was being said as a grin grew on her face.

"Thank you Dee. I appreciate that trust, but I don't think Marie will come knocking at the door any time soon. She and Lisa apparently have a good life together and there's no reason upset the applecart."

"Tommy. Do you think that Lisa would ever want to have a repeat performance?"

"I don't know Dee. I think it would be the same as Marie. The three of us slept together for a very long time. We loved each other, but not anywhere close to the same way as you and I love each other. I don't think that's something that you ever have to worry about."

"Honey, I don't believe either will cause any issues with either you or Tom," Tara threw out. "I do think that you should consider inviting them to your wedding as well as Carol and Sheryl. I can find addresses for them if you decide you want to do that."

I looked at Tara and she back at me with a very smug look. Then she laughed out loud, she had known all along where the four of them are. I guess I shouldn't be all that surprised

"I'm not all fire sure, but I don't think that would cause any real problems with the two of you. I'd guess there would be the possibility that it could add some sexual adventures to your marriage, but again, that would be up to you and Tom to decide. I think that you would come to love them the same way that Tom and I do."

Again I nodded my head, gave Dee a quick squeeze, and kissed the top of her head.

Tara continued, "Honey, I think it's time we went up to bed and got some shut eye. How about you two? Agree?"

We looked at each other then at her mother, and I said, "Please join us tonight. Not for 'fun', just for closeness."

Tara smiled, and the three of us got up and walked up to the bedroom, undressed, climbed into the bed, hugged and kissed for a few minutes and promptly fell asleep in each other's arms.

I sure love this life. Two beautiful women in my bed, one of which will be my wife in a year or so, and her mother who will be leaving for her last business trip in a couple months and will be retired at age 32 when she comes back to take up her place in our home. Dee and I can't wait to have Tara around all the time.

I'm sure to some, our arrangement seems a bit strange, and perhaps by social standards it is, but it works for us and that's what really matters. I've never been constrained by social norms as you may already realize.

Dee and I are attached in more than just a physical and emotional love. Dee seems to have this power to see the future to a certain extent. She's had this way with her mother all along, but now she's reading me the same way.

Strangely enough, I'm beginning to read her in that way as well. Call it psychic abilities or whatever, it's an ability that I believe we all have as children. When we're told that it's impossible, or that it's not right or other negative crap that adults seem to need to lay on their children, it wears them down to a point they stop believing it themselves. Very sad!

It's mostly because of fear or adults don't understand or have a legitimate explanation for it and because of that, feel stupid. Well, if the shoe fits...

I've always had these kinds of "abilities" because I accepted them in my life. Nobody could tell me that what was happening wasn't real or convince me that I wasn't having the experiences. If the adults didn't want to believe it, fuck them!

There was a time that I hung out with a whole bunch of like people, which was quite an experience. Lisa, Marie, Carol and Sheryl were on the fringes of that group, but only because of their lifestyle.

Though their lifestyle was accepted within the group, I don't think the four of them were overly comfortable with being in a group of straight people. It's too bad they couldn't accept the group's unconditional lack of judgment. We all accepted people for who they were, not what they did in their bedrooms.

They were just 4 ladies in the group, nobody gave a shit if they were gay or not. Quite honestly, nobody cared because there was a higher plane to which they wanted to ascend. That whole group is a story unto itself.

When Dee first came to live with me, she was seeing things that were happening with her mom all the time. She knew when Tara was going to call to a point that she almost picked up the phone before it rang. I saw it happen all the time, and after I gave her permission to call Tara at any time she wanted for as long as she wanted it seemed to increase that clairvoyance.

I find it to be extremely fascinating to be back into that kind of atmosphere with Dee and Tara, especially with the strong love we all have. Dee and I were meant for each other; it's one of those relationships that would have happened no matter where we had been located. It's also interesting that we were introduced while she was so young, and those depths of love were never diminished in her. Chasing her mother kept me close and I think somehow that was also meant to be.