I'm lying here in my bed wondering about everything that has happened in my life in the past couple month's or so. I'm thirty seven years old and have been happily married for the past thirteen years. At least I was until Dan, my husband, decided to do something stupid while at an out of town sales convention.
Let me explain how I found out. It was either by accident, or it was planted by a competitor in the same line of sales as Dan. It was on Sunday morning after he'd returned from the convention. I was getting his things ready to drop off at the dry cleaners on my way to work Monday morning. I was going through the pockets of his suit coat when I found the black thong and a picture of Dan and a red head who looked young enough to be his daughter, wearing the black thong and matching Brassiere, lip locked together.
My first thought was, that dirty son of a bitch cheated on me, I'll get right to the bottom of this shit, we've always had a pretty liberal marriage as far as flirting, kidding around and having good times among friends, but we do not have an open marriage, nor have we ever discussed having an open marriage. After seeing the picture and the thong, I guessed Dan had changed the rules without letting me in on it. Well, we would see about getting this straightened out.
After I thought about it for awhile the anger subsided and sadness took it's place. I began to wonder if this was the first and only time, or had it been going on for some time. I wondered if somehow I had been letting him down in bed. I'd been working a lot, but had never refused to have sex with him. I enjoyed having sex every bit as much as Dan, maybe even more so, but I never pressured him for more. I know after traveling he's tired when he gets back home, but now I wondered if the reason he wasn't quite up to par sometimes, was because someone else had taken my place. As these thoughts filled my head tears began to fall.
Dan returned in mid afternoon from his Sunday golf game, jubilant about having won and took me in his arms to kiss me when he saw I'd been crying. "Whats wrong? Whats happened Ava? Did something bad happen?"
I choked back more tears and said. "I'm not sure Dan, I'm going to ask you a question and please don't lie to me."
"I've never lied to you Ava, you know that."
"Dan, have you ever cheated on me?"
"What? Of course not, what the hell ever made you ask a question like that?"
The sadness I felt was quickly replaced by the anger I'd first felt. "Are you sure Dan, think real hard, maybe you're forgetting something, because if you're lying to me, I want you to move out of the house until you decide to tell me the truth"
"What the hell are you talking about Ava, I haven't done a damn thing, and I'm not moving anywhere."
"Well Dan, then I'll leave until you decide to tell me the truth. If you decide not to tell me within thirty days, I'll file for a divorce. Which will it be Dan?"
"Ava, my god, I swear I've never cheated on you. I have no idea where you got this idea. If this is something you've heard it's a damn lie. All I know is I'm telling you the truth."
"Dan, if you come clean right now, I'll do my best to get by this, but if you wait and let me stew about it, I may not be able to forgive you."
"I'm not telling you anything, because I've not done anything."
He left the kitchen going towards the living room. "Then I'll get what things I need and leave, that way you'll have plenty of time to think about it."
"Ava don't do this to us, I mean it, don't move out on me."
I'll get a room until you decide what you want to do. If you haven't decided in thirty days, I'll be moving out for good. I left him sitting in the living room and went to our bedroom, gathered up the things I would need and left. I found a room in a motel, that had weekly rates and moved in that evening. Dan tried calling several times, leaving messages for me to come home.
The next day he called me repeatedly at work, but I told my secretary to tell him I wasn't in, or she was to hold all of my calls. It was four days later on Thursday that I finally took his call, He started by telling me to stop this stupidity and come back home.
I countered by asking if he was ready to tell me what happened. Once again he insisted he'd never done anything wrong. I countered with. "I'll give you a hint at what I'm talking about, it happened at the convention you just returned from, does that ring a bell?"
I heard what sounded like a choke or a gasp. Then Dan said, "can you come home and we talk about it? I promise I'll tell you everything I know."
"Okay Dan, I'll come home Saturday morning, I've paid for my room for a week so might as well use it, that will give you plenty of time to remember everything that happened in Chicago.
He mumbled goodbye and hung up, leaving me to think about what I was going to do. I knew what I would do if he lied to me, but I hadn't really given much thought to what I would do if he told me everything. Now I had to consider what and how I would handle hearing my husband of thirteen years, admit he'd been with another woman. I felt I could forgive him If it was only the one time, but if it's been an ongoing thing, there's know way I could get by, having been deceived many times.
Friday after work I stopped with some of the girls from the office, had a couple of drinks danced a few times and went to my room, not wanting to be hung over when I went to talk with Dan. The next morning I called Dan and told him I would be there as soon as I'd had breakfast. I arrived about two hours later. Dan seemed nervous as he hugged me and said he was glad to see me. I sat down at the kitchen table as he brought us both a cup of coffee. As soon as he was seated I said, "you can start anytime Dan, but please do not try to lie to me, I know more than you think and if you do, I'll walk out and file for divorce."
I'll tell you what I can remember Ava. It was the night the convention ended. We were all at the convention room where they put on the party. The people most interested in what I was selling, introduced me to this woman, saying she was a member of the finance board and had a say in what was purchased and from whom, I decided she was someone I should get to know.
We were introduced and were soon having a nice time, a few drinks and then dancing, which soon became very close dancing. We began kissing, I knew it was wrong, but thought as long as nobody knew about it, what harm would there be. But I guess I was wrong someone must have been watching, or she told someone who ultimately told you.
How could you not notice how young she was and wonder how she could hold such an important position in the company? You must have had a lot more to drink than a few, you normally know whats going on even when your pretty well smashed."
I know it sounds like a lie, but I only had a few and don't remember a whole lot, maybe someone slipped something in my drinks while we danced, I'm just not sure.
"Is that all that happened Dan? You danced, held her close and kissed her."
"Yes, that's pretty much it."
"Well Dan, answer me honestly, do you think a man in that shape could have sex and not know it, or even be able to have sex in that condition?"
"Honestly I don't know, probably not."
I dug into my purse and produced the picture of him kissing the woman and laid it on the table in front of him. Looking at it, then smiling he said, this is your proof of me cheating, kissing a woman one time, for gods sake Ava, you threw a fit over seeing this?"
I threw the black lace thong on the table in front of him. "No Dan, this is what I threw the fit over, it was in your suit coat pocket, would you care to explain how you got her thong off and was able to restrain yourself from having sex with her, or were you to drunk to remember? Before you answer Dan, remember what I said about lying to me.
He sat staring at the thong laying on the table, then without looking up at me said, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, but she was so young and came on to me so strong, I couldn't stop once we started dancing and I'd held her in my arms. It was just so different than holding you all these past years. I let my feelings get out of hand. I didn't think you would ever find out and I want you to know I never meant to hurt you.
I sat looking at him then said. "What are we going to have to do to get by this and try to get back to the way we were, if that's possible. If I was the one who had an affair, what would you suggest we do to try to get by this Dan?"
He finally raised his head to look at me then said." I'm not sure, since I don't feel the pain you're feeling. Maybe you should get a free, one time get even pass, to use anytime you chose."
I sat looking at Dan until he had to look away. "Is that what you're offering me Dan? A free pass to go get laid, if and when I should see someone I'd like to have sex with?"
"I don't want you to Ava, but I guess if it will help you get through this crisis then that"s what I suggest we do.
This offer came as quite a surprise to me, one I hadn't even thought of. I had no intention of having sex with anyone other than my husband, but he didn't have to know that and since I traveled in my job, he would have this hanging over his head, wondering if this is the trip I would meet someone, have sex and when I got home, tell him we are now even.
"Okay Dan, I'll accept your free pass to have sex with whomever I choose, you are not to get angry or cause any trouble if you see me pursuing someone. I will say this, it will never be with anyone we know and when it's done, it's done and if you ever do it again and I find out, there will be no forgiveness, Do you agree with all of the terms.
"I ... I guess so Ava, I just didn't have any idea you would go for such an agreement. I had no idea you might be willing to have sex with another man. It almost seemed like you were waiting for me to make the offer so it wouldn't be on your head if something went wrong."
"Look Dan, if that's what you think, we can call it off, but if we do, I may go do it anyway and I may do it more than once, if we don't have an agreement I have to live up to why worry about breaking the rules.
"If I'd known you would accept the offer so readily I wouldn't have." He stopped short.
"What Dan, you wouldn't have made the offer?"
"I guess so, I hate thinking about you being in bed with someone else."
"Well Dan, that gives you a little bit of an idea how I felt, when I found out you'd been in bed with some other woman. I may never use my free pass, but it's good forever and you never know, I may meet someone I'd really like to go to bed with and go ahead and use it."
I left shortly after that. I went back to the motel and gathered up my things and moved back in with Dan, Things were a little cool but we talked about it and soon things were almost back to normal, except for having sex, I wasn't ready for that. It had only been a couple of weeks and I couldn't get the picture of them kissing and imagining them in bed. I knew I was going to have to get this out of my head and asked Dan to give me a little time to work this out. It was another week or so before I gave in and we had sex. I don't know what it was but it just didn't seem the same. I laid there while Dan plunged his cock into me harder and faster than he had ever done in our thirteen years of marriage. I think he was trying to show me he was all the man I would ever need. It only lasted a few minutes until he groaned, oh fuck I'm cumming. I gasped wrapping him tighter in my arms thrusting my pussy onto his cock, "yes, yes, cum in me."
He emptied himself into me, then rolled off to the side saying, "oh my god baby, that was the best ever."
I wanted to say even better than that young bitch you fucked in Chicago? But I said, "you were a wild man tonight, I needed it like that." What I didn't tell him was, I needed to get the picture of him and her fucking out of my mind, before I'd ever be able to have another orgasm.
About a month later we were sitting watching TV when the phone rang, I jumped up and answered it. My good friend and neighbor Julie said her and her husband Dale along with Sherry and her husband Paul, were planning on going out to the bars dancing Saturday night and asked if we would like to go along. Happy for the opportunity to be able to get out for a change, I quickly answered, "yes we would love to go along, okay, around nine would be great, thanks Julie, see you then.
I hung up the phone and went back to sit with Dan. He said what did she want? I hope not a night out at the country club, because if she did were not going."
I looked at him somewhat in shock. Dan had always liked going to the club for a night out. Now that I thought about it, he hadn't mentioned going out there since the incident in Chicago, was there someone out there he didn't want me to talk to?
"No, she invited us to go bar dancing with her, Dale, Sherry and Paul. I think it would be nice to get out and have some fun for a change, we haven't been out for quite awhile."
"Well were not going, I don't like going to the bars they go to."
"I told her we were going, if you don't want to go fine, stay here and watch TV, but I'm going along with them, whether you go or not, I'm tired of working and coming home and sitting and watching TV."
We were busy getting ready to go out when Julie called saying there had been an emergency in the family and they weren't going to be able to make it. Dan right away quit getting ready to go, but I kept right on dressing. When I walked into the family room where Dan was sitting, wearing what Dan considered a mini skirt, stockings, four inch heels and a low cut blouse, he said what are you doing? I thought we weren't going out."
I didn't say we weren't going out, Julie said they weren't able to go, But if you don't want to go fine, but I'm going out for awhile."
Dan went back to the bedroom and finished dressing. He was pissed off and sulked around hardly speaking to me, right up until we got to the bar where we had planned on meeting our friends. We'd gotten there a little early and were able to get a table across the dance floor from the bar.
We'd been there a couple of hours and I'd had enough to drink so I was feeling pretty happy. Dan was uptight all evening, my guess was he didn't want to be there, but didn't want me to be there alone. I'm sure he was thinking about my having a free pass to use anytime I chose.
I finally got Dan up to dance and we were into the second dance when I looked over Dan, s shoulder and saw a very tall, young, good looking black man looking back at me. As we made eye contact he smiled and I smiled back. We continued our eye contact until Dan turned us around so my back was towards the bar. Knowing he might still be watching, I gave my hips a little more action than I had been. Just as the song was about to end, Dan turned us so once again I was facing the bar, as soon as I looked towards the bar I made eye contact with the young man again. I'm not sure if Dan saw where my eyes were focused or not, but he turned towards the bar just as the young black man tilted his glass towards me. I wondered if he was thanking me for the added hip action, or making a gesture of saying, see you later.
We went back to our table and I asked Dan to keep an eye on my purse while I went to the ladies room. As I was coming out of the ladies room I almost ran headlong into the young black man, As we passed, he smiled saying, "nice moves out there."
Without stopping I said, "ask me to dance.
'I Barely had time to finish my drink when the young man came to the table. "Would you mind if I had the next dance with your lady?" he asked Dan.
Before Dan could answer I said, "I'd love to, my husband just got through telling me he needed a break." I got up and led the young man to the dance floor. The first dance was a fairly fast dance, followed by a slow dance. As the slow dance started, I moved into his arms pressing my breasts almost flat against his chest, he returned the gesture by he pressing a rather large bulge against my lower tummy. I sneaked a peek at Dan and saw he was watching everything that was going on and I could tell by the look on his face, he didn't like what he saw. I knew Dan would have something to say about dancing so close, especially with a black man.
I was right, when the dance ended and I went back to my table Dan said,"Damn it Ava, I had no idea you might want to be with a black man, what the hell are you thinking anyway?"
"Did I say I wanted a black man? No I didn't say that, all I did was return his smile and he came and asked me to dance."
"Don't push it Ava, that's all I'm telling you."
The music began and I asked Dan to dance with me, I'm tired Ava my feet hurt and I'm ready to go home, it's almost midnight."
Well I'm not ready to go yet, I want to dance. I finished my drink got up and walking towards the bar I crooked my finger at the young black man in a come here gesture. We met in the middle of the floor and began dancing. The dance was just ending when we turned sideways to where Dan was and I kissed his cheek as the music stopped, then went back to the table before Dan could say anything I said, "he's the one."
Dan's face turned a sullen gray when he said, "what do you mean he's the one?"
"He's the one I want to use my free pass with, he's young, I'd say about the same age as your slut lover was. So we should be even in the morning."
"In the morning, what do you mean Ava?"
It means you can go on home now, Garland said he would bring me home in the morning.
"Ava please don't do it with him. I've heard things about white married women and black men and."
"You go home Dan, I'll be okay, he seems real nice, We'll talk when I get home." I gathered up my purse and went to the bar where I met Garland. We left the bar heading to Garland's car. As we left the parking lot he gunned it out into the inside lane and we shot down the street like a rocket, the little sports car being very fast, was able to lose anyone attempting to follow us. We went about six blocks then turned a quick left another three blocks then another left two blocks farther, then a right turn and about a mile down that street we pulled up in front of an apartment building, Garland said, "well This is it."
We got out and went into the apartment, once inside Garland asked if I cared for a drink. "Maybe, but make it light okay, I've had quite a few already. I was already slurring my words from the drinks I'd had at the bar.
"No problem," he fixed us both a drink, we touched glasses and took a sip. Ava is your husband going to be okay? He didn't look so good when we left the bar, are you sure he's okay with this?"
"I told you what happened and the agreement we'd made when I first asked you to do this."
Garland put his arms around me and holding me against him said, "are you sure that's all you want?"
"Oh God Garland, right now I want you more than anything in the world. But if I do, I know what would happen, I think about it all the time. It was a long time ago, but I still think about it. I was a freshman in high school, my best friend was a black girl who lived about two blocks from me. I went to her house one day to hang out and play music with her, she wasn't home, but her older brother was. He asked me if I'd like to come in and listen to music with him. We were on his bed listening to music when he lit a joint, took a couple of drags, then handed it to me. I'd never smoked pot before, but I didn't want him to think I wasn't hip enough to hang out with him, so I took a couple of drags. Well, I think you can guess what happened after that. I was a virgin when I got to there house, but I sure wasn't when I left.
It was a couple of weeks later that I went back, I knew my friend wasn't going to be there but I wasn't going, to see her anyway. Her brother who was eighteen at the time was full grown and took some getting used to, but the more we done it the better I liked it. This went on for over a year. Every chance I got I went to see him. Then he joined the army and I never saw him again. I started dating white boys in high school and collage. I met Dan, got married and here I am. I took my hand and rubbed it over the huge hard bulge in his pants. I'm sorry Garland, Id really love to have this, but I can't. I know what would happen if I were to ever light those fires again, I'd never be satisfied with anything else. I love my husband and if he hadn't of fucked up with that redheaded slut, I wouldn't be here tonight.
"Damn baby, you better take your hand off the throttle, or were going to be going places and doing things you won't ever get over."
Giggling I said, "god I bet that would be some ride. But I will thank you for helping me tonight. I put my hand behind his head pulling him down until our lips came together and kissed him until I knew I'd better stop, or it would be all over but the fucking. As our lips parted I said, you're a real friend Garland and if Dan and I don't make it through this, I'll be knocking on your door for sure."
He stood looking down at me, "Damn baby, I've wanted to do that since the first day we met. I've wanted you so bad Ava, I've had dreams of you. When you first started talking to me about this and what you had in mind, I thought for sure I was finally going to get some of that sweet pussy."
"Ha, Not tonight Garland, but if Dan and I don't make it, It's yours."