Chapter 5: The Happy Return

On our return to England I soon got into the routine of instructional duty, and with my weekends free Miriam would often come down to Warminster. Together we explored the countryside, two London sparrows that discovered al fresco loving, in a field of sweet smelling clover, or up against a warm weathered outbuilding wall, or in a copse with birds singing and the smell of bluebells, added extra pleasure to an activity that was already almost too exquisite to bear.

Miriam and I spent our eighth wedding anniversary in a small country hotel near Shaftesbury. As we came down for dinner who should be sat at the bar but Sergeant Toby Belcher, together with a very beautiful, very young, very black, girl. I knew that Toby's wife, Gwen, was a hard faced blonde who worked as a dentist's receptionist in Aldershot; on the other hand Toby had thought that Pippa was my wife, so when I introduced Miriam to him his puzzlement showed. Luckily, the two girls decided to visit the Ladies, so I could then fill Toby in on my situation. I explained that Miriam had never joined me on camp, and that had led to a sort of separation, but that we were now back as a couple.

"My word Dewey, you certainly can pick them. Your Aldershot 'wife' was tasty, but your real wife is a stunner!"

Toby Belcher had me to thank for saving his arse over the Christmas when he had been the worse for wear with drink. It would have meant dismissal from the army if he had been found drunk on duty, and he owed me, and the lads on guard with me, a great deal.

"Jenny's a nurse at Swindon General. I met her when one of the platoon had to be taken to Accident and Emergency after getting heat stroke on a speed march. I fell in love with her at first sight--how's that for a cliche?" He looked at me and continued,

"I know this won't go any further?"

I nodded and he resumed.

"Gwen and I hadn't been getting on for some time. She'd been shagging her boss for over a year, which came as a complete shock to me when I found out. As I was going to be on duty over Christmas I thought I'd surprise her and take her out for a meal, on the day before Christmas Eve. I went round to the surgery to pick her up from her work."

He shook his head as if getting rid of a bad memory.

"It was a bloody surprise all right! I walked in on them having it off in the dentist's chair. Silly buggers hadn't even locked the surgery door, they were so eager to get shagging!"

Toby looked into his glass of beer reflectively.

"I gave the dentist a smack in the teeth that will have have cost him an arm and a leg to repair."

He drank his pint, and then ordered two more.

"I could have been kicked out of the army for being drunk, I was bloody lucky that it was you on duty, I'll never be able to thank you enough for what you did."