NSA File 77014392

Incident Report

Mikaela Barnes

Clearance level 9 Eyes Only

I guess I should start this out by explaining that most of what you're about to read, you won't believe. I've helped to save your life at least twice at this point. The first time was about four years ago, just as I was graduating high school. I had just turned 18 years old and thought I knew everything. The second time was only a few months after that when my then boyfriend and the love of my life, Sam, had started college. Sam was eighteen then also and thought he knew it all too.

Sam has a truly strange relationship with the refugees from a planet called Cybertron. These advanced and intelligent mechanical beings have a connection with Sam that goes far beyond their normal relationships with the people on this planet.

Probably the first thing that's going through your mind right now is skepticism. You're thinking that if there was alien life on the planet our government would know about it. Well, there is and they do. So now you're thinking that you should have heard about it, right? You're thinking about the Freedom of information act and the government's responsibility to inform citizens of the things they're engaged in.

In order for the FOIA to come into effect, you have to go looking for the info, find it and request that it be unclassified. And the government actually does inform you of these things. They just have a very slick way of doing it so it doesn't alarm the little people down on the farms and in the suburbs, but they do tell you.

The way they do it is they get one of those hotshot Hollywood types to make a "Movie" about something seemingly fantastic that actually did happen. In a lot of cases these "Movies" are so farfetched that it's very easy for people to believe that they're Sci-Fi.

That automatically means that only a handful of geeks and nerds who we all think are crazy anyway will go to see them. While these "Special" individuals clean their giant thick glasses and put their calculators back inside their pocket protectors long enough to wonder whether or not trucks and cars that transform into robots actually exist, we just look at them and smile. After all these are the same guys who spend their time trying to learn to speak Klingon and dress up funny for comic-book conventions. Most of these same guys know every girder, beam, nut, bolt and circuit that went into the building of the Starship Enterprise, but couldn't unsap a bra to save their lives.

Anyway, the beginning of our romance was detailed in a "Movie" called "Transformers". Surprisingly the movie got a lot of stuff right. I guess our government didn't want to knowingly lie about it. But there are things that really were downplayed in that movie. Like the differences between Sam and me.

Sam really is the All-American, boy next door type. He is born and bred to be successful and a hero and have sunshine and rainbows streaming out of his ass and all of that stuff. Me on the other hand, not so much. I'm the girl from the wrong side of the tracks who started out with a bad example and things just went down-hill from there.

My childhood memories include stealing cars with my dad, stripping stolen cars with my dad and a bunch of other things that I had to sometimes do just to survive. One thing I've never had a problem with is men. Don't get things twisted here, I'm not exactly beautiful. I'm just hot, in a trailer trash type of way. If you really look at me closely, you can see how bad my skin is and how ratty my hair is. But I wear my skirts short enough and my tops tight enough that no one really notices it.

Anyway that first movie details how I met Sam, and how we met the Autobots and the Decepticons. It also told about how Sam and Bumblebee forged their relationship. The second "Movie" went even deeper. "Revenge of the Fallen" told how Sam really became bonded with Optimus Prime, the Autobots' leader. Sam actually saved Optimus Prime's life. Prime then went on to save the world from total destruction. I was along for the ride again. The thing the second "Movie" also shows but again in a downplayed role, is the stress that was already on my relationship with Sam and how we were just going in different directions, or at least at different speeds.

Sam of course headed off to college and me stuck here at home waiting by the phone for him to call me while I babysat my jailbird father, who was only let out of jail in the first place because Sam and I helped save the world the first time.

Even if I wasn't watching my dad, I had neither the money nor the grades for a big college. That was Sam's goal, not mine. So things were kind of interesting between us anyway. I truly believe that if it hadn't been for the need for us to save the world again my relationship with Sam would have died anyway. And it would have died not with a bang, but with a whimper. Something truly special would have become cheap and tawdry. I can see Sam being attracted to some of the girls at his school and them with him, much like the way that Decepticon bitch Alice tried to have her way with him in his dorm.

Of course I'm not going to try and tell you that I'd have been sitting home knitting either. Guys hit on me every day and if Sam wasn't here taking care of business, eventually I'd have fallen for someone else too. But we had a bigger problem.

That whole fame thing was really causing problems for us. I realized that like a lot of great high school romances, Sam and I were just not ready for the long haul yet. We needed to separate for a while so we could each grow and maybe a few years down the line when we were ready for a truly adult commitment, come back together.

The problem is that Sam is so cute and so noble that I couldn't just dump him, even when it was for his own good. After the events of the second "Movie" Sam was such a hero that breaking up with him would have been considered treason.

After all, not every girl has a hero who was supposed to receive a medal from the President of the United States as a boyfriend. There was also the fact that Sam wanted to go into the whole intelligence thing. He wanted to work with the Autobots and the government to secure our freedom and protect us from threats. Sam himself was squeaky clean, as were his parents. But trying to get into the world of secrets with a girlfriend with a criminal record, from a family of criminals, was like trying to swim with a boulder chained to your neck. So I had to break up with Sam, not only for the good of our relationship, long term, but to prevent me from interfering with Sam's dreams.

The government rewarded both Sam and me after the events of the second "Movie". Sam got a medal from the president, and they paid a ridiculous amount of money for his education at a fancy college, including tuition and room and board.

In my case I just got a bunch of money that I wasn't sure what I'd do with at that point. We had to attend a bunch of dinners and ceremonies all over Washington DC where we were honored. Sam ate it up. He was great at charming the politicians and the military types as well. I just didn't take to it. I always felt awkward and out of place.

There was also the fact that the clothes I had to wear didn't suit me and I didn't know how to act. I guess I'm kind of like those guys who just never wear a suit and tie because they don't feel comfortable in them. I feel the same way about formal dresses and fancy dinners. I'm just a shorts and pizza type of girl.

I guess in some of those situations I was an embarrassment to Sam, but he never let it show. "I love you Mikaela, fuck them," was how he usually put it. And I love Sam too, far too much to hold him back, so I had to do something to set him free before I messed up his career.

The problem was that I love Sam too much to ever dump him. Forget about the way he says it in the new "Movie", I did not dump Sam. Actually I'm still hurt about the way it happened. Because things did not go as they were supposed to. What you hear Sam saying in the "Movie" is just his wounded pride and his male ego talking.

The way it happened was like this. Once I decided that Sam and I needed to take a break, for the reasons I've already mentioned, I needed to find a way to make it happen.

While Sam was taking Bumblebee for some kind of military demo or something that I really had no interest in, I ran into my ex, Trent. You probably remember him from the first movie. He was a real arrogant dickhead who drove a Hummer that his parents bought him and wouldn't let me drive it.

Anyway I decided that he'd be perfect for helping me play a little deception on Sam, especially since Sam still had just a touch of an inferiority complex when it came to those bigger, stronger guys from high school. Realistically Sam is a much better, stronger person than all of those guys. He's saved the world at least twice for God's sake. But he never got over his jealousy of those football players. Even though most of them washed out and weren't good enough to play college ball and not even one of them made it to the pros.

Trent washes dishes in a local diner as a matter of fact. He got stuck and had to marry some cheerleader that he got pregnant after he and I broke up. His parents decided he needed to do something on his own, so they let him dangle. His life is a living hell and Sam gets to go all over the world doing cool shit.

I got Trent to agree to a bit of play acting to make Sam angry with me. So about a week before Sam was supposed to go to DC to receive his medal, I sprung my trap. Sam usually came by the garage a little bit after it closed each night to pick me up. Sam was usually so regular I could set my clock by him. We usually just drove Bumblebee out into the country and hung out, like at the end of the second "Movie".

So at just after six I left the door to the garage cracked and started pretending to make out with Trent. Things had never gone very far between Trent and I before I dumped him so this was our first time together and it was supposed to be fake because Sam would be showing up any moment.

Trent started kissing me and feeling me up. I told him to stop and wait until Sam got there. He reminded me that we wanted it to look real and to convince Sam we might need to show some skin to really sell it.

So he kept kissing me and he opened my shirt. Let's face it my boobs really aren't spectacular so what was the harm. He started kissing them and I got ready to stop him but he said he'd heard something. It might be Sam. So I got into it so we could sell the act. He kept kissing me and he started sucking on my nipples. Every time I objected he heard something. Then I thought I heard something too.

I'm a healthy young girl and all of that activity did get me started. Trent started rubbing his fingers against my pussy through my panties. He told me not to worry when I protested. He reminded me that he was married. I guess in my mind, I really thought that he wouldn't do anything wrong.

A few minutes later I actually heard something outside, so when he pulled my panties down I couldn't afford to object. His fingers felt really good too. The stupid thing was that in my mind I was remembering Sam doing that same thing to me less than twenty-four hours prior.

Then one of the fingers went inside me. I was wet and ready and that finger made me want more. I had mentally checked out. My hormones were in control. The next thing I knew Trent had replaced his fingers with his dick. He slammed it home in one stroke and it really fucking hurt. I'm not the biggest girl out there so I screamed, because again, it really fucking hurt.

Trent was smiling and nodded his head off to the side. I was on the verge of slapping the cowboy shit out of him and making him get off of me when I noticed what he was looking at.

Sam was standing in the open doorway. His face was frozen with a surprised look on it. His mouth was open but no words would come. The boy who was used to making split second decisions that the fate of the world rested on couldn't think of a word to say. My heart went out to him, and I died a bit that day, but it was for the best.

"Fuck me Trent," I screamed pulling him into me again.

Trent pushed me down on the couch and started slamming me. He fucked me so hard that he bruised my vagina. I wanted to cry over both the physical pain his slamming me caused me and the emotional pain it was causing the man I love. "Oh yeah baby, just like that," I cried. "Don't ever stop fucking me Trent."

"Whose pussy is this, slut," he asked.

"It's yours, baby," I yelled. "It always was and it always will be."

"What about Sam Wetwilly?" he asked.

"Sam who?" I said. "You're the only one who matters. Make me yours. Cum in me. Fill me up."

Just then we heard the door slam so loud it nearly came off of its hinges.

The slamming of the door ended the act. I screamed again and the fire in my eyes should have warned Trent, but he always was a little bit stuck on himself.

"You weren't supposed to actually fuck me," I yelled pushing him away from me in disgust.

"Come on baby let me finish," he said. "That tight little pussy feels so good."

"Okay, baby come and get what's yours," I cooed. As Trent smiled and came over to me I kneed him in his engorged penis as hard as I could. Then I stood over him watching as he deflated like a balloon with a hole in it into a gibbering mess at my feet.

"Look at me Trent," I yelled grabbing his face. "Sam is at least ten times the man you'll ever be."

He just stared at me, the pain in his nuts rendering him unable to participate in the conversation. But I knew the pain he was feeling right now would eventually go away. I wanted to give him something to take home to his wife. So I raked my fingernails across his face and then across his chest. Then I went down his leg close to where his hands were holding his aching dick.

His wife couldn't miss those scratches and from their locations she'd at least know that he was nearly naked with someone.

"Get the fuck out of my garage," I screamed at him.

He limped, bleeding and angry towards the door. "I don't know why you're so pissed," he whimpered. "You got what you wanted; Sam WhoSnacky won't want to have anything to do with you."

"We were only supposed to make him angry enough to dump me, asshole. Not angry enough to make him want me out of his life forever. There's a good chance that I'll never get him back now."

"If you wanted to get him back, why'd you do this in the first place?" he asked. "What is so God Damned special about Sam Wetsucky?"

"I love him stupid?" I snapped. "And Sam is way more special than either one of us. He's going to go places in his life and do great things. But until he gets started and established in his life, I can only hold him back and limit his opportunities. So as much as I love him and he loves me, I needed to push him away from me for a little while."

He just held onto his now throbbing nuts and looked at me like I was crazy.

"Ah, I never liked Wimpnutsy anyway," he sneered. "If he's so great how come he didn't play football?"

"Listen dumbass," I told him. "You never paid Sam any attention until he took me away from you. And if playing football makes you great, why the fuck is Sam getting a medal from the president next week and you'll still be washing dishes? Why did Sam end up with me and you have that fat girl?"

"You got one thing wrong babe," he smirked. "You ain't gonna end up with Sam now."

I got so pissed that I kicked him in the nuts again. Then I pushed him outside of the garage while I packed. I climbed the stairs to the apartment over the garage that I was using. The place was a wreck though I'd just cleaned it that morning. The TV was on and so was the radio, the stereo and every other electronic device in the small space. Over in the corner with the window wide open, Wheelie lounged on a pillow. He was allowing the setting sun to recharge his solar array while he lubricated himself with oil he'd stolen from the garage.

"What's eating you doll?" he asked.

"Wheelie, you need to go to Sam, I'm leaving," I told him. He looked shocked.

He jumped up from the chair and started transforming into a number of small items that would easily fit into a suitcase.

"It's not going to work, Wheelie," I said, barely able to keep the tears from coming. "I don't know where I'm going but Sam is going to need all of his friends." He slowly nodded at me and didn't say anything.

I emailed Sam a note. I set my email account to send the note in three days. That would give me a chance to get away. I wrote an email to Sam's mom as well. In the letter to his mom I thanked her for always being nice to me. I explained what I was doing to Sam to her and why it was necessary and begged her not to ever tell him. I told her that I hoped someday when we were both older that Sam would understand and forgive me because I really loved him. I told her that a little bit of heartache now was better for him in the long run, than years of frustration and finally hating me for preventing his dreams from coming true.

Then lastly I wrote a note on paper to my dad. I couldn't email him because he sucked with computers and would probably never find it. I left it on his coffee cup which was the first thing he grabbed when he came into the garage every morning.

I told him that I loved him, but that I had to go. It was finally time for him to stand on his own two feet and do the right things in life. Not because it was the easy thing to do but because it would keep him out of jail, prove he was finally a grown up and keep his daughter's love and respect. I told him that I'd be back in a while so to keep the home fires burning. And that if he was involved in anything under the table when I did get back, I'd turn him in myself.