Chapter 4

About a month after Sarah kicked me to the curb I was sitting in a booth at the Denny's at Fourth and Hamilton when Gloria walked up and asked if I was alone and when I said that I was she asked if she could join me.

I told her to take a seat and we talked. I found out that she was home for a week because of a death in her family and when she asked where my girlfriend was I told her that Sarah and I had split. I asked her how her love life was going and she told me that she didn't have a steady boyfriend and then she asked if I still had my apartment. I told her that I did and she said:

"Then why are we sitting here wasting our time talking?"

"I can't think of one good reason for it" I said and we both stood up to go and Gloria followed me home.

It was a Friday night so I didn't have to work the next day and Gloria and I stayed in bed until almost ten and then I got up and fixed us breakfast. Gloria had nothing that she needed to do before returning to school Sunday afternoon so we spent the weekend together. We went to a couple of movies, ate in and screwed like sex crazed rabbits. When she left for school she told me that she would be back the next weekend and to keep it open for her. Unfortunately I had to tell her that it was my Guard weekend.

"Well from now on I want all your weekends that aren't claimed by the Guard."

Why not I thought. I could keep myself busy through the week with school and bowling and it would be nice to have my weekends covered and not have to sweat finding a date. If Gloria did come back every weekend. I hadn't forgotten her previous promises. I'd just have to wait and see.

She did come home and so it was that all my weekends except my Guard weekends were taken up by Gloria. It was inevitable that on some of those weekends Gloria and I would end up some place where Allison also was and I sure that Allison was confused by suddenly seeing me with Gloria instead of Sarah or at least she was until she found out from her mother who would have been told by my mother that Sarah and I had broken up.

I was eating lunch in the employee cafeteria on Friday and Russ came over to my table and sat down with me. He asked how I was doing and how my new job was going and then he asked:

"What happened between you and Sarah? One minute everything was going fine and the next minute it wasn't."

I would have bet my next years wages that neither Sarah or Vangie would have told him the real reason, but I decided that it would be best to keep things as close to the truth as possible so I said:

"Sarah got the idea that I was cheating on her while she was away in school. She told me that she couldn't stand cheaters and she broke up with me."

"Were you?"

"Was I what?"

"Cheating on her."

"No. I did hang around with a group that I went to school with and a couple of them were girls and one of the girls was the one that Sarah accused me of cheating with, but there was nothing going on between us. We just happened to be at the same place at the same time several times and someone must have thought that something was going on between us and told it to Sarah."

"You don't seem too broken up over it."

"I was at first, but after spending a week trying to get Sarah to talk to me with no luck I got to thinking that if she was going to get so warped out of shape over nothing while we were still single what would she be like when we were married? I decided that I didn't need to be tied to someone who could so readily believe that I was cheating when I wasn't."

"Too bad it didn't happen before you changed jobs. If it had I could have kept you in my department."

I shook my head and said, "To be honest about it I would rather not be working for you and still be with Sarah, but I guess part of life is not getting what you want."

"Amen to that. No chance you can work it out?"

"It was her choice and I'm not going to hang around and whine about it. If there were to be any chance it would all have to be up to Sarah and I don't see that in the cards."

Lunch period was over so I got up and went back to work.

Time slid by. I went back to bowling and took some additional classes so I was going to school Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. My weekends were spent with Gloria or the Guard and suddenly Thanksgiving was upon us.

Gloria had gone with her parents to visit her grandmother so I did Thanksgiving dinner with my parents. I figured that Mr. and Mrs. Ames would be there, but I didn't expect to see Allison. I thought she would be spending the day with her boyfriend's family, but I was wrong. She was there and my mother, meddlesome as ever, made sure that we were seated at the table next to each other. It was awkward to say the least.

Conversation buzzed around the table, but despite efforts to draw me into the conversation I stayed silent and I could see that mom and Mrs. Ames were upset that Allison and I made no attempt to speak to each other. Those two would go to their graves still trying to push Allison and me together.

The ritual at my parent's house was that the women prepared the meal and the men did the cleanup. As I scraped the plates prior to putting them into the dish washer my dad said:

"Would it hurt you to at least throw your mother a bone and try to be friendly with Allison?"

Mr. Ames was right there scrubbing pots in the sink so he heard it when I said:

"Allison wants nothing to do with me and she has made that perfectly clear."

"Nonsense" Mr. Ames said, "She talks about you all the time."

I was tempted to say "Oh sure" and then tell him about the paper bag full of used condoms that she gave me, but I of course kept my mouth shut.

When we were done in the kitchen we moved to the family room where we would have Bailey's Irish Cream and conversation. I would have put a damper on things with my silence so I thanked mom for a great dinner, said my goodbyes and left. When I got to my truck I saw something under the windshield wiper. It was a note. "Please call me" and it was signed by Allison. I read it twice and thought about it and then decided that no good would come of it so I crumpled up the note and dropped it to the ground.

Gloria came back from her visit and we spent the rest of the weekend together and three weeks later we attended my company Christmas party where Sarah and her mother cast nasty looks at Gloria and for what reason I couldn't figure.

It wasn't until New Year's Eve that Allison and I crossed paths again. We ended up at the same party, me with Gloria and Allison with some guy I'd never seen before. I noticed that every time I chanced to look her way she was looking at me and Gloria. I wondered what she was thinking.

About an hour into the party I headed off to the bathroom to take a whiz and when I came out I found Allison standing there waiting. I thought she was there to use the facilities so I stepped to the side to let her enter, but she moved with me and said:

"You never called me."

"What would be the point?"

"We need to talk Frank."

"No we don't Allison. Your paper bag and its contents said all that needed to be said. The message was clear and unmistakable."

"I was pissed Frank; I was upset and I lashed out without thinking. I should never have done what I did."

"And when did you realize that?"

"A couple of days later."

"That is when you should have tried talking with me Allison, before I said "screw it" and moved on."

"We belong together Frank and you know it. We've had a few rough spots, but nothing that we couldn't get by. All we need is to sit down and talk."

"It would be a waste of time. I'm with Gloria now and I'm happy with our relationship so sitting down and talking would accomplish nothing. Now if you will excuse me I need to get back to my date."

It was the end of August when Gloria dropped the bomb on me. The previous eight months had been fairly routine for me. Work during the day, classes and bowling in the evenings and the weekends with Gloria. Gloria was taking summer classes, but she had no classes on Friday so she was usually at the apartment when I got there.

I stopped on the way home and picked up a pie for dessert. Gloria usually had dinner ready when I got home and that night was no different. After eating we did the dishes together – I washed and she dried – and it was while I was scrubbing a pot that she said:

"I'm pregnant."

No lead in, no "I have something to tell you" just a flat out "I'm pregnant."

I kind of froze for a couple of seconds and then asked "When?"

"When did I get pregnant? I don't know. Sometime in the last month or so."

"No, I mean when is it due?"

"No idea. I haven't seen a doctor yet. I haven't been feeling good and my period was late so I got one of those self-test things and it says that I'm pregnant."

I went back to scrubbing the pot.

"Aren't you going to say anything?"

"What's to say?"

''What are we going to do?"

"That's up to you."

"What do you mean?"

"Just that, what happens is up to you."

"Why me? You are in this too."

I finished the last of the dishes in the sink and said, "I've never heard you say that you wanted kids. In fact, all you have talked about is your career after you get your degree."

"What about it?"

"Can you handle a career and a kid? Will a kid slow you down?"

"That's a cold way to look at it."

"Not cold, just practical. I don't care one way or the other. It has to be your decision."

"Oh sure; just dump it on me."

"Of course I'm dumping it on you. It's your body and you get to make the decisions where it is concerned. You get to be the one to decide if you want to be a mother or not."

"You bastard!"

"Hold on there. Just why am I a bastard?"

"Dumping it all on me."

"Well little girl I have news for you. It is all on you. I don't have to decide anything. You are pregnant so I need to marry you. Everything else is up to you. You have to decide where, when and how. You want a quickie at city hall or you want to set up a church wedding? You have to decide if you want to be a mother or not. If you decide to be a mother you will need to decide if you will be a full time or a working mom. You have to decide if you are going back to school or not. All the decisions that have to be made are yours."

"What if I don't want to get married?"

"Then we are right back where we started when I said that what happens is up to you."

"I always planned on marrying you, but not for a while. I'm not ready to be married."

"Your choice."

"I'm not ready to be a mother either."

"Again, your choice."

"Damn it Frank; you aren't any help at all."

"I'll support you in whatever you decide, but it is up to you to make the decisions where your life is concerned."

She threw the dish towel at me and stormed out of the room. I finished cleaning up and then dropped down in front of the TV to veg out. I wasn't able to get into anything that I watched because of what Gloria had dropped on me. I would of course step up to the plate and do what was right, but that didn't mean that I really wanted to. I had expected to get married some day and quite possibly to Gloria, but I was far from ready to be a husband and even farther from being ready to be a father.

Even when I had been engaged to Sarah I hadn't been ready, but it didn't matter then because we had decided not to tie the knot until she graduated and at the time that had been two years away, but regardless of what I thought I was ready for it appeared that "ready or not here it comes."

I heard the bedroom door close and a moment later Gloria walked to the front door and left the apartment without a word and I wondered what the hell I'd done wrong now as far as she was concerned. I did my part. I accepted the responsibility and said we would be married. What else was I supposed to do? She wasn't back when I went to bed at eleven and she wasn't there when I woke up in the morning. To hell with it I said and I went out and got myself some breakfast.

Gloria never came back or called over the rest of the weekend and I guessed she went back to school on Sunday afternoon as usual. I didn't hear from her during the week and she wasn't at the apartment when I came home Friday night. When she hadn't shown up by noon on Saturday I accepted an invitation to spend the rest of the weekend out at the lake with some friends. When I got back late Sunday night I could tell from the look of the place that Gloria hadn't been there and there were no messages on my answering machine.

I was having a hard time figuring out what was going on. I always thought that when an unmarried girl got pregnant the big push was to get married as soon as possible so the time between the marriage and the arrival of the baby would look pretty close to normal. It didn't look much like Gloria cared about appearances. Well, if she didn't care I wasn't going to worry about it.

When I went into work Monday I had no idea that the week was going to cause a major change in my life and the lives of many, many others.

I suppose everyone knows where they were and what they were doing at 8:41 a.m. on Tuesday, September 11^th, 2001. I was at work and I had just pulled five units at random from the final assembly marshalling area and was bench checking them as part of our Quality Control program. I'd finished two and was hooking up a third to the oscilloscope when Jerry Petulkas came running into the shop and saying:

"You need to get down to the break room and see what's on the TV. You ain't going to believe it. Couple of planes flew into some buildings in New York. The news people are saying that it was deliberate."

At the time I didn't realize that it would have an impact on my life, but Gloria did. She called me two days later just after I got home from work. After saying hello she said that she had thought things over and decided that we needed to get married since she was going to keep the baby.

"I can get my blood test here and if you can get yours in the next day or so I'll come up a day early or stay over Sunday night and skip Monday classes and we can get the license. Then I think we have to wait three days. We can find out for sure when we apply. Then I can either come back early or stay over and we can get married at city hall."

"Why the rush now? It has been almost two weeks since you have talked to me."

"We have to get it done before you leave."

"Before I leave? What does that mean?"

"You're in the Army right? We need to get it done before they send you somewhere."

"Before who sends me where?"

"Before the Army sends you off to fight."

"What have you been smoking Gloria?"

"Nothing Frank."

"The Army isn't going to send me anywhere."

"That's not what I'm hearing here in Texas. The people who know the Bush clan say that George junior is just looking for a way to show his daddy that he has a set of balls. He will use the Army to do something about the attack in New York."

"Nonsense Gloria. It was just a bunch of terrorists that attacked us not some country. And even if he did do something he would use the Regular Army, not the Guard."

"Remember what his dad did when Saddam invaded Kuwait? He used the Guard and the Reserve and junior will do the same. You can bank on it."

"Not a chance Gloria; not a chance in hell."

Nine days later Gloria and I were married in a civil ceremony, six months later I was in Afghanistan and two months after that I was in Walter Reed recovering from wounds.

Gloria gave birth to Jessica Marie while I was hospitalized. I told everyone not to waste the money on a visit since I was told I would be released in four or five weeks. Released from Reed and the Guard. My trip to Afghanistan had resulted in my receiving a slight limp that would be with me for the rest of my life. It wasn't a bad limp, just bad enough to keep me from passing an active duty physical.

I talked with Gloria and my mom a couple of times a week and between the two of them I got the sense that all was not well back home. For one thing my mother always seemed to change the subject every time I kidded her about being a grandmother and I figured that it was probably because she and Gloria didn't see eye to eye on how to raise a kid. And I thought that because mom and Gloria didn't seem to see eye to eye on anything. Mom had never cottoned to Gloria and I naturally assumed that it was because Gloria was my wife instead of Allison.

Talking to Gloria was strange also. She seemed a bit distant when we talked and as I got closer to being released she became even more distant. I would have thought as I came closer to my release date she would get more excited about my coming home. Sometimes I thought from the way she sounded that she wasn't looking forward to my coming home at all.

And then I found out why. Mom and Gloria were not the only ones I was having phone conversations with. I received several calls from well meaning friends who told me that Gloria was spending a lot of time in the company of a man that no one seemed to know and that he had been seen leaving our apartment in the morning. That no one seemed to know him was an indication that the man wasn't from our town and that led me to believe that he was either a student where Gloria went to school or some Texan she met while staying at Baylor during the week.

What surprised me the most about the situation is that I wasn't surprised. Since the first time she dumped me back when she first went down there to attend Baylor I'd always suspected that she dated during the week. I had expected it to stop when we were married and I was disappointed that it apparently hadn't. We would be having a long talk when I did get home and divorce was definitely not out of the question.

The information about her apparent boyfriend changed things. I told Gloria that my release date was two weeks farther out than it actually was which led to me being in a rented car in the apartment parking lot at 6:40 a.m. one Wednesday morning when a tall red headed man came out of the apartment and got into a late model Toyota with Texas plates. I was also there at 6:21 p.m. when the same guy went into the apartment not to depart until 6:48 a.m. the next morning.

I followed him to an apartment complex on the other side of town. He got out of the car and went into apartment 3B. I sat and waited to see if he would come back out and he did at 7:36. I followed him to Anderson's Lumber and twenty minutes later he pulled out of the yard driving a truck loaded with building materials.

I waited until he was out of sight and then I checked out his car. I was in luck and it wasn't locked. I found the registration in the glove box. The car was registered to a Reginald Barrington. I was parked where I could watch the car when Barrington got off work. He came out, got in the car and drove back to his apartment, changed clothes and then drove to my apartment getting there at 6:23. I didn't bother to be there in the morning when he left since I already knew more than I wanted to. I drove to my motel and got some sleep and when I got up I made my plans.

Timing was the key.

I had to make my move during the time period between Barrington leaving his apartment and arriving at mine. At 6:12 I used my key and let myself into the apartment. Gloria was in the kitchen with her back to me when she said

"It's about time you got here lover."

"Way, way, way past time my love."

She turned around, dropped the dish she was holding shocked at seeing me and before she could say a word I said:

"They moved my release date up and I thought I would surprise you."

I opened my arms and said, "Come here baby; I've missed you."

I saw her make a quick glance at the wall clock and then the phone before coming to me. I hugged her and was kissing her when the door to the apartment opened and Barrington walked in. I looked at him in pretend surprise and said:

"Who are you and what are you doing in my apartment?"

I saw fear flash across Gloria's face. Barrington was quick; I'd have to give him that. He took a step back and looked at the apartment number on the door and said:

"Oops; I guess I wasn't paying attention. I'm one door off. Sorry to disturb you" and he backed out and closed the door behind him.

I didn't say anything except, "Where is the baby? I want to see my child."

I felt some of the tension leave Gloria and she took my hand and led me to the back bedroom. The baby was asleep in a crib and Gloria eased the blanket down so I could get a good look at the baby. The child woke up and looked up at me and as I looked down at her several things suddenly became clear. Things like the way my mother behaved when talking about Gloria. Things like why mother was always quick to change the subject when I kidded her about being a grandmother.

The baby had red hair and green eyes.

No one in my family had red hair or green eyes. Gloria's hair was as black as a raven's wing and she had brown eyes. Barrington was red headed and I would bet that he also had green eyes.

My plan to sit down and have a long talk with Gloria about whether or not we could get past her having an affair while I was gone went right into the trash can. Without looking at her I asked Gloria:

"Does Barrington have a cell phone?"

"What are you talking about? Who is Barrington?"

"Give it up Gloria. You're busted. The fact that I know the name should tell you that."

"I don't know what you are talking about. I don't know anyone named Barrington."

"Unless he is driving someone else's car he is the man who walked in the door a couple of minutes ago. He is also the man who entered this apartment Tuesday night and didn't leave until 6:40 the next morning. The same man who came in here Wednesday night at 6:21 and didn't leave until 6:48 Thursday morning. Whatever his name is you need to get in touch with him and get him to come back for you and his kid. I'm going over to my parent's house and spend the night. I will come back here tomorrow afternoon after three and you and your kid need to be gone. I'll see an attorney in the morning and start the end to this sorry mess."

"You aren't making any sense here Frank. I don't know anyone named Barrington."

"Jesus Christ Gloria; are you fucking brain dead? I just told you I have been sitting out in the parking lot watching that red headed asshole spend the last three nights in this apartment. Maybe his name isn't Barrington. The car he is driving is registered to a Reginald Barrington and maybe this Barrington guy loaned his car to the red headed asshole who just walked in the door. What about when I walked in the door? Your back was to me and you didn't know it was me and you weren't expecting me so where the fuck did that "It's about time you got here lover" come from? And are you going to tell me that it is just a coincidence that your bed buddy and this baby both have red hair and green eyes? Well I ain't buying it Gloria.

"You want to know my take on this? No, of course you don't, but I'm going to give it to you anyway. Way back when you first told me that you were pregnant you were just priming the pump; setting me up for the fall in case you couldn't get the red headed asshole to marry you. I always wondered why you went back to Baylor and didn't talk to me for almost two weeks after hitting me with the pregnancy shit. It was because you were busy trying to talk Barrington or whoever the fuck he is into marrying you and I guess he told you to fuck off and so it was back to Plan B – me! I'll even go a step farther and guess that the reason he wouldn't marry you is because he knew he wasn't the only guy fucking you while you were down there going to school and he didn't think the kid was his.

"No matter. Bottom line is that you are busted and we are done. Be gone when I get back here tomorrow."

I left the apartment and went straight to a phone and cancelled the two credit cards that we had and arranged for a new card in my name only and with a different account number. The bank would have to wait until the morning.

I received a joyous welcome at my parent's place and after things settled down mom said:

"I know that your first stop would have been your apartment, but I see that you have your bags with you."

"Yes indeed and I'm betting that you know why. Why didn't you tell me?"

"You had enough to worry about and there wasn't anything you could have done from where you were so why add to your load? Besides, you might have been able to get by it. She might have been able to show you or convince you that there was red hair and green eyes in her family."

"Maybe, but there wasn't anyway she could explain away the red headed asshole she was sleeping with when I got home."

"Oh my; I didn't know about that. What are you going to do?"

"See a lawyer and go for a divorce or maybe an annulment. She obviously lied to me when she said we had to get married because I was the father of the child."

"I'm sorry honey. Gloria wouldn't have been my choice for you, but I had hoped that things would work out for you."

I spent the night in my old room and mom fed me breakfast in the morning and then I headed for town and was standing at the door when the bank opened. I cleaned out the savings and checking accounts and closed them. I opened a new checking account in my name only and filled out the necessary paperwork to have my direct deposits go to the new account. That done I headed over to Home Depot and got a new locking door knob and dead bolt.

When I got there Barrington or whatever his name might be was loading suitcases into the back of the car he was driving. I looked him over and thought that even with my gimpy leg I could take him; maybe teach him that fucking another man's woman wasn't a good thing and then I thought maybe it wasn't that way at all. Maybe he saw it as me fucking his woman. Maybe she was cheating on him with me when she came home for the weekends. Fuck it! It wouldn't be worth the effort.

In the apartment Gloria was looking around to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything. When she was done she headed for the door and I stepped in front of her and held out my hand palm up and said:

"Keys to the apartment and truck."

She dug through her hand bag, came up with them and handed them to me. I stepped aside so she could leave and she said:

"Don't I even get a kiss goodbye?"

"Your boyfriend out there might not approve."

I turned and walked away from her and she left the apartment and pulled the door closed behind her. Even though I had gotten her keys she might have a spare so I got busy and changed the locks with what I'd picked up at Home Depot. That done I had the rest of the weekend to get through and I visited a couple of my old haunts and said hello and visited to old friends that I ran into.

Monday morning I called an attorney and made an appointment to see him that afternoon. I told him my story and he told me that getting an annulment would be the way to go, but if she fought it things would probably devolve into a regular divorce and at that point we would need tests to determine the paternity of the child in order for me to avoid having to pay child support. I told him to go ahead with the paper work and gave him Barrington's address as the place to serve Gloria.

I left the attorney and drove over to XYZ and paid a visit to the HR office and filled out the necessary paperwork for returning to work and then I went back to my parent's place for dinner. I told them about what had gone on and about my visit to the lawyer and then my mom said:

"You really should say hi to Allison now that you are home."

Some things never change. I wasn't even out of my marriage to Gloria and mom was trying to get me back with Allison.

I went back to work and back to school. I had one semester remaining to get my Associates Degree in Business Management. I rejoined the Wednesday night bowling league and surprisingly my average went from 160 to 175. It seems that my limp slowed down my approach to the foul line and gave me a better delivery.

I didn't do any dating because I didn't want to give Gloria anything she could use against me in case she might want to fight the breakup so it was just work, bowl and school for me while I waited to see what happened.

At work Randy retired and Melvin moved up to take his spot and then John surprised the hell out of me and moved me up to take Melvin's spot. I had hoped to move up in the company; that is why I was taking classes, but I hadn't expected anything to happen for a couple of years. The frosting on the cake – the end to a great day – came when I got home from work and got my mail out of the mail box. My annulment came through.

I went out to celebrate that night with some old classmates. We ended up at a party and by the end of it I had a date for Saturday with Bev Holbrook. I didn't even have to work for it. Bev came up to me and said: