Chapter 8

Susan

It was nice waking next to Jasmine. We'd moved in the night; I was on my back and she was half laying on me, her hand on my penis. Somehow, though, my mind was drifting into the... doubts I maybe should have had months before. Not just about adultery per se, but what was I doing with two women not my wife and one of them more than forty years younger? And yet ... and yet ... I was sure I loved them and there was no doubt my ageing body liked them just fine. I sighed, and my hand, behind Jasmine, stroked her back, moving round to cup the side of the breast which was pressed against my chest. She hummed contentedly and wriggled a little. It was nice. Unfortunately there was a small ... actually not so small physiological problem. My bladder felt as though it was near bursting.

"Gotta go," I whispered, pulling away. She followed me across the bed, making complaining noises; 'she is good at that', I thought, but kept going, disengaging myself as gently as possible.

Having obtained relief, I returned to the bedroom and bent down to kiss her ear. She turned and lifted her head, though, so our lips met. It was tempting, but I pulled back.

"I'm going to church," I said, "and I want a shower and breakfast first."

He expression changed from flirty to serious. "Okay, Bill, I'll be down in a minute. I'll come too."

When she came downstairs, Jasmine was followed by Anna, and the three of us ate breakfast together. We didn't even try to fit three under the shower head, which probably speeded things up considerably, and we were at church in good time.

There's nothing special I can say about the service, which could get me started about the state of the Church, but this is not the place for that. I did, however, get a shock as we stood to leave, because when I turned to head towards the church lounge for coffee, my eyes met those of ... Susan's.

That meeting of our eyes produced a shock that jolted through me and for several moments I froze; then first Jasmine squeezed past and moulded herself to my left side, then Anna inveigled herself under my arm to the right. I don't believe I can convey my feelings ... uncertainty, yes – discomfort, yes, but also comfort that I felt supported. Others of the congregation were passing us; I thought I detected a few raised eyebrows.

I looked at Susan; her beloved face bore ... a smile. A small smile, but nonetheless, a smile. I saw understanding, acceptance and ... was it resignation? I looked at Anna, then Jasmine.

"You two mind giving us a few moments? Get a coffee? Pick one up for me?"

They kissed me, one on each cheek, then to my surprise did the same to Susan; Anna whispering something to her and getting a reply. They went out to the lounge and I slipped into the pew next to Susan.

"Hey, you..." I said tentatively. Weird feeling – weird situation.

She reached out and stroked my cheek gently ... lovingly.

"I'm sorry, Bill," she said gently, "I hurt you. But I felt I had to do something. You seem to have found companions though."

"Actually, it would be better to say, they were found for me," I said, "Tammy and Fee have managed me very effectively. I still miss you, though. They can't fill your place in my life."

"You mean that, Bill?"

"Absolutely. I told them just the other day that there was a 'Susan shaped hole' in my life."

"Bill ... can we talk?"

"I thought we were talking."

She shook her head and grimaced. "Come on, Bill. You know what I'm saying."

"Yes, I do. How do you want to do this? Do you want to come home and I'll ask Jazz and Anna to make themselves scarce for an hour or so, or shall we go somewhere else, maybe have lunch?"

"Why don't we go to the Botanical Gardens – the Curator's House tea-rooms? Have a stroll in the gardens. I don't want to ... um... threaten your girls by invading their space."

"It's your space too, your home."

"No, I relinquished my moral right to claim that when I walked out."

I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to rebut ... then shut it again. Breathed out, and in again several times.

"Okay," I said, "I'll tell Jazz and Anna I'll be back later this afternoon." I grinned then, a little awkwardly. "I wouldn't want to miss Time Team, now would I?"

(Time Team? Cameras follow a team of archaeologists spending three days 'digging' a site, often by invitation of an individual or a small local group of amateurs. Initially criticised by other professional archaeologists, they've gained a great deal of prestige both from the care and professionalism of their work and the way they've popularised archaeology.)

That got a laugh from Susan. "I'd thought you had other interests than archaeology these days! Between two female house-mates and an old motorbike?"

"Oh, I try to keep up with other things as well."

"No," she said, "I'll have a word with them. I want to reassure them."

That raised my eyebrows, but I followed my wife out of the worship area and watched her go straight to the girls, touching them lightly on their forearms and speaking quietly. I was surprised then to see them in a three-way hug. When they broke up I went over too.

"Okay, you two? I'll be back later this afternoon."

Anna touched my cheek with her lips and whispered, "good luck. Remember we love you."

Jasmine did the same on the other side, but she just said, "I love you."

Then I left with my wife ... for our talk.

The tea-rooms were busy and noisy. We had smoked salmon with salad and coffee. We didn't talk much, though I did tell Susan about the Panther, and how Anna would be getting her Deux Chevaux in a week or so ... painted like a ladybird; which got a smile.

"Trust you to find something like that," she commented.

"Don't blame me," I protested, "it was a pure accident. If it were up to me, she'd be driving a Micra; we saw a really nice one a few weeks ago, but no, it wouldn't do."

She looked thoughtful. "Sounds as though she and you are even more compatible than I thought..." she mused.

"Whoa! Hold that right there. We need to talk ... right?"

We left the tea-rooms and wandered through the gardens; there was a bench under some trees and very few other people in that area so we sat.

"I want to hold you..." I said, lifting my arm.

She looked at me for what seemed like a very long time, then moved up to me so I could hold her. It was like ... putting on my favourite, comfortable shoes. She sighed.

"So ... do you want me to come back?"

"Yes. No doubt ... absolutely ... please."

"Are you willing to give up Jasmine and Anna?"

I didn't answer that immediately, but then I said, "yes. But I'm not willing to turn them out of the house."

"Do you love them, though?"

"Yes," I said, meeting her eyes steadily, "I do. I broke my promises to you when I slept with first Jasmine, then Anna. I couldn't help but develop feelings for them ... of course I did. But still ... I made those promises to you over thirty years ago. We were together for most of that time, we've got history together ... good and bad, but it's our history. That's more important than sex."

"Do you really think so?"

"I really think so."

"I ... only half agree, Bill. I ... left you ... because of the tension in you, because I could no longer be a ... complete ... wife to you. The friendship, the sharing, the history, they're all important, but ... I've seen how you are with them. How they are with you. I don't think I can come between you."

"But..."

Her finger touched my lips, silencing me. "Let's go ... home..." she said, "we need to involve Anna and Jasmine. When we get there, will you let me talk to them alone for a few minutes? Whatever is decided, you get the final say, okay? But I want to talk to them alone first."