Little Billy lay in bed sound asleep cuddling a plush purple dinosaur toy in one hand and a dirty old football in the other. His sheets were imprinted with a football gridiron, and his bedspread was all footballs and helmets. Posters of football players adorned every inch of wall space.

The frequent sirens and noise from the traffic down in the Brooklyn streets below was deafening, but still no match for the elevated subway line that ran just feet from his bedroom window. The fan in his window did an adequate job of exchanging the 98 degree inside air with the 98 degree outside air.

Morning, and middle school, was still a few hours away as he slept through the night. The vibrations of his bed from the passing trains every ten minutes or so never disturbed his sleep even slightly.

"You did real good for your first game of college ball," Coach Duffy said to Bill as the rowdy team headed into the hotel bar for a little after-game victory celebration.

"Shit, man," said Steve, "you hadn't blocked that runner, we ain't have got that last touchdown. You helped us beat Springfield Tech, man!"

"Thanks, guys," said Bill. "But it was a team effort."

"Sure was!" said Carl. "We whupped their pansy nerd asses!"

"And hey," said Bill. "The school sure put us up in a fancy hotel."

"Not always," said Gary. "Sometimes they put us up in real shit-holes."

"They even put us up in empty dorm rooms when we played WMU last year."

"Hey dudes!" shouted Jack as they entered the hotel bar. "Check out all the hot babes!"

"We's all gettin' fuckin' laid tonight fo' sure, man!" said Bob.

That'd be nice, thought Bill, though he doubted how likely that would be in a hotel in a strange city where he doesn't know anyone.

The team crowded around the bar in the already crowded establishment, and Bill eventually managed to order a Bud Light and a bowl of super hot chili. He had mixed feelings about missing classes tomorrow, even though the school required the faculty to make allowances for when the team plays away games.

The team dispersed in the crowded bar, though Bill hung out at the bar. After his third beer and second bowl of chili, he was feeling pretty relaxed after the stress of the game just a few hours ago.

I'll have one more, then call it a night, he said to himself. He waved a fiver at the bartender for one last beer. The bartender put down the beer but waved off the cash. "That lady over there bought it for you."

What lady? thought Bill. I don't know any women in this city. He glanced over. A super hot blonde in a sheer tank top was staring straight at him, smiling. She resembled that kinky girl he dated last semester. He couldn't believe it when she blew him one night and then asked him to piss in her moth. After she begged him enough times, he finally gave in and tried it. What a rush it turned out to be--to use another human being as a urinal. Alas, she eventually got bored with him and found someone even kinkier who was willing to do even more disgusting things to her than he was willing to do. Bill cleared his mind, picked up his beer, and walked over to her. "Thanks," he said.

"My pleasure," she answered. "You were great out there today!"

"You were at the game?" asked Bill.

"Sure was!" she said. "You even waved to me."

"Did I?" asked Bill as he let out a high octane fart. At least it was one of those quiet ones and the bar was crowded, so it'd disperse.

"I was sitting on the 20 yard line," she said. "I waved to you during a down, and you waved back."

"Oh, yeah," said Bill. "I remember."

Bill laughed. "So you were rooting for the enemy?"

"Yeah," she laughed back. "At first my husband and I were rooting for Springfield, but when you waved at me, I changed my loyalty."

Husband? thought Bill. Oh well. He had hoped that he might get lucky with this hot blonde tonight, but realized that, instead, hanging out with her was hurting his odds of hooking up with someone available. He didn't want to be rude after she bought him a beer, but he needed to unhook himself from her fast.

Just then, someone jostled his elbow, making him slosh some of his beer on himself.

"Hey," he said. "I'm going to get away from the bar. Just too crowded."

"I was just going to suggest the same thing," she said. "Let's go over there."

Shit! "Okay."

As Bill started to force his way from the bar, the blonde grabbed his elbow and followed him to a less crowded corner.

"This a good spot?" he asked as he glanced over at Lou sitting at a table with some chick in his lap, sucking face.

"Sure," she said.

Again, he glanced at Lou, wishing that he got it on with women so easily.

"You like what they're doing?" she asked.

"I guess," he said.

At that moment, a guy got up from a nearby table, leaving a vacant chair.

"You want to sit?" he asked her.

"Why don't you first?" she said.

He shrugged and sat. Then, to his shock, she sat on his lap. Immediately, they were swapping spit.

After about a minute, Bill leaned back. He didn't want to be the target of an irate jealous husband. "What about your husband? What if he walks in?"