Darlin' You Can't Love Two

by wordytom

Copyright© 2010 by wordytom

Humor Sex Story: What happens when six foot pluss a whole lot of inches yankee married into a West Virginia Appalachian family way up in the hills where the coal mines ran out of coal years ago? If you can't figure it out by your own self, read the true to life account of what really happens up there. (In my imagination, anyways.)

Caution: This Humor Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa   Consensual   Heterosexual   Humor   Cheating   Pregnancy   .

"Darlin' You Can't Love One"

"Do you Jack Resor take Miranda Watkins to be your lawfully wedded wife?" The five foot seven preacher craned his neck in order to look the six foot six groom in the face. Damn, he is a big bastard. The preacher kept his thoughts to himself. I bet even his eyelids have muscles.

"I do," Jack's rumbling voice filled the chapel.

"Do you, Miranda Watkins, take Jack to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Reverend Will Hoskins still had to look up to see into the bride's eyes, just not quite the stretch. Christ, if she was a little taller, my nose would be buried ... The reverend cut that bit of wishful thinking off before it got him hospitalized or killed outright.

"I do," Miranda answered. If that runty little preacher gets any slobbers on the front of my dress I'm going to deck him right on the spot. Then she remembered her five foot five cousin Brian and what happened the time they went skinny dipping a couple of years ago. I swear I thought he was going to lick my tonsils when he got his nose in my goodies. Pity the only long thing about him was his tongue ... She forced herself to stop that train of thought. She knew those kinds of thoughts could get a girl in trouble.

"Well boy, you better stick that ring on her finger and kiss her hard because I now pronounce y'alls man and wife.

Jack stuck his tongue so far down his bride's throat she figured he got slobbers on her goodies. She was sure as hell wet enough down there.

Opal Watkins, Miranda's mama hurried up to the kissing couple and told them, "I want to kiss the groom. After all I am the bride's mother." She got between the two and told Miranda, "You go let them other fellas kiss the bride. Spread yourself around some. This is your last chance."

The eager mother in law launched herself upwards, climbed the last few inches and threw her arms around Jack's neck and began to lick his tongue while it was still in his mouth. She wrapped her legs around Jack and he placed his hands under her well-rounded butt to keep her from falling to the floor and hurting herself.

As soon as Opal released him from her lip lock, Jack looked around and got worried. He couldn't see Miranda anywhere in the big room. "Where's Mandy?" he asked himself.

Opal eased herself down until her feet were on the floor. She gave Jack's hefty tool an affectionate squeeze and grabbed his hand. "She's around here somewhere," Opal answered and led him off toward an empty room.

"Nope, she's not in here," Opal told him, "but we are." She tugged him inside and locked the door as soon as it was closed. She grabbed his belt and undid it one-handed. Her other hand was busy with his zipper. Before his pants and underwear got settled down around his ankles, she dropped out of her dress and launched herself upward once more.

She left a snail track on Jack's belly as she slid down his body and settled down with his cock buried deep inside her. "Hug me tight and I'll do all the work," she moaned.

Jack stared at the top on his mother in law's head and asked her, "Is this the way weddings happen in West Virginia?"

"Some does and some doesn't," she moaned. "Now shut up and get busy"

Damn, he thought to himself, I never heard of getting married like this. It's going to take some getting used to. I never heard of this sort of thing happening in Cleveland.

Miranda found Jack and Opal a hour later. They were both hot and sweaty from all the vertical exercises they had performed together. "Mama, you and Jack both look like you been..." She shut up and looked back and forth between the two of them. "Mama! You didn't, did you? You and my new husband?"

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