It is always a bad day when you find out that you are stupid; when you find out that you have been played for a sucker. And it is an extremely bad day when you find out that the person who played you is the same person who almost every day for years has been telling you that she loves you.
Sarah and I met in the ninth grade and while most people will tell you that the feelings that you have when you are that young are just 'puppy love' and immature infatuation I knew that I loved Sarah as soon as I set eyes on her for the first time.
We dated off and on through the ninth and part of the tenth grade and then I asked her to go steady and was overjoyed when she said yes. We went steady for the rest of high school and one week after graduation I asked her to marry me. Everyone I knew told me not to do it. They gave me all kinds of reasons from "You are too young" to "The two of you are just not right for each other." The one I heard the most often was, "You have never had a relationship with anyone else but her. You need to at least experience a date or two with a couple of other girls just to make sure that you know what you are doing."
I ignored them all because I loved Sarah and I knew that she loved me. Okay, we were young, so what? I'd read somewhere that half of the married couples in the United States got married right out of high school. And yeah, we were total opposites, but again, so what? We loved each other and we got along great. Why did I need to date others to see what it would be like when I already had the love of my life?
After graduation my father got me on at the paper mill. It was the afternoon shift and I didn't care much for the hours, but the pay was good and as soon as I had saved up enough to get an apartment Sarah and I were married.
Sarah and I were both virgins when we climbed into our marriage bed. Sarah because she had promised her mother and me because Sarah had made me promise her. That didn't mean that I was going into our new life a sexual dummy. I had seen plenty of porn videos and I was fully aware of all the fun things you could do. I was looking forward to eating Sarah's pussy, getting my first blow job, trying anal sex and trying out all of the various positions that I had seen. I had even positioned a mirror in our bedroom so I could see Sarah's tits swing wildly back and forth as I made love to her from behind.
I was disappointed when Sarah came to bed in a long flannel nightgown and turned off all the lights.
"No, don't" she said when I attempted to get to her breasts and any effort to get her nightgown above her waist was met with a, "Stop that Kevin," and then everything went to hell. "For what we need to do I don't need my nightgown any higher than my waist."
"What we need to do Sarah? This is our wedding night. The night we are finally free to make love. Free to enjoy each other."
"No Kevin, according to my mother tonight will be one of pain. We will consummate the marriage and get the pain of losing my virginity out of the way and then tomorrow we will get a calendar and plot out my fertile times. Once we get them plotted we will know when we can make love again."
"Next time Sarah? I planned on making love every single night."
"My mother says that the only reason for having sex is to procreate so if I can't get pregnant for the next couple of weeks there is no reason for us to have sex."
"Sarah, I don't give a rat's ass what your mother says. Sex is healthy and it is the ultimate expression of love. I have waited two years for this night and the nights that will follow it. You know how eager I was to make love to you, but I promised to wait and I have. Now you hit me with this "My mother says" nonsense? This is stuff you should have brought up and made clear before we were married."
"If I had would you have married me?"
"Willingly enter into a sexless marriage? Not likely. Are you telling me that you deliberately married me with the intention of denying me the benefits of marriage?"
"My mother says..."
"Fuck your mother Sarah! I didn't marry your mother; I married you. And I'm telling you right now that if you don't believe in having sex unless you are trying to make babies this marriage is over before it even starts because I'm not going to go five or six years without sex."
"Five or six years?"
"Damned right. I'm not going to saddle myself with kids until I've had a little time to enjoy life."
"But my mothe..."
"Forget it Sarah. Go home and live with your mother," I said as I got up and started to get dressed.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going to see my dad and see if he knows how to go about getting the marriage annulled. It might not be too hard to do since we never consummated it."
I had my clothes on and was heading for the door when Sarah cried, "Please Kevin, don't go and leave me here."
"You don't need to stay here Sarah; go home to your mother. See what she has to say. She seems to have something to say on just about everything."
"Kevin please, don't go honey. I love you, you know I do."
"I love you Sarah, but as far as I'm concerned a strong, healthy sex life is a part of any marriage. You wouldn't make love with me before we got married and you made me promise to stay a virgin until we were married. The wait is over Sarah and now the girl that I promised to wait for tells me that our marriage is going to be basically sexless? I don't think so. I'm not going another week without sex and I will not cheat on my wife. To me that pretty much means that we have the marriage annulled and then you can go back to doing whatever your mother says and I can go find some one to help me get rid of my cherry."
"Please Kevin no, don't do that to me. What do I have to do?"
"You don't 'have' to do anything. It has to be a cooperative effort or it will be a waste of time. I want the sex life that I've been looking forward to. I want you naked on our bed. I want the lights on and I want to enjoy sex in all of its forms including anal and oral sex."
"I will not have anal sex. It is a disgusting perversion and it is totally out of the question. I feel almost as strongly about the idea of oral sex, but most of my girlfriends do it and they say that they like it so I'll try. I'm not going to promise anything, but I will try. But absolutely no anal sex at all."
I stood at the door and looked at her. I was sure that she would love sex and that I could eventually win her over and get her to try anal so I took my hand off of the doorknob and went back to the bed and undressed.
The night was a disaster. My buddies all told me to go slow. They said that Sarah would scream out and then cry for maybe a minute but that I shouldn't let that put me off.
"She'll get into it dude. It may take a minute or so, but the pain only hurts for a short while and then she will respond. When that happens be ready to hang on for the ride of your life. Just take it slow and let Sarah get used to it before picking up the pace."
Well, they got the cry and scream part of it right, but Sarah never did get used to it or respond. I had wanted my first time to be more than a quickie so for three days before the wedding I jacked off three and four times a day. As a result I lasted almost nine minutes and Sarah screamed and cried the entire time. When it was over and I'd pulled out of her Sarah got off the bed and ran to the bathroom and stayed in there until I had fallen asleep. In retrospect I would have been a lot better off if I had gone out of the apartment and gone for the annulment.
Sarah did give me the sex life that I told her that I wanted, but not in the way I expected. I wanted sex and she gave it to me and then just lay there and suffered through it until I finished. She held to her "no anal" position, but she did almost everything else. She let me move her into different positions, but it didn't matter which one I used she didn't respond. She would lay there, lean there, kneel there, whatever and just let me use her and then she would run for the bathroom and scrub herself clean in the shower before coming to bed. She would give me blow jobs but warned me never to cum in her mouth. Even then, after I'd pulled out and cum in a hankie, she would dash for the bathroom, brush her teeth and gargle for a few minutes. She would let me eat her pussy whenever I wanted to, but even after I'd brushed my teeth and gargled with Scope she still wouldn't kiss me for a day or two.
In short, she gave me everything that I wanted and then she destroyed it with a total lack of interest. The weird part of the whole thing is that except for in the bedroom we were a happy couple. I loved Sarah and I had no doubt that she loved me. We hugged, snuggled, cuddled and kissed and were happy to be in each other's company — except in the bedroom. Eventually the sexual aspect of my marriage faded to the point where I only had sex with Sarah on the average of once a week.
And then one fine summer evening our marriage went down in flames.