Chapter 5

Mother's Little Helper

Chapter Five

I needed a snort of that coke and I had it before I even left the driveway, promptly backing into our mailbox two minutes later. That made me laugh and swear and try it again. That pill hadn't been enough. Two pills and a hit of coke, now two hits, it wasn't enough. Not for a day like the one I was having and I wasn't in a mood for more family court in my kitchen.

"Fuck him." I shook my head, driving slowly because I knew I was fucked up.

I went to Gary's house, but found it dark and empty, like he'd said it would be and I frowned. I wanted to be with someone who didn't care. Who didn't have a family. Who could just help me relax, and thinking all that, it made me wonder why I'd thought of Gary. I wanted him to have sex with me, probably. I frowned at that thought too. Gary was an asshole. I hated him. So why had I come to his place? Because he'd give me more coke and then have sex with me, call me a whore and humiliate me and not give a shit about my problems.

The only other place I had to go was the first place I would have gone, if I'd been in my right mind. I drove to Stacy's because that's what best friends are for. If I couldn't fuck my drug dealer's cock, I'd cry on my best friend's shoulder. It was all the same, right? I giggled at that. Fucking and crying, what's the difference? I did them both at the same time nowadays. I could afford to take another pill anyway, because Stacy would have some. She took them too, although I didn't know why. Her life seemed perfect compared to mine.

Maybe perfection is its own form of hell. That was another funny thought and I started admiring my own cleverness as that pill dissolved slowly in my tummy. I'd be in a fine mood once I got to Stacy's condo. Too fine for crying. Those pills were great. I just wished they lasted longer. After more than a month of taking them, it seemed like they weren't as strong as they'd been in the beginning. I wondered briefly if Gary was giving me the right ones, but no, they were the same pills. It's just that my life had gotten more stressful. That's what it had to be, I was sure. Too much stress for one little pill, or even two.

"Gina?" Stacy opened the door with a curious smile.

"Hi." I made a little face. "Bad time?"

"What? No ... Come on in. What's wrong?" She let me into her place and it was comfortable, if a tad small compared to my home. It was just her and her cat anyway, the occasional boyfriend maybe. Stacy didn't have a family to anchor her down.

She was an attractive woman, my own age, but looking five years younger. Stacy hadn't given birth to three kids either though. That was a big plus in her favor, even though most people wouldn't guess that I was a mother at first glance. At least not if I dressed nicely and made up a bit more than usual, otherwise I had to admit that I did look like the middle-aged soccer mom I really was.

Not Stacy though. She was tall, maybe five ten or so, an inch or two taller than me anyway, with dark brown hair. She liked to put some red in it, giving her an auburn look that went well with the woman's green eyes and wonderful skin tone. She looked like she had an early summer tan, not brown, but getting there, and I'd envied that about her, because I'm so pale by comparison. Stacy's body was firm and she had the luxury of being single, so she could afford the time it took to stay in shape. I was blessed with good genes and a frantic pace, which combined to keep me fit and trim.

I told her the whole story over a glass of white wine, which made me very giddy, much like that the tequila had the night previously. Those little green pills didn't like alcohol very much, or liked it too well perhaps. Either way, by the time my crying was done, along with my wine, I felt very little pain at all.

"Let's go out tonight," Stacy suggested. "Drink, dance, and throw our worries away."

"Right!" I giggled and rolled my eyes. "I was out last night, remember?"

"So? There's no rule says you can't have fun two nights in a row."

"Ohhhh ... Little do you know!" I grinned. "That is a new rule, one of Jack's."

"Really?" Stacy laughed. "Well ... Rules were meant to be broken, then."

"Nah, I shouldn't." I shook my head, fighting for sanity. "I need to get home and see my kids."

"Oh, they're not going anywhere." She waved that idea away. "Come on, we'll just have a little fun. I'll have you home by midnight."

"I'm not even dressed for it!" I protested.

"I have clothes! Don't worry, we'll fix you up."

"You're a bad influence, Stace," I surrendered with a sigh.

"I know." She wrinkled her nose at me.

Stacy did have a large wardrobe and we were close enough to the same size that I did alright shopping her closet. I wore a pair of pink short-shorts, of all things, and I laughed as I buttoned them closed, turning this way and that in front of the fashion mirror attached to the back of her bedroom door.

"God! Look me, I have a butt!" I grinned and my ass looked nice and I knew it, but usually I had to hide it away under soccer mom clothes.

"You have some legs too!" Stacy grinned. She went for a modest black skirt and matching top, decorated with scarlet roses around her full breasts.

"Yeah." I agreed, smoothing perfumed body lotion along my calves and thighs. I had awesome legs and a gorgeous ass. It didn't even hurt anymore, not after the wine. "Amazing."

I wore a white halter top, a nice one, showing some good cleavage and just a hint of dark nipple as a bra would be wasted beneath it. I borrowed Stacy's makeup and brushed my blonde hair, pulling it back in a loose ponytail and I actually looked twenty-five again, or maybe twenty-six. A college grad student, that's what I looked like, and it was a real contrast from my whorish appearance the night before. I looked almost innocent.

"Hmmm ... The boys are gonna love you, Gina," Stacy decided and I laughed, giving her a shake of my head.

"We're not looking for boys, okay?" I said.

"Right, sure," she agreed too easily. "Men only!"

"What? No! Not men either." I laughed. "I'm married."

"Oh, leave your rings here ... Or just the wedding band, leave your engagement ring on. Guys like that."

"What?" I rolled my eyes.

"I swear, if they think you're getting married, they're desperate to fuck you." Stacy giggled. "Well, they're desperate anyway, but you know what I mean."

"No, I don't." I shook my head. "I don't wanna know either. I'll leave my rings on."

"Suit yourself," she shrugged. "Did you wear them last night?"

"I didn't do anything last night," I said. "I was a good girl."

"Uh-huh." It was Stacy's turn to roll her eyes.

"I swear! Come on." I frowned. "Are we going or not?"

"Oh, now I'm holding you back?" She laughed at me. "Yeah, we're going."

Stacy drove and I just sat back, enjoying the ride, enjoying my buzz. She drove a sports car, a little red corvette, and that reminded me of Jack suddenly. I frowned, feeling the sting of guilt deep in my tummy and I wondered what I was doing. I loved him, I knew that. I hadn't been acting like it though, nor had I been feeling it for some reason. All I'd been able to see lately were his faults and I looked for reasons to blame him for whatever might be bothering me at any given moment.

I knew that and I understood it, but not the reasons why and so I didn't know how to change it. Going out with Stacy though, that wasn't going to change anything. I was suddenly filled with love for the man and that was probably the drugs and wine, but it felt real. It felt like it used to and my heart ached. I wanted to tell Stacy to take us back home, or just to take me home. I looked good and I could make Jack feel good, like he deserved. That's what would change me; get me out of this weird emotional funk I was in regarding my husband. Spending more time with him.

But we were already downtown, already at the dance club and I blinked with some surprise as I realized Stacy had brought me to the same club that Gary had the night previous. I swallowed hard and felt a little paranoid for some reason, like I was revisiting the scene of a crime. Begging to get caught. I wondered if my best friend had brought me her for any specific reason. Like maybe Stacy knew what I'd been up to, but that was ridiculous and I pushed it away with a forced smile.

"Have you been here before?" I asked Stacy.

"Hmmm? Oh yeah, all the time." She smiled back. "It's my favorite."

"Oh." I shrugged at that as the valet opened my door.

The club was exactly as I remembered, like I'd never left, except I was with Stacy now instead of Gary. Her intention, obviously, was to get picked up by a guy and while I'd been unwilling to admit the same, just the fact that I was there seemed proof of my own willingness to cheat on my husband. Still, I liked pretending that I wasn't interested and even telling myself that same thing, working hard to rationalize what I was doing. I was just keeping Stacy company, that's all. Just having fun, nothing more. I'd have a couple drinks and watch people dance. I wasn't up to no good. I wasn't looking to hook up with a strange man for a one night stand. I was just there.

I lied to myself so well that I even believed it for a little while, sitting alone while Stacy danced with a couple different men. I'd turned down three offers and one of those guys had been a serious hunk, making my knees knock under the table. But I'd remembered my husband, seriously, and told them all thanks, but no thanks. I felt quite proud of myself by then and thought I'd finally found the answer. After tonight, I'd go home and love my husband again. Everything would be fine, if I could just stay high all the time.

"Hi. You're sitting all alone!" A fourth man appeared, setting a drink down in front of me, a White Russian, I thought.

"Hey, yeah ... Um..." I was ready to say goodbye, even though he was very decent looking, in a Clark Kent sort of way. Like Superman with glasses.

"We should dance. Come on." He had a great smile too. Perfect teeth.

"Oh, no." I shook my head and gave him my best apologetic smile. "I'm, uh ... waiting for someone. I don't want to dance."

"Okay, well..." He shrugged, bending at the waist so we didn't have to talk quite so loud over the throbbing music. "How about a little blow then?"

"Excuse me?" I widened my eyes at the guy. Who did he think he was, asking me for a blowjob like that?

"Huh? A little coke?" he said, not understanding why I looked so shocked. "You want to do a some with me?"

"Oh." I gasped, finding my breath again. I blinked rapidly and felt my face turning red. "I thought you meant ... Oh, yeah ... Never mind what I thought!"

"What?" He chuckled and smiled with amusement as he caught up. "Oh no! No ... God! I wasn't ... Can we start again?"

"Yeah, maybe." I nodded, having managed to embarrass us both.

"I'm Lance." He put out his well manicured hand. "Would you like to dance with me?"

"Hi. I'm Gina and no, thank you," I replied with a giggle. "I don't really want to dance."

"Okay." He rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb, putting his mouth close to my ear. "Would you like to snort some cocaine with me, Gina?"

"Uh..." I hadn't decided on that yet. I wanted to say no, I really did, but a hit of coke would feel so good right then.

"Come on. We have a booth, we can do some there," he suggested. "Nobody will see."

He tugged gently at my fingers, coaxing me to my feet and I shrugged and smiled, standing up slowly and leaving my purse along with my drinks at the table. Stacy's stuff was there anyway.

"Okay," I agreed. "Just a little."

He led me towards the wall, where the booths were, and he had friends, a pair of twenty-something guys like Lance. They were half drunk and smiling, making room for us. I ended up in the middle, of course, with Lance to my left and Derek on my right. He was blonde and blue and smelled like peppermint for some reason. On the other side of him sat Ron, a tall, well-built black guy. He was bald, which looked surprisingly good. I'd never met a bald guy before.

"Yeah, now we're having a party!" Ron grinned at me and I smiled. Lance was getting his coke out and that's all I was really interested in.

"You're married, huh?" Derek asked me, gesturing at my left hand.

"Yeah," I ssaid with a self-conscious smile. "Married."

"Cool," he nodded. "Where's your husband?"

"Oh..." I giggled nervously and I didn't really want to be reminded of him just then. "He's watching the kids."

"Kids too?" Derek laughed.

"Shit, that's a cool old man you got." Ron chuckled, leaning over his friend. "Let a woman like you out of his sight."

"Oh, yeah. He trusts me." I shrugged, not knowing what else to say.

"Here you go, just turn a little..." Lance said, holding a small metal tin, an Altoids box with several short lines inside it.

He gave me a rolled up hundred, probably wanting to impress me and it had been taped that way, like it was his permanent coke straw. That made me smile and I turned away from the club, bending over like I'd lost something in the cushions. I did the two lines real quickly.

"Ummm..." I blinked rapidly, rubbing my nose with my thumb and sniffing.

"Good huh?" Lance grinned and I felt every hair on my body suddenly standing on end as that coke hit me.

"She likes it," Derek said with a smile. His left hand found my right thigh, stroking me slowly, sliding way up the inside because those shorts were extremely short.

"Here, take a hit on this now," Ron insisted. He held a glass to my mouth, reaching across Derek.

"Head back..." Lance grinned as he put his coke away.

I had no idea what was going on. That coke hammered my brain and I just tilted my head and let Ron pour into my open mouth. It was vodka, like a double shot flavored with pepper, and I had a real mouthful, swallowing hard and then gasping as it burned all the way down.