Chapter 2

It was weird living in the house with someone you had been intimate with for as long as we had and not have the luxury of being able to touch the other person. I did it once when I wasn't thinking--habit I guess. Heidi turned to me hoping that I had forgiven her. I felt nothing and turned away, leaving her with tears in her eyes.

That night when I was out, she used the telephone to call her lover. She indicated she wanted to resume her affair with him. I was gone for several hours and she must have talked for more than an hour. The hour long tape that the bug was attached to ran out while they were still talking. I went to my lawyer the next day and started divorce proceedings.

Just before the next two-week buying trip, Heidi informed me that she would be gone three days this time. I said okay. If she wanted an extra day with her lover, that was all right with me. When she came home, I was curious and asked if she had made any plans. "What do you mean?"

"Are you going to go with him on a more permanent basis? That is what I meant."

"No, his wife won't give him a divorce. You haven't indicated that you want to divorce me so I'm hoping we can still be together."

I went to the desk and handed her the divorce papers that I had prepared. "Is this good enough or do you want to be officially served?"

"No, this will do. I'll get a lawyer the first of the week. Do you want me to move out now?"

"Talk to your attorney. Do whatever he advises."

"You are treating me better than I deserve, Miles, I know that. I haven't heard that you are going around telling anyone I am a cheating wife or a slut, either. You could and there isn't anything I could say to stop you. I understand you talked to Glenna and asked her to stand by me. I appreciate that as well. Sometimes I think she hates me more than you do. Why is that?"

"I think she is more disappointed and feels it worse than me. I've had the luxury of being able to discuss it with someone."

"Maybe I should talk to that person. I don't understand myself sometimes. Why haven't you told the neighbors that you are planning on divorcing me?"

"Look we have a big party coming up on Labor Day. If they found out, the wives would rip you apart and you would have a terrible time. This way you can go and enjoy yourself the same as always. Afterwards we can tell them. Just don't try to hook up with one of the husbands, please."

"I'll behave, I promise. How are we going to split our assets and stuff? The house is the big thing I suppose."

"I think we will most likely have to sell the house. It is too big for either one of us. You have a new car and mine isn't that old. We can split our money down the middle. We have both contributed so it won't be that unequal. The furniture, we both have to find a place to live, so we can take what we need and sell the rest."

"You have this all planned out. I still can't figure why you aren't more upset with me."

"The person I talked to said that if I couldn't accept what you had done and forgive you fully, it was better to cut my losses and move on. That is what I am trying to do. It is with great regret though, and I still hold a special place in my heart for you." Tears came to my eyes, and I had to walk away and out of the room.

An hour later she came to me and rested her hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry Miles. I am just coming to realize how much I have hurt you. You will always be a special guy to me."

Our court hearing was to be on the seventh of September, shortly after the scheduled party. Someone in the neighborhood would hear about it and go down to the courthouse to check. Now that I had filed and Heidi had been served, I had Patrick Sears disconnect the phone taps in the house. Heidi and I got along pretty well. I got horny sometimes and was tempted to slide into bed beside her. There were a couple of times when I had gone to bed and before I went to sleep I heard her pause outside my door. Oh well, no one said this was going to be easy.

Glenna was often at home to visit. We explained our living arrangements and said we got along without shouting at each other or other recriminations. I think I kept going up in my daughter's estimation, for I treated Heidi the same as I had always done. I showed the same respect and consideration for her as before. Glenna knew what her mother had done and she couldn't understand. "Daddy, I can see you still love Mother. Why do you have to get divorced?"

"Sweetheart, I can be your mother's friend, but what she did took away that special feeling I had for her when she was true and mine only. I don't think you can understand that unless something like this, God forbid, should ever happen to you. I think we are managing the best we can.

"In fact I know it is harder on her than on me. She in reality has lost both me and her lover, for he won't, or can't, leave his wife. I still think enough of her to hope she finds someone to fill the hole that both of us are leaving in her life. All that said, we could never get back to what we were before I found out she was cheating."

"You are a special guy Daddy. I love you more than ever because of the way you are treating Mom."

The Labor Day party was at the same neighbor's home as the one earlier in the summer. The one change was in Heidi herself. When all the husbands came buzzing around her, she was polite, but indicated that she was through playing the game as she had before. I staked out my corner of the patio where I usually sat. Audrey Turner came and sat near me and when Mitzy Gabbelli came, late as usual, she parked near me too. Heidi came over and spoke, saying, "Why don't you give the men a hand serving the barbecue? You should help more."

"Looks like I have my orders for the evening. Excuse me ladies." I glanced at Heidi as I worked and as the chance presented itself. She seemed to be carrying on an animated conversation with Audrey and Mitzy. I made up a tray of food and drinks for four and went over and sat in my seat. I received smiles from all three women. It was a very subdued party. At the gatherings before, Heidi was the center of attention which made for an interesting time. Tonight, she stayed close to me.

One couple with young kids left early and other couples were preparing to leave. Heidi said, "Miles, give me your hand. I want to stand on the table."

I handed Heidi up to where she could be seen by everyone. They realized she was going to say something. "I would like to thank all of you for having me and Miles at your parties. This will be my last one. Miles and I are getting a divorce. Our court date is this Friday. We have had some issues and have decided to separate. We are still friends even though shortly we will no longer be husband and wife. In fact we are still living in the same house and will be until the divorce is final and we divide our assets. I am announcing this so you won't read about it and wonder. Don't look for any hidden scandal for you won't find one. Thanks again for the friendship we have had as neighbors."

Tears by this time were running down her face and I put my hand up to keep her steady. I helped her down and we made our way through the silent crowd of neighbors. When we were outside and Heidi composed herself, she said, "That was the only way I could think of to stop a lot of speculation and gossip. Was that okay?"

"You did fine. That took a lot of courage. I wish I had thought of it."

"It wasn't my idea. It was a suggestion from Audrey and Mitzy. They both know what happened and what I did. They promised not to tell and I believe them."

"One of them knew already. I told Audrey at the last party. It was right after I found out about you cheating and even before I had confirmed it. I had to talk to someone and she was looking as lost and lonely as I was feeling."

"I'm glad you did. When I thought about it, I knew someone had to have siphoned off your anger. It had to have been either her or Mitzy."

"Mitzy helped me just by telling me how she felt when she found out her husband was cheating. I didn't tell her you were cheating."

"Well they both know now."

Was I making a big mistake? I was wondering this as I lay in bed thinking. I didn't have to decide tonight. I could wait until just before the final decree was issued if I changed my mind about the divorce. But then I thought of Heidi looking forward for ten years to getting fucked every two weeks by someone other than me that loved her. A man that she wasn't willing to give up until I found out about it. And then when the other man wouldn't have her was when she came to realize how much her husband was hurting. Well, being friends had to be enough for me now and that was even stretching it when I thought about it. The mind just goes round and round getting nowhere.

The house went on the market and within two days there was an offer. We waited and immediately there were more offers. We accepted one that was actually higher than our original asking price, but we had to be out by the second week of December. Our divorce was to be final on the twentieth of the month, so December was going to be busy. I found and leased an apartment in town for six months with the option to extend it for a year.

Heidi went shopping for a place to live and came back saying she had found one. She said she was signing for a year. We had lived in this home for sixteen years. Sixteen Christmases we had always had her parents and mine here to enjoy watching Glenna open her presents. This year we wouldn't be doing that. Glenna was going to spend the holiday with her mother at her grandparents home. I was going to stay with my parents. Sad time, in a way, for all of us.

I had not given my new address to Heidi and she hadn't said where she had taken up quarters. Glenna came and helped us divide up what belongings we had when it came time to move. I hired a moving company and when Heidi's movers arrived we saw that it was the same company. They were confused for when I told them where they were going, it appeared Heidi and I ended up in the same apartment complex. I had number seven and she had number thirty-four.