Chapter 14

Harry's Cambridge term finished ten days later and, following a confirmatory telephone call, he let himself in through the Hoddinots' front door the next morning. He was effusively greeted by the dogs who were swiftly brushed aside by Annette who flung her arms round his neck and gave him a smacking kiss.

"Oh, Harry!" she cried as she released him and grabbed his hand. "It's so brilliant to see you."

She tugged a thunderstruck young man into the kitchen chattering all the way and pushed him into a chair, put the kettle on and then came back to stand behind his chair, put her arms round him and then kiss him again on the cheek. Harry had still not uttered when she danced away from him to make the coffee. She turned to look at him her face alight with happiness and then, seeing the bemused look on his face burst out laughing.

"Oh, my poor Harry," she chortled. "I was allowed to do that under the rules, you know."

"Maybe but I never dreamt that I would actually be attacked with such enthusiasm."

"But I haven't seen you for ages and ages."

"Even so, you took me completely by surprise: a very nice surprise, I assure you, but a very surprising surprise."

"I'm sorry but I couldn't help myself."

"Don't be sorry. You can do that whenever you like. It was just that, well, um, you've never been like that before. I loved it."

Annette blushed and turned to pour the coffee. She put a mug down in front of him and sat down opposite, her face still a picture of joy. She put out her left hand and patted the table.

"I've decided we don't just have to be in the cinema for you to hold my hand."

He covered it quickly with his and she smiled delightedly.

"I'd like to amend the rules," she went on, "but you must agree to the changes because I don't want to make things too difficult for you."

He blew her a kiss across the table. "Go on, Tig," he said with a teasing smile. "Complicate my life."

She smiled back but then looked serious and a trifle shy. "Um ... I'm not sure how to say this but ... um ... Mum says it's my hormones."

Harry nodded reassuringly.

"Well, I've been wanting to experiment a bit."

"I'm not surprised."

She smiled at him gratefully and told him her views about experimenting with him and other young men and then about the evening she had flirted with Richard. She told him about the tempting little voice. She told him Richard's parable. At least that made them both laugh. Finally she told him about Deborah telling her firmly but lovingly that Richard was out of bounds.

"So you see, Harry, that in some ways I'd like to go further with you but I daren't in case I upset you too much." She left unsaid her fear of him giving her up.

"Tig, my sweet, it's time you gave a little bit more thought to your own happiness and development rather than bending over backwards not to hurt me."

"But it could be so unfair and hurtful to you and I'd hate that. I don't want to feel pressurised to do things that I might not like so as not to hurt you."

He smiled at her, not fondly or gently but lovingly and her throat constricted. "You are the most thoughtful and considerate person I know and I love you for it. But you must not let it stop you from developing. If you can't bring yourself to take risks, not stupid crazy risks but calculated risks, you could end up unfulfilled and lead an empty life. Oh, your life would never be empty with your brains and energy but it might still be seriously unfulfilled if you were unable to give and receive the love which you're capable of. And which is natural to you."

"But I'm so frightened."

"I'm not surprised after what that bloody man did to you."

"I've thought of doing things with Lou but that seems unnatural."

"Not necessarily."

"But then I might enjoy some things with her but still get turned off if I did them with a man."

"You might, I suppose.

"Mum backed Richard's parable. She said I needed to experiment with someone responsible."

"So who's the lucky man?"

"There isn't one except you and I can't do that to you," she wailed.

"Why not?" He grinned lecherously. "I'd enjoy it."

That made her smile and she gently smacked his hand. "Because..." and she dried up and looked down.

"Because what?" he asked softly.

"Because ... b-because," she whispered and then looked up, "I love you." She looked down again quickly. "And I can't bear the thought of losing you."

His hand had tightened convulsively on hers and she raised her eyes again. She had never seen him look so happy. Everything about him radiated joy.

"Oh, Tig ... my precious little Tig ... I love you too ... have done for months." He gazed at her. He had to restrain himself yet once more from showing her the love he longed to give her. "I'm never going to give you up. Never! I promise you. I may still be a teenager but I know myself well enough to realise that you are the one person I want to spend my life with. And, young lady," his teasing smile came back, "if you give me up I'll haunt you in the bath."

Annette smiled back and then her face became serious again. "You really mean that, don't you?" He nodded. "And you're not just trying to comfort me?" He shook his head.

"You really meant it too, didn't you?" he said.

"Yes but..."

He cut her off. "You are not dirty. You are not soiled goods. You did not lead him on. You are not unworthy. You are guilty of nothing. You are as pure as the day you were born. I told you I love you and I do: unconditionally, not as a little waif that needs comforting but as a wonderful, intelligent, funny, beautiful girl. Is that enough?"

Annette bit her lip. Her eyes flooded and she raced round the table to him. He only had time to push his chair back before she landed in his lap and flung her arms round his neck. Sobbing with joy and relief she buried her face in his shoulder. Harry, in turn, put his arms round her and gently stroked her hair.

"My darling," he murmured into the top of her head. "My love. My little Tig. My precious one."

She raised her head. "Would you kiss me?" she asked tremulously.