Chapter 17: The Butterfly and the Bee

January 2004, Winter Break

Things settled into what felt like normal after the ski trip. Once safely home and with the parents gone to work during the weekdays, my sisters and I settled into our respective sexual relationships. Emboldened by Mom and Dad's letting us share a bedroom on the trip, Brooke was my most frequent and overt bed partner. She knew she only had me for a few weeks, and she intended to make the most of it. Still, we kept things discreet. We knew our parents wouldn't reprimand us for our activities, but neither did they want it in their face.

Adrienne was also a regular bed partner. But like the last semester at school, we didn't have sex every day. She actually spent most of her time visiting old friends like Candy, Heather, and Lynne, and only came to me once or twice a week to scratch that deep itch inside her.

Even the twins resumed some of their pursuit of me. We had kissing sessions every now and again. A couple of times I woke up in the morning with a 14-year- old's lips wrapped around my erection. Once, Brooke was in the bed with me; and when she woke up, she promptly leaned over and started giving the twins pointers.

And of course, Brandi and I developed our purely platonic relationship. We were still affectionate with hugs and even chaste pecks on the lips. But the sexual tension between us was gone, leaving just our mutual respect and loving support.

There was also one incident of note. The High Schoolers returned to classes before Brandi, Adrienne, and I did. While what happened didn't allow me any purely personal satisfaction, I was still quite happy with the outcome.

It seemed that Brooke and some of her Senior acolytes had taken it upon themselves to blacklist Dexter Walker for what he'd done to Eden the previous month. Word was already buzzing around campus about the Junior's attempted rape of a Freshman cheerleader. And more fuel was added to the fire when a second girl accused him as well.

Brooke then took things a step further by taking a page from Adrienne's book and delivering the swift kick of vengeance to Dexter's balls. She even wore pointy heels that first day of class for just the occasion. Dexter would be out of commission for a couple of weeks at least. Brooke got suspended two days for fighting. And I got to have threesomes with my little sister and Adrienne for those two days.

It was all good...

JANUARY 2004, SOPHOMORE YEAR

Even though we'd just left our actual home some six hours earlier, it still felt like coming home as I pulled onto the cracked asphalt of the single-file driveway running next to the Berkeley house. I pulled up behind Dayna's 3-year-old Impala and Dawn's older Chevy and came to a stop, putting the car in park and turning off the engine. I then sagged back against the seat and exhaled, "I'll never get used to that drive."

"I offered to take over after lunch," Adrienne rubbed my shoulder. "Besides, technically it's still MY car."

"Technically?" I arched an eyebrow at her.

"Well you certainly drive it more than I do," she giggled. And then she popped open her door and folded down the seat, bending her 5'10" frame to crawl back and gently stir Brandi awake.

My big sister grimaced and grumbled but cracked open her eyes. "We're here?" she asked.

"We're here," Adrienne confirmed. Then she backed out and circled around to the trunk.

I had already popped it open and was pulling out suitcases. Then grabbing the two heaviest ones (Adrienne's and Brandi's, of course), I trundled around to the front of the house and up the steps onto the porch.

The door opened before I got to it and Dayna stepped out, quickly hopping up to me and giving me a welcoming hug. "Hey, Ben."

My hands were still on the suitcase handles so I didn't hug her back. I replied a quick, "Hey, Dayna" and then she was already past me on her way to the girls.

I left Brandi's suitcase at the base of the stairs and deposited Adrienne's just outside her bedroom door. I was then about to head back out for more luggage when a shock of blonde hair caught my attention in the corner of my eye. Dawn was standing in the doorway to my bedroom.

For some reason, she looked at me with an expression of surprise, as if she didn't recognize me. And rather than approach me immediately, she hung back in the doorway with that puzzled look, biting her lip nervously.

"Hey you," I began slowly and turned to face her.

"Hey," she replied hesitantly, her eyebrows furrowing.

"What's wrong?"

She blinked a few times and then shook her head, all of a sudden clearing away that momentary awkwardness. She smiled and stepped forward, opening her arms to me. I moved forward as well and we came together in the hallway, arms wrapped tightly around each other in the firmest, fiercest hug imaginable. I didn't know why, but I was squeezing her with almost all of my strength, and she accepted it hungrily and squeezed me back even harder.

"Gawd, I missed you," Dawn sighed and pushed her nose into the crook of my neck.

"It's only been four weeks."

"I know. But it feels like it's been forever. I felt like I didn't even recognize you when you walked in."

"Same old me."

Dawn leaned back, her hands still on my shoulders, peering into my eyes. "No. There's something a little different about you."

If there was, I didn't recognize it. "Maybe you need to get your eyes checked."

Dawn giggled and moved back into my arms. We hugged fiercely again, and Dawn exhaled happily. "Mmm ... Welcome back, Ben."

I sighed happily and smelled the familiar sweet scent of her hair. "It's good to be back."

It started off just like any other ordinary day. School had just started and we were getting into the daily grind of classes, homework, and studying. My social life seemed to pick up right where it had left off the previous semester. Dawn, Ryan, Gwen, Robin, Bert, and I would meet up at Dawn's and Ryan's apartment in the afternoons to hang out. Adrienne would come by when she didn't have a sorority event. And I got a few phone calls from Tri-Delts who wanted to know if I was looking for company.

Like I said, the Wednesday started off like an ordinary day. Dawn and I went to class. We even had Bert in our Macroeconomics course as well. And Professor Ice was teaching it again. At the end of the day we got together as a group for dinner. And then after dinner we launched into our homework for the night.

"Real GDP can be decomposed into four component parts," I read from the text. "What are they?"

"Aggregate expenditures on consumption, investment, government, and net exports," Dawn rattled off.

"Good. And the model that considers the relationship between these expenditures and current real national income is?"

Dawn had this one easily, responding, "Income-Expenditure."

"Right. And Keynesian theory..."

"Kayn-zian, not Keen-zian," Bert interrupted us from his spot on the couch. "You may be able to remember every damn thing you read, but that does shit for your pronunciation," he drawled.

"Whatever. It's spelled with an 'e'." I waved him off. "Besides, we're not taking oral exams."

"I've got your oral exam right here," Gwen smirked at me, her eyebrows waggling.

I sighed and looked around. "Can we focus on finishing this first? Sex can wait until later."

"Did BEN just say that?" Gwen sat up and looked over at Dawn. "You're right. He IS different."

I sighed and obviously ogled Gwen, who had stripped away her winter coat and was wearing just a skimpy tank-top inside the heated apartment. "I'll still fuck you within an inch of your life if you're interested ... AFTER I'm done with my homework."

"I'm down for right now if you want," Bert chirped to Gwen.

Robin reached out and smacked her boyfriend. "You're such a slut."

Bert just grinned at Gwen, making suggestive looks with his eyebrows before Robin sighed and smacked her boyfriend again. This time there was a little more heat in her attack. "I just KNEW that night would change all of us," Robin complained bitterly. "Give a guy an inch of room and he'll think you'll let him fuck around whenever the hell he wants."

"I'm just kidding, baby," Bert rubbed Robin's knee.

"No, you're not," Robin barked accusingly. "If Gwen offered to take you into the spare room thirty seconds ago you would have gone."

Bert's jaw dropped. "No, I wouldn't!"

Robin glared at him witheringly.

"Well ... I ... I would have totally checked with you first."

I winced for Bert, already knowing where this was going.

"Checked with me? Hah! So you WANT to fuck Gwen again, huh? One time wasn't enough! So last night when we were together, were you fantasizing about her? Or maybe Dawn? Is that it?"

"Come ON, Robin! Gimme a break. I'm not fantasizing about anyone but you! It's just that ... I..."

"What? What?" Robin pressed. "I'm not good enough for you anymore?"

"Oh, come ON! Like you haven't had the stray thought about Ben or Ryan in the last month. I HEARD you mumbling Ben's name in your sleep a week ago. What kind of a dream was THAT?"

"Even IF I did, it was a DREAM. I can't help my subconscious. But you're wide awake! And you pull this shit on me and we-"

"I think we need to get out of here for a bit," I leaned over and whispered to Dawn. She nodded and looked at Gwen. The three of us tried to pack up as quietly as possible, but it really didn't matter since the fighting couple wasn't paying any attention to us.

"It was YOUR idea to try swinging in the first place!" Bert complained.

"I was DRUNK! I didn't mean it! And I don't remember YOU saying anything about-"

The three of us scooted out of the room, leaving an oblivious Bert and Robin to continue their fight. Only breathing a sigh of relief once the door was closed behind us.

"Head over to your place?" Gwen asked me.

I nodded and glanced at Dawn. "Better call Ryan so he doesn't walk in on that."

Dawn nodded and fished out her cell phone. But before she dialed, she looked at me and Gwen and asked, "Sure you two don't want a little private time before Ryan and I show up there?"

I arched an eyebrow and glanced at Gwen. It wasn't that I was against the idea of having sex with our pretty friend. but special occasions were one thing; a casual hookup like this just seemed...

"I don't think so," Gwen stated first before looking over at me. "I don't want to make a habit of this. We're friends ... maybe even special friends sometimes ... but let's not complicate things by making anything even remotely regular." Gwen jerked her thumb back to the door where we could still hear Robin and Bert yelling at each other. "The last thing I want is for our friendship to turn into that."

I nodded. "Agreed."

"So let's just get to your place and finish our work," Gwen said. "Listening to you two talking about Keenzian or Kaynzian or whatever will definitely put me out of the mood."

Brandi's and Dayna's crew looked up as Gwen, Dawn, and I walked into the house. It was still the first week back at school and everyone said hello as we meandered in and scoped out space to put our books.

"What brings you guys here?" Angela Chan asked in curiosity.

"Coming to flirt with the older women?" Kerri Trainor added with suggestive eyebrow waggles.

I winked at Kerri. Gwen answered for us. "Bert and Robin are having some ... difficulties. We just wanted to give them space."

"Ahh," Dayna nodded knowingly. She'd been around for several of Bert and Robin's famously LOOONG fights when they would hole themselves up in Dawn's or my bedroom last year when my crew still hung around the house.

"Pull up a chair," Erica Jackson offered by the dining table.

"You can sit in my lap," Monique St. Claire told me with a giggle.

I smiled. It was good to be home.

So Dawn, Gwen, and I sat at the dining table and spread out our books. Julie Carpenter decided she was done with her studying and left the dining table to give us a third seat, moving over to the couch to join some of the others watching TV. And the room quieted down as the piano opening to Phantom Planet's "California" sounded off, and I looked up to see the opening credits of "The OC" on FOX.

I rolled my eyes. I'd LIVED in Orange County and no one ever actually called it "The OC". It was just "OC" or "Orange County". The credits finished and the show went to commercial, and I decided to go ahead and comment to that effect. "The real thing is NOTHING like the show."

"What?" Angela turned around and smirked at me. "You didn't spend all your high school days sunning on the beach chasing amazingly hot girls? Or getting into random fistfights? Or riding around in expensive cars?"

I blinked. Actually... "Well, uh..." I muttered, thinking of Adrienne and Candy and fighting with Drew and... "It's not that crazy every WEEK," I finished lamely.

The girls giggled and Erica complained, "We all know it's just a Hollywoodized version of the real thing. There're no black people on the show."

I shrugged. "There aren't any black people in Newport Beach, either."

"You can't be serious," Erica shot back.

"Well, not ZERO black people," I admitted. "But there was a census. Newport Beach is only 0.5% black, and it's 92% white. So the TV show isn't that far off."

Erica, who grew up in Oakland, just looked at me like I came from Crazyworld.

I blushed and offered, "Well, my hometown is 30% Asian..."

Julie interrupted everybody by declaring, "Shh. It's back. Ooh, I HATE that Oliver..."

I shook my head and went back to my studies. We were used to studying while others were watching TV or playing video games, and Dawn and I quickly got back into rhythm. But twenty minutes later, the doorbell rang.

About half of us picked our heads up and looked around. Dawn got up and said, "Must be Ryan."

Gwen and I nodded and Dawn left. But a minute later, she came back and said in a quiet voice. "Ben, I think you'd better come here."

Furrowing my eyebrows, I looked questioningly at my best friend. I couldn't read anything in her expression other than that she was gravely serious, and I got up and headed out. Everyone else was occupied in their own studies or with the TV show.

It wasn't Ryan at the door. The person there was about a foot shorter, female, and had dark auburn hair. "Paige?" I exclaimed in surprise as I came down the hallway.

It was only when I got to the doorway that I realized she had rows and rows of tears rolling down her cheeks, along with what seemed to be the remains of a black eye, days old. Her arms were crossed over her own waist and she was shivering, even though she wore a heavy coat and it wasn't really that cold outside. I knew instantly that something was very, very wrong. "Paige, what happened?"

"B- Ben ... Uh, can I come in?" she asked hesitantly. There was no trace of the bravado she'd displayed before me the last few times we'd seen each other. Gone was the rebellious, self-destructive, bitchy tramp of last semester. In her place was a little girl frightened out of her wits.

"Of course, of course," I held my arm out to her and she came in. She shivered again when I wrapped my arm around her, shrinking away from me. But when I pulled back, afraid I'd upset her, she immediately lunged into my body and wrapped her arms around me. And there, she started sobbing big heaving cries of despair while shuddering uncontrollably.

I looked up at Dawn, who just stared wide-eyed at us and shrugged helplessly. I tilted my head, indicating that we should go to my room. And then Dawn led the way as I half-carried Paige there.

Once inside, Dawn closed the door as I sat Paige on the bed. Dawn went to sit beside her while I squatted in front of Paige and asked again, "Paige, what happened?"

The petite redhead bit her lip and looked away from me, still crying and shuddering. She wrung her hands together and looked ready to run ... somewhere ... anywhere ... But I let my hands rest on her knees and Dawn rubbed her back until she finally looked up at me with dull blue eyes and said, "I'm sorry. I didn't know where else to go."

"You're always welcome here. I told you that before."

She nodded and whimpered. "I didn't know what else to do."

"We'll figure it out."

"How? There's no figuring THIS out!"

I was striving to be patient and project a sense of calm, but inside I was wondering what the heck was going on. I patted her knees and reassured her, "We'll do our best." Then I reached a hand up to her face and held her cheek, inspecting the black eye.

"Who gave this to you?"

"My boyfriend," she whimpered. "Ex-boyfriend," she clarified. "He was livid when he found out."

"Found out what?"

Paige quivered and bit her lip again, looking down between us. Then after taking a deep breath, she flicked her eyes up to me and said, "I'm pregnant."

I had a strange sense of déjà vu. My eyes went wide. My hands felt clammy. But at least this time I didn't pass out. In fact, I got a hold of myself pretty quickly. Maybe it was because I'd been through this once before. As soon as Paige had uttered the dreaded P-word, I'd had a flashback to Allie Sanders sobbing on the couch back after our Junior Year of High School.

Maybe it was because this time, I was absolutely certain the kid wasn't mine.

So after a second, I slid my hands over Paige's and separated them, squeezing reassuringly. "Okay. Tell me everything."

Paige shivered and took a deep breath. And then she started unspooling her tale, haltingly and a little out of order. "I found out about a week ago, right when I got back to campus. My period was due right after New Year's, actually. I'm almost always like clockwork. Every four weeks: boom, there it is. But I was late. I'm never late. But I couldn't take a pregnancy test, not in parents' house. And I wasn't sure how to sneak it around them. So I just had to wait ... and wait ... and wait ... I was scared as all hell, but I had to wait. And then literally like five minutes after they dropped me off at school, I walked down to the drugstore and bought a test." She stopped and took a deep breath, looking ready to start crying again. "Somebody had knocked me up."

I looked at Dawn for a moment, who just stared back at me with the same uncertainty I was feeling. I looked back to Paige. "You said 'somebody'. Does that mean you don't think it's your ex-boyfriend?"

Paige shook her head in the negative. "That's why he's so pissed. I didn't know what to do when I found out and he told me he loved me and so I thought I could tell him and he'd help me figure out what to do," she rambled. Then she paused and pinched her lips nervously. "But the thing is: he never wanted to risk knocking me up, so he NEVER fucked my pussy. Not once. Not even when I told him it was my safe time. So he knew he didn't knock me up. And he didn't know I was fucking other guys. So when I told him I was pregnant, he just punched me, called me a whore, and then kicked me out."

I sighed, holding my hand up to make Paige wait a second while I processed her rambling. "When was this?"

Paige sank. "Two days ago."

I looked at her black eye. Two days seemed about right. I took a deep breath and then asked, "So who IS the father?"

Paige blanched and avoided my eyes. She mumbled something so soft that I couldn't hear.

"I'm sorry," I sighed. "Say again?"

She took a deep breath and looked at me plainly. And in a louder voice, she said, "I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"There were ... a few guys..." She bit her lip again and looked down in shame. Dawn just rubbed her back.

I sighed and started doing the math in my head. If her period was due after New Year's, then her previous period would have been at the beginning of December. That put her most fertile period right around Finals ... and the last party at the end of Finals. "The black guy you met at our party?" I ventured.

Paige exhaled and kept studying the floor. "Maybe. I went back and added them up myself. There were five guys all around that time. Two of them were black, so even if the baby turns out half-black I still won't know."

"Five?" I asked incredulously.

Paige whimpered, Dawn glared at me, and I bit my tongue. I'd certainly banged more than five girls around the same time, so I had no room to talk.

I took a deep breath and Paige started wringing her hands. "Ben, what do I do? I can't face my parents like this! They'll disown me. They'll excommunicate me. They'll stone me!"

"They won't stone you," I sighed, and then took another breath, realizing that I didn't know how fundamental her parents were. "Will they?"

"I don't know!" Paige whined.

Dawn glared at me again and I winced, ordering myself to get back on track. "Look, we'll talk this over Paige," I assured her. Then I held her hands tightly and looked her in the eyes. "Paige, you DO know what the most practical thing to do here is."

"I won't have an abortion," she barked. "I can't. I'm Catholic!"

I winced. I wasn't going to start arguing her religious beliefs again. But I had to admit that Allie Sanders getting an abortion had made a lot of potential headaches go away. Maybe I could still talk Paige into it?

"Okay, Red. Okay..." I stood up, stretching out my legs. Fortunately, I was used to spending a lot of my time in that position, usually while eating a girl out, so my legs didn't hurt very much. I pulled Paige into my arms and hugged her reassuringly. "We'll figure it out."

Paige, Dawn, and I kept talking for another hour before the petite redhead literally fell asleep in my arms. We hadn't made any headway in deciding what to do, but at least she had calmed down. She wasn't expected to see her parents again until the end of the academic year in May, so we had some time. Of course, nothing we could do would hide a 6-month bump if she decided to keep the baby.

I gently laid Paige down in my bed and came back out with Dawn. In the hallway, we stood and talked quietly together. "Oh my god..." I sighed. I didn't believe, but the exclamation seemed appropriate given the circumstances.

Dawn nodded and patted my shoulder. "You did the best you could. She's calmed down and she seems to be sleeping okay."

I nodded and squeezed Dawn's hand. "Thanks for being in there with me."

"Of course," she nodded. "I told you I would be."

I arched an eyebrow.

Dawn smiled. "Don't you remember?"

I shook my head.

"It was right after Paige left with that guy at the End of the Year party. You tried to rape me, remember that?"

I winced and nodded. "Sorry."

"You've already apologized enough. My point is that I promised I'd do whatever I could to help you with her. I still think on some level that she's just a messed up girl who leeched off you and doesn't deserve this kind of support from you. But..." She took a deep breath. "I know that she's important to you. And what that girl is going through I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I'm glad you're around to help her when she needs you."

I smiled and pulled her to me in a hug. "Thank you, Dawn. Thank you."

Midway through the hug, I felt the presence of someone else behind us. Peering back, I saw Ryan who was staring at the two of us with his eyes mere slits. He glared at me and growled, "Would someone like to tell me what you two were doing inside that bedroom all this time?"

I sighed. And I'd thought this was going to be an ordinary day.

Ryan needed to peek inside and see that yes, Paige Jacobsen was indeed sleeping in my bed, before he relaxed over his paranoia that Dawn and I had been fucking the evening away. That started a mini-argument where Dawn complained about her boyfriend not trusting her after everything we'd already been through, especially given that Dawn had CALLED Ryan to come over to the house.

Fortunately, everyone else needed a lot less convincing. All of Dayna's and Brandi's friends had seen us escorting Paige past the living room and into my bedroom. And Adrienne just took my word at face value and invited me to spend the night with her. I gladly accepted and we made love one time before falling asleep in each other's arms.

The next day, I escorted Paige back to her dorm room to get changed and freshened up. Paige promised me she'd be fine on her own getting around the rest of the day, and I then headed out to meet Dawn for our classes.

I didn't see or hear from the petite redhead for the rest of the day. I assume she went through her usual routine, getting to classes and finding food. I'm not sure where she went afterwards, or whether she was still hanging out with whatever friends she'd made during the last semester. I inwardly hoped she wasn't smoking weed; it certainly wouldn't be good for the baby. But I did my best to remind myself that I'd done my part to help her out for a night and it was yet to be seen how much more she would want or need from me. Certainly, I thought I'd already done more for her than a typical ex-boyfriend would have done. And I hoped that a few more times visiting together and talking would eventually help Paige decide for herself how best to proceed.

Turned out she was looking for more than that. I got home from Dawn's and Ryan's apartment to find Paige sitting in the living room, talking to Dayna's and Brandi's friends. There was a suitcase conspicuously propped up outside my bedroom door. And a half-guilty/half-pleading expression was on the little redhead's face. She stood and walked over to me in the hallway, staring down at my feet and nervously shifting her weight from side to side. And in the quietest, most innocent voice, she asked, "Can I stay here with you for a while?" Then she looked up at me with big, puppy-dog eyes.

I was a goner. I already knew it. But it wasn't just my house. I took a deep breath and stammered, "Uh, I don't know. I mean, how long were you thinking?"

"Not long. Just until I get this figured out. But I really don't want to be alone right now. I need to have people around me I know, people who might actually care about me." She blushed and looked around. "I need to be around YOU."

I picked my eyes up and looked into the living room. "It's not entirely my call. Actually, the house is being leased by Dayna and Brandi and-"

"Pssht," Brandi waved me off. "It's not like she wasn't practically living here while you two were dating."

"We're not dating this time," I pointed out.

"Same difference," Brandi shrugged. "Long as she's out of the way."

"What, you're gonna turn a pregnant girl out onto the streets?" Dayna arched an eyebrow at me.

I rolled my eyes. "Of course not. And going back to her own dorm room is not the same as being 'turned out onto the streets'." I sighed and looked straight at Paige. "It's not that you aren't welcome here; you are."

"Just for a little while. Please don't make me go out there on my own," she whimpered.

I liked my friend and I wanted to support her, but I couldn't spend EVERY night dealing with her pregnancy dramas. I had my own studies, my own life, and a lot of other girls I wanted in that bedroom besides her. Heck, Josephine Beart had already called, making comments about going for a trifecta tonight. "I can't impose on Adrienne every night, for one thing," I reasoned.

"If it's about beds, I'll sleep out here," Paige replied.

I waved to Brandi and Dayna. The couches were public space and wouldn't be as 'out of the way' as they may have originally thought. But both older girls just shrugged.

"And I'll make it up to you. I'll cook. I'll clean. I'll pull my weight. Please?"

I sighed. Little warnings in Dawn's voice about how Paige latched onto me before; "leeched off me" as she put it. But I couldn't think of any concrete reason not to let her hang around. Clearly, she was a lost, frightened girl, looking for something supportive and stable around her. I wanted to help, and this was one way I could do so.

"If it's okay with everyone else, I don't see why not."

As much as I just wanted to open my heart and arms to Paige, I had to be practical about the situation. Paige went ahead and put her suitcase in my room and her toiletries into the bathroom, but she wasn't given a drawer and she promised she wouldn't try to take over my closet. This was a temporary thing and she could return to her dorm room to swap out supplies whenever she needed.

Also, there were limitations on access to my room. The simple fact was that I had a busy social life, and not all of my sexual activities were out at the girl's place. Already this past week, Jocelyn Canilao and Kelly Park had visited the house to make up for the encounter we never had after the End of the Year party. I'd also learned to value my privacy after the last time Adrienne and Paige had shared a room with me at the end of our Freshman year. So pretty much the only times Paige was to be in my bedroom was when I invited her or if she just needed somewhere to change while I wasn't occupying it.