Chapter 2

"Shauna, why don't we cut the small talk and get to the bottom-line, okay? Life's too short. What I really want to know is, is it true what they say about him having a pendulum the size of a grandfather clock?"

Shauna shifted the cell to her other ear and signed the credit card slip without even looking at it. The Crossword cashier smiled at her as he handed back her card and the receipt. Shauna made her way to the collection counter. A couple of people browsing the stack of new arrival books near the entrance gave her dirty looks. She distinctly heard one of them say, "I don't know how some people can dress like that. That too in a bookstore." She wondered what the hell they meant. Was there a special dress-decent code for bookstores? She shrugged. She was used to other women oozing jealousy about the way she dressed. And the spaghetti-strap Gucci she had on did make it sort of obvious that she wasn't wearing a stitch of lingerie beneath.

"So?" she said into her cellphone. "Is it true or what?"

"The bottom-line is that he's got a great bottom. What else do you want me to say?" Sherie's voice was partially obscured by the sound of children laughing and water splashing. Shauna could picture her twin sis at the Breach Candy Club swimming pool right now, in her string bikini, sitting on a lawn chair after her evening swim, sipping a Pina Colada and giving teenage American boys hard-ons everytime they looked up from the pool.

"Come on, sis," Shauna said impatiently as she handed the clerk at the counter her bill. He took it slowly, ogling her low-cut front and ample display of leg. "We're twins, aren't we? So I know we're supposed to be, like, telepathic or something. But we're not. So why don't you just tell me what I want to know and stop acting coy."

"Who's acting coy?" Sherie sounded like she was enjoying teasing Shauna. "It's just that there are some things you can't discuss with anybody. Even your twin sister."

"Bullshit." The clerk handing Shauna the bag glanced up, surprised. She shook her head to indicate that she wasn't speaking to him. "Listen, sweetie. The first time we lost our virginity, we lost it together. Same night, same man, right?"

"Uh-huh. So?" Sherie sipped her drink. She liked the look of the guy on the diving board. And from the way he kept glancing over at her, he probably liked the look of her too.

"So confess. Tell all. Unburden your breast."

"My breast is completely unburdened." Sherie glanced down. With the Brazil-style string bikini she had on, that was almost literally true!

"Okay, okay," Shauna took her bags and smiled briefly at the security guard who leaped to open the door for her. From the expression on his face, she could see his day was made. "Just end the suspense and tell me. How well constructed is he?"

"Constructed?" Sherie giggled. "What are we talking about here? A man or a mall?"

"What's the difference? They're both built for our entertainment, aren't they?" Shauna emerged from the building and walked to her car.

Rush hour traffic streamed by on Bhulabhai Desai Road. On the footpath near her Opel Astra, a Maharashtrian woman with a sacred cow offered her a handful of grass. She got in the car, rummaged around in her handbag, found a fifty-rupee note, handed it to the bai, and told her to feed the cow for her.

"Well, actually, I don't know why you're asking me this in the first place. Why don't you just use the formula?" Sherie was teasing her now, she knew.