Chapter 1: The blind date

I was sitting outside the Old Hall Inn, a pub in Threshfield, awaiting the arrival of my blind date, Sarah. I had my friends, Derek and Catherine, to thank for me being in that predicament.

It had started a couple of weeks ago when I asked for Derek's help, we helped each other on our house renovation projects. I needed a hand lifting some new beams into place at my house in Arncliffe. As usual, he needed Cath's approval and I got a call from her the next day.

At this point it is probably worth describing Cath, my 'ideal woman'. She is thirty-six (six years younger than Derek), voluptuous and has a huge pair of boobs which she shows to maximum advantage. She is chubby, not fat, just well padded, and has long brown curly hair which frames a pretty face and, most of the time, a winning smile. She always dresses well and seems to know how to look good. If she wasn't married to Derek I would make a move straight away, but she is, and don't get me wrong, I never have and never would make a move on her.

Cath got straight to the point, as always she was direct, "If you want Derek to help you next Saturday you need to do me a favour."

"OK, no problem," I replied, not for a moment expecting what was coming next.

"Take Sarah out, it will effectively be a blind date. You only have to do this once and there is no other commitment."

I had heard Cath talk about Sarah, they were quite close, they were half-sisters and Sarah had been living in Halifax. Beyond that I knew nothing about her and had never seen her. But, if her looks and personality were anything like Cath, I would be more than happy to take her out. However, there was a nagging doubt in my mind that there was something wrong with her. After all, why did she need Cath to try and set her up.

I asked why the blind date, Cath explained that Sarah hadn't had much luck with men and the last man in her life did a runner without even leaving a note, no explanation, nothing.

"OK, I'll do it," I replied, "but I hope I don't regret it." I wasn't going to refuse Cath anyway.

The arrangements were made, Cath said she would be dropping her off at six o'clock the following Friday evening. I would then drop her back at their house in Grassington. I was to spend a minimum of five hours with her.

Later in the week Cath gave me a bit of a pep talk. "Give her time," she said, "remember she hasn't had much luck with men but I think you'll like her." This immediately put me on my guard, but then I thought, what harm can it do. I get Derek's help without upsetting Cath, something I would never do, they were the only friends that really stuck by me when I divorced my ex, Julie, five years ago.

So that is how I found myself sitting outside the Old Hall Inn at five to six that Friday evening.

A few minutes after sitting down I saw Cath's car pull in to the car park, Sarah got out and walked over to my table. She was wearing what looked like a set of overalls! You know, dungarees, with a bright orange long sleeve top. I saw a girl that looked to be quite a bit younger than Cath, similar build, but the clothes, ugh!. She was also mixed race, that was a surprise. Her hair was long, and curly, a bit like Cath's. She had a milky coffee complexion which was actually very attractive.

She came up to me and said, "You must be Robert, I'm Sarah," and shook my hand. I waved to Cath as she pulled out of the car park and turned back to Sarah, "I am. Look, what would you like to do, have you eaten?"

"No." she replied, "have you?" I had eaten a light snack at four but I could certainly eat again, so I asked her what she would like.

"Italian, or English," she said, "I hate Chinese."

"What about the food here, it's OK." She nodded so we went into the bar, studied the menu, and decided to eat there. I wanted to talk but the noise in the bar just about ruled out an intelligent conversation so we sat in the dining room.

I had made several attempts to start a conversation whilst we looked at the menu but each attempt was met with a brief yes or no. I tried again in the dining room but at this point things started to go downhill. Sarah started out by saying, "I only agreed to go out with you because I need Derek to go down to Halifax in the van and collect the rest of my stuff on Sunday. Cath insisted that this blind date was the price so I am here. I wouldn't be here unless I needed Derek's help." She paused for a few seconds then continued in a much nastier tone, "I hate the way she has forced us together, and I am not going to let you anywhere near me so if you were expecting a shag you are out of luck." Who mentioned a shag, I was trying to be pleasant, I found Sarah attractive to look at in spite of her clothes, but what an attitude!

I hadn't intended telling Sarah about Cath setting me up but the way Sarah spoke it was obvious she didn't want to be there and her whole attitude was one of 'lets just get it over with'. I decided to tell it like it was, "I need Derek to help me tomorrow and Cath insisted that this date was the price of his help. I don't know what she is playing at but if you don't want to be here that's fine with me. Let's just have a meal then I'll take you back to Derek and Caths."

Sarah's response startled me, "I knew you wouldn't find me attractive."

I was at a loss and got a bit annoyed. In a much louder voice than I intended I said, "I find the outside attractive. The problem is what's underneath, I am not sure about that." At this point we were rescued by the arrival of our main courses.

We both started eating, in silence, and it must have been nearly five minutes before Sarah said, "You can't take me home before eleven, Cath said she would be checking up and if I cut the date short she said I would be carrying my stuff from Halifax on the bus. I haven't got a car."

Again I wondered what Cath's game was. It reminded me of the game where you are handcuffed to someone for a few hours.

"OK, we have to make the best of the next four hours." I said thoughtfully, "I have an idea that might be good for all of us. I'm willing to use this time to move your stuff with my four wheel drive and trailer, we'd just have to go back to my house to get them. That would save Derek a job on Sunday and means we stay in Cath's good books. Where are you moving to?"

Sarah replied, with a bit of an attitude, "The trouble is then I will owe you. How long is it going to take? I just want to get home!"

It was hard but I ignored her attitude and said, "I am offering for Derek's sake. I don't want you to owe me a damned thing, OK!. Now, how much stuff do you have and where does it need to be moved to?"

"Not a lot," she answered, with a bit of a scowl. "The place was furnished, probably a dozen boxes and some clothes. Then there's a TV and a king size bed and mattress which breaks down to move. I've rented a flat in Skipton."

At this point I was really at the end of my tether. We had finished eating and I called for the bill, I didn't even offer Sarah a sweet.

Sarah gave me a look that would curdle milk and I decided that, promise or not, Sarah was being delivered straight back to Derek and Cath's house if she didn't accept my offer to help move her stuff. The only reason I was offering was because I felt guilty about Derek giving up his Saturday to help me, and then half of Sunday to move his moody half-sister in law.

I said to Sarah "Look, I am going to ring Derek on his mobile, I am doing this for him. This blind date thing was a bad idea, but at least I can save him Sunday as he is helping me in the morning."

I paid the bill, and went out to the car park with Sarah following. As soon as I was outside I got my mobile out and rang Derek, trying to keep out of Sarah's earshot.

"Hi Derek, it's Rob, can you talk"

"Yes, she's out. Why, isn't it going well?"

"No, about as badly as it could. We still have four hours to go and I'm almost ready to bring her back and face the wrath of Cath. Is she really watching us?"

"Yes, apparently she thinks you will both try to wriggle out but she's playing cupid and wants to make you spend time together."