Chapter 31

Victoria repeated her routine of yesterday and came straight to Mark's flat after putting her car away.

No words were said as they embraced. Mark's stomach turned over at holding this delicate but muscular little nymph in his arms. She smelt like she did yesterday, of horses and sweat, but her own personal aroma came through. It was warm. It was animal. It was Victoria: soft, feminine but with a sharp tang. He looked down at her. Her face had lost the pallor of a town dweller and there was more pink to her cheeks. Her skin had browned and the freckles on her nose showed more. Her hair had lightened.

"You become more beautiful each day you leave London behind," he murmured.

Victoria gave him an extra squeeze.

"Darling, I love you so much. I can't tell you."

"How much?" she asked smiling. "More than the moon? More than the stars?"

"You're teasing me. How much do you love me?"

She gulped. "I can't tell you either. It's ... it's ... I can't describe it, darling, except it's overwhelming. I can't conceive life without you."

Mark tightened his arms round her and nuzzled her hair. " My parents have got a record of Fred Astaire singing 'Night and Day'."

"So have mine. I love it."

"'And my torments won't be through till I spend my life making love to you day and night, night and day'," he sang.

She smiled up at him. "My thoughts too, my darling, but you missed out the bit before: 'There's such hungry yearnings and burnings inside of me'."

"Yes, and I've got them too."

"That's what you said we needed to talk about last night, isn't it?"

"Yes. Cuppa?"

"Yes please."

There was silence while Mark made the tea. Each was deep in thought.

Mark put two mugs on the table and sat down opposite Victoria and looked at her. It took his breath away again. Even when she was serious and preoccupied she was stunning in his eyes.

"Where do we start?" she asked looking slightly frightened.

"I don't know really. But every time I look at you I think how lovely you are. And then my tummy turns over and I think how lucky I am that you love me as you do. And all I want to do is grab you and hold you to me and kiss the living daylights out of you."

Victoria relaxed a little but still looked down. She giggled and then looking up at him through her long eyelashes she said, "Well we're at the same starting point." Then she blushed and looked down again.

"So then," said Mark, "when we've been kissing for a few minutes I start to get excited."

"I know." She met his eyes briefly and looked down again quickly. "I've felt it."

This time it was Mark's turn to blush. "I'm sorry," he said, "but I can't help it."

"No need to be sorry. It's rather flattering."

He smiled lovingly at her. "The trouble is there's the urge to go further like we did last night. Don't get me wrong I loved every minute of it but if you hadn't left when I made you I don't think you'd have left a virgin."

She had recovered her poise now and was looking him in the eye. "I get turned on too," she said. "Very turned on. I don't get hard like you but everything down there gets warm and tingly and last night you took me over the top. That was the first time apart from when I've played with myself. When I got to bed I thought to myself, 'If it's like that when he plays with my tits what's it going to be like when we go all the way?' and I started to long to."

"So did I but I don't think we should yet."

"Why not? We both love each other."

"Yes, darling, but for the same reason that we've decided not to get engaged yet."

She looked him in the eye for a good half minute. He looked back.

"Do you think it's that important?" she asked finally.

"Are you prepared to lose your virginity to someone when you're not prepared to get engaged to him?"

"Ouch! And I was the one who was frightened of becoming engaged."

Mark nodded.

"But a lot of people make love now who have no thought of getting married."

Mark nodded again. "They're not making love. They're having sex like a couple of animals in the mating season."

"Do you mean to say that you would never make love to someone who was not engaged or married to you?"

"No, I don't. If the dreaded Deirdre had showed a little more willing I'd have had sex with her like a shot but that's all it would have been. Now I wouldn't dream of it because I've given myself to you, totally. Mind, body and soul."

"Oh darling!" Victoria's eyes filled.

"That's why I can't make love to you now although God knows how much I long to."

"Why not? We love each other deeply."

"Yes we do and yet we're not prepared to commit to an engagement until we're sure it's not infatuation. What did Serena say to you?"

"What she said to you. That if I hurt you she'd kill me."

"Exactly. When she said that to me about you I said she could relax because in addition I could never let your parents down and that Rupert would probably beat her to it."