Chapter 7: Ryan

NOVEMBER 2001, THANKSGIVING BREAK

[WHUMP]

The impact of her body against mine was enough to stagger me. I just barely stayed upright, my knees threatening to buckle but holding firm while Dawn wrapped her legs around my waist and planted a volcanic kiss on my lips. And only now did I feel like I could relax.

At first, I'd been rather disappointed not to find my girlfriend waiting for me at the end of the jet bridge. My heart sunk like a stone into the pit of my stomach at the thought that she'd already forgotten about me and was off getting her lights fucked out by Ryan or some other guy. But then I saw every other passenger heading in a beeline for the exits and remembered that the new security measures after 9/11 weren't letting people wait at the gates any longer. So I hustled off to baggage claim and the waiting area and was thrilled to find my Dawn launching herself into my arms.

The yo-yo from abject sorrow to thrilled happiness at seeing Dawn just made this reunion that much sweeter, and a groan of relief started somewhere deep in my gut as an aching tension I didn't realize I had evaporated out of my body.

"Mmmph! I love you!" I moaned desperately.

"I love you, too!" Dawn clung to my neck, kissing me with an intense ferocity that rivaled anything she'd ever shown me before. I wasn't entirely sure what was spurring her passion, but as I matched her intensity I knew what was spurring mine: I'd started to develop feelings for Adrienne.

I'd already learned it's nearly impossible to have sex with someone and NOT develop intimate feelings. Even pure, unemotional booty calls, say with Stacey Whitehouse, had led to some fond feelings. If I ever saw her in the street again, I wouldn't be able to help but want to hug her and know how she'd been doing.

Now true, I hadn't actually had sexual intercourse with Adrienne and I could truthfully state as such, but we'd been naked and given each other oral orgasms, which were really just symptoms of my underlying affection for her, not the causes. My gorgeous ex-girlfriend owned a part of my heart, period.

But Dawn owned the vast majority of it and I felt like I had to PROVE it to her. And just one way of doing so was to kiss her with as much passion and feeling as I ever had in my life. Hell, if we weren't in a public airport I'd throw her to the floor and make love to her with every fiber of my being if I thought it would help prove it. And Dawn seemed of like mind, desperately trying to prove her adoration with her kiss.

Of course, that made me wonder what she'd been up to in the past three weeks.

Still, confession could come later. Right now I just wanted to bask in our love's glow.

"Country?"

Dawn turned from the driver's seat and smirked at me. "Yeah? Why?"

My eyebrows furrowed and I shook my head, pointing at the radio. "I never knew you liked country."

Dawn giggled. "Really? I played this when you were here three weeks ago."

"We were barely ever in a car, and in my car when we were." I shrugged. "Besides, we were both a little distracted by everything that was going on."

Dawn frowned and started laughing. "You can read my moods like the back of your hand but you never knew I liked country music?"

I couldn't help but laugh as well. "Well, we don't listen to much music at camp. I mean, I guess they play a lot of country up there." I chuckled. "All this time together ... Hmm, I wonder what else I don't know about you."

"Well you don't know how horny I am for you right now," Dawn husked in a deep voice. "I haven't gotten laid in three weeks."

"Me, neither," I replied with just the tiniest hitch in my voice.

Dawn shook her head. "Some open relationship we've got. We can't even bring ourselves to go through with it."

I let the comment slide and then leaned across the seat, pecking Dawn's shoulder and upper arm. "Well you're wrong about one thing: I DO know how horny you are. I can read your moods like the back of my hand, remember?"

"Mmm ... yes you can..." Dawn moaned under her breath.

"Are your parents home?"

"Yeah, but that's okay." Abruptly, Dawn signaled and merged to take the next exit off the freeway. "I know a place we can go."

"Unnngh! Unnngh!" Dawn flailed out with her hands, scrambling for something to grab onto. In the end, she managed to snag the driver's headrest with her left hand, although her right just waved futilely towards the rear windshield.

Perspiration dripped off my brow and down onto Dawn's shoulder as I just lowered my head and concentrated all my energy into my hips. Our bodies heaved at each other, sweat staining both our shirts as we overheated from our energetic exertions within the closed confines of the car. Dawn's beater Chevy was much bigger than my Corolla, big enough for us to do this in the backseat.

"Fuck me, Ben! Ohhh ... I've been dreaming about this! Fuck me! Fuck me!"

Gritting my teeth, I moved my hands both down to grip Dawn's hips, even though this left my full weight bearing down on her chest. And with that leverage, I really began piledriving my dick into her with every thrust.

"Oh, yes! Yes! I love this! I love you! So fucking good, Ben!"

"Arrrghhh!" I grunted as I felt my orgasm approaching.

"Yes!" Dawn's legs hooked around my calves and pulled me even tighter. "Cum, baby! Fill me up! YES!"

Dawn threw her head back, banging it hard against the door. But the impact didn't dissuade her as her hips bucked off the car seat, momentarily lifting us both into the air. And when we crashed back down onto the cushion, I felt the sudden release of pressure in my pelvis as my ejaculation hurtled up my shaft and began spewing into the warm, wet confines of my girlfriend's pussy.

A minute later, I realized just how heavy I must be and rather awkwardly started pushing myself up and off of Dawn. She gasped in a deep breath as I stopped crushing her lungs, and for the next couple of minutes all she could do was suck oxygen and try to blink away the stars in her eyes.

I then glanced around, noting how we'd managed to fog up the windows even though it was broad daylight and it wasn't that cold outside. I even grinned when I saw the handprint on the rear windshield, my brain automatically recalling a similar scene from Titanic.

Panting, I looked down at Dawn's smiling face and managed to gasp out, "Y'know. If we were gonna get this sweaty and obvious about what we'd just done, we might as well have just gone home and done this in your bedroom."

"Good idea," Dawn mused with her eyes still closed. "So let's go to my bedroom and do it again."

"Now Dawn," Deanna Evans looked sternly at me and her daughter. We'd just recently emerged downstairs after going a second round of lovemaking in Dawn's bedroom. "I gave you guys a little leeway last time because of everything that happened with Mark. And while I am under no illusions about what you two are doing in that bedroom, I would appreciate it if you kept the volume down. Some of us have better things to do than listening to you two."

I blushed beet red and Dawn was even worse. "Yes, Mom."

"Okay," Mrs. Evans nodded. But then she leaned in conspiratorially. "Still, I may just change my mind for nighttime. The last time Ben was here your father practically dragged me into our bedroom."

"Eww, Mooom!' Dawn protested while her mom turned around and walked away, chuckling to herself.

I shook my head and my girlfriend looped her arm through mine. We headed to the kitchen to get some fluids after our most recent workout. "So what's the plan? You've got me here for three days and two nights and I'm at your disposal."

"Plans? What plans? You're expecting to leave this house?" Dawn grinned. "I just figured we'd stay locked up in my bedroom, fucking like bunnies and only coming out to find food and water."

"Ooh, can I come visit?" DJ smirked as she walked in and headed to the fridge. I whistled wolfishly while ogling her ass. The youngest Evans sister had seemingly grown up even more in the past three weeks, already developed to what I remembered of Dawn when I took my girlfriend's virginity on her sixteenth birthday.

"Maybe..." Dawn granted to her sister. "If you're good ... and if I need a break."

"If he keeps fucking you like I just heard half an hour ago, trust me, you'll need a break." DJ's eyes twinkled at me in obvious arousal.

Dawn rolled her eyes. "Don't you have a date tonight?'

"Yeah, yeah, relax. I'm taken care of." DJ then bounced out of the room.

Dawn then turned to me. "Seriously, though, we should talk." She took a deep breath and the smile vanished from her face. "I know we made some agreements the last time you were here but ... well ... now that it's real, things just seem so much more complicated than that."

I bit my lip. Was she going to take back our open relationship? I loved Dawn but I didn't know if I could last another seven-plus months. But she was right about one thing, an open relationship was much more complicated than I'd thought. I glanced outside. "You want to go for a walk?"

Dawn set down her now empty water glass and nodded, looping her arm through mine once again. "Let's go."

There was a park just down the street from Dawn's house. We used to play there as little kids and although our old jungle gym had long since been replaced, being there still brought back lots of old memories. After a bit of meandering, Dawn and I found ourselves sitting on side-by-side swings, holding onto the metal chain-links and twisting slightly in the wind.

We beat around the bush about what was on our minds for a bit, trying to work out what to say to each other before Dawn just blurted it out. "Ben, I have to know for sure: Are you really okay with me sleeping with Ryan?"

I winced automatically and Dawn pounced, pointing at my face. "See! That! That right there! That face you made! THAT'S why I can't go through with this."

"No, no, wait," I let go of the chain and waved Dawn off. "I am, I am. I don't know that I'll ever like the idea, but I AM okay with it. You deserve it, Dawn. I'm not here to give you what you need and if we are going to get married someday, I really don't want you wondering for the rest of your life what might have been. I know being with one man for your entire life sounds romantically great and all, but I know you. I KNOW you'll be eaten inside by curiosity. It's gonna happen eventually."

Dawn sighed and hung her head down, pushing with her legs to begin swaying just a few inches in the swing. "I'm caught in this paradox, Ben. I love you. I've always loved you. And when you're here with me, I can't even imagine being with anyone else, Ryan included. I mean, right here, right now, I have NO interest in sleeping with him. Why would I want to when I could have you?"

She sighed heavily. "But when you're not here ... I just get ... so lonely. He's sweet. He doesn't push me. And unlike a million other guys who would have given up months ago, he's still around. It's..." She exhaled slowly. "It's nice, Ben. And in times like that ... I really want to. I want to feel good. I want to feel pleasure. But I don't think I can do it. Every time we get close, I chicken out and pull away. We made this big 'open relationship' agreement that was supposed to change our lives, Ben. But when it comes right down to the event itself, I can't go through with it."

I exhaled, thinking of my own inability to just hop in the sack with anyone other than Dawn. 'Except Adrienne, ' my brain volunteered, but I shuttered that thought aside. And all I said was, "It's complicated."

"Yeah."

"So what do we do?" I asked.

"Well..." Dawn began slowly. "I have an idea ... but I don't know if you're going to like it."

I furrowed my eyebrows and looked over at my Dawn. I loved her. "If it can help make you happy, I'll do anything."

Dawn stopped swinging, dead in her tracks. "I want you to be there when Ryan has sex with me."

Am I really going to go through with this? Can I really watch another man have sex with my Dawn? Biting my lip and deep in contemplation, I barely even noticed the country music playing on the radio as Dawn and I headed off for the mall to meet up with her friends.

After some intense discussion which involved a lot of posturing on my part that I was 'okay' with everything and Dawn seeing right through my lies to realize I was trying to force myself to be okay with it for her sake, we both had tentatively agreed to give Dawn's plan a try. Even though we both felt some discomfort over the situation, we both knew that Dawn wanted to cross this bridge and that I wanted her to do it as well. I was simultaneously unhappy that I'd have to be there but also relieved. I was almost certain my imagination of how Dawn and Ryan would first have sex would be far worse than the actual event itself.

As the plan went, we would see a matinee to save some money, then grab some dinner, hang out somewhere, and potentially wind up at Ryan's parents' house to actually do the deed. The rest of his family had driven up to Sacramento for the holiday to visit their in-laws. We would have all night to figure out how to seduce him.

Things didn't exactly go according to plan.

The first thing that went wrong was Ryan immediately freaking out at the mere sight of me, an awkward look on the 6'2" golden blonde Adonis. Dawn had discussed the "open relationship" with him and mostly because he simply couldn't resist her, in the past three weeks the two had been progressing in their physical relationship to the point where he'd fingered her and she'd given him a handjob, although she'd been too skittish to go beyond that.

Now doing these intimately sexual things with Dawn while I, her boyfriend, was in Orange County was one thing. But even touching Dawn while I was physically present apparently was more than he could handle. Dawn went to hug him in greeting, but Ryan's eyes went wide as he looked at me and the poor guy backed away in shame. I sighed. If Ryan couldn't even hug Dawn in front of me, how the hell was he supposed to have sex with her?

I rolled my eyes. Maybe this was all for the best. Just me and Dawn, monogamous and faithful like most couples in this world, right?

In the end, Ryan came over and shook my hand earnestly while I tried to reassure him by saying, "Thanks for taking care of my girl while I'm away."

"Uhh, right." His eyes darted around nervously, as if waiting for the baseball bat to come flying at his head from a different direction. And while I still held his hand in my grip, Dawn managed to hug him from the side.

"ReLAX, Ryan. Ben doesn't bite." Dawn smiled and then added a little nervously, "Usually."

The last word, meant to be a joke, didn't help Ryan's tension levels. But I was soon swept past Ryan as Dawn re-introduced me to her other friends. "Tricia and Stephen, Gwen, Nancy and Travis, and Robin on the end."

I smiled and nodded to everyone. Most of them looked pointedly back and forth between me and my girlfriend, who was still wrapped around Ryan's arm. Clearly, they knew something was going on. After all, they'd witnessed first hand how Dawn and Ryan had become rather obviously close in the past few weeks. And they were quite curious as to my seeming non-reaction. Tricia and Stephen probably knew of my arrangement with Dawn, but I didn't know how much further it had spread.

So with that little bit of tension hanging in the middle of the group, we went over to the box office and picked up our tickets. I paid solo. Dawn had Ryan pay for her. It was symbolism we hoped would make our intentions clear. And when we went inside I made it a point to sit separately from Dawn. I desperately wanted to be next to her, holding her hand and squeezing it throughout the movie. I'd already missed three weeks with her and the idea of two-plus hours apart physically nauseated me. But the plan was to get Ryan used to the idea of my awareness and approval of their little flirtation and I decided he would never relax if I was seated beside my girlfriend. Hell, I wasn't sure if I would relax if I were seated beside them. The pair was further insulated from me as Tricia sat next to her best friend and then Stephen beside her as well.

Fortunately enough for me, Gwen and Robin, Dawn's single friends, decided to sit me between them. "So, Ben?" Gwen began brightly. "Mind if we keep you company tonight?"

I glanced over at the pretty, and slightly skanky, dirty-blonde. I remembered her as the extremely flirtatious party-hard-type girl from the last time I visited. She'd even asked Dawn if she could 'borrow' me back then. And then staring down the aisle to where Dawn had her fingers intertwined with Ryan's, I replied to Gwen in a firm voice, "I would love that."

Gwen giggled like a bimbo and leaned over, draping her tits onto the forearm I'd laid on the armrest. I forced myself to relax and let my natural charm shine through as I smiled back at her.

Robin, on the other side of me, was a little less flirty and a little more curious. The attractive brunette frowned and asked, "So Ben, you and Dawn are still together, right?"

I shrugged and nodded in the affirmative.

Robin glanced past me, Gwen, Stephen, and Tricia for a second with a confused look on her face before returning her gaze to me. "So ... why is she over there with Ryan?"

I blanked for a second. Dawn and I hadn't discussed how to deal with these questions, and I wasn't exactly sure how to proceed. "Uh, well..." I started a little warily, cognizant of Robin's piercing gaze on me. It was clear this was an intelligent girl who wasn't about to buy any bullshit. "Let's just say I'm fully aware of Dawn's ... interactions ... with Ryan while we've been apart."

Robin looked at me skeptically. "So you're okay with the two of them doing ... whatever?" She waved her hand in their general direction.

"Yeah, pretty much," I shrugged. "I know she loves me and we'll be together soon enough."

"So you don't mind if the two of them start fucking each other," Robin asked bluntly.

I fought down the bile that started rising up my throat. "Basically, yeah."

"You mean like an open relationship?" Gwen piped up from the other side of me.

I arched an eyebrow at the phrase and took a deep breath before admitting. "Yeah, something like that."

Then Gwen immediately leaned forward, putting a hand on my arm and moving her face into my personal space. And in a deeply sensual, seductive voice she practically purred, "So ... does it go both ways? Are you ... Ben ... open?"

Now both my eyebrows went up as I looked Gwen right back in her eyes while she grinned predatorily. I hadn't really thought of it that way and amidst the tension of watching my true love, my Dawn, cuddling up to another man, the idea of losing myself in the affections of a pretty girl sounded like a REALLY good idea. "Well, as a matter of fact ... yes I am."

Gwen giggled and smiled at me, squeezing her arms together to press her cleavage and push her tits forward. "Good to know."

Robin sighed from the other side of me and groaned, "Gawd, you're such a slut, Gwen."

The second thing that went wrong Friday night was that the movie we were watching was Black Knight. It was HORRIBLE. Fake sets. Worse acting. And a plot that made See Spot Run look like Shakespeare.

Why the hell did we go see this piece of crap? Were we really just a bunch of teenagers so desperate to hang out that we'd watch anything?

Anyways...

Weighed down by the pathetic excuse for a motion picture, everyone just sort of meandered out of the theater to hit the bathrooms. I was in and out pretty quickly, and the first person I saw upon exiting was Dawn.

Standing by a wall, her hand was bunched up against her lower lip as she zoned out, staring at nothing in front of her. Her eyes were a little tight and she was clearly nervous. My heart went out to her and I quickly crossed the lobby to embrace her.

As she saw me approaching, Dawn automatically turned and wrapped her arms around herself while letting me wrap my arms around her in a warm hug. She hummed happily and sagged her head against my shoulder. "Hi, Ben," she sighed.

"You alright?"

"Not really. Isn't this all just so awkward?" Dawn whimpered. "Why are we doing this again? The LAST thing on my mind right now is sex."

"Aww, I'm hurt," I feigned being upset. "I've got you wrapped up in my arms right now and you're not even slightly turned on?"

"Well, maybe a little," Dawn smiled and her voice became husky as she rolled those crystal blue eyes up to mine. "I missed you these past three weeks and doing it twice isn't nearly enough to make up for it."

"Agreed," I smiled and hugged her a little tighter. "Just promise me one thing, Dawn."

"Anything, Ben."

"No matter what happens tonight," I said seriously while staring into her eyes. "I get to fall asleep with you in my arms."

My true love smiled radiantly at me. "Of course." And then she tilted her head and invited me to plant a volcanic kiss on her lips.

We moaned happily into each other's mouths, reveling in the joyous pleasure of being together for what felt like an eternity. But then I got that tingle on the back of my neck, the one that tells you you're being watched, and I pulled away to turn my head and look.

Sure enough, there was Ryan, looking confused as hell. His mouth was a hard, horizontal line, and he turned to march away.

"Hell," Dawn muttered and broke away from me, quickly hustling after the handsome young man. "Ryan!"

I watched as Dawn caught up to him perhaps thirty feet away. The two quickly began talking animatedly with big, dramatic arm waves, Ryan clearly upset while Dawn did her best to calm him down.

Gwen was suddenly next to me, also watching. "You know, this is the closest I've ever seen the two of them to fighting."

"Really?" I turned and arched an eyebrow at the pretty girl beside me. A little further away, Robin was huddled together with Tricia and Nancy, also talking animatedly. I could only surmise she was talking about Dawn's and my arrangement.

"Yeah, they've made such a great couple these past few weeks," Gwen continued, her focus on the beautiful blonde pair. "He makes her really happy."

I felt the rise of jealousy building inside me. No man had the right to make MY girl happy, right? I felt the tension flowing into my arms as the anger rose, but I fought it back. What could I really do? Ask Dawn to be faithful for another seven months? I loved her. I loved her so much I could let her go because I knew we would be together again in the end. She didn't deserve to go through almost a year of loneliness just for me. The 'plan' may have not been going smoothly, but it was what Dawn wanted and I was willing to see it through.

"Yeah, well," I sighed, looking at the floor before turning away. "Good for them."

Dinner was Panda Express. And whether by design or subconscious arrangement, everyone sort of paired off around the big table for 8 we snagged: Dawn and Ryan, Tricia and Stephen, Nancy and Travis, and then Gwen and me. Robin pulled over a chair to the end of the table next to Gwen.

Gwen was the one that made me feel like we'd organized into couples. She practically ignored her friends, exclusively talking to me and dropping not-so- subtle innuendos into the conversation. I mean, when a girl points with her chopsticks at your 2-item combo and asks huskily, "Will you pork me, Ben?" her intentions are pretty clear.

To be honest, I didn't really mind the attention. A small part of me felt justified in getting the female attention since my girlfriend was three feet away doing her best to hook up with another man. I gave as good as I got in my conversation with Gwen and after ten minutes, we were feeding each other off our plates.

Robin confirmed that she'd spilled the beans on our open relationship, and it looked like the other two couples spent more time observing me and Dawn than on their food.

Nancy and Travis watched with a mixture of humor and amazement. It had to just blow their minds how Dawn and I were supposedly a couple and yet so obviously into other people.

Now Dawn had told me that Stephen had been ogling her and making lecherous comments about her for months now. At dinner, I think Stephen started getting ideas in his head that if Dawn was in an open relationship, then maybe he DID have a chance at getting into her pants. But with one inappropriate comment about doing a little swapping thing with their best friends, Tricia slapped her boyfriend and put an end to that particular line of thinking. At least one good thing came of it: Ryan got defensively protective of Dawn and for the first time all night, put his arm around her and glared at Stephen as if he was Dawn's boyfriend.

After dinner, we wound up just hanging around the parking lot for a few minutes. Stephen had a big pickup truck, so he and Tricia were sitting on the tailgate while the rest of us discussed what to do next.

"Why don't we go to your place, Ryan?" Dawn put her hand on the big guy's chest and looked sweetly up at him.

At first, Ryan started smiling but then he got a nervous look on his face and darted his gaze to me. I had been coolly evaluating him with what I thought was a neutral stare, but whatever my expression, Ryan didn't seem to like it. "Y'know, uh, Dawn. I'm not sure that's such a good idea."

"C'mon. Just hang out for a coupla hours. Maybe grab a few beers and get you loosened up a bit," Dawn encouraged warmly.

Ryan uncomfortably removed Dawn's hand, stood to his full height, and then gave me a firm look. "You know what, I think I'm just going to go home myself," he declared.

"Ryannn..." Dawn began.

But the guy held up his hand, turning to the beautiful young blonde. "Dawn, just stop it." And then steeling his spine, he strode directly across to me and then stood before me with a stern look on his face.

Gwen had practically been hanging onto my shoulder up until this point, but as Ryan marched his approach she backed away as if afraid to be anywhere near this showdown. I stiffened my own spine and drew myself to my full 6'0" height, still a couple of inches shorter than him. I felt the tension start flowing into my arms as I readied myself for anything.

But Ryan stopped himself at a respectable distance in front of me and spread his hands open, his open and honest expression quite disarming. "Look, Ben, this is all my fault. I knew Dawn had a boyfriend and I knew my own rules not to pursue her. But I couldn't help myself. She's gorgeous. She's smart. She's ... she's incredible. But she wasn't mine. I knew that and I kept going after her." Almost nervously, Ryan gestured with his hands to illustrate what he was saying.

"But that was wrong of me," he continued. "No matter what kind of relationship you two have got, open or not, I respect that you two have a relationship. I blinded myself into not seeing it while you were away because I wanted so desperately to be with her. But I can't blind myself any longer. She's yours. And she loves you. Everyone here can see that. Yeah, she's been trying to keep it under wraps tonight, but from the minute you arrived she was a different girl. She was your girl."

Ryan then took a deep breath and extended his hand to me. Automatically, I reached out for it and he shook my hand firmly. "I wish all the happiness in the world to you, Ben."

Slightly confused but feeling honored by his frank honesty, I nodded fractionally and pumped his hand.

Ryan then turned and glanced back at Dawn, who was looking at the guy with her jaw on the floor. And to my total surprise, I saw a tear roll down his cheek. "All the happiness. She deserves nothing less."

I just nodded slowly, not quite believing what was happening. Ryan dropped our hands and then started to back away. But before he left, he turned and gave me a significant look. "You take care of her, Ben. You ever screw this up, and you can bet I'll be looking to catch her."

I managed a smile at that as Ryan gathered all of his dignity and turned away. He didn't even stop to wipe up his tears. And with a final forlorn glance at Dawn, he headed for his car.

Before he got there, Stephen called out. "Hey man! We still watching the game at your house tomorrow?"

Ryan didn't answer except to just raise his arm. Then he got in his car, started the engine, and rolled away.

"The hell does 'eh' mean?" Stephen asked, miming the raised arm. Tricia just rolled her eyes.

I looked over to Dawn, who hugged herself with her own set of tears rolling down her eyes, and I quickly rushed to embrace her.

Dawn was silent for the entire drive home. We took separate showers and got ready for bed without saying anything more than was necessary, both of us clearly lost in thought. But when I sat up against the headboard and opened my left arm, my true love, my best friend, my Dawn came willingly to cuddle herself against me. No matter what else was going on, it just felt so natural.