Chapter 15: Prom

May 2002, Senior Year

The last week and a half had been perfect. Allie's and my relationship had been re-energized and we'd been fucking like rabbits every chance we got, in every position possible. I found that having such a small and light girlfriend had its advantages. I could lift Allie and literally fuck her up the wall of my bedroom without getting too exhausted. I could fuck her wheelbarrow style without my arms giving out. And once we even had completely free-standing sex, without supports of any kind. My legs turned to jello after I spunked inside her, and we collapsed onto the floor in the end. But still, we'd pulled it off.

Allie repeatedly said she wanted to get the most out of her 'vacation' and she considered each day a failure if she didn't somehow manage to get my cum inside her body, one way or another. That line of thinking led to some risky sexual encounters. She even rode me one time in an out of the way school bathroom stall after classes had ended, straddling my lap and propping her feet up where the toilet bowl met the wall so that no one could see her feet. Allie even made some sly references to finding a way to fuck me during our Senior Prom.

Speaking of Prom, I pooled together with the guys as we came up with our arrangements. Kenny, Sung, and I were renting a big stretch limo to take Abbie, Stephanie, and Allie together. Daniel, Kaito, and Cameron were doing the same for Elaine, Megan, and Cassidy.

As for my cheerleader friends, Heather and Lynne had both found themselves dates. And Adrienne was being escorted by Kyle McGinley. Her opinion of him had been significantly raised when he came to our defense during the whole Drew-Marco thing, which led to the two of them talking more in the following weeks, and eventually led to him asking her to the Prom. She'd accepted, and while I personally didn't think they were going to start dating again, I didn't put it past either of them to just fuck around a bit for the fun of it. They'd certainly gotten close when they were dating before, and Adrienne no longer seemed to have her mental blocks with sex and trust.

So with Prom coming up on Saturday, just three days away, everyone in our group of friends waited anxiously in anticipation of one of the biggest nights of our young lives. I myself was pretty excited about it, looking forward to spending a romantic evening with Allie and just letting the magic of Prom sweep me away.

Little did I know what bomb was about to be dropped on me.

It was just after 4pm when the doorbell rang on Wednesday. Per routine, I went over to the front door and opened it for Adrienne.

"Hey, Tiger," Adrienne stood there, looking absolutely radiant in the bright afternoon light. The sun was still high over the horizon, basking everything in a golden glow. Butterflies leaped to action in my stomach and I felt my heart speed up, the way it always did when I saw my gorgeous friend.

"Hey, A.D.," I smiled. "How's Kyle?"

"Nervous, actually," Adrienne giggled as she stepped inside and then followed me into the living room.

"Hey, A.D.," Brooke meandered by and waved before sliding past us into the family room and seizing control of the remote control. I let her go. I had better entertainment now.

We settled onto the living room couch and I gestured for Adrienne to continue. "You were saying how Kyle's getting nervous?"

"Yeah. For such a big, macho guy, he's got a surprisingly sensitive soul. I hadn't noticed the first time around."

I shrugged. "Don't judge a book by its cover, right?"

Adrienne nodded.

"So does his sensitivity make it more likely or less likely that you'll start dating him again?"

Adrienne laughed. "Dating? Ben, we graduate in little more than a month!"

"I see," I nodded sagely. "So it's just recreational fucking to pass the time until you both move on."

"Ben!" Adrienne slapped my arm and grinned. "Are the twins home?"

I shook my head in the negative, then Adrienne sighed and said, "Actually, I'm not sure if Kyle and I will ever get that far."

"What?" I arched an eyebrow. "You've been complaining to me for the past month about how much you've been craving cock."

She glanced down at my crotch for a moment before saying, "I'm not saying I don't WANT to. It's just..." she trailed off. "You really don't mind?"

I shook my head. "Of course, not. I'm your friend, Adrienne. I just want to see you happy."

She smiled. "That's sweet. And I don't know yet if Kyle and I are going to sleep together."

"He IS getting a hotel room, isn't he?" I leaned in and leered.

"Actually no, I don't think so. We're not together and he didn't want to be presumptuous. He just seems happy to be my date and we'll see where things go from there."

I snorted. "He'll have a backup plan, just in case. No self-respecting guy would forgive himself if an opportunity to be with you passed him by."

The gorgeous blonde blushed. "I dunno."

"Well I'll make you a deal. I've got a hotel room and if I strike out with Allie, you can come stay with me," I ogled Adrienne's chest while she both rolled her eyes in mock annoyance and arched her back to shove her tits towards me. We both knew we were still terribly attracted to one another physically, and only our friendship and agreement to keep things platonic were really holding us back. Joking around about it every now and again let us relieve the sexual tension.

Adrienne giggled for a bit, but then she pulled back and sighed, giving me a dead serious look. "You know, you probably shouldn't joke about that, Ben."

I frowned, not understanding. "What?"

Adrienne's hazel eyes softened as she looked at me with a trace of sadness. "You know, I thought for a long time that we'd be going to Senior Prom together. Back when you told me you broke up with Dawn and ... well ... even though we were 'nottogether', I thought we'd still end up together, you know?"

I exhaled and bit my lip. Quietly, I replied, "I'd thought the same for a long time."

"It's my own fault," Adrienne's eyes started moistening. "If I'd just had the guts to take the chance and be with you the way we both really wanted..."

"Hey, hey," I pulled Adrienne into a hug. "Don't beat yourself up over this. The past is past. I'm here for you now and here for you always. Isn't my eternal friendship worth one night with Kyle McGinley as your escort?" I said lightly.

Adrienne snorted. "Yeah, yeah. Friendship..."

The smile slowly disappeared off Adrienne's face and then it felt like time slowed down. The world went quiet around us and shrunk, the walls and floor fading away until there was nothing left but this couch and the two of us. The air became still as I focused on this beautiful young woman, the softness of her skin, and the batting of her eyelashes.

Adrienne turned in my embrace and looked up into my arms. Her eyes were big and luminous, searching into the back of my soul from just inches away. Her face was a priceless work of art, enchanting in its beauty. And when she spoke, her voice had such a melodic, sensual tone. "Still, Ben, it would be nice to be with you on Saturday."

My mouth was dry and my world shrunk further down to only her. My heart spoke for me next and I husked softly, "You still can be."

Adrienne blinked a few times as her hand came up, her fingertips gently brushing against my cheek. What happened next came automatically as I dipped my head down. She sensed my intention and quickly rose up to meet me, and then my brain was exploding as Adrienne's patented nuclear kiss set off every nerve in my body.

But just as soon as we started, Adrienne jerked back. "Oh, no, no."

I blinked and pulled my head back as well. "Oh, shit. Adrienne, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." The world around us reappeared: walls, the floor, windows. And my promise to Allie that no matter what, she would be my date. "Oh, hell," I gasped.

"No, Ben. We can't. Even if we really wanted to, I couldn't break it off with Kyle three days before the Prom. And Allie really doesn't deserve to get her heart broken."

"You're right, you're right." I was holding my head and nodding. "That was a mistake. That was my mistake. I'm so sorry, Adrienne."

"No, I'm sorry, Ben. I started it."

"No, I did."

"I kissed you."

"But I leaned in."

Adrienne took a deep breath and then looked away, speaking rapidly. "We can't work out, Ben. I want you. GAWD DAMMIT I want you! But you belong to Dawn. You're going to go be with her in the summer and at school and you'll break my heart if we're together. And I can't take that."

"Adrienne," I groaned and reached for her. I couldn't be losing her. Not again. I exhaled heavily. "What if ... What if I wasn't getting back together with Dawn at school? What do I know? I spend only a month out of the year with her. We're not kids anymore. We're growing up into different people and who knows how much we've changed?"

"You don't believe that," Adrienne frowned, moisture in her eyes as she shook her head.

"But ... what if?" I reached for her.

Adrienne's lower lip quivered and she shook her head. "Don't do this, Ben. Don't get my hopes up unless you're sure."

"I still love you, Adrienne," I pleaded. "Do you want to be with me?"

She whimpered, "Would you really choose me over Dawn?"

I was breathing hard. Would I? Out of sight, out of mind, right? I claimed I loved Dawn, but when was the last time I talked to her? And who was Dawn really, as a grown-up person? It was easy to love 'summer camp Dawn'. When we were together, we were in our own little world, a magical retreat away from real life. But would I still love the real-world Dawn? Did I even KNOW real-world Dawn? Hell, I hadn't even known she liked country music.

Dawn was a fantasy girl. It was always easy to love the fantasy girl. Together from birth, soulmates, finding each other again at college after being separated, it was all so romantic and perfect for a fairy tale. But life isn't a fairy tale. And Adrienne was real. She'd been here, with me, through ups and downs and raw emotions. She'd hated my guts and trusted me so completely. And after it all, we were still here, still with a chance to be together.

I wasn't a kid anymore. I was eighteen now, technically an adult, and maybe it was time to think beyond fantasy and face up to the real world. Adrienne was here, in the flesh, in my life, not just a memory in the distance. I looked at the stunningly beautiful young woman intensely and asked, "Adrienne, do you love me?"

Adrienne quivered and whimpered with furrowed eyebrows, a tear rolling down her cheek as she said softly, "Yes."

I took a deep breath. My next words would change my life forever. And in a deadly serious voice, I stated, "Then yes, I would choose you over Dawn."

Adrienne started crying right then. Her face twisted up into a mask of fear and pain, not quite the result I was expecting from such a life-changing decision in her favor.

I reached for her but Adrienne held her palm out to me, keeping me away. And I sighed and realized my own selfishness. This wasn't just about me. A relationship wasn't just about me choosing Adrienne over Dawn. There were two people involved and Adrienne still had to decide if she really wanted to be with me. Maybe it wasn't a question of me versus Kyle; but it certainly was still a question for Adrienne of being with me and taking the risk that we might eventually break up for whatever reasons versus playing it safe and staying friends.

To be honest, I wasn't sure which way I really wanted her to choose. I wanted Adrienne to be mine. I really, really wanted to be with her. But I had my own fears. We WERE young. Shit happens. Did I really want to take the risk of us breaking up? Could I live without Adrienne in my life down the road if I fucked things up?

And then my cell phone went off.

I ignored it. This was too big a moment for the both of us for me to deal with cell phone calls. I reached for Adrienne again, but she just brought her knees up to her chest and shook her head.

My cell phone blared annoyingly and in frustration, I picked it up so I could hit the END-button to turn off the ringer. But then the caller ID caught my attention.

It read: DAWN.

I stopped breathing. We hadn't talked since she called to wish me a happy birthday weeks ago. And out of all the times to call me, Dawn had to do it NOW?

I looked up at Adrienne, who stared at me through bleary eyes as she recognized the shock on my face. "Who is it?"

"It's Dawn," I croaked.

Adrienne studied me, her gaze locked onto my face. This was it, a tangible moment of choice. I had loved Dawn. She had been my best friend since infancy, my partner in both childhood playtime and teenage sexual exploration. We were lovers and we were friends. But we were growing up now and if my relationship with her was going to continue into college, it would have to be based on more than just our childhoods.

So I made my decision. I hit END, silencing the ring, and set the phone down on the coffee table.

The ball was in Adrienne's court.

"Ben ... I..." she began through her tears. "I just don't know. This is all so sudden and Prom is right around the corner and this will get SOOO messy with Allie and Kyle and I ... I ... I'm still scared."

I sighed and let my shoulders sag. It WAS a little too much in too short of a time. And I KNEW I hadn't completely thought this through. Could I really do this to Allie? I'd made a promise, hadn't I? So I nodded and said, "It's okay, Adrienne."

"Ben, I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay, it's okay. Adrienne, I swore I'd never pressure you, and I'm not going to start now. Manipulating anyone into a relationship they don't want will NEVER work out in the long run."

"I DO love you. And ... and ... I'm overwhelmed that you might actually choose me over Dawn. But I'm just not ready for a relationship, Ben."

"It's okay. I get it."

Adrienne flung herself at me then, not for a kiss, but for a hug as she wrapped her arms around my mid-section and squeezed as hard as she possibly could. "I don't ever want to lose you, Ben."

"You won't," I patted her back gently and squeezed back. "You won't."

Adrienne whimpered and continued to hold me, and a strange feeling of calm settled over me. I rubbed her back and thought about my life, thought about this gorgeous young woman draped around me and just how much she NEEDED me. A terrible period of abuse when she was young had scarred her for life, opening a great void inside her that forever yearned to be filled. I filled that void for Adrienne. I was the one man in this world she trusted, the one man who loved her the way her father and brother should have but didn't. And she loved me equally because I did. It was a powerful thing, to be needed like that. And it bound us together in a way completely different from any other relationship I'd ever had with a girl.

"You'll never lose me, Adrienne," I said firmly. "One way or another, we'll always be together."

Adrienne had finally calmed down and was still lying against my chest, feeling rather drowsy in the aftermath of her tears. She was emotionally wiped out, and as I held her, I was reminded of just why Adrienne always seemed to choose this form of relationship over a more intimate, romantic relationship. The fact was, she needed me as her support more than she needed me as her lover. Almost mournfully, I realized she saw me in part as the brother she should have had instead of the husband she might want for her future.

But eventually Adrienne managed to gather herself together and sit up. She sniffled at the congestion that had built up in her nose and she wiped her eyes, her fingers coming away streaked with running makeup.

Still sniffling, she pointed and said, "Maybe you should change your shirt."

I looked down and chuckled, seeing the vibrant colors that didn't belong on my otherwise white T-shirt. Adrienne then grabbed her purse and headed for the hallway bathroom to clean up before my parents and the twins got home.

I exhaled slowly and leaned my head back. These emotionally-charged moments were just so exhausting.

But then I picked my head up and saw the cell phone on the table again. Dawn had called me and from the way the phone was lit up, she'd left me a message. So after stretching out the kinks in my neck, I reached for the phone and held down the 1-button, listening in as the call went to my voicemail.

Dawn's voice was rather melancholic, full of deep heavy breaths. She said hello and apologized for not calling sooner, but that she'd had quite a bit of thinking to do. She breathed heavily a few more times and then began with a sentence that chilled my heart into nearly stopping:

"Ben, I'm sorry. I know we talked a lot about how we would get back together in the summer and for college, but things with me and Ryan have kind of changed."

My jaw dropped and my eyes went wide as I listened to the rest of Dawn's message. Knowing she had a finite amount of time before the recording cut her off, she kept things short and to the point. And with each continuing sentence, my heart sunk lower and lower and lower. And when she was finally done, all I could do was hit the END-button and set the phone back down in stunned silence.

It was strange. Intellectually, I knew I'd made a rather life-changing decision on my part that I would choose Adrienne over Dawn, to choose my real-life over the fantasy that Dawn represented. It never occurred to me that Dawn might choose the same.

Feeling as if a knife had been thrust into my heart, I got up and silently walked to the stairs. Ascending them one step at a time, I got to the second floor and went to my bedroom. And with a kind of quiet detachment, I went to the framed photo of Dawn on my desk and gently folded it face-down.

Adrienne was in the bedroom with me again. How long she'd been there, I didn't know. But she clearly could read my face and the shock written there. "Ben? What happened?" she asked in a concerned voice.

I just sat on my bed, staring off at nothingness. The world around me had ceased to exist, as if somewhat had stolen it out from beneath my feet. And in a shocked monotone, I replied, "Dawn said she's going to stay with Ryan. He worked really hard this year and he was accepted as a transfer student to Berkeley. She said that as much as she adores me and values our lifelong friendship, she doesn't want to walk away from what she and he have built together."

I went silent and just kept staring at the wall, feeling numb. I didn't know WHAT to think, how to feel, whether to be angry or sad. After all, wasn't I just about as ready to walk away from her?

Adrienne was just quiet as she stood a few feet away, who knows what running through her mind. But after another second, she simply walked over, sat beside me on the bed, and wrapped me up in her arms.

"I'm sorry, Ben," she said softly and sincerely. "I'm sorry."

I just closed my eyes and forced myself to breathe. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life.

Adrienne stayed with me until my parents got home. Since it was a Wednesday, she was already planning to stay with us and despite my desire to just go catatonic and ignore the cruel, cruel world, she got me to at least sit at the dinner table.

I ate ... a little. I didn't speak. And given the 'go-the-fuck-away' signals I was giving everyone, no one tried to make me. My parents gave me my space, understanding that something was wrong. But they did ask Adrienne, and eventually she pulled both my parents into the kitchen to tell them I'd gotten a voicemail from Dawn, telling me that we were staying broken up and she was staying in her relationship with Ryan. I'm pretty sure that sometime later that evening my mom called Deanna Evans to get the other side of the story as well.

After dinner, most everyone left me alone. Adrienne hugged me and promised she'd see me tomorrow. I was pretty sure she'd have stayed to try and help me out if her own emotions weren't so fucked up in the aftermath of our kiss and renewed declarations that we still loved each other.

The twins didn't try to get through to me. They ignored me, content to wait things out and see if I would become better in another day or two, as I usually did.

Brooke, on the other hand, seemed to be on a personal mission to cheer me up from whatever was ailing me. She chatted incessantly with me, trying to draw me out and showing remarkable patience for a girl who wouldn't turn 16 for another couple of weeks. In retrospect, I probably should have known EXACTLY what she was going to do. My little sister wasn't the type to ever give up and after all, she'd already done this twice before.

Sometime in the late evening, well after my parents had gone to sleep, I was still sitting up in bed, contemplating the nature of my existence. I simply had never imagined my future without Dawn in it. Really, I didn't think much about my future in general, but when I had, Dawn had always been by my side. It just seemed ... wrong ... somehow, for her not to be with me when we were gray and old.

I heard a light knock at my door, and still in my own little world, I didn't answer. No matter, a few seconds later, it began to swing open. "Ben?" Brooke called softly as she came into view, wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around her torso. Her hair was damp as she was just out of the shower, and I couldn't help but notice how her growing curves stretched out the towel in very specific places. At 5'6" and nearing sixteen, my little sister certainly had the body of a growing young woman.

She didn't bother with the hand waving this time. She knew better. I was a sexual creature and sex had always been the easiest tool with which to manipulate my moods. Brooke simply closed the door, dropped the towel to the floor, and let me stare at her beautiful naked body.

She had a golden tan and a rich glow from the shower. Her dark hair was damp and slicked back against her scalp, the wet look I loved so much. Her breasts were bigger and perkier with age, perhaps already bigger than Brandi's. If I had to guess, my sister would be the first one in our family with a C-cup very soon.

Brooke knew me well. So she slinked into my bedroom, fully ready to fuck me back to happiness. I hadn't been with her in over a week, the last time she'd felt the desperate need for some brother cock, and I could feel myself hardening at the thought of washing away my troubles in a sea of orgasmic ecstasy.

But the problem was DAWN. Dawn and I weren't getting back together. I knew I'd somewhat forgotten her in the past few months. Part of that was because I didn't really want to think about her and Ryan together. More of it was because I was wrapped up in my Adrienne dramas. But I'd still had in the back of my head that she would always be there for me, patiently waiting. No matter what crisis I was currently embroiled in, everything would be alright come summer camp and college beyond. Dawn was my ace in the hole. I'd taken her for granted.

And now she was gone.

Not even sex with Brooke could make the pain of that knowledge go away.

And so maintaining my thousand-yard stare, I said in a low voice, "Brooke, put some clothes on."

My little sister ignored me and climbed onto the bed, sitting beside my knee while facing towards me.

"Brooke, I'm not in the mood."

Still ignoring me, she brushed her bangs back behind her ears and bent over at the waist, reaching through the flap of my boxers and extracting the erection her naked body had produced in me. "This is in the mood," she said quietly.

"That has a mind of its own. But even sex can't make me happy again, Brooke," I sighed melodramatically.

Still with my cock in hand, Brooke just blinked a few times before saying. "If all I can give you is five seconds of happiness, then it'll be worth it, big brother." Then she bent over and shoved my cock to the entrance of her throat, but no further. She was getting much better at taking me into her throat, but she had yet to take all of me inside. Still, my little sister was quite adept at giving me pleasure, and her warm mouth, licking tongue, and powerful suction warred for territory in my mind away from my depressive musings about Dawn.

I closed my eyes and leaned back against the pillows, grimacing in pain. Pleasure ... agony ... ecstasy ... sorrow ... Back and forth I went from focusing on Brooke's blowjob to thinking of Dawn. And somewhere along the way, my little sister inhaled and I suddenly felt her lips wrapped around the base of my dick.

Holy shit! She'd pulled it off!

Brooke backed away almost as suddenly as she'd accomplished the feat, leaving my mushroom head just inside her teeth as she breathed and panted for oxygen. And then I felt the tension in my balls go slack as they began to evacuate their contents into my little sister's sucking mouth.

She gave me much more than five seconds of happiness. For that, I am thankful.

But it couldn't last forever. And long after my sister returned to her own room, I lay awake in the dark ... thinking of Dawn.

Allie, of course, realized there was something wrong with me. I wasn't much for hiding my emotions and within five seconds my cute little girlfriend was smothering me with hugs and asking, "Honey? What's wrong?"

"Don't want to talk about it," I replied gruffly over and again.

Allie kept at it during the break between second and third periods, then again at lunch. I was sociable enough with our friends not to be a distraction, but still it was clear to everyone that I was not having a good day. And so far, Adrienne wasn't much help. Even though she was my best friend, this day she stayed with Heather and Lynne away from me, lost in her own melodramatic musings. And her absence only darkened my mood even further. Perhaps I would forever regret that kiss and the raw, emotional openness that had led us to both declare that we still loved each other and yet left us still unable to be together.

But Allie, sweet Allie, never gave up. Recognizing that perhaps she wasn't close enough to me to get through my thick skull, she first recruited Megan and Cassidy to try and talk things out of me. They were my very close friends, but even they couldn't scratch my armor when I was in a mood like this.

After school, Allie took things a step further. Knowing that there wasn't anyone around closer to me than Adrienne, she forcibly dragged the much bigger girl over to me, asking for help to figure out what was going through my head. Adrienne took one pitying look at me from fifteen feet away and turned to my girlfriend, saying matter-of-factly, "Dawn broke up with him."

Allie frowned, not understanding. "Huh?"

Adrienne waggled her head and clarified, "Right, they're not together. That's because she's up North and he's down here. They were planning to get back together for the summer and then college, but Dawn told Ben that she's staying with her current boyfriend instead."

Allie looked sad for me and turned to look at me. I just raised my eyes to Adrienne and said softly, "That's not the whole story." After all, part of my sadness was that Adrienne still didn't want to be with me, even after I'd made my own decision to break it off with Dawn first.

But Adrienne got the look in my eyes, frowned and started turning away. She still didn't want to face her own feelings for me.

"Not the whole story what?" Allie looked back at me and then reached out, grabbing Adrienne's elbow before the tall, blonde cheerleader got away.

"Nothing, nothing," Adrienne sighed and wouldn't look back at me. "You want to fix him? Fuck him within an inch of his life," she reasoned while avoiding eye contact with anyone. "He's Ben. It's how he works."

But Allie was thinking further ahead. She gripped Adrienne's hand and implored up to the taller girl, "Come with me."

Adrienne stopped. "What?"

"It's so obvious, Adrienne," Allie said firmly. "You want him. He wants you. Come with US."

"He's your boyfriend, Allie," Adrienne began.

"I TOLD you guys, I don't care," Allie said in exasperation. She'd used up all her patience trying to get through to me in the first place and didn't have any more left. "FUCK, Adrienne! Will you two just fuck each other already? Our lives would be sooo much less complicated. Especially since he's not tied down to Dawn anymore."

For a moment, Adrienne looked like she was considering it. But at the last second, she simply shook her hand free of Allie and quickly hurried away.

Allie sighed and then looked back at me, shaking her head. I didn't see why she bothered. We were friends and yes, we'd recently decided to be boyfriend/girlfriend. But we both knew this relationship would end in another month or so. It wasn't her problem. Ours was supposed to be a casual relationship built on fun and enjoying each other's company, not dealing with emotional breakdowns.