I love my wife, but she certainly has been trying my patience recently. Maybe it's just because I'm not old fashioned enough, but I don't accept that stuff about "wifely duties". The way I look at it is that if you have sex with a woman who doesn't want to have sex with you, that's rape. Even if that woman happens to be your wife. So if my honey says "no", I back off. Besides, I'm not sure I could even make it with someone who was just lying there passively. Nothing turns me on more than a partner who is turned on herself.

But unfortunately my wife has been saying "no" quite consistently for a long time now. Have I thought about looking elsewhere to satisfy my needs? You bet I have, but it's only been thoughts. As I said, I love my wife. I wouldn't want to do anything to hurt her, or to chance destroying our marriage. Nor would I want to threaten such a thing to persuade her to give in to me. That would still be rape in my eyes.

I kept trying to find some way to get out of this dilemma, and I finally came up with an idea that was quite unconventional, but might have a chance of succeeding. The idea was to trick her into having an affair with someone else. That could solve my problem in any of a number of ways. It might be that once someone got her fires stoked she would get turned on to me again, like when we were first married. Or it might be that guilt at what she was doing would push her into performing, and performing well, for me. Or, if nothing else, she couldn't complain about me having an affair if she was having one herself. Besides, I convinced myself, she used to love making love. Helping her regain that would be a gift to her, even if I wasn't her partner.

Now you're probably thinking that I haven't got a chance in hell of getting a staid and stone cold married woman involved with another man. But there's something else I haven't told you. You see, I'm Anglo, and she is Latino. Sure, we fell in love and got married twenty years ago, but I have never really fit into her Mexican culture, and she misses terribly having a man like the guys she grew up with. Latino men are known as great lovers anyway, and that was the kind of guy I decided to find for her.

She works at an elementary school as a bilingual teaching aide, and she is damn good at it. One day I picked her up after school, and saw her stop to speak for a moment with a man about her own age. 'Yes!' I thought 'The perfect choice.' He was the school janitor, and she had told me a few months earlier that the two of them had had some long conversations after his marriage broke up. There was nothing unusual in that, Gloria was always a good listener, and lots of people talked to her about their problems. I think if she had had the educational opportunities when younger she would have made a very good psychiatrist. In any event, Juan, the janitor, had told her his wife had run away with another man, and Gloria helped him talk his way through his overwhelming sense of loneliness and loss.

I started following Juan around secretly to see what he was doing with himself now. I discovered he was living alone, and never had visitors. He sometimes went to bars, and he sometimes picked up women there. (The guy was very good looking, and quite a charmer, not at all what you would expect from a janitor.) But he never seemed to go out with the same woman more than once. The longer I watched him the more convinced I became that he was the best possible guy for my plan.

So one night I sat down beside him at a bar and started a conversation. He had no idea who I was, of course, and I pretended to know nothing about him. Soon I was spilling my sad story to him, and asking him for tips as to how to turn a Mexican gal on. He said it was easy, but then as we got into the details it turned out that his techniques depended on his Latino charm and his Spanish language skills. (Don't laugh. English and German speakers, for example, will never be the lovers that French, Spanish, and Italian speakers are. They don't call those romance languages for nothing.) So I gradually worked the conversation around to my plan. Maybe if he could turn the lady on, I could reap the harvest. He agreed that might work.

"Look," I said, "I've got some extra money, and if you're going to woo my gal you'll probably have some expenses. So how about we make a deal. I'll give you $100 up front. If you manage to seduce her and get her turned on, I'll give you another $100."

He thought about it a bit and, I'm sure, tried to size me up as an easy mark. Besides, janitors don't make all that much money, and I imagine the idea of a little extra was very appealing. His counter offer was $100 up front, $100 more if she kissed him passionately, a third $100 if she made love with him, and a fourth $100 if she was subsequently turned on to me. We compromised on up to $300, leaving out the passionate kiss bonus.

"So where do you work?" I asked.

When he told me, I exclaimed, "No kidding? You might even know who my wife is!"

When I gave him her name he frowned in concentration and said, "Oh si, I think I know what she looks like. A very pretty lady, that."

Obviously neither of us were coming completely clean here, but a bit of duplicity was probably a good thing in this kind of a deal. The truth is she is a very pretty lady. If you look closely you can see that age is starting to put some fine lines into her face, but her body is almost as well stacked as when I first met her. She has large breasts (wears a 38DD bra), a 30" waist that isn't quite as small as it used to be, and hips and thighs that she has been careful not to add any weight to. I could see Juan smiling to himself, and I knew he was thinking this might well be the most pleasant paying job he had ever had in his life.

Most of what I know about what followed I have learned in bits and pieces from talking to Juan and Gloria separately later, augmented by some surreptitious surveillance that I did myself. After all, I did want to verify that I was getting my money's worth. Part of it I've made up to fill in the gaps, but I hope you won't mind.

Juan lost no time, approaching Gloria at school the next day, and asking if she would be willing to talk to him more about what they had been discussing last fall. Naturally she agreed, and he suggested he could take her to a restaurant to eat at the end of the day. She hesitated a bit at that, and reminded him she was married.

"We wouldn't want anyone to see us and get the wrong idea," she said.

"I see what you mean, but I really would like to find some way to thank you for the time you're spending with me, and the help you're giving me. How about if we drive ten miles down the road to the next town, where no one will know us."

This was sounding worse and worse. Was he trying to make a date out of it? Not that she would mind dating him if she wasn't married...

"I don't think so, Juan. I'd be happy to talk with you, but that sounds too much like, you know..."

"I understand. OK, let's do it this way. We'll both drive over to the Safeway parking lot, and you can slip into my car after checking that there is no one you know anywhere around. Then I'll drive out of town and we can sit off the road somewhere and talk."

This still sounded to Gloria like they were trying to hide something, but she agreed. She just hoped he wouldn't try to make any moves on her. Especially since she wasn't sure she'd have the mental control to resist him.

But he was a perfect gentleman. They talked through his continuing loneliness, and after a while he expressed concern that he was taking so much of her time, and drove her back to Safeway.

"Mucho, mucho gracias!" he said, putting his hand lightly on hers. "You've helped me so much. Can we talk again soon?"

"Of course," she said smiling at him. "I'd love to."

(Actually almost all of their conversation was in Spanish, but I'm going to assume that many of my readers know even less Spanish than I do, and write as if they were speaking in English.)

He waited two days, then approached her again.

"Could we talk again after school, the way we did last time?"

"Yes, I'd like that very much."

This time he started mixing compliments into their conversation.

"Your husband is so lucky to have a wonderful woman like you. I wish I'd met someone like you when I was young. In fact, I wish I'd met you."

All this in Spanish, with earnest looks, but no touch at all. She was totally enchanted.

When they separated at the parking lot he said, "Gloria, I'd love to do this again tomorrow."

"Oh, yes, definitely! Let's do it!" she breathed.

The next night their eyes were constantly probing deep into each other as they talked.

He started saying things like, "You're so beautiful, Gloria. Oh how I wish I could touch you, but I mustn't, and I won't."

She too was aching to be touched, but she said nothing.

When they separated he said, "It's the weekend, so I won't be able to see you again until Monday!"

"Until Monday," she said, and squeezed his hand tightly.

On Monday after they were parked at "their" spot he whispered, "I'm sorry, I can't stop myself any longer," and reached his finger out to touch her cheek.

She just sat there, hands in her lap and hardly breathing, as he stroked lightly all over her face.

He ended by brushing her lips with his knuckle, and blurted out, "I wish I could kiss you."

"And I wish I could kiss you," she responded.

When they got back to the parking lot he asked, "How about a hug?"

"Yes!" she shot back intensely as she wrapped her arms around him.

Tuesday they were in each others' arms almost as soon as they reached their spot. They rubbed their cheeks together and kissed each others' earlobes. Then Juan started a little progression of kisses along the base of her jaw, moving ever toward her face. He reached the point of her jaw, and moved up to kiss her lower lip. She so wanted him to kiss her on the mouth, but he pulled back.

"I think we'd better stop".

The disappointment was obvious in her voice as she said, "Yes, I suppose we'd better stop."

As they got back to Safeway he warned, "We mustn't touch in any way here. We must be very careful not to be caught. Adios, mi amado."

"Adios, mi amado," she echoed.

On Wednesday their hands came together as soon as they left the parking lot. They pulled them to each other's mouths and took turns kissing each other's fingers. By the time they reached their spot they were stroking each other's thighs. He yanked on the parking brake and lunged for her mouth. She opened her lips to him and they kissed passionately. Soon their tongues were reaching for each other, and exploring and probing. Their bodies were pressed tightly together.

Slowly he started moving his left hand around from her back to her side, and from her side to where her bra cup started. She moaned and kissed him more frantically as he started to stroke and squeeze her breast through her blouse. She threw her right leg up over him, and hooked his ass with her heel, pulling his lower body closer to her.