Chapter 16: The Double Date

I hung around waiting for football practice to end. I had to find a "boyfriend" or two for Kassi and Brittany; and two of my baseball teammates, Will Patagonis, and Artie Spears, seemed good prospects for several reasons. Most importantly, they didn't have, nor had they ever had, a girlfriend. And it helped that they were fairly good-looking, if one over-looked Artie's facial blemishes.

Will limped out of the locker room on a pair of crutches.

"Geez, will, what happened to you?" I asked.

"Hey, Bree," he replied. "Aw, I got my ankle stepped on my Big Alex Dawson."

Dawson was a 300 pound tackle, who hoped to make all-state and go to the University of Southern California.

"Is it broken?"

"Hell no, Artie Spears volunteered, "maybe a high ankle sprain."

"Well, I gotta have my parents take me to the hospital for x-rays, just to make sure," Will said, and looked about as downcast as I'd ever seen him.

"If it's only a sprained ankle, what's the problem, buddy?"

"Competition, that's what," he said glumly. "Rowdy Jack Cummings is taking my spot, and he's better than I thought he was."

"Faster too," Artie added, knowing it would tick Patagonis off.

"Aw, screw you!" Will said, and then smiled, knowing he was being ragged on by his friend.

We stood there commiserating with him until his Mom pulled up in a dark green Chevy Blazer.

"Next year, I'll have my license," Will said as he opened the door. "Maybe I'll let you guys come with me to the drive-in."

"Yeah, really?" Artie responded.

"Really ... but I'm not to sure about you, Art."

"What?" Artie said, caught b off-guard.

"Yeah," Will laughed, "You'll have to kiss my ass first!" and he climbed into the SUV and got a distasteful look from his mother.

"Shit, what'd I do to him?" Artie asked.

"Forget it; he's busting your chops. He gets a car; you'll be the first one he asks to ride with him."

"You think?"

"Hey, you know him better than I do. What do you think?"

He smiled and slapped me on the back. "Way to go, Bree, you always know what to say."

Both of us walked a few blocks before sitting down to admire the ducks in a large pond of the Colson Farm.

"Nice, huh?" Artie said, sticking a leaf of grass in hi mouth and chew on it.

I did the same thing and sighed.

"What?" Artie asked, "Something wrong?"

I shrugged and said, "No, nothing's wrong, Art."

"Then why the big sigh?"

"I got women trouble."

He laughed, "You and me both."

I looked at him surprised. "You've got woman trouble?"

Still chuckling, Artie said, "Yeah, I don't have one."

Relief flooded my face, and I smiled. "Maybe, just maybe, I might be a help with that."

"Yeah?" he replied cautiously.

Well, I got a date ... that is, maybe I got a date, but she's got a friend and won't go single, you know?"

"Who is it?"

"You know I don't talk about that shit."

"I know. I know, but who's the extra girl?"

The truth was, I hadn't thought about which girl I wanted for myself.

"You know Kassi and Brittany?" I asked.

"Yeah, sure, they're both hot."

"Which one would you pick ... I mean, if you had a choice?"

"Brittany, by a cunt hair," he replied. "Shit, they're both hot. I dunno ... I'd fuck either of them."

"See," I said, "now that's one reason you ain't had much luck in the female department."

"Oh, like you have," he said, haughtily.

"I do all right," I said, and left it there. "Pick one," I said, giving him an ultimatum.

"Brittany," he said, and I could see the excitement in his eyes.

"Okay, now let me tell you something about women in general."

"I'm all ears, loverboy," he said, but I knew I had his complete attention.

"First off, you never, ever, kiss and tell."

"But bragging about it..."

I cut him off.

"Bragging about it is the best way to make sure you don't get any. Girls talk too. Just like the guys. Well, not like the guys, but they'll tell one another a few things and it stays there ... among the girls. But the guys ... jeez, they'll take an ad out in the paper, or put it on a billboard ... Jake, the Snake, nailed Cathy Kuntz."

Artie was laughing and nodding. "Yeah, yeah, I get it. So mum's the word."

"Are you free tomorrow ... I mean, after the game?"

"I sure am."

"We'll meet and go for an ice cream or something. It won't be expensive, and then we'll see how well the two of you hit it off."

"You mean, I'm gonna score? Man, I need to get laid!"

"I'm not promising anything but a date with a pretty girl, understand?"

"Yes," he said nervously.

"A date ... and only a date; and you'll be a gentleman."

"A gentleman ... I got it."

"You can follow my lead if you want. Most girls go along with whatever their girlfriend does. So if I get lucky, you might too. But I'm telling you, don't be in a rush to grab a breast, or put a hand up their leg. Get nasty ... with any of us and I'll kick the shit out of you. Understand?"

He was nodding as fast as he could.

I'll tell you this; the girl will let you know when, how far to go when she's ready."

"She will?"

"Of course she will. Just don't rush. They like to go slow. Guys are always in a hurry. Take your time. Go slow and you'll see. She'll be all over you."

"I understand ... Geez, Brittany ... oh, my God!"

My mother drove me over to Artie's house. We were going to meet both girls at Brittany's which was only three blocks away. The girls and I had decided earlier to grab a hamburger and a soda and then go to the movies. Artie never gave our decision a second thought.

We had also agreed that we would cool it on the sex, although both girls obviously didn't like the idea.

"Artie's not used to being around girls," I said. "And I know for a fact that you two aren't that familiar with guys ... excluding me, of course."

"How far can we go?" Kassi asked.

"I'll tell you what. Let's let Artie guide us. If he doesn't panic at close contact, take him a little further. Don't make a grab for his dick, for crying out loud, but a little tongue after some smooching wouldn't hurt."

"Should I slap his hand if he touches my breast?" Brittany inquired.

"That depends on how he does it."

"What do you mean?"

"Accidental shouldn't count. You know what accidental is, right?"

"I guess..."

"But after some French kissing, maybe you can let him get away with a couple cheap feels. That way he'll be all over you on the next date. You do want a next date, right?"

"Absolutely!"

"Okay then, any other questions?"

There were none and we ended the three-way phone conversation.

As we left his house, Artie's hand squeezed my shoulder briefly as he leaned forward. "Hey, man, I really appreciate this doubling. I've thought about asking one of our classmates for a date, but none of them ever gave me a sign that they were interested."

"Artie," I said, "girls don't usually give you a sign until you show an interest in them. It's too bad, too, because so many guys and girls are self-conscious and can't bring themselves to risk being rejected."

"They feel that way too?"

"Sure they do. I started talking with them and that's how I found out that they both thought you were kinda cute."

"Me, cute?"

"Yeah, you..." and I had to laugh at his expression.

The girls were waiting for us on Brittany's front porch. I saw Brittany's mother peeking out at us from behind a lace curtain. I waved at her, and she smiled at me and embarrassed at being caught, let the curtain fall back into place.

We started walking toward the theatre, with Artie a half-step behind Brittany. She snagged his sleeve and tugged him back beside her. "You aren't shy, are you, Artie?"

"Um, no ... I'm not," he stammered.

"Oh, then you must be checking out my rear end," she added, a gleam of excitement in her eyes.

"Oh, no! I ... I..."

I stepped in and rescued him. "Who could blame him if he were?"

"Why, Aubrey, you say the nicest things," Brittany cooed, absolutely pleased with herself for drawing the favorable comment from me.

Brittany was wearing khaki shorts -- not "short shorts" but short enough -- and a cropped yellow T-shirt that ended just at the waistband, giving me brief flashes of bare midriff. Not the sort of outfit I would have expected from her, but it definitely suited her.

Her thick, rich hair was uncoiled for a change; it spilled far past her shoulders and it swayed and bounced when she turned her head. The effect was definitely enticing. And if Aunt Nicole was correct about the way a girl dressed for a date being a guide to her mind-set, then this might turn out to be a very interesting evening.

Artie was still blushing, and I saw that he had a hard on...

'Already?' I thought, and started talking to distract Kassi and Brittany from noticing and saying something about it.

We stopped in at a MacDonald's a block from the movie theatre and had hamburgers and fries. Artie began getting comfortable, and made a few jokes that went well. He was gaining confidence, and that caused me to relax.

As we left MacDonald's and made our way to the movie, Brittany hooked her arm through Artie's and began chattering away about inconsequential things like shopping at the mall, and some TV show that I never had gotten around to watching.

Artie looked delighted with himself, and I turned my attention to Kassi.

She was wearing a peasant type blouse, with a scooped neckline that revealed the tops of her breasts. Like Brittany, she wore a pair of khaki shorts, and a pair of sandals that showed her legs to advantage.

"I should apologize," I said softly, so that only she would hear. "I haven't paid you the compliments you deserve."

"What do you mean?" she replied, moving closer so that our shoulders were touching.

"I've ignored you while trying to make sure that Brittany and Artie hit it off. I'm sorry about that."

"You don't need to apologize, ' she said, and I felt her hip and breast rub against my side.

"Okay," I said and leaned into her so that her breast was almost fully pressed against my arm.

She giggled contentedly.

We bought our tickets and went into the theatre. It wasn't crowded, actually only half-filled and we took a spot in the last row since it was unoccupied and the movie was about to begin.