Chapter 2

I had not intended on doing a second chapter to this story but so much feedback from readers prompted me to do so.

I sat there looking down at the tear streak face of my wife, the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on, not knowing what to say or think...

I took Nikki's face into my hands and looking into her eyes I said, "Lies are like dominos. One lie can knock out whole relationships, destroy entire aspects of people's lives or even limit their future in unforeseeable ways. You lied to me about what happened in college, and then you lied to me again about Tom Vance blackmailing you six months ago. Why?"

She took a deep breath and then said, "Knowing as I do that omission is a form of lying then yes, I am guilty as charged. My only defense is that at the time I honestly and truly believed that telling you about what I did in college would only serve to hurt the person I loved with all my heart. As for Tom Vance, remember I did tell you about him hitting on me but you're right, I did not tell you about the blackmail attempt because if I had, I would have had to tell what he was using to blackmail me with. But the main reason is that after I threaten him with the sexual harassment claim and I told him what you would do to him if he did call you he never once said a single solitary word to me again. That was six months ago and I thought it was over. Honey, if you believe nothing else please believe this, I would have told you the whole sordid tale about what I did in college, even at the expense of hurting or even loosing you, before sleeping with Tom or any other man."

I nodded at least understand her reasoning if not her justification and then I asked, "How did you know about Mike Norris working at the Chicago office and that he and Tom Vance were friends?"

"Tom told me about Mike when he tried to blackmail me. He assumed his knowing Mike would reinforce his hold over me. He also told me that if I didn't cooperate he could always have Mike give you a call too in order to validate his call to you."

"Huh," I said and then I asked, "You know Natalie was born very shortly after your ... your little foray at Facial Cruelty. What would think about getting a paternity test done?"

The hurt look on her face and the filling of her eyes would be imbedded in my mind forever, yet her control was such that no tears spilled over. "I guess I deserved that." She said softly and then she said, "This is very important to you, isn't it, Kirk?"

"Yes, very..."

"I know, with all certainty that both the girls are yours but I think having the test done is important for me too ... for us." She interrupted. "Yes, we should have it done, if for no other reason than for your peace of mind."

Then after taking a deep breath she continued, "This is going to be very difficult for me to talk about but ... you need to know that what I did that day at Facial Cruelty was acting..."

I started to interrupt her but she held up a hand stopping me, "I really need to get this out Kirk, and I know. I know. What I did on that tape was sickening, perverted, whorish, and it should never have happened, but it did and I can't take it back, and I'm very ashamed, and disgusted with myself but it was acting. You see, Mike and Eric tried to set everything up like a real business or something. And because ah ... god this is hard ... because protection would not be used all of us girls were required to get a complete exam and show a clean bill of health free of any STD's. Mike and Eric also showed us their clean exam results before anything actually happened. See, before the taping I was somewhat coached on what to do and what to say in order to best excite and stimulate their paying customers. Pretending that I had never seen Mike or Eric before that day and acting like the good little girl next door about to be married yet performing like a slut, I was told would be a big turn-on and entice guys to sign up to their site. Anyway, even though Mike or Eric never once ... ah god this is so hard ... never once actually completed inside me ... see that had to be saved for the very last and ... and doing it ... you know them ejaculating had to be out in the open so it could be on film. Oh god ... ah, and even though they never actually completed inside me, not inside my mouth or ... you know down there, I was wearing my diaphragm and I was full of spermicide."

Nikki was really sobbing now and she buried her face in my knee. Listening to her had not been as painful as I would have imagined it would have been and I attributed that to the fact that I had watched the disk. What could be worse than that?

I didn't say anything. I didn't pat her on the back. I didn't comfort her in any way and I guess my lack of affection brought out the strong, self-reliant woman I had fallen in love with so many years before because Nikki got to her feet, wiped her cheeks with the knuckles of her hands, and looking down at me defiantly she said, "All right Kirk, you know all of it now. I'll tell you once again that I'm very sorry and ashamed for what I did, and I'm even more sorry that I hurt you, but as much as I wish I could, I can't undo it. It is what it is. So where do we go from here?"

I didn't respond right away trying to sort out my feeling and my lack of response prompted Nikki to say, "I love you very much Kirk but my feelings are completely irrelevant in this case. Only your feelings are important, so when you understand what you're feeling and what you want to do please let me know. I can tell you this; whatever you decide I will fight to my last dyeing breath for custody of our girls. I can not, and I will not live with out them. I don't know what you did with that damn disk but if it will help I'll take the girls over to mom's and you can watch it over and over again and perhaps you'll be able to determine what your true feeling for me are."