Chapter 3: Delayed Arrival

PRE-COLLEGE (September 1998)

"That's right, baby! Grab my tits! Squeeze them! Fuck, yeah, I love your hands on me! Don't ever stop touching me! Fuck, fuck, FUCK! I'm cumming!!!"

Doggy-style had become a favorite position for Ellie and me. Personally, I kinda liked it better when she was on top, riding me cowgirl style. That way, I had a wonderful view of all my favorite things. But that was for the few occasions we just wanted to take our time, to make love slowly and sensuously. That kind of sex was still a new thing for us. We were much (MUCH) more practiced at teenaged, hurried screwing.

Ellie was in a screwing mood today. And so I was hunched over her back, plugging her pussy from behind while my hands wrapped around and mauled her swaying breasts. And at her moment of climax, Ellie's arms collapsed and her upper torso crashed downwards onto my bed as she howled in delight, oblivious to anything but her monster orgasm.

Our bodies went toppling forward and I instinctively splayed my hands to the sides to brace against the mattress lest I crush her. But even though my mind stopped concentrating on holding my own orgasm at bay, my dick still pumped into her tight love canal while her inner muscles spasmed and squeezed my rod.

That was all it took, and I actually felt the recoil in my cock as it fired away. I closed my eyes and pictured each volley of cum rocketing up the shaft and exploding outwards, splashing against the inner walls of Ellie's pussy. I imagined millions of tiny sperm pushing their way through Ellie's teenaged cervix and into her womb on a futile search for an egg.

My own teenaged brain probably wasn't developed enough yet to comprehend the consequences. But in that moment, with this gorgeous girl beneath me, I decided I wouldn't really mind so much if by some miracle she got pregnant. While we'd only been romantically together for less than a year, I'd known Ellie since first grade.

True, I'd thought she had cooties and waged a war between the sexes with her up until we turned 13. But already I could envision what my life might be like with Ellie permanently by my side.

It was an idea I could never have thought of with Monica, whom I lusted for but never really loved. I'd always known in the back of my head that Monica and I would eventually go our separate ways. But with Ellie... maybe things didn't have to turn out that way.

And so as we cuddled together in the aftermath of our lovemaking, I circled my arms a little tighter around her naked body and actually hummed happily. She craned her head around and looked right at me with luminous eyes, letting me see my own happiness reflected back at me. And then we came together for a kiss, lightning bolts as always shooting through us and giving me an electric thrill as our souls touched for just a brief moment.

"Elemis..." I started to say in a quiet voice. And then the phone rang.

Mentally, I cried "SHIT!" I think my mouth mimed the word as well as soon as I broke our kiss. No one called the house during the daytime. All the telemarketers knew to call during dinner. So the call was probably for me.

It rang twice more before I got to the receiver. "Yeah?" I answered in a gruffly annoyed tone. Ellie just smiled and snuggled deeper into the pillow, still in recovery mode from our intense sexual session.

"David, I'm assuming Ellie's there?"

"Cherys?"

"Yes. Is she?"

"Well, yeah."

Cherys sighed. "Well, you'd better get her back. My parents are home and they're wondering where she is." Her tone was a warning. Crap, we were in some sort of trouble.

I turned and told Ellie, who whined, "It's only four o'clock. What they hell are they doing home?"

My eyes went wide and my eyebrow arched as if to say, "Why the heck are you asking ME?"

Ellie just rolled her eyes and reached to grab the receiver from me. Doing so exposed a firm breast to my eyes and I was momentarily distracted before she got it out of my grip. I made to paw at her but she just slapped my hand away playfully as she asked, "Cherys, what's going on?"

I couldn't hear the other end of the conversation, so I occupied myself by dragging my fingers along Ellie's naked spine.

"Uh-huh. Well, what do they expect? We're leaving for college in less than a week. Of COURSE I'm going to be spending the day with my boyfriend..." Ellie shook her head in exasperation. "Fine, fine. I'll be home in ten minutes."

She hung up and without saying another word, she tackled me onto my back and pressed her lips to mine. I moaned happily into the kiss and we lay there making out for a good two minutes.

When we finally broke for air, Ellie sighed. "Okay. Show's over. Time to head home."

I drove the entire way with my right hand on Ellie's thigh. Her own hands absently played with my fingers or stroked my forearm. Then we turned the corner onto her street and saw it.

"Holy SHIT!" Ellie was squealing, clutching my arm.

Ellie's parents and Cherys were standing on the street, out by the curb. And parked in the driveway behind them was a cherry red Volkswagen. I've seen Ellie absolutely glow during a fantastic orgasm. I'm sad to admit that the look on her face now was even more thrilled than that.

She was screaming at such a high pitch I'm sure that neighborhood dogs were cowering in fear. And as soon as I pulled up, Ellie bounced out of my car and went running to her parents. She jumped at them and grabbed both parents in a big hug. And then she went running to Cherys to hug her before laying herself on the hood of the car and hugging it as well.

I parallel parked on the street and took a good once over on the car. Based on some key model distinctions I recognized, it was maybe 4 or 5 years old. But the wax job and gleaming paint sure made it look brand new. And Ellie didn't look like she cared one iota. I couldn't say anything. My high school hunk of junk was already past a decade old.

"Holy shit! I should have known!" Ellie exclaimed.

"Elemis. Your language," her dad rebuked.

"Sorry, daddy. But THANK YOU! Argh! I should've known! But Cherys didn't get her car until the day before she left! You're early!"

"Well," Cherys interrupted. "We had to do something to make it a surprise."

"You!" Ellie pointed a finger at her older sister. "You KNEW on the phone and you didn't even give me a hint!" She made to tickle or otherwise attack Cherys, who backed away, laughing all the while.

"Elemis," her Dad's voice cut in. "Leave your sister alone. Don't you want to take it for a spin?" He held up the keys, which chimed nicely in his hands.

Ellie immediately turned around and swiped them from his hand. "Thank you daddy!" She hugged him and pecked him on the cheek. Then she stopped and hugged her mom. And at long last, she turned to me, leaning against the hood.

"Whaddaya say? Wanna go for a ride?"

My mind immediately went to a different definition of 'ride'. And from the look on Ellie's face, she might have had a similar idea. But I schooled my features so as not to give anything away in front of her parents. And I just nodded slightly. "Let's go."

Big sister Cherys stopped me before we got in. She held my shoulder and looked straight at me. "Looks like this is for real. Ellie's an adult and she has her own wheels, she's independent. You two off to college and I won't be able to watch you guys all the time. So promise me you'll take care of my baby sister."

I felt momentarily awkward by the serious tone in her voice, but I managed to say, "I promise."

Cherys smiled and hugged me. "I know you will. You're a great guy David." I glowed at the praise from my eternal dream girl.

Ellie and I got in the car, Ellie in the driver's seat, of course. I was surprised at the huge amount of interior space and head room the little bugger had. I was already feeling around the passenger seat controls to decide how best to have sex in this car. Probably if I reclined all the way and scooted the seat back a few notches.

Ellie grinned at me just before she flipped the key. "I know a great place to park."

Tomorrow. That would be the day.

I sat in my desk chair, looking around my room. Most of my bags were packed, all the important clothing and personal affects already cleared out. I left my posters and other decorations behind. My parents would pretty much leave my room the way it was until I came back for breaks or various vacations. But it still felt so... weird. This was only bedroom I really ever knew.

Tomorrow, I would leave my world behind and embark on a new adventure. At least I had someone to share the journey with.

Ellie would be coming by to pick me up. Ever since she got her new ride, we'd both wanted to tool around town in it. Hey, it was newer and definitely a cooler car than mine, and she was a good driver besides. I didn't even mind the emasculating notion of not being behind the wheel, although we did find it was physically much easier for her to blow me while I was driving rather than the other way around.

We had plans for our last night: A little food, a short walk in the park, maybe a little lovemaking underneath the stars. She'd kissed me so tenderly last night. I could still taste her on my lips even now.

The thing was, she was supposed to pick me up at seven. It was already 7:30. Not a big deal. Ellie often ran late, it's just a common hazard when dealing with beautiful women. But she usually called to let me know why.

As if on cue, the phone rang. The receiver was in my hands immediately.

"Hey! Where the hell are you?"

"David," came the male voice.

"Uh, hello?" I wondered. Was somebody calling for one of my parents?

In a very soft voice, he continued, "This is Ellie's father."

I don't know exactly why, but the instant he used the nickname 'Ellie' I knew something was terribly wrong. I could actually hear the mini-pause as he forced himself to use that name for my benefit. And all of a sudden, I couldn't speak.

All was quiet for another two seconds before he realized I wasn't going to say anything. And then came the words I was dreading. "Ellie was in a car accident an hour ago."

I felt a chill run down my spine. A cold so bitter and so intense it wrapped around my heart and began squeezing. Still I said nothing, but I think a wailing groan began somewhere beneath my stomach and sort of creaked out of me.

"We needed something from the grocery store. Ellie grabbed her keys and immediately volunteered to pick it up. The other driver had been drinking, and he blew through the red light at sixty-five." Her father's voice, so soft, now choked up.

I still said nothing. I could hear in his voice that he wasn't finished yet, and I dared not interrupt. But that wail was growing in my throat. And I felt the first tear rolling down my cheek.

"His truck hit squarely against the driver's door. She never had a chance to get out of the way." He went quiet again, and I heard him sniffling on the other end of the line.

After another moment of silence I finally croaked, "Where is she?"

"We're all at the hospital."

"I'll be right there."

"David," his voice came urgently and intensely. "You can come. But you should know. Ellie was killed instantly. They can't bring her back."

Hearing his words confirmed it, but I already knew. It had been in his tone of voice. Nothing else was said as I dropped the phone into the cradle and ended the call. And then the weight of my world sank down onto my shoulders and I felt like I'd shrunk three inches.

I don't know how long I sat there staring at the phone. But as soon as I could move I moved with a purpose. I paused only once, to wipe the tears out of my eyes. Then I grabbed my car keys and I was headed downstairs.

I was halfway out the door when my mom saw me and barked, "David!"

I came to a dead stop, but I didn't turn around.

"Where are you going? Isn't Ellie coming to pick you up tonight?" she asked.

"Ellie's dead." And then I walked away,

Cherys was waiting for me by the front doors when I got to the hospital. For the first time since I can remember, a little sexual thrill did not go through me upon seeing her. Her makeup was smeared and she looked ready to start crying again.

Once she saw me she did start crying. And we came together in a tight hug that was about nothing but support in our grief. I clutched her intensely, crushing her to my body for a few moments, my mind racing because she smelled so much like Ellie. Me? I couldn't cry any more. My emotions had just shut down until I was a walking robot.

Eventually, Cherys got control of her sniffles. And after wiping away the tears she offered to lead me to her parents.

When I came upon Ellie's mother and father, I wanted to say something poignant... or at least tell them I was sorry. But I couldn't say anything. And somehow, looking at the pain on the faces of parents who have lost their offspring, I realized there were no words.

Her mom hugged me. And then I actually hugged her dad.

And so the four of us stood in the waiting room. Somewhere behind the double doors lay the lifeless body of my girlfriend. It was explained to me that the doctors had checked to make sure that she was completely gone, and that there were no chances of reviving her. Shortly, they would move her body to the morgue.

I interrupted at that point. "I want to see her."

"Are you sure? Her body is pretty beat up."

I stared straight at the doors. "I want to see her."

So I did. It's something I hope you never have to experience.

I didn't leave for college the next day. Cherys didn't either. In fact, neither of us left for college the rest of the week. I spent every day over at their house, in Ellie's bedroom, living in a half-catatonic state.

For some reason, Cherys was handling it better than I was. Perhaps it was because up until recently, she hadn't been very close to her sister. Ever since Cherys had come out as a lesbian, she'd been separated from her family by some invisible wall. Only since the past Winter Break had the two begun forming a close bond with each other. In any case, Cherys was the one coming to console me.

I barely noticed her presence. I'd be sitting on Ellie's bed, staring at her things and remembering all the good times when Cherys would check in on me, touch my arm or my back and ensure that I was still breathing.

I'd dated her for less than a year, but I'd begun to fall in love with Ellie. And having her wrenched away from me just as we were about to embark on our great journey together had crippled me, as if one of my two legs had been taken away. I'd like to think I wasn't overreacting. After all, I wasn't suicidal or anything. But I couldn't move on. And each little inkling inside of me that tried to move on was smothered by guilt at dishonoring her memory or something.

Perhaps I would get some closure on Saturday. The funeral was scheduled for then. Quite a few of Ellie's friends had already made plans to return home.

Monica and Nate flew back. Most of our High School clique showed up. I'm pretty sure everyone expressed their sympathies to me, but I don't remember much from that day.

One thing I do remember was how beautiful and peaceful Ellie looked in her casket before they closed the lid. Up until then, the lasting image in my mind was that of her mangled body, covered in drying blood, while she lay dead in that hospital bed. Somehow, seeing her cleaned up and at peace managed to wash away some of the pain inside me. I knew, at least for a moment, that I would be alright in the end.

But it was just a moment.

And then I went back into emotional shutdown. I didn't come out for months.

WINTER QUARTER, FRESHMAN YEAR (January 1999)

It was a tradition for incoming freshman to be assigned to the school dormitories. Almost all of our parents followed it. So Danielle and Cherys before me went into the dorms. Ellie and I were assigned to dorms, as well. We'd already been planning discussions with our respective roommates for various signals to get some private sex time.

Ellie, obviously, wouldn't be attending.

And after what happened, my parents decided tradition didn't matter that much. Actually, they discussed the matter with the school administration and my enrollment was deferred by a quarter. I didn't go to school until January and my dorm bed was given away to someone else.

I would be living where someone could keep an eye on me.

After their obligatory year in the dorms, Danielle and Cherys had gotten a two- bedroom apartment together just off-campus. This had been known and accepted for months. Perhaps Cherys' parents liked to convince themselves that the girls would have separate bedrooms. But now I would be in that second bedroom. That way, my big sister Danielle could keep a watchful eye on me and Cherys' parents understood.

And so I finally got to college, albeit with a delayed arrival.

When I pulled up to the apartment in my beater car, Danielle came down the stairs to greet me. Cherys waved hello from the front door on the second floor and went back inside after I waved back.

"Hey squirt." Danielle reached up and hugged me.

For some reason, the nickname had stopped bothering me. There was just something about that big sisterly love in the way she said it. "Hey Dani."

"How're mom and dad?"

"They're fine." I let her go and took a deep breath, looking around. "So? You here to help me move in?"

Danielle snorted. "Hell, no. You're a big boy. You can't have that much stuff in your car!" She laughed and then went back up the stairs empty-handed.

I grumbled loudly and then turned around to start unpacking. But by the time I got the first heavy suitcase out of the trunk, Danielle and Cherys were both already fishing some of the lighter items out of my backseat and carrying them up.

"Hurry up, squirt. There's a cold six-pack in the fridge and you're not getting any till this car is parked."

And so in the cold of January, I began my college career a quarter late.

The transition wasn't easy. All of my classmates already had a few months of experience under their belts. I'd missed out on the mass open-adjustment period, when all the freshmen were friendly with one another since cliques had yet to form. I'd missed out on the upper-classmen patience period, when they would willingly answer any dumb question a froshling asked because they knew the youngster didn't know any better.

Everyone else had their friends well established. I was the new guy and I had to play catch-up. So in an instant, I'd gone from the top of the social pecking order to the lowliest outcast freshman. Not even football could save me this time. I'd already missed the Fall Quarter and with it the football season. No matter, I would have just been a walk-on anyways.

In retrospect, my emotional turmoil had a small silver lining. I barely even noticed how I went from hometown big man on campus to lowly freshman at a big state University. I don't know how my ego would have reacted if I'd been paying attention.

Danielle and Cherys were my saviors, in more ways than one. At our new home, Danielle was constantly hovering over me, like a second mother. Most guys would have hated it, especially little brothers. But I felt fragile enough inside that each time she checked in on me felt like a gentle touch of family love. I was alone often enough through self-imposed isolation and having her around reminded me that there were other people in this world.

Secondly, without her, I probably would have starved. At home, my mom constantly made sure I was fed. I had a habit of losing myself into video games and completely forgetting to eat. In our apartment, Danielle was the master chef and ensured I took at least moderate care of myself. If she hadn't taken care of all the little details keeping me alive, I don't know how I would have ended up.

Cherys, meanwhile, bonded with me in a way I can't quite accurately describe. She treated me like a younger sibling in some ways, as if I was filling the empty hole inside where her little sister used to be. We talked as if we were family, without the verbal filters than unrelated people usually use between each other.

And thirdly, Danielle and Cherys were able to resurrect the physical, sexual part of me that had partially gone into hiding when I lost my favorite playmate.

Much in the same way I was a substitute to Cherys for her little sister, to me she was a substitute for my lost girlfriend. The physical resemblance was just the start. Cherys became much more casually physical around me, and I got a lot more hugs and tender caresses on my arms or legs. Also, it was not uncommon for her to cuddle up to me on the sofa when we were watching TV, resting her head in the crook of my neck with my arm wrapped around her. If not for her satisfying my cravings for basic human affection, I would have been a lot worse off.

And it was inevitable that Danielle and Cherys would return to their own physical intimacy. So once again I could hear them through the shared wall of our bedrooms.

On the Saturday evening after I arrived, the two supremely beautiful women retired to their bedroom and soon after, familiar moaning began to drift over into my hearing. Obviously, I hadn't had sex since Ellie, which was now almost four months ago. I'd barely even masturbated since then. For some reason, my magazines just didn't have the same appeal to me.

But now, hearing the two of them sent new thrills into my body. I'd been staring at the ceiling, wallowing in my misery when they started up. Unbidden, the images of both their naked bodies floated into my mind. I knew what they both looked like, having memorized their naked curves during that fateful Winter break and imprinted them into permanent storage.

My dick reacted before I did, and soon the urgent throbbing proved to be too much of a distraction. I grabbed the box of tissues and wrapped my hand around the shaft. And so closing my eyes, I surrendered myself to old fantasies half- remembered and listened to the aural sounds of feminine pleasure. And when relief finally came, it kept coming and coming until all the pent-up stress had gone away, at least for a little while. And then I got my first good night of sleep in a long while.

Fourth and finally, Danielle and Cherys were the primary reason I started to go out at interact with the world once again. Well, them and their hot friends.

Danielle and Cherys had quite the social clique orbiting around them. Both were very outgoing girls and our off-campus apartment was a popular place to be, so I was treated to a steady flow of lesbian and bisexual girls in our little living room. Many of them were pretty butch. Some even had biceps bigger than mine. But there were quite a few feminine ones among them, and some pretty ones even rivaled Danielle and Cherys for sheer beauty.

One thing I've noticed throughout my life is that gay guys frequently have straight female friends around. I'd heard the term "fag hag" quite a bit. But for some reason, lesbian girls very rarely have straight male friends. Maybe it's just that most straight guys can't handle being around girls they can't have.

So I was usually the only one with a Y-chromosome in the entire apartment. I wasn't gay. And yet, because of the depressive funk I was still in over Ellie, I wasn't even trying to flirt with the bevy of beautiful girls around.

The girls' friends found this odd at first. But once my tragic situation was explained to them, they quickly accepted me and my constant presence. Every hour I wasn't in classes I spent in the apartment.

While I stayed in my own room for the most part, I still had to go to the bathroom on occasion or venture to the kitchen to find food. Danielle and Cherys' friends got used to my frequent comings and goings and even initiated general pleasantries with me.

"Hey David." "How are you feeling David?" "Good morning, David."

My response usually consisted of "Hey Leslie (or other woman, insert her name here)" or "I'm fine" or "Good morning." Never more than a two word answer. Never a sentence that might lead to an actual conversation. I just looked at the floor and went back into my room to feel depressed. Quite a few of the girls, lesbian or not, adopted something of a mothering attitude over the poor young boy who'd lost his girlfriend in a tragic accident.

Eventually, some of them got through to me. Little by little, they would draw an extra word or two out of me. And after a while, I even began to laugh again.

One girl, Nataliya, was a beautiful blonde with soft hazel eyes and happened to be a recent immigrant from Russia. I found her exotic and she never failed to cheer me up with her thickly-accented comments about this strange and wonderful America. She acted like another big sister around me and always stopped by my room whenever she visited. Cherys even teased her, "You getting sweet on the kid? Or you just looking to marry your way into citizenship?"

I wasn't too worried. Nataliya had a girlfriend and was a lesbian, right? No point getting your hopes up. I'd learned that lesson with Cherys.

And so as time went on, while Ellie's death had sucked the emotional life out of me, the social person inside started to breathe again. For one thing, the hormones surging inside me refused to let me stay in a completely vegetative state while all the pretty girls were around. I was still far from the outgoing big man on campus I used to portray, but at least the zombie days were over.

The first few days of the quarter, Danielle walked with me to campus, even when it was out of the way of her own classes. If convenient, Cherys joined along as well. And so after a week or so, many of my new freshman classmates saw me hanging out with two of the most gorgeous women to ever grace the university. It didn't take long for the boys to start asking me about them. And when I started walking around campus with a few of Danielle and Cherys' hot friends, the males in my classes started pestering me with even more questions.

Some of my notoriety from the guys went away when the truth came out that Danielle was my sister and that I was not, in fact, banging any of the girls. But even then, many were asking me how they could get one girl or another to go out with them.

And then came the question I wasn't personally prepared for. "Hey, if she's your sister, then do you have a girlfriend? What about the other hot chicks?"

The thought caught me completely off-guard. One minute, I was walking with a few classmates to a dorm's dining hall to find lunch. The next, I'd stopped dead in my tracks and was staring at the ground. The zombie was back, even if just for a brief moment.

I stood there in perfect stillness, remembering Ellie. I must have appeared catatonic because when I blinked, there were two guys in front of me, waving their hands in front of my face. "Hey, man. You alright?"

I blinked a few more times and fought down the pain that threatened to overwhelm me. I looked up and focused on a distant point between the two of them. With all the gravity of unbearable pain in my voice, I said "I don't want to talk about it." And then I started walking off towards lunch again.

Of course, no teenager could just leave it at that. And despite being college, we were still just teenagers. So the boys kept trying to figure out my girlfriend situation, to learn the story behind it. And the mystery snowballed along in the rumor mill.

In the meantime, I also kept up with some of my old buddies from high school who were attending the University. As these things tend to do, my circle of friends began to meld into a combination of both high school and new college friends, with a relatively balanced mixture of males and females.

For at least a week, my high school friends respected my silence over the issue and the truth didn't immediately come out. But little by little, the rumor mill turned over and pretty soon everyone knew Ellie had been killed by a drunk driver just before school started.

It was a singular event that explained many of the mysteries around me. Why I shut down whenever someone asked about my girlfriend. Why I missed the first quarter of school. Why I wasn't in the dorms.

You learn a lot about people by the way they act around you in that situation. Some people just try to ignore it and behave as if it never happened. Some get all awkward and feel like they have to wear kid gloves around you, avoiding certain subjects. And some embrace it as a part of your history and just try to be straight with you.

Two such people, Jen and Kevin, soon became my best friends. Kevin had lost his own best friend in high school when a stupid stunt turned fatal. The guy had tried to skateboard down a stair railing by city hall, just showing off. He'd fallen and broken his neck. Jen had been the poor guy's girlfriend. In the aftermath, they'd found each other.

They'd been where I was coming from. And that common ground formed a bond that I hoped would last a lifetime.