My marriage is over. I knew what I did was wrong and I did it anyway. I could have said no, but I didn't. I learned later that there were external forces at play, but that doesn't change the fact that I could have avoided it all if I had but chosen to do so. My big crime? I let my dick make a decision for me.

Ellie and I had been sweethearts from the seventh grade on. I was her first and only boyfriend. We went steady through junior high and high school and I proposed on the day we graduated. Ellie said yes and then we found out that things were not all that simple. Both sets of parents were against our getting married and it wasn't my parents didn't like Ellie of her parents didn't like me; it was because they felt we were too young and that we needed to wait until we had gotten through college. Ellie's parents worked hard on her and mine worked just as hard on me and in the end they got what they wanted.

Ellie went of to Eastern Michigan to get her degree and I went to U of M to get mine. We didn't expect it to be a major problem because the two schools were less than thirty miles apart. We talked to each other almost every day and we saw each other on weekends. But being apart after being together for so long altered the relationship. It was my first time away from Ellie. There had never been another girl in my life because Ellie was always there.

The first couple of months at Michigan were spent finding out where things were and getting settled in. I was in constant touch with Ellie by phone, but eventually I began to notice the girls that I was attending classes with and being a horny young guy who was missing his regular pussy (yes - Ellie and I had consummated our relationship - many times over) I could not help but look at some of them and wonder if making it with them would be different than making it with Ellie. Wondering is all I probably would have done had not some of those girls done some wondering of their own.

It was a Monday and I was attending a mixer at the Delta Omega house and I'd had a half a dozen beers and was feeling pretty mellow when a girl who was in my English Lit 101 class pulled me into a corner and started kissing me. I swear to God, she was the aggressor all the way but as a young horny guy I was going to push her away? Not fucking hardly!

"I wondered what it would be like to kiss you" she said. "Are you any good in bed?"

How in the hell are you supposed to answer a question like that if you are a guy? Only one way! "I've not had any complaints" I said which was true because I'd only ever had sex with Ellie and she had never complained.

"Well let us just see" and she took me by the hand and led me off to a bedroom.

Now Ellie had been my only experience, but I wanted to show this girl I could live up to my boast and the only way I could think of doing that was to make it last for a while. I spent a lot of time on foreplay, including eating her pussy, and then I took my time fucking her. I wanted to get off in the worst way, but I forced myself to go slow and take my time. She was yelling at me to go faster, do it harder and push it deep, but I ignored her and as a result she had three orgasms before I finally couldn't hold back any longer. She lay there looking up at me and then said:

"I'm taking you home with me."

Home was a three bedroom house that she shared with five other girls. We did it twice more that night and then fell asleep together. I woke up alone in the morning and I got up and dressed. I went down the stairs and into a living room where four almost naked females were bustling about getting ready to get dressed. All of them had panties on and three of them were wearing bras, but the fourth, a rather striking redhead, was bare breasted. None of them paid any attention to me or made any effort to cover up. In fact, the redhead just stood there so I could feast my eyes on her tits and I knew she was doing it deliberately because I could see her nipples stiffen. A little blond came up to me and said:

"Debbie had an early class and she said to tell you that she would meet you at the library at three."

I spent the next three nights in Debbie's bed. On Friday morning I woke up to a blow job and when I looked I saw that it wasn't Debbie - it was the redhead. By the end of my freshman year I had screwed all five of the girls sharing that house and not a one of them cared that I was doing the other four also.

I spent the weekends with Ellie trying to fuck me to death and the week nights with Debbie or one of her roommates trying to do the same thing. Eventually my grades began to suffer and I was on the ragged edge of flunking out so I ended up cutting back on the nights I spent with Debbie and the rest of the girls in the house. I started my sophomore year determined that my classes would take priority. By mid-point of my soph year three of the five girls had dropped out of school and only Debbie and Alice (the redhead) were still around. The two of them became my 'steadies' until the start of my junior year when Debbie didn't return to school following spring break. Alice was my main squeeze through the balance of my junior year, but she didn't return to school at the start of our senior year.

I mention all this because it played a major part in the disaster. It gave me an unrealistic mind set. I saw what the five girls were doing and what other girls were doing and I saw what the guys I knew were doing and I knew what I was doing and I assumed that Ellie was doing the same over at Eastern Michigan. We never talked about things like that when we were together; I just assumed that she was sowing her wild oats and getting it out of her system just as I was. The others meant nothing to me; I was totally in love with Ellie and from what I saw Ellie was totally in love with me.

Graduation came and Ellie and I found work in our chosen fields and Ellie and her mother began planning the wedding. Six months after our graduation Ellie and I were married and we set up house keeping.

Did you ever know someone that you didn't care for, but didn't know why? That is how I felt about Sonia. Sonia was a girl that Ellie met in her freshman year at EMU. They became close friends and they stayed close after graduation. She was an extremely sexy looking lady. She had a nice personality and a great sense of humor, but whenever I was around her I felt bad vibes. If there was something definite I could have gone to Ellie and said:

"I don't like her and I don't want her around and here is why."

But there wasn't any way I could go to Ellie and say that I didn't want her around because she gives off bad vibes. She was Ellie's close friend and I was just going to have to live with it. Ellie and Sonia worked fairly close to each other so they had lunch together two or three times a week and at least once a week they met for a drink or two after work.

A couple of years went by and then one Monday night at a birthday party for a friend held at a local lounge my life changed and not for the better. The drinks were flowing, the music was loud and I was having a blast. I'd had enough to drink that I was having a great time, but not thinking too clearly. Sonia came up to me and pulled me out onto the dance floor.

I did mention that Sonia was a sexy lady, right? Well, she plastered herself against me, rubbed her tits into my chest, pushed her leg against my cock and kept it there and when the music stopped she pulled me against her and kissed me hard. She shoved her tongue in my mouth and after a long kiss she pulled me off the dance floor and pulled me along behind her out into the parking lot. Every ten feet or so she would stop and give me another long kiss with lots of tongue action and rub my cock through my pants and then pull me another ten feet or so and do it again.

My head wasn't all that clear and my cock was trying to bust out of my trousers. Even though I wasn't thinking all that clearly I knew that I shouldn't be letting Sonia do what she was doing. I knew, but my cock was straining to be set free and the blood my brain needed to properly function was in my dick. Sonia was pulling me along saying:

"Hurry Chuck, hurry. I've wanted this since I met you and this is my chance."

She finally got me to her car, pulled me inside and then pushed me down on my back on the rear seat. She unzipped me, pulled out my cock and then she crawled on top of me. "Oh God baby, I want this, I really want this" she said as she took hold of my cock, lined it up with her pussy and then sat down on it. I lay there looking up at her as she fucked herself on my erection and thinking, "This is wrong. I shouldn't be doing this. It just isn't right" but I made no attempt to push Sonia off me. She was pulling up and then driving down hard on me and moaning:

"So good, so good baby; I should have done this long ago. Cum for momma baby, come for momma."

As much as I'd had to drink I wasn't going to be cumming anytime soon and that seemed to suit Sonia as she pounding down on me and had orgasm after orgasm. I have no idea how long we were at it before she screamed out loud:

"Oh God yes!"

And then she collapsed on my chest and moaned, "Again baby, I want to go again. Give me just a minute to get my breath back."

As she lay on top of me breathing hard I finally woke up to the fact that I needed to get her off of me and get away from her, but as soon as I had that thought I heard:

"God damn you Chuck! How could you do this to me?"

I looked over Sonia's shoulder and saw Ellie standing outside the car looking in. Sonia scrambled to get off of me and then went running after Ellie leaving me in the car and feeling like shit. I got myself together and headed for the lounge to face the music. On the way I met Ellie and Sonia coming out. Ellie gave me a dirty look and said:

"I'll be staying with Sonia. I really don't want to talk to you or have anything to do with you right now."

I stood there numb as I watched the two of the walk to Sonia's car, get in and drive away.

I woke up the next morning with the mother of all hangovers. I was alone in the bed so I drug myself out and headed for the kitchen to see if Ellie had the coffee on and it wasn't until I walked into the room that I remembered that Ellie wasn't there. And then I remembered why.

I put the coffee on, called in sick to work and then I sat down at the kitchen table and stared at the wall. Why in God's name had I done what I did last night? I was in deep shit and I knew it and I didn't know how I was going to get out of it. I had no defense. All I could do was say that I was sorry and that I had been drunk and didn't know what I was doing, but that would be a lie and I had never been very good when it came to lying to Ellie. It was true that I had been drinking excessively, but I knew what was happening and I knew it was wrong and I hadn't fought it. I knew that if I hadn't been drinking that it never would have happened, but that was scant consolation.

After six cups of coffee and after looking at it from every angle imaginable I realized that my only hope was to get down on my knees and beg for forgiveness. It took me until two in the afternoon to work up the courage to call Ellie at work. As soon as she heard my voice she said:

"I don't want to talk to you right now and I don't want you bothering me. I'll call you when I feel I'm ready to talk" and then she hung up on me.

Okay I thought, maybe a cooling off period would be a good thing. I managed to survive Tuesday and I went into work on Wednesday expecting that I would hear from Ellie when I got home that night, but she didn't call. A half a dozen times I caught myself reaching for the phone and each time I talked myself out of picking it up and calling her. Best let her make the first move I told myself, don't push her.

I don't know exactly when I started to feel uneasy. It was probably Wednesday night when I got ready for bed or it may have been Thursday morning when I was getting ready for work. What it was that started the feeling didn't register until halfway through the day on Thursday and then I began to have some very unsettling thoughts. When I got home that night the first thing I did was head for the bathroom and open the medicine cabinet. Nothing of Ellie's was in the cabinet. I looked at the counter-top and noticed that all of Ellie's cosmetics were gone. A check of her closet showed that some of her clothes were gone. Had Ellie come home while I had been at work? I didn't think so. In fact, the more I thought about it the more I was sure that the bathroom counter-top had been bare on Tuesday morning. Had the clothes been gone on Tuesday too? Had she packed them and taken them out of the house on Monday?

The more I thought about it the more the fog cleared away. I had been so busy feeling guilty and feeling sorry for myself that I had not been thinking straight. Ellie catches her best friend fucking me and she walks out on me and goes home with the woman I cheated with? Something didn't add up and I was getting a very bad feeling.

I picked up the phone and called Sonia's and got no answer. I tried several more times and still got no answer. I got up early on Friday and called. Sonia answered and I asked for Ellie and Sonia told me that Ellie didn't want to talk with me and she hung up. At nine I called Ellie at work and as soon as she heard my voice she said:

"Damn it Chuck, I told you not to bother me. I'll call you when I'm ready to talk to you."

"Ellie, we have some major problems here and we need to talk about them now."

"When I'm ready Chuck. Not until I'm ready" and she hung up on me again.

I was starting to get pissed. Nothing about what was going on smelled right. I decided to hell with talking on the phone and I left work early and drove over to where Ellie worked. Her normal quitting time was five and when five-thirty came around and she still hadn't come out of the building I went inside to find her. She wasn't there and I was told she had left work early. I drove over to Sonia's and there was nobody there and that did it for me. I called Ellie's cell phone and got no answer so I left a message on her voice mail and told her if she didn't call and talk to me or come home by nine that night she wouldn't have a home to come home to. Then I went home to wait.

Nine o'clock came and went with no Ellie and no phone call so I grabbed a couple of suitcases and boxes and started packing. By eleven I had everything out of the apartment that I wanted. I tossed my wedding ring onto the middle of the kitchen table, locked up the place and left. Drastic? Maybe, but the whole situation stunk to high heaven. There was something rotten in Denmark when she could move in with the women she caught me doing the nasty with, but would not even talk to me and I was not - was not! - going to let myself be played for a fool. I turned my cell phone off, checked into a motel and went to bed.