Chapter 2

It was past 6:30 and the office was almost empty when Mark walked back into my office. He stopped to speak to Paula and she just nodded and waved him in. He came in and sat down in front of my desk. He watched me for a second before speaking.

"Billy and I have been together three times. The first time was two years ago when you took the trip to Puerto Rico. You had been gone for almost three weeks when it happened. She was lonely and we had dinner just as friends. We shared a bottle of wine and things got out of hand. We ended up in bed. It happened and we both regretted it. I didn't stay and left immediately afterward. We hardly spoke to each other for the next month or so. I don't think you noticed."

He watched my face for my reaction but I gave him no satisfaction. I simply looked back and waited.

"The second time was a year later when you went to Europe for that conference. You left and Billy was angry with you for some reason. We got together and went out to a party with some friends of mine. Billy got drunk and I took advantage of her. She was furious with me for weeks afterwards but she finally forgave me. I was at fault, but she never told you.

"The last time was the night you found us. Billy and I had been talking and she was feeling bad about something you said to her. She didn't tell me what it was and I didn't really care. I just knew she needed me and I was more than willing. You know how I feel about her. I can't help it. I am so damned sorry for what you saw. We never heard you come in and you saw everything. We never expected you to be home that night and we let it get out of hand again just like before. I never thought about how it would hurt you. Now I know and it's killing me."

So now I knew. They had been doing this for almost three years and Billy never told me. She never let me know that there was a problem and she let it happen again. Three times! Being drunk or tipsy was no excuse. She and Mark were both to blame. I still had no idea what I was going to do. I was angry but it was important not to let Mark know.

"Thank you for telling me. Apparently you had no problem doing it again after the first time even though you 'regretted it so', I believe you said. You and my wife seemed to have no problem looking me in the face knowing what you had done behind my back. You had no problem taking advantage of her when she was, as you say, drunk. And you had no problem trying to fuck her because she was angry with me. Do I have all of that right?"

Mark had blanched at my direct accusations. He was now afraid for the first time. He had worked with me long enough to know when I was furious. He had seen my temper in action. I watched as he put his hands on the arms of the chair ready to bolt.

"Stu, I'm so damned sorry. Please believe me when I tell you this will never happen again. And I'll do my job as well as I can and live up to the expectations you have of me. I won't ever let you down again. In anything! You have my word on that. Please, forgive Billy. She wasn't the one to blame. I am. Blame me."

I watched this man who I had known for the past ten years, some good and some bad. We had been together for some great events and I would have trusted him with my life. Now, all I wanted was to smash his face in. I hated this man and vowed to myself that his life from now on would not be pleasant.

However, he was only partly to blame. It took two and Billy was a willing participant. I had seen Billy drunk and she was as much in control drunk as most people were sober. She did nothing she didn't want to do. The drinking was only an excuse. No, I had seen her expression and heard her words that day. Billy was willing!

"Just leave my office Mark. Apparently you don't have any problem screwing my wife and you apparently didn't understand me when I told you to stay away from Billy. Seems you had to call her at least seven times while I was gone. Was it not clear what I said? Don't you understand a threat when you hear one? Apparently I didn't mention phone calls. Well, now I have. Is that clear enough? Oh, and one last thing: do your fucking job and keep your fucking mouth shut, about the job, my move, and my wife! Is that clear enough? If I hear of one comment that you made or hear any rumors with your name attached, I'll fire you so fast it will make your head swim. Then I'll find your sorry ass and make you sorry you ever knew me."

He nodded, rose and left. I was simply drained. I just sat there until Paula stuck her head in the door to say goodnight. I smiled at her, gave her a thumbs up and watched her leave for the day. And what a day it had been. Well, now for the night. I really hesitated about going home but I knew that I had to do it. With a heavy heart I packed up my things and left.

The drive home was stressful. I had no idea what to do. I didn't want an argument but I also didn't want this to linger and fester in both our minds. I had to deal with things one way or another. I tried to come up with something concrete but as I pulled into our drive, I had nothing. I dropped the garage door and went to face my wife.

As I opened the door, I was hit with the smell of something wonderful cooking. I couldn't miss the smell of pot roast with potatoes and carrots and gravy. It was my favorite dinner of course and I was starving. I had just had a cardboard sandwich and a bag of nuts for lunch. I should have expected that Billy would try something like this. Last night it was the clothes and tonight my favorite meal. I recognized what she was doing and it did lighten my heart some. But the pain remained.

She was in the kitchen as I entered, wearing an apron and a silly cap. She often did this when she was in a playful mood. I guess this was her way of trying to soften me up. Well the food might do it but it would change nothing. I looked at her as I put my briefcase away and removed my suit jacket. I hung it up in the hallway as usual and went past her to grab a cool beer from the fridge. She watched me carefully but didn't try to engage me in a conversation. I did move over to the stove to smell the pot roast and that gave her some consolation. At least I was interested in the food she was preparing.

I stayed in the den until she called me for dinner. Dinner was a strained affair with only routine talk. Talk about the bills, or the scheduled repairs, things like that. Nothing serious. She did mention that my dad had called and seemed to want to talk, but she told him she was very busy and maybe he could call later. She asked me if I knew what he wanted and I told her no. I ate a good meal and enjoyed the effort she put into it. I had my fill and complimented her on everything. She smiled in appreciation and began to clear the table.

Afterward, I went into the family room with my coffee. I often helped her with the dishes since she preferred to hand wash them rather than use the dishwasher. I usually dried but tonight I didn't offer and she didn't ask. I sat there in silence not even turning on the TV and again tried to come up with some course of action. I still had no clue what to do.

"Why aren't you watching the news? Do you want me to turn it on for you? I haven't listened to it all day so I may have missed something important."

Billy took the remote and turned it on but kept the volume down. She seemed nervous and fidgety which was probably understandable. She finally sat down on the couch and put her knees together and clasped her arms around them, hugging herself. Defensive. She watched me with careful eyes and waited to see if I was going to start a conversation. When I didn't she decided to.

"Did you talk with Mark today? At work? Was it hard to do or did you just avoid him?"

I looked at her and decided that I would let her do most of the talking. I would answer and encourage her to talk just to see if she was ready to be honest with me.

"Yes, I talked to him. I promoted him to Division Head, reporting directly to me. He'll have full control of day to day operations and will be doing essentially what Hugh and I are doing now. And no, it wasn't hard, it was business."

"You promoted him? I don't understand. Why would you promote him now after what we... Doing your job? If he's doing your job what does that mean for you? Stuart, what did you do?"

I didn't answer, thinking of how to tell her about the promotion. I was about to say more when she began again.

"You didn't do anything foolish did you? You love your job! Oh, Stu please tell me you didn't quit!"

"I didn't quit. I'll tell you later what that was about. But that's not what you wanted to know is it?"

"Did you talk about us? About him and me? Did he tell you anything?"

"I didn't ask him but yes, he spoke about you and him. I guess he had to brag to me. But you probably know exactly what he told me since the two of you spoke at least seven times while I was gone. You really need to learn how to erase the phone caller log Billy. It makes lying to me a lot easier."

"We didn't talk! I answered but hung up as soon as I knew it was him. I kept hoping it was you on the phone. I swear to you I never talked to him again after that night."

"Really? Well suppose you tell me how long this affair with Mark has been going on. You told me the other night that this was the first time. Mark doesn't agree. So why don't you tell me about it. Tell me the truth."

I saw her eyes go wide so I did believe that she and Mark hadn't talked. Maybe she wasn't as smart as I thought she was. But then most cheaters aren't smart, just dishonest. They know how to lie but not how to tell the truth. Maybe she and Mark hadn't gotten together to get their lies straight. That would have been the smart thing to do.

"Do you really need to know? Isn't it enough that it's over and I never want to see him again? Can't we just leave it at that?"

"Afraid to tell me the truth? I was hoping that you could start being honest with me so I could try to find some way to learn to trust you again but it looks like that isn't going to happen. I guess lying has become a way of life to you with your affair. Maybe this isn't the first or the only affair."

"No Stuart, you can't believe that! You can't! There was no 'affair' with Mark and there haven't been any other affairs either. None! There hasn't been anyone other than Mark! I'll tell you the truth. I'm just so ashamed to tell you but I will. I have to."

She was twisting her hands together, as sure sign she was nervous. She always did that when she was nervous or afraid. I just waited, watching her.

"Mark and I have been with each other three times if you count last Tuesday. That's all. Just those two, no, three times. I was drinking the first two times but that wasn't the reason. I was lonely for you and I was missing you and Mark was just being a friend and having dinner with me. But, we just let things go too far and afterwards, we were both angry at ourselves and I always felt guilty. I was sick to my stomach both times. I don't know about Mark since he never stayed afterwards. I think that was why it was over a year between the first two times. This time was almost a year too, I think."

Well I have to admit I was surprised. She had told me the truth, matching the story Mark told me. I guess I believed it because she had more detail about before and after and didn't blame the drinking like Mark did. I couldn't be sure they hadn't cooked up this tale but I did believe her. It was still three times too many but it was out in the open now.

"Last Tuesday was just me being mad at you for your comments about my meetings. I know you wanted me to go with you on your next trip but I had plans and you seemed to think my plans weren't important enough that I couldn't just break them. We argued and fought and you just walked away from me. I was angry and Mark came over to talk to you about something and I had the message from Paula saying you wouldn't be home till late and I just snapped. Dumb excuse but it's the only one I have."

"That's what I thought might be the reason. But if that's all it takes for you to cheat on me we really don't have much of a marriage. And you admit that you fucked Mark twice before this, both times when you were mad at me or just lonely. It seems that you don't need much of an excuse to jump in the sack with good old Mark. And he admits that he wouldn't turn you away if you were willing. So, it might be best to just let our marriage die a natural death, don't you think?"

Billy's reaction was swift and to the point. She got up, came over to me and knelt down in front of me. She took my hands in hers and looked directly at me.

"I will do anything that I can to save this marriage. I was foolish and stupid and that's what cost me my first marriage. I beg you: don't let it ruin this one too. Give me another chance. I did something that I am ashamed of but I don't want to lose you over this. Please, Stuart, don't talk like that. I love you more than I can tell you. You have to forgive me and give me another chance. I promise you, you won't regret it."

As she was pleading her case, it came to me like an epiphany! We had been married just over four years and it only took her two years before she cheated on me! In those next two years, she cheated on me two more times! That was ridiculous! This was almost more than I could take. I felt woozy and I began to sweat.

"You've cheated on me three times in the short time we've been married! You only wait two years before you start and then you do it two more times? What the hell kind of marriage is that? This isn't a marriage to you. It's simply an arrangement that allows you to fuck around on me when things don't go your way and then you come back home to all the goodies you wanted. Like that fucking car you never drive, the fucking clothes you never wear and the jewelry you just had to have. But then, if your lovers come here to see you, none of that matters."