Chapter 4: Love, Romance and Marriage

My relationship to Andrea never would have developed as it did, if it were not for her ex-boyfriends. For the most part, they had been "grade A", "number one" assholes. I was just what she at that time in her life was looking for.

Around campus, she wasn't known as a slut but she wasn't exactly virginal either. Her being a friend of one of my "good friends" and having had a few longer counseling sessions before with me about her boyfriend problems, I knew that she wasn't exactly the type that I would be hitting on.

Not that I actually had a type that I would be hitting on. It's not as if I had much choice in the matter. What is a 5'3", 110 lbs (soaking wet) wispy wippy guy going to have as a type? He'll be lucky at getting any. Not that I had ever gotten any. I was a 21year old virgin who had yet to even get a handjob out of a date.

Andrea wasn't a sex bomb, but she definitely wasn't a gray mouse either. She had a pretty face, brownish blonde hair. She stood about an inch taller than me. Carried about a B or C cup, and had pretty much of an hourglass figure on her. Her hips were fairly wide and her waist was very small. She didn't belong to the popular campus crowd, but she wasn't completely unknown by them either.

What held me back from flirting with her, when she started hitting on me, was that I knew more about her sex life, than any of the other men around campus, and more than what she thought I knew.

Andrea, I knew, had a fairly high libido. She liked sex a lot. She was also fairly impulsive sexually, and had been involved in a couple of three-ways at a couple of parties, and also in a couple of zippless fucks. Not a real slut, but definitely not a virgin.

Also the main reason I was skeptical about having anything to do with her was that she had a strong emotional dependency and attraction to alpha-male types. She had twice that I knew of, dumped steady boyfriends for other men that were stronger, more powerful and assertive types.

For me, sex had always been an expression of emotion with and towards another person. Sex and relationships were not to be taken lightly.

I did worry about Andrea's higher libido. For me, even though DIY handjobs were still a part of my sex life, I didn't know if I was capable of keeping up with her.

It just was that a relationship with her, for a guy like me, was just "a kick in the balls, waiting to happen". I wasn't going to go there. Been there, done that, and the t-shirt didn't fit.

So for the next few weeks we played cat and mouse. She was always seeking me out, trying to flirt with me and I was always avoiding her, but remaining friendly and cordial to her when we did meet.

Then one day after our last class, she cornered me, "Why are you avoiding me? Do I have BO or something?"

So being brutally honest I told her, "Listen, I know you're trying to start something up with me. But I don't know where you want this to go. And I don't know if I want to go there." She was taken back, but I continued on, "You're a very beautiful hot chick, and I am extremely attracted to you. I think you're sexy as hell. But I'm me, and I know my value. So let's just let it be... and stay friends." With that I just turned, and walked away from her.

That should have been enough, but it wasn't. Before I knew it, she was walking beside me, "You know you've disappointed me. I expected more from you. You're just like them. I seriously thought, at least you, would be different and understand me."

I had to stop at that and stare at her, "Who are them, and how I am just like they?"

Her eyes rolled for a moment into the back of her head as she let out a long sigh, "You, them, men, your all the same. I really, really seriously thought, you were different. You all look at us, and see just tits and asses."

Now she was getting to me, "Oh, so now I'm one of your cavemen? Well, gee thanks for the compliment. Maybe I should get a sign made up to wear around my neck, that says that? How about a t-shirt with giant letters across the front... Caveman? Don't think anyone would believe it, but we could try. Maybe it's you that doesn't get it..."

I tried. I seriously tried to avoid any deepening of our friendship, towards a relationship. But, our conversation went on and on. We talked. We debated. We argued. It went on while we were walking through campus. It went on at the coffee shop on the way back to our dorms. It went on that evening when we went out together for a pizza. It continued on that whole weekend, until late Sunday night, when she kissed me goodnight, at the door to my dorm.

By that time, I sure did feel like I was loosing ground. Every argument that I thought why the two of us didn't fit together, she thought was an argument why we did fit together.

But, that's how she always was, and a part of why I learned to love her.

I guess what finally caused me to give in, was my thoughts that if "it" did happen; it wasn't going to be as if I wouldn't notice that it was coming. I do have a very strong intuitive talent at reading people's emotions. So, if she started to emotionally move away from me, became unhappy with me, I would notice it, even before she herself did.

The other thing was, I had a lot of "good friends". Friends that knew everything that went on around campus. So, I had more than sufficient direct links, into the campus grapevine. Not much happened, to anyone on campus, without me hearing about it.

In the end, I just decided that our relationship was going to be an adventure, that was just going to happen, and I might as well enjoy the ride, for as long as it was lasted.

I gave us three months; I figured that would be the longest our relationship could last.

Strangely, I was proven wrong. It was that first conversation that set off the ground rules, for our behavior towards each other. No matter what the issue was, we talked, and talked some more. Nothing seemed to be off limits in our talks. Nothing was too trivial, or too secret. Our talks pushed us deeper, and deeper into intimacy, and dependency towards each other.

When my three-month deadline finally hit, we were at a point, where we needed to see each other daily, sometimes even hourly. Mornings I would either wake up to my telephone ringing in my ear, or it was the first thing I reached for after getting up. At noon, in the cafeteria, we unconsciously gravitated to sitting together. Evenings and weekends found us again, no matter what we had to do, doing it as a couple.

My three-month deadline found us also as a known couple on campus. People spoke of us as Andrea's boyfriend, or as Conner's girlfriend and it was known by all that our relationship wasn't just one of those relationships. It was something very serious. People spoke about us always in the plural tense. Friends started up conversations with me, exactly where they had left them off, when talking to Andrea. It was obvious that even after such a short time, our friends could no longer see us as separate entities.

The depth of Andrea and my conversations also set the field for us when we went sexual. Even from the beginning there was no hesitation. As divers as we were with our talks, so divers were we in bed. Our intimacy was, just as in our conversations, completely open, and naturally, secrets had no place.

My fears that I would be insufficient proved to be absolutely wrong. Though size can make a difference, I found that I was in that aspect right in the middle. But as they say, "Size doesn't matter, it's the motion of the ocean that counts." "It's the journey not the destination that matters", and our journeys were sensuous, amorous, and very satisfying for both of us; it didn't matter if it was slow sensuous lovemaking, or hot monkey sex.

What finally broke down my last barrier of doubt, happened one Saturday evening, after about six months into our relationship.

We were at one of those parties. Not one of those parties we had with friends, but a larger social party, that type of a party. It was hosted at a house of one of the women's sororities and had a room for the smorgasbord with various small foods, wines and other drinks, a large room for dancing, and smaller rooms for just standing around and talking. It was an invitation only party. Dress was not formal, but it also was not casual. Invited were mainly students in their junior and senior years, but also professors, teachers and even a few non-academia from the town proper.

Many couples, even married couples, had been invited, but the rule of behavior was "mingle". So mingle we did, sometimes together, sometimes individually. We chatted in various groups. We danced together, but I also danced with others, and so did Andrea. Nothing special, we were just mingling.

The first that I noticed that something was wrong was the somewhat unusual attention that I was getting from one of the jocks from our football team. I knew about him. He wasn't anything big on the team. But he was a jock. He was an alpha-male type guy.

The attention wasn't that he was following me around, or trying to get into conversations with me, it was more as if when he saw me, he was sizing me up. His whole behavior towards me was a bit standoffish, and snobbish. It was irritating me. I did know how to place it, but why here and why now?