Chapter 5

Sharon flew in the following Wednesday.

"Hello, Mr H! Doin' alright are you? Ooh, I've 'ad me problems this week. The bloke next door's been playing 'is music ever so loud and 'e doesn't turn it off 'till two or three in the morning. I 'ad a word with 'im Friday an' he told me to get stuffed. I told 'im that I'd tell the council. He told me to get stuffed again so I did. Nah! Not get stuffed but I went an' saw Mr Gardner, the local 'Ousing Manager an' 'e said they'd send round an Environmental 'Ealth Officer an' 'e'd record the noise an' if it was too loud 'e'd serve a notice on my neighbour. So I said serving a notice wouldn't do no bloody good. They'd 'ave to take 'is bloody machine away. 'E said they could do that too. So, I said "Good on yer! Go for it." So, we'll see what 'appens. Either way they'll probably sort the bugger out."

"Well, that's good, Sharon. I'd hate to be mixed up with you in a neighbourhood dispute. Any sort of dispute, for that matter!"

"Dead right!" she replied. "I don't like people messing with me. Now, 'ave you sorted out you an' me 'avin' sex?"

"Yes, Sharon! I have. You're on."

"Great! Right then, Mr H, I'll get on with the cleaning. You go and do your thing and I'll let you know when I'm finished."

"OK, Sharon!"

Richard was appalled. It was like Sharon was looking on things as part of her job, an extension of her cleaning: a duty that possibly she owed to Rachel. He had to do something about it but wasn't at all sure what. Sharon was so bossy!

He quietly got on with some work, made and drank a cup of coffee on his own mid-morning and got no further with deciding how to handle Sharon.

At midday Sharon actually knocked on his study door before announcing: "I'm done, Mr H. Time for a bit of sex!"

Richard rose resignedly to his feet.

"OK, Sharon."

"Come on then," she said. "Upstairs! We're not 'avin it on the bloody carpet."

Richard cringed but dutifully followed her to his bedroom. Once there, she kicked off her shoes and stripped off her jeans, lying back on the bed with her legs apart.

Richard snapped.

"I am not having mechanical sex with you as though you were nothing more than a prostitute," he shouted.

"I'm not a prostitute. I'm doin' it for free."

"Alright, but it's still mechanical. You pull down your jeans and just wait for me to fuck you. Can't you bring a little romance into it? Don't you want something more than just an animal fuck? What did your husband do before he started to make love to you?"

"If it was during the day 'e'd just say; "Get yer knickers off. I'm goin' to 'ave yer" an' if it was at night 'e'd just push me nightie up an' take me.

"Oh Sharon, I'd never realised. You haven't lived. You've just had sex. No-one has ever made love to you."