Chapter 15: Reconciliation

It was Monday afternoon and classes had been postponed indefinitely due to an influenza epidemic that had affected a majority of the students, professors, staff and townspeople of Pontiac. I had been deathly ill since the previous Thursday night but after three days and nights in bed I was feeling much better.

We convinced Mr. Oldham and Suzanne it was safe for them to leave. After Shirley saw them off she returned to the front room where I was lounging on the couch. Her eyes were still damp as a result of hearing Mr. Oldham tell me that he and Suzanne loved me. My eyes were moist too. It wasn't every day that I heard my adoptive father say that he loved me and that I should call him John.

"Do you feel well enough to talk, Sammy?"

Shirley had cared for me the last three nights, but I had been out of it that first night and then Mr. Oldham and Suzanne arrived. It occurred to me that this was the first time we had been alone together in six weeks. She took a seat on my footlocker and watched as I considered if I was up to talking.

"Why don't you start and I'll listen."

Her steady gaze told me she was trying to decide how to take my remark. "This is going to be a two-way conversation or we don't talk."

"You're the one with the most explaining to do. You talk and I'll listen," I shot back.

She picked up her jacket and headed for the door. "You must be feeling better. You certainly don't need me here."

"Shirley?" I called out and she turned, looking back, frowning.

"Take the car. I won't need it for a few days."

My offer stunned her, but only momentarily. She nodded before opening the door and closing it behind her.

I sat on the couch, wondering what just happened.

All I could do was sit there and think. Although the duration of our little argument had been short, words had been said in anger. We had just had our first fight and from the way she left, it would be our final fight.

She was clearly in the wrong by not trusting me enough to tell me about Darien's letters and then to react to my taking action by moving out of the apartment before allowing me to explain why I had made the trip to retrieve the tapes.

There was also the matter of how she had acted at the musical and the party. I knew it was acting, but she had no right to make her attraction to the geek so believable. Did she know how miserable it made me feel to see her hanging all over the guy? I'm sure she did. After all, she knows every little nuance of my being.

I resented the fact that she had her dorm room to escape to, thus being the one to decide when our little spat would end. I had no other place to go and had she chosen to prolong the words between us I would have had no other alternative but to let her dictate how long we would fight. I resented the fact that she had the upper hand.

I dialed Luke Foster's number to tell him why I hadn't shown up for work on Saturday. There was no answer in the shop. I considered trying the house but decided it was a bad idea. What if the whole family was sick?

Feeling lonely and wanting to talk to someone, I called Kent's apartment. Amy answered the phone, saying everyone else was in bed. "How do you feel?" I asked.

"I'm fine, so far."

"That's good. I hope you don't get it. Shirley escaped it too."

"We were glad to see her there with you, Sammy. I'm sure you're happy to have her back."

"She's not exactly..."

"Sammy, Laura's calling for me. I've got to go."

"Take care, Amy, I hope..." I said before hearing the dial tone.

I was dialing Olli's number when the door opened and Shirley stepped inside, smiling meekly. I returned the receiver to its cradle and watched her close the door behind her.

"The school is under quarantine. The guards wouldn't let me go inside the dorm."

Ah, good! Now we're on even ground. Neither one of us has anywhere else to go. She no longer has the option to decide when the last round is over and by the same token, I don't control the clock.

Shirley took a seat on my footlocker and spoke calmly. "I'm taking a business management course this year. One of the first things we learned is that defining the problem is a first step to solving it. Let's define the problem, shall we?"

I was so happy to have her there with me, sitting on my footlocker and speaking calmly, that I didn't dare tell her everything that was on my mind, her distrust, her swift exodus and the way she flaunted her new friend. "You start," I suggested.

As she began defining our differences I realized we were on neutral ground after all. Both of us had both confided in Tammy and she had been our go-between.

"You were justified in blaming me for not telling you about Darien's letters. The reason I didn't tell you was because I was horrified at what you would think of me when you heard the tapes. I know you so well, Sammy. I knew exactly what you would do and I was right. As soon as Tammy showed you his letter you put yourself in danger without discussing it with me. You deserved better from me. I know I should have shown more trust in you. I guess I wanted to protect you from yourself."

Shirley was crying for the second time that day. I had never seen her cry before and didn't like what I was seeing.

"Have you defined the problem?" I asked, wanting to redirect her attention.

She wiped her eyes and smiled through tears. "The problem as I see it is that I'm not good enough for you and you don't know it. I did things to alienate you toward me but you're just too damn stupid to get it. I thought you would forget me and move on but apparently, you didn't let what was on the tapes alter your feelings toward me. Every time I did something mean and spiteful, you did something nice for me. I don't deserve you, Sammy Oldham."

"Please stop crying, Shirley. It's not like you to... I don't like seeing you this way."

She tried to compose herself. I decided she needed some reassurance.

"You certainly do deserve me. If anything I don't deserve you."

"I just told you why I tried to make you believe I was with Ralph but you're too... oh, Sammy, I'm sorry I said you were stupid. I didn't mean it. I thought I had you convinced, but then I heard you turned Maggie down."

"You heard about that?" I asked, hardly believing what she had just said.

"She told everyone she was going to have sex with you that night and after I saw you leave the party early I cried myself to sleep, thinking of you together with her. Then it got around that you turned her down."

Shirley dabbed her eyes again and looked away, like she couldn't stand to look at me.

She brightened when she recalled the notes I had made on Luke Foster's family. I let her believe I had taken the job in order to gain Luke's confidence in me so I could answer her research questions.

We must have spent three hours between talking, crying, smiling and just looking at each other. I never did get a chance to tell her how disappointed I had been when she didn't trust me enough to tell me about the letters from Darien. Nor did she mention the things I had done to try to provoke her.

She told me what a joy it had been to find the photo albums I had started for K.O. and Samantha. I told her about the feeling that came over me when I found the line from The Sick Child in the library reference book. We had an early supper and went to sleep. Shirley used the couch.

The following day, Tuesday, I was able to open a book and study for quarter-finals although we didn't know when they would begin. Shirley didn't have her books with her so she occupied her time by working on the computer and interrupting me every thirty minutes to ask if I needed help with any of my subjects. I didn't but I let her help me anyway. She would brush up against me as she explained a theory or principle.

That afternoon, about three P.M., there was a knock on the door and Shirley went to answer it. I heard her talking to someone and crept to the bedroom door to hear the conversation.

"Ralph, how did you know I was here?"

"I didn't know you were here. Did you avoid getting the flu? You look great, Shirley."

I heard her giggle. "My boyfriend had a rough time, but I didn't get it."

"I'm taking a survey for the school. Is your boyfriend... is everyone who resides here well enough to attend class tomorrow?"

"Let me check. Please come inside, Ralph," Shirley said before coming to the bedroom door. "Sweetheart, are you going to be able to attend class tomorrow?"

She reached for my hand and urged me to go with her. Ralph was standing in the front room and when we got near him Shirley introduced us. "Ralph, this is Sammy Oldham, my boyfriend. He may look green around the gills, but I'll make sure he feels fit and ready for class tomorrow," she said as she pulled me to her. This was our closest contact in weeks. I put my arm around her to show Ralph I could hold on to my woman.

He shuffled his feet, nervously. "I didn't know you... I mean... I thought... are you the only residents here?"

"Charlie Evans lives here, but Shirley sent him over to the dorm so he wouldn't catch what I had. We hear he got it anyway. We don't know if they're feeling better, but we'll check," I said, looking at Shirley.

"They?" Ralph asked.

Shirley spoke up. "Charlie's staying in my room with my roommate. I'm sure that's what Sammy meant. His head is still a little cloudy, isn't it dear?"

I laughed and pulled her ass next to mine. "That's what I meant."

We were smiling at each other, adoringly, when Ralph spoke. "Classes will probably resume tomorrow, if eighty percent of the student body is able to attend. First quarter finals will begin on Thursday and run through Saturday. Anyone who misses taking a test will be allowed to make it up after Thanksgiving."

We looked at each other and I could see the wheels turning in Shirley's head. By the time Ralph was out the door we were on the same page although she said it out loud just in case my head was too cloudy to keep up with her thinking. "Friday night pizza party will be moved to Saturday and we'll leave for home early Sunday morning."

"I'll call Kent. You can talk to Tammy," I suggested. By the end of the day we had spoken to everyone we knew. Some were still feeling shaky on their feet but one more night's rest would make them ready for classes the next day. Everyone was anxious to go on Thanksgiving break, even if we had to take tests on Saturday.

Shirley waited until after dinner to call Suzanne and let her know about the new schedule. I listened to Shirley's side of the conversation. "That's too bad. I'm sorry you had a rough... yes, it must have been the weather. Oh yes, that was very nice of Mr. Oldham... yes, Sammy got choked up... yes, we were both... he is... yes, I will, thank you for the suggestion, Suzanne... wonderful, we'll see you about four on Sunday, you too, goodbye."

I didn't ask what Suzanne had been talking about, preferring to use my imagination as to what she had said.

Other than having my arm around her when Ralph was in the apartment, we didn't touch and when we went to bed; Shirley headed for the couch. I didn't offer to share my bed, feeling that we both needed time. It was almost like the year before when we worked up to sharing the same bed for months before having sex.

We got up early so she could go by her dorm room and dress for school, but I didn't go to breakfast with her and the group. Just because she had called me her boyfriend in front of Ralph didn't mean we were back together.

Almost everyone came back to class that day. Talk was mainly about how sick we had been. Maggot made a remark about being so sick he didn't want to eat an Apple and some said they had been so sick they wanted to die.

Review was the order of the day. Some of my professors practically gave us a blueprint as to what to expect on the exam. I guess they felt lenient because most of us had missed thee days of classes.

I got a surprise when Shirley joined us for lunch and I could tell Kent and Amy were surprised to see her there too.

"I just wanted to make sure you're not going to workout this afternoon. You're not up to it yet. Is that all you're going to have to eat?"

I looked at Kent and grimaced. "Nurse Pennington wants me to get my strength back."

Shirley placed her hand on my forehead, dramatically. "My patient needs his strength to do his best on finals."

She waited until Kent and Amy left before revealing why she had joined us for lunch. "Since you won't be working out you can help me with some of my stuff."

"Does that mean you're moving back to the apartment?"

"Do you want me?"

"Yes, I want you but it bothers me that you said only some of your stuff."

She smiled; looking relieved by my answer and placed her hand on my arm. "Would it bother you less if I said we'll move everything else when we come back from Thanksgiving break?"

Our eyes met as I nodded my agreement.

Charlie helped us move most of Shirley's things from her dorm room to the apartment. She made dinner for us and we studied for the tests we were taking the following day.

We never did find out what had taken place in the dorm room, but we took notice when Charlie called Tammy before we retired for the night. He did a double take when he saw that Shirley was going to sleep on the couch, He was way above remarking about it.

I had two exams on Thursday, two on Friday and one on Saturday morning. Shirley had about the same schedule and we could have left at midday if it hadn't been for our commitment to have the pizza party at the apartment.

It was a blustery day as we packed the car and I wished we could get on the road to avoid the messy weather that was sure to come. After a light lunch I could tell what she was thinking when Shirley looked at me. "Go ahead, I'll clean up the kitchen," I said.

She dashed out the door, waving as she headed for the dress shop.

I was loading the dishwasher and thinking about the difficulties a few bad thoughts and misunderstandings had caused when she burst through the door and headed toward me. I barely had time to pucker up before her lips met mine with a Shirley-special. I didn't get a chance to get my arms around her before she was backing away. "That should hold us until tonight," she said as she went out the door for the second time.

The serious look, a promise, in her gray eyes was all that kept me from catching up with her and returning the kiss. I went to the landing and yelled down to her, "Tonight?"

She turned at the bottom of the stairs and looked up at me. "Tonight and every night as long as you'll have me."

All I could do was gaze down as she backed away, smiled and entered the dress shop. I went to work at the cabinet shop just to have something to do.

It was a good thing Luke kept me away from the band-saw that afternoon because my head was in the clouds. He was getting over a bout with the flu as well, so we were both a bit unsteady on our feet. We worked together installing glued cabinet parts into fixtures to cure. Without the noise of machinery running we were able to talk.

"Is making custom cabinets your main business, Luke?"

"It's about fifty-fifty. Why do you ask?"