Chapter 34: Nocturne

Richard was grinning ear to ear as he stood next to Sandra and Emily in the green room.

The audience had been larger than any of them had expected, and so was the crowd that lined up to greet them. Many Wexford students had come, including the violinist Jeff, for whom Sandra would be conducting in the fall. As promised, beside him was a mischievous looking friend who asked her to conduct for his recital as well. Sandra politely declined, eliciting a victorious fist from Jeff. Richard grinned as he saw her flush at the compliment.

In addition, a number of people from the community had come out for the program. An older gentleman, who reminded Richard of William, started dissecting the Serenade performance as the line grew longer behind him. A middle aged couple named Bob and Betty were particularly ebullient with praise, having attended the concert by chance. There was even a young girl of perhaps eight, clearly excited to be awake past her bedtime. Her parents had brought her to meet the performers. She reminded Richard of himself when he was a youth.

He smiled warmly as he crouched down before her. "Did you like the music?"

The girl nodded shyly.

"Are you going to be a pianist one day?" he asked.

"Oh ... No. I liked the singing much better," she said, pointing to Sandra.

Richard laughed, and patted her head. "I think I'm going to do my next recital alone," he said to the slightly embarrassed but grinning parents.

There were some surprise guests, as well. Richard had been especially pleased to see Viktoriya and Harvey again. He had not expected her to attend, and when he spotted her in the audience during the Etudes, he felt a tingle.

He kept catching her eye as she approached down the greeting line. After a friendly and enthusiastic hug, he had introduced her to Sandra and Emily, whose eyes brightened at meeting her.

She and Harvey hurried off to set things up for the party. Lingering to talk with each audience member would have meant two hours of chatting, so they kept the line moving with promises of catching up at Irina's.

At last, the crowd of people that had lined up to congratulate the trio was reaching an end. Their parents remained, and they split up to congratulate their respective children.

Angelina and Vittorio each kissed both his cheeks, before Vittorio took Richard into a hug.

"You are incredible, my son," he said in emotional Italian. "Thank you..."

Richard squeezed him tight. "No, thank you. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be here."

Vittorio pulled away and looked at him, his eyes wet. "An unforgettable night..."

Emily was hugging her father, as Audrey and her horn teacher looked on with smiles. Sandra was talking excitedly with her parents and Kyle.

Richard sighed as he looked around. The Wexford students and general audience had left. Arlene and William were talking to Suzanne, and Allison was talking with Jarrett and Dave, who had delivered both congratulations and the concert tape to Richard. All around, those dear to them were together. They were brought closer by the music that the trio had played.

The feeling was exhilarating...

The night at Irina's began with wine and finger foods that Harvey had made. As expected, the food was exotic and excellent.

Initially, everyone stood around the living room, discussing the recital, or the artwork on the walls, or meeting those in the room they didn't know yet. Richard was glad to see his parents conversing amiably with Sandra's parents, despite Vittorio's thick accent. Harvey and Viktoriya were busy making sure everyone was comfortable, fed, and had the beverage of their choice.

Richard grinned as William accosted Irina almost immediately. He could tell by Irina's smile that William was pouring on his charms.

Somewhat soon, the party began to splinter, as Harvey took a few people to his art studio, while some others went out to the large patio to enjoy the comfortable evening air.

Richard approached Arlene and William as Irina excused herself to help with drinks. They settled into a corner of the large living room.

"She's amazing," William said, watching Irina as she went to the kitchen.

Richard smiled. "Star struck," he said to Arlene, who laughed.

"She's going to give me a signed picture," William said confidentially.

Richard raised a brow. "Don't you move fast!"

William laughed. "Well..."

"Sometimes he does," Arlene said exaggeratedly.

"Hey, have you heard anything from Wexford yet?" Richard asked her.

She smiled, and nodded. "Got the word this week. I'm coming for sure."

Richard took her hand, grinning broadly. "Oh, sweet! That's awesome."

"I'm being deserted, one lover at a time," William pouted.

Richard patted his shoulder. "Move out here, then."

He looked offended at the thought. "I don't like the two of you that much!"

Richard and Arlene laughed.

"So, how did we do tonight?" Richard asked them, his voice turning serious.

"You were brilliant, I thought," Arlene said. "But the girls blew you away..."

Richard started to frown, and then caught her playful look.

"I do believe she's already taken sides," William said with a laugh.

"Great," Richard drawled.

"I'll give you my critique later this week. No need to bring you back to earth right now," William said.

"That bad?" Richard said, turning to him.

William shrugged enigmatically.

"Just tell me now," Richard urged. "Honestly. If I sucked, I want to know."

"Oh, William's just giving you a hard time," Arlene said.

William pursed his lips. "I was really impressed, Richard."

Richard frowned at him after he didn't go on. "But?"

"But nothing. You've made some huge strides since you lived in New York. There are definitely some excellent things brewing inside here," he said, tapping Richard's chest.

Richard frowned at him. "I thought you were going to bring me back to earth!"

"Told you," Arlene said.

"Well, let's see..." William said, considering. "A few mistakes, here and there ... But honestly? I thought you did admirably. There were a few pieces that you weren't quite ready for, I think, but that doesn't mean you didn't play them well. I can hear where you're going, and it's good. Was it the best performance of the Etudes I've ever heard? No. But from what I did hear, someday you might just do that. From the point of view of where you are heading, the recital was amazing."

Richard nodded. "Thanks, William. That means something, coming from you."

He nodded back respectfully. "We'll talk more this week. I had some thoughts on some things you did, and they might help you see the pieces in a new light."

"Okay. We can get together in a practice room and rehash the recital. Arlene, I'd love it if you joined us. I want to hear what you have to say, too."

Arlene smiled. "Of course."

"Good. A piano orgy it is, then," William announced somewhat loudly.

"William, fuck... ! We can't take you anywhere," Richard said, looking around.

Arlene, who had turned slightly red at the comment, just smiled.

"Oh, don't be such prudes!" William said, standing. "I think I'm going to go find Irina."

"Going to try and mooch another picture from her?"

"No. She's the one pouring the wine," he said with a wink.

Allison took a deep breath. "This is really beautiful."

"I've never been here," Sandra explained. "Richard was right, though. It is a romantic spot."

The two of them had wandered off from the porch and eventually found themselves in Irina's garden. They sat together on a bench, looking at the night sky.

"It's so cool to see you again, after so long," Sandra said.

"I know. It's been seven months."

"How are things going for you?"

"Really well. I'm essentially done with the Ph.D. Just waiting for the paper that says it's official now."

"Congrats, Allison! Can we call you Dr. Campbell now?"

She gave Sandra a sidelong look. "Please no!"

Sandra laughed.

"I'm playing in an orchestra, too," Allison added.

Sandra turned to her. "Really? That's great!"

"I decided after the last time that I was here that I needed to play music again."

Sandra nodded. "Can't live without it..."

"Yeah. It's just a community orchestra, but it's fun."

"Of course ... But you say that like it's not good."

Allison shrugged. "I'm sure it's nothing like the orchestra you have at your school."

Sandra shook her head. "You're playing music. It doesn't matter how or where, really."

"I know. But sometimes I feel a little sad. I could have maybe been in something professional, if I had done things differently."

Sandra took a moment before speaking. "Do you regret your choice?"

Allison laughed. "I didn't choose, really. I think I told Richard: I went into biology based on a coin toss."

Sandra looked at her with raised brows. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. He thought it was crazy, too! But he also said that going into science was the only way to possibly do both."

"True."

"But I still feel ... Oh, I don't know how to say this without sounding proud or conceited."

"I know you're not that way. Just talk."

Allison sighed. "I guess I feel a little out of place. I really like some of the people in the orchestra. But I also feel like I could play in something better. Oh, that sounds terrible!"

"No," Sandra said softly. "I kind of know what you mean."

"You do?" Allison asked in surprise.

"Yeah. It's different than your situation, but ... Back where I grew up, I played fiddle with a folk band. I always thought it was fun. I love the guys in the band, and they helped me grow up. But when I came to Wexford, I felt a little embarrassed about it. I didn't bring my violin, not wanting to have to play it."

"Have you played with them recently?"

"Yeah. And even though I've learned a lot here, and the guys in the band can't read a lick of music, it was still really fun to go back and play with them."

Allison nodded. "I do like playing in the orchestra, even if the players aren't necessarily top notch."

"So then it shouldn't really matter."

"No, I guess you're right ... So you've gotten over your embarrassment, then?"

Sandra laughed. "Not so much. I still don't have my violin here. I guess I'm all talk and no action on this one!"

"Have Richard or Emily heard you play?"

"Emily has. She said she liked it."

"Why do you worry, then?"

Sandra shrugged. "I don't know."

"I know what you mean, but it is hard to explain."

"Exactly."

They shared a look, and then laughed.

"It's good to see you again, Sandra."

"How's your man?"

"Doing well." Allison smiled in a way that added meaning to her reply.

"What does that mean?"

"Well..."

"Wait, you didn't get into a three way relationship, did you?" Sandra suddenly asked. "Have we corrupted you?"

"No, no!" Allison dismissed, laughing freely. "But we did try, you know, doing something out of doors," she said quietly.

"Ah. So we did corrupt you!"

"Yes, I suppose so!"

"What happened?"

Allison laughed apologetically. "Oh, it was very tame. We went on a hike, and..." Allison waved her hands shyly.

Sandra grinned broadly. "You waved your hands? That sounds like ... fun."

Allison swatted her arm. "Don't make me say it... ! It was fun. Very tame, though. We were quite remote. It was more likely we'd be seen in our bedroom, than where we were. Still..."

"It's a start. Next thing you know, you'll be asking him to let your friend join you!"

Allison laughed. "No, I think not. I hinted at it, once, and he thought it was a bit odd."

"How did that come up?"

"I ... Well, I told him about meeting you three."

Sandra sniggered. "Word is spreading about us in Australia?"

"Heh. No, not quite. But anyway, he didn't take the hint."

"Hint... ? So you really would do it?"

Allison smiled, and looked away. "I don't know."

"You would. I can tell!"

"It is intriguing, even though it goes far beyond what I thought my boundaries were."

Sandra nodded. "I thought so too, once."

"Seeing the three of you changed my boundaries more than I thought," Allison said slowly. "But, it still takes me a long time to move towards them!"

"It's an ever changing thing, Allison."

"Do you ever think about that last night that I was here?"

Sandra nodded. "Sure."

"I do, too."

"Richard and Emily obviously inspired you to go on a hike, heh heh."

Allison laughed. "Yes..." She turned to Sandra. "But I also think about the other thing."

Sandra nodded thoughtfully. "You know, that changed things for me."

Allison frowned. "Why?"

"Until then, Emily and I hadn't really done anything with each other."

"I remember you saying that."

"But after that..." Sandra smiled.

Allison laughed slightly. "Don't blame me!"

"Oh, but we do!"

"So you told them about us kissing?"

Sandra nodded.

"Were they mad?"

"Not at all."

Allison looked relieved. "That's good. I always worried a little that maybe they'd be mad at me, if you told them."

"No ... And they wouldn't be mad now, either."

Allison looked at Sandra's eyes for a moment, considering the obvious.

I wish I could...

"I promised myself that if I ever did that again, it would be with my bloke's blessing," Allison said quietly.

Sandra looked at her carefully.

"As much as I'd like to," Allison continued, "I made a promise to myself."

"I completely understand."

"You do?"

"Yes. If you start doing things for selfish reasons, it will soon be over with you and him."

Allison nodded. "Yes, that's true."

Sandra pulled Allison into a hug.

"The three of us have worked through some tough moments in the last year," she said. "We've grown really strong, and yet also have discovered other people who we enjoy spending time with."

"How so?" Allison asked.

"Well, look at you and me, even. I suppose it was inevitable that eventually others would come into our circle in different ways. Once we realized there wasn't just one person for us, we realized that there might not just be two, either."

"I never thought of it that way."

"Still, it all comes back to the three of us. We are bonded together, Richard, Emily, and me. For now, no one has really fit in as an equal fourth. Not yet, at least."

"I don't know how you do it. I have enough trouble staying close to my man. It seems complicated."

"But it feels right."

Allison nodded. "Before our kiss, I would have laughed at that idea. But, it did feel right..."

"Suzanne and I have found something special together."

"I was wondering about that," Allison said. "You two look at each other like you do with Richard and Emily."

"She's amazing. She grows closer with Richard and Emily every day, too. But she's also moving away in a month."

"That's too bad."

"Yes. But I feel like one day we'll play music together again. I feel a musical connection with her more strongly than with anyone else."

"More than with Richard and Emily?"

Sandra considered. "It's different. With them, there's so much more involved. We've been through a lot, and it colors the way we play music. I mean, it's for the better, but it's also different. Music is just one part of the many things I share with them.

"But with Suzanne, it's the pure musical connection that came first. I didn't even know who she was the first time I worked with her. And yet, we connected instantly."

"I see what you are saying."

"Of course, that would change as we go on, too. It already has; tonight was more than just about the music, with her. But, it still stems from that first time we worked together."

Allison nodded. "What about Richard and Emily?"

Sandra smiled. "They have found some connections, too..."

"Does it feel strange?"

"Strange?"

"To have Suzanne, and these other people, I don't know ... On the side?"

Sandra considered. "I don't know that it's strange. But it is new. When I sang with Suzanne tonight, it was so amazing. It feels like we have ESP. I know exactly how she's going to play her part, like I was playing it myself. Emily calls it musical sex."

Allison laughed. "Is that what was happening up there?"

"Well, Emily is right, so yeah. And I play that way with Richard and her sometimes too, but there's also something different about it."

Sandra paused. "Even kissing her is different. So is kissing Richard, and Emily, and you, even. It's strange how such a simple act can be so different for everyone."

"How does Suzanne fit in, then?" Allison asked, after a moment.

Sandra chuckled. "You sound like the voice in my head, asking all these questions ... I don't know. I've been too busy with the recital to figure that out."

Allison nodded.

"I know how I feel with her," Sandra continued. "I don't know about Emily and Richard. They like her, I know that ... We've rehearsed with her, of course, but other than that, we haven't spent much time together."

"What if they don't feel a strong connection with her, like you?"

Sandra shrugged. "I don't know. The three of us have this idea that there is a pool of people who are your soul mates. Not necessarily just one other person."

"Hmm ... But most people who have found their significant other are faithful to them. Most of the world is set up in couples."

"Maybe they stop looking, once they are committed. Or at least vow to not look. That means monogamy. Or cheating, if they find another in the pool and can't resist."

"I can see that," Allison agreed. "When I got serious with my bloke, I stopped considering other men around me. They never seemed like options anymore. It was only when I met you three, that suddenly things looked different. I mean, people joke about the threesome being a naughty thing. It's every bloke's dream, right?"

Sandra laughed. "Probably."

"But you three were different. I could see how you were in love, just like a couple would be. And no jealousy ... It was actually fascinating."

"I guess we were in love, even back then. Falling in love, at least."

"Do you think you'd be a threesome, if you had met Richard first and been with him for a while?"

Sandra took several breaths before responding. "I don't know," she finally admitted. "It was fate, or luck, that let me find them both at the same time. I would not exchange what I have with them for anything, now. I don't want to be just with Richard, or just with Emily, but rather with both."

"I can see that," Allison said, smiling. "Somehow, it worked out for you three. I envy you, Sandra."

"Envy?"

"You have it all. Two incredible lovers..." Allison laughed a little. "Well, maybe more, I don't know ... You sing incredibly; you're unbelievably beautiful; you are doing what you love —"

Sandra closed her eyes and smiled as Allison spoke. "Thank you, Allison," she said emotionally, taking her hand.

Allison hugged her. "It was really worth coming out this week. I know we've only spent a few days together last year, and a few hours tonight, but I wouldn't have missed this for anything."

"Emily, do you have a moment?"

Emily turned and looked up at her dad, standing arm in arm with Audrey.

"Sure. What is it?"

"Come with me," Clark said.

Emily followed along with Audrey as he led them to the den near the front entrance of the house where a few coats and purses had been left.

He's going to announce their wedding, Emily thought, smiling. She glanced at the diamond ring Audrey now wore. Her father was acting a little strange. He obviously brought Audrey all the way out here for that. For once, I can approve...

Clark turned to her when they were in the quiet room. He sighed, seemingly looking at her for the first time. At last he shook his head slowly.

"Emily, you were amazing tonight," he said.

"Thanks," she said. Her father's slightly tremulous voice made her throat catch.

"I know things have been rough between us for a long time."

Emily smiled and shrugged a little. "I'm glad you came to the concert. I wasn't sure you'd make it. I know you have Mahler Three rehearsals going on. It was probably hard to get out here."

Clark shook his head. "It wasn't hard. A couple of years ago, it would have been impossible, yes."

He glanced at Audrey, his eyes seeking hers in support.

Here it comes, she thought.

"But I've changed. When you called about the recital..."

Clark turned his eyes to the floor. Emily thought they looked wet. It was a sight she couldn't remember having ever seen.

"I realized something tonight that made me very sad," he continued, his voice heavy with regret. "I know exactly how everyone in my orchestra plays, but I hardly know how my own daughter plays."

"You kind of have to, with your job," Emily said gently, suddenly realizing her father was genuinely upset.

Maybe he's not announcing their engagement...

"No. It's not right," he whispered. "I should have paid more attention. I know Ralph keeps me updated on how your lessons go, but ... I should have been more involved. I should have done so, long ago."

Emily looked away, suddenly fighting back tears of her own. Where is my father?

"I wasn't exactly all that open to it," she said, surprised at her words. And yet, it's the truth.

Clark shook his head. "And I don't blame you."

He took a last long deep breath. "I made some mistakes, Emily. I thought I was doing the best thing, at the time. I could try to explain my reasons, but in the end, it's in the past."

He seemed lost in thought for a moment, and then he wiped his eyes and pulled Emily's chin gently towards him, to look her in the eyes. His hand dropped from her face, leaving a gentle caress.

"There are many things that I can't change, but there are some that I can."

He stepped away, reached into the shadows and pulled out a rectangular object.

Emily's heart stopped as she saw it. It took her by such surprise that Audrey had to catch and support her.

Clark smiled sadly. "One of my biggest mistakes ... But I hope this can correct it a little..."

His words barely came through the rushing and roaring sound that overwhelmed her senses. She fought to breathe as she stared at the black violin case, pulsing in the dim light. She hadn't seen it in over seven years, and yet every detail was immediately familiar, like she had brought it to the room herself.

It can't be...

Clark set it down on the desk, and stood aside, his chest heaving with emotion.

Emily walked slowly over to it. Her arms trembled as she ran her fingers across the top, and then worked the clasps. When they were unfastened, she paused, unsure what feelings would come when she opened it.

This can't be ... He sold it!

Emily lifted the lid...

Music exploded in her mind as she saw the violin. She stepped back, unbelieving, and shaken by the intense feelings that surged inside of her.

She was eleven again. Her mother was playing ... Bach...

She looked at her father, her mouth moving but making no sound.

"I had it checked over, and everything is perfect," he said.

Again the words hardly registered with Emily.

Emily at last managed to whisper. "But ... You sold it..."

Clark shook his head sadly. "No, Emily. I never did. Even I would never do that."

"But ... You said ... and the money in my account..."

"I thought that was the only way to make you forget about it. I knew one day you'd want to have this. But you were so set on laying it to rest with Elizabeth..."

His tears returned. "I was going to give it back after you got a few years older. Then ... Then I reacted badly when you pushed me away, and I held onto it instead."

Emily looked up at him through wet eyes. "Why now, then?"

"I've made some mistakes, like I said. I didn't think they were mistakes at the time, or I ignored them, at least." He glanced at Audrey. "But in the last year I've started to realize that I've missed a lot of things that happened in your life. Things that I wish I had been a part of. When you called about the recital ... I knew it was a test. And ... And I decided to make the right choice, this time."

Emily looked back and forth between her father and her mother's violin, still incredulous. "I can't believe it..."

"I'm sorry, Emily. I do love you."

Clark pulled her into a hug, and Emily embraced her father tightly. She hadn't hugged him, really hugged him, for over ten years.

I can't believe it ... Is he changed? Audrey ... She must have helped him...

Emily pulled away from her father, the tears streaming down her cheeks as she smiled. She turned to Audrey, and hugged her too.

"Thank you," Emily whispered to her.

Audrey just squeezed her in response.

Emily at last returned to looking at the violin in wonder.

Will it still sound the same, after all this time? Maybe the music in it is not dead ... I need to show Richard and Sandra...

Audrey handed her a tissue.

"Here, Emily."

She laughed. "I must look a wreck."

"No, you look beautiful," Audrey said.

Emily dabbed at her face as she smiled at the violin.

"I guess I owe you a bunch of money, now," she said to her father, laughing in spite of herself.

Clark took her by the shoulders and shook his head. "No, Emily. You've paid a far greater price already."

Richard had not been sure if there would be any playing of music that evening. The recital had been enough for him, that was sure. However, he should have known that when a crowd of musicians and music lovers gathers, music is inevitable.

Arlene and William had started the entertainment by asking to try Irina's pianos. The request granted, they had each played a few snippets of various solo pieces. Eventually this led to playing some four-hand music that Irina pulled from her stacks of scores.

Richard grinned as Arlene at one point crossed a hand over William's. He gently put it back in its place, and they both laughed.

Looks like they've been practicing Arlene's trick in private, he thought.

"Hey, there," a voice whispered in his ear.

Richard smiled as Sandra wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

"Where have you been?" he asked.

Sandra smiled brightly at him. "Out."

"Out?"

"Looking at the gardens," she said impishly.

Richard looked around the room, noticing that Allison had returned.

"All by yourself?" he asked, raising a brow.

Sandra grinned enigmatically.

"How are you?" he asked sincerely, turning to her and smiling warmly.

"I'm..." Sandra attempted a few words, but at last shook her head, and smiled. Her eyes sparkled.

Richard nodded. "Me too. To think we almost quit a bunch of times this semester. This was so worth it."

She pulled him close, leaning her head on his shoulder in contentment. As William and Arlene turned to a lyrical section of their piece, Sandra swayed with Richard slightly, in an imperceptible dance.

"We're done," she said softly.

"I know. It still feels unreal."

"Would you do it again?"

"For sure," Richard said without hesitation.

"Me too ... Everything, if I had to."

Richard kissed her hair, oblivious to those who watched them.

"I love you, Sandrine."

Sandra giggled slightly. "I love you, too, Riccardo."

The music stuttered, and Richard turned to frown at William, who grinned back as he continued to play.

Fucker. He started messing up the rhythm on purpose!

"What was that?" Sandra asked, pulling away.

"Just William, being William. I guess we were getting too personal, and he decided to mess with me..."

Sandra laughed, and then sighed as she looked at Richard for some time.

Thoughts escaped him, as he lost himself in her eyes.

The spell was broken by the music ending and a smattering of applause.

"I saw Dobra," Sandra said.

"Really?"

"He was in the back row, at the recital."

"Does that mean... ?"

"I don't know. He didn't come backstage to say hi, so maybe he snuck in."

Richard chuckled. "That would be so cool ... But it would actually be cooler if he's back."

"I know."

"We'll find out soon enough, I guess."

Sandra nodded. "I have this gut feeling that things have worked out, though. I just know. But we'll find out in class. Tomorrow, if I can get up."