Chapter 21: Canon

Richard was painfully nervous when he knocked on Sandra and Emily's door. He heard talking as he leaned close to the door, but there was no answer after he knocked. Only silence.

"Sandra, Emily. Open up, please. I need to talk to you," Richard called through the door.

There was another silent moment, and then Richard heard the door unlatch. Emily pulled it open, and slipped out into the hallway.

"She's pretty upset right now," Emily said quietly.

"I know. I feel really bad. I messed up, and said some things I shouldn't have," Richard said earnestly.

Emily nodded. "Just be nice? I'm going to watch some TV downstairs."

"Okay. Thanks."

Emily smiled with some relief, and gave Richard a quick hug.

Richard slipped into the room and shut the door quietly. Sandra was lying on her bed, staring at the wall. Richard felt a wave of emotion rush through him. I've made her so sad!

He sat gingerly on the edge of her bed, and just watched her shoulders moving for a while. He was surprised when she spoke.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly.

Richard was speechless. She had spoken only the truth to him, and he had been completely insensitive. Why was she apologizing to him? Fear gripped him as he wondered what she meant. Was it over?

"Sorry?" he repeated quietly. "Why?"

"This whole thing should never have happened."

Richard again panicked, wondering if she meant the situation with Dr. Dobra... or their relationship.

"I'm the one who should be apologizing," Richard said. "Not you. I don't know why I didn't trust you. Well, I do know why. Because I was mad at Dr. Dobra."

Richard put a tentative hand on her shoulder. "I feel really bad about what I said earlier, and yesterday. I had no idea you could do that. I mean, I knew you were good in class, but what you did today..." Richard shook his head again in wonder. "That was amazing. I'm sorry I didn't trust you."

"I'm not mad at you, Richard," Sandra said softly.

"Okay, but..."

"I'm just sad that we said those things to each other. And in that way."

"You were right, though, and I wasn't," Richard said.

Sandra turned her head away from the wall and looked movingly at Richard. She let out a deep breath. "You were just looking out for me, and you told me so."

Richard didn't answer.

"I guess I wasn't expecting that reaction from you, and at first you made me mad," Sandra continued. "But, I know how you don't like Dr. Dobra, and I know he has this reputation and everything. I can see why you said what you said."

Richard pursed his lips. "I didn't know it was for real."

"I know. I didn't really know, either," Sandra said. She turned to the wall again. "And I hate how I snapped back at you."

"Don't. I needed it," Richard said glumly.

"It wasn't right, and it wasn't true. I was just... feeling attacked, and sometimes I can get defensive, I guess."

"Oh, Sandra, I'm so sorry this happened too," Richard said, suddenly losing control of his voice. He crumpled down onto the bed next to her, awkwardly wrapping an arm around her shoulder as he pressed close to her back. A few of his tears rolled onto her pillow.

Sandra squeezed his hand, and Richard felt some relief at the gesture.

"I let my... dislike for Dobra get in the way," Richard said. "And I hate how I ruined your news. I mean, you must have been so happy to hear that you were moving up, and then I went and squashed that like a total asshole. Didn't give up, either."

Sandra turned around to face him, and took his face in her hands. "Let's just promise not to do this again," she whispered.

Richard nodded seriously. "Yeah. Never again."

Sandra moved close to him, and he embraced her tightly. Her body trembled a little in his arms.

"I hated these last two days," Sandra said, her voice emotional. "Emily said you were sick, and I wanted to go see you, but she said you were still talking about the Dobra thing, so I was scared."

Richard closed his eyes at those words.

"I love you, Richard. I really love you, and I was so sad that we went through this." Sandra gripped him tightly. "I hope you aren't mad at me."

"No, Sandra, I'm not mad. I'm really proud of you. I love you too," Richard said.

I do love her, he realized. He'd never said that to anyone save his parents before. It felt right.

"So what are you going to do about Dobra's class?" Sandra asked Richard, after they had held each other for a while.

"Well, I need to practice more. And get some help."

"He has been really hard on you this year," Sandra said.

"Maybe. But still, you were right. I've been slacking in that class. He told me so, and you told me so. I guess I thought he was being really unfair, just because you're female and I'm not. But after seeing what you did today..."

Sandra winced slightly. "I can't believe he made me do that in front of the class. I'm so embarrassed."

"Embarrassed? You blew everyone away! People stomped when you finished!"

"He put me on the spot, because I told him I wasn't going to move up. This morning I put a note in his box. I guess he got angry."

"He didn't get angry, Sandra. He was trying to prove something to you."

"What?"

"That you don't belong in that class. He thinks you have serious talent."

"How do you know?"

"He told me," Richard said, simply.

"Told you?"

"Yeah, after class ended we had another talk. I thought he was being an asshole to you, but he really made it sound like you have something special. Something he doesn't even have."

"Oh, that sounds like he's bullshitting," Sandra said.

"No, I'm serious. And I believe it, after seeing you do that dictation today. I can't even begin to understand how you got that whole thing right just listening to it twice. I'd still be there now trying to figure out the first measure, probably."

"I just hear the melody and write it down," Sandra said. "It's not that hard."

"Yeah, whatever! He was talking about how we can learn to do that, but without training, few people can just do it right off the bat. Very few people."

"Well, I don't know. I don't think it helps much with singing, except I can learn stuff faster."

"I don't know either, but it's still amazing."

"I'm a little scared about moving up."

"He didn't seem worried. He said that you could easily handle the class."

Sandra shrugged. "I guess."

"You are going to move up, right?"

"Do you think I should?"

"Well, of course!"

Sandra nodded. "I guess I will then. But I'm going to miss sitting next to you!"

"I know. But maybe you can help me with the class? I know you'll have a lot of work to do, but maybe you could show me a few things?"

"Oh, I'd be happy to!" Sandra said eagerly.

"Really?"

"Of course! I'll help you as much as you want."

Richard let out a sigh of relief. "Cool. I'm positive that will be better than working with Dobra."

Sandra laughed, and then frowned. "I don't know, though. If I start teaching you, things may get a little off track sometimes. I don't want to get Dobra's reputation, you know?"

Richard grinned. "You mean my lessons might cover more than theory?"

"I can think of several places you will need to cover," Sandra said, eyeing him suggestively. Her hand moved down along Richard's chest.

"Um..."

"Let's go get Emily," Sandra said, excitement in her voice. She clambered over him, her hand stopping just short of reaching where Richard had been hoping. "It's been so long since we've had fun."

"I know," Richard agreed, rolling over and looking at her as she straightened her clothes. "These recording sessions and midterms have kept me really busy."

"Hey, we've been busy too. And distracted from each other. I can see that you're back. You have that look in your eyes."

"That look?" Richard asked.

"Yeah. That look you give me. See, you are doing it right now."

Richard laughed, and shook his head.

"Let's go," Sandra said, reaching for his hands as she stood. "Emily's probably wondering if everything is okay. I know she's been really uneasy with this whole thing. We need to talk to her."

"How is she feeling?"

"She said she was just trying to stay out of the middle," Sandra said.

"Mm. I need to apologize to her," Richard said.

"Me too," Sandra agreed, smiling.

Emily flipped the channel yet again. Everything was soap operas and talk shows. In reality, Emily's mind was not on the television programming, though.

I really hope things are going well up there, Emily thought. But what if they don't work things out?

Emily was noticing that Richard became distant when he worked hard. Even though they spent some time at meals and also in the rare hours when their class and practicing schedules had a common gaps, he was often not very present. With the recent string of recording sessions, it had been very difficult to connect with him at all. Perhaps that was the root of this whole fight. He looked really run down yesterday when he was sick.

Emily checked her watch. There was about an hour until she had to go to ensemble seminar. I should probably go warm up, she thought. I'll give them five more minutes.

Emily turned the television off and ambled over to check her mailbox. There was a letter, so she turned the key and pulled out the envelope, along with some flyers.

Just as she started to look at the return address, the stairwell door opened and Sandra and Richard came into the lobby. Emily could tell immediately by the look on Sandra's face that things had been resolved. Furthermore, it looked like they were... Wait, did they have make-up sex already?

"Hey," Sandra said.

"Hi," Emily replied.

"I'm sorry," Sandra and Richard both blurted out at once.

"Is everything cool?" Emily asked.

"Yeah," Sandra said, smiling warmly. "But how are you?"

Emily eyed them for a moment. "Just glad to see you two talking normally to each other."

"I know. We don't want to do that again," Richard said.

"I know it must be weird to be in the middle," Sandra said.

Emily shrugged. "I guess I felt more like I was on the outside, not so much the middle."

Richard nodded, although he didn't say anything.

Emily watched them as they stood arm in arm facing her.

"Are you okay?" Sandra asked.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I guess it was a little weird to see you go through that. That's all," Emily added. "I've not done this three-way relationship thing before, and..."

Emily trailed off, and the three of them looked around. No one was in the lobby that they could see.

"Maybe we should go to the room," Emily said.

The three of them ascended to Emily and Sandra's floor. Emily unlocked the door and tossed the mail onto the desk. I feel nervous. Why am I nervous? I should be relieved.

When she turned, Sandra and Richard were sitting on Sandra's bed, watching her. Emily sat on her own bed, hands under her thighs. It was a little cold in the room, it suddenly seemed.

"Richard was saying how he talked with Dr. Dobra after class," Sandra began. The rest of her words washed out in a echo inside of Emily's head. As the room spun and threatened to close up around her, she tried to control her breathing. Whirling, round and round...

Why are they looking at me like that?

"Oh, I have to go to Ensemble class," Emily announced suddenly, standing all at once. "I'm sorry, I just realized. I forgot." She looked around for her horn, finding it by her desk. "Dinner? I'm done around five."

"Yeah, sure. Are you okay?" Richard asked.

"Yeah. I have to warm up. I'll see you two later."

Emily gave them a smile and then shouldered her book bag. Moments later, as she stepped out of the room, she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Leaning against the wall, she steadied herself. What is going on?

"What was that all about?" Sandra asked.

Richard was staring at the closed door to the room as if he could see through it.

"I don't know. Maybe she's not okay."

"She looked like she was going to faint for a second there," Sandra said pensively.

"Yeah. Weird. She cut you off mid-sentence. That's not like her."

Richard got up and went to the door. He peeked out the view hole, and then opened the door and stepped out. A moment later he reentered and closed the door again.

"I guess she lost track of time," Richard said, shrugging.

Sandra stood up and walked to the window. For a long time the two of them just stood still, trying to decipher Emily's sudden departure.

"Hey, look," Sandra said suddenly. She held up an envelope.

"What is it?" Richard asked, moving close to her.

"A letter from Allison."

"Cool. Open it."

Sandra hesitated. "Should we wait for Emily?"

"Um, it's address to the two of you. Maybe we should."

Sandra glanced at the clock. "Let's go see if we can catch her before she goes into class."

"All right. I'd feel better knowing is she's feeling better," Richard agreed.

Sandra nodded knowingly.

Emily wandered along the corridor of practice rooms, half-heartedly looking for an empty room. A door opened up ahead, and she paused, not really in the mood to enter a hot room. I really should warm up though...

As she moved towards the door, Emily stopped short. Joel Brent came out of the room and walked away down the hall, not having seen her.

"Joel," she called out. She wasn't sure why she did so.

Joel turned, and gave her a big grin when he saw her.

"Hey Emily!" How's it going?"

"All right."

"Practice time?"

"Yeah. I'm surprised to see you here. I thought you practiced at home."

Joel shrugged. "I needed to listen to something in the library, and then I had to try it out." He laughed richly and gestured to the empty room. "I'll just say I don't miss the practice rooms much."

Emily nodded and smiled a little.

Joel came closer to her, and his face grew serious. "You look a little pale. Are you all right?"

Emily waved vaguely. "Just hot. I don't really want to practice, even though I have ensemble class in a little while."

"Who's teaching?"

"Sarno."

"Right on. But I think he's sick today."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I was supposed to talk with him about something and there was a note on his door saying everything was cancelled for today."

"Oh. Well, that's cool. I wasn't really in the mood."

Joel nodded. "You want to go get a drink then? You look like you could use a break."

"Um, I don't know. I should probably still do something."

Joel smirked. "Ri-ight."

Emily considered a moment more. "Where would we go?" she asked.