I was having lunch with my brother Tom. It was one of his rare trips downtown and since it had been close to noon he had called and asked me to join him at Mario's for lunch. I love my brother and I would do anything for him, but he can be such a pill at times and this was one of those times.

After a suitable period spent on the pleasantries he launched into the real reason for his wanting to have lunch. His wife Kathy had been at the Hilton Tuesday for one of her Mary Kay things.

"Still trying to get the pink car?"

"Hey, don't knock it. It gets her out of the house and gives her something to do. Anyway, what I'm getting at here is that she saw you and some red head checking in."

"That was not just some redhead, that was Rhonda and Rhonda gives the best head in this state."

"This isn't a laughing matter Jake. Kathy is agonizing over whether she should tell Linda or not. You know how close they are."

"Well I certainly don't want Kathy to be in agony. Tell her to tell Linda whatever she feels like. Better yet, tell Kathy to be sitting in the lounge at the Marriott tonight around five. Tell her to sit where she can see the registration desk and she will see me check in with a brunette who has huge tits. That will give her even more incentive to do the right thing."

"You sound as if you don't care if your marriage goes into the toilet?"

"That's the problem bro, I don't care. My marriage has been in the toilet for almost five years now and it is time to end the farce, to put it out of its misery."

I thought back to the day seven years ago when life had seemed so full of promise.

As I stood watching Linda come down the aisle toward me on the arm of her father I had a grin that stretched from ear to ear. She was drop dead gorgeous, she was smart, she was witty and she was mine. I couldn't believe that I had gotten lucky enough to find her.

I had found her strictly by accident. I was paying a call on a customer and I got off the elevator on the wrong floor. I walked into the first office I came to and behind the reception desk was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. My heart stopped and my brain froze. She flashed me a dazzling smile and asked:

"May I help you?"

The world stopped as I stared at her. I was speechless. Her smiled slipped a little and a look of concern appeared on her face.

"Are you all right?"

That my brain was frozen was evidenced by my reply:

"I want to marry you."

She blushed and said, "Sorry, but I never accept marriage proposals until after the first date and even then I insist on knowing the name of the proposer."

I finally got my wits back enough to say, "Jake, Jake Barnes."

"Hi Jake, I'm Linda. Back to my original question, what can I do for you?"

I told her who I was there to see and she informed me that I was in the wrong place and then she told me where the right office was. An hour later I was back and got another dazzling smile.

"Lost again Jake Barnes?"

"No, this time I know exactly where I am. You said you never accept marriage proposals until after the first date so we need to get it out of the way. When would be good for you?"

She contemplated me for about thirty seconds and then said:

"Tonight Jake Barnes, tonight would be good for me."

I made arrangements to pick her up after work and left her office feeling on top of the world. At the restaurant that evening I fell even farther under her spell. I knew that this was the woman meant for me and after a cocktail over which we exchanged vital statistics I said:

"Enough of the minor chit chat. Let's get to the important stuff. Do we want a small wedding, a large one or do we just want to go to Vegas and get it done on the quick?"

She laughed and said, "You are not a very observant man are you Jake Barnes?"

"Why would you think that?"

"Have you not even looked at my left hand?"

I did and saw the very large engagement ring. I shrugged and said:

"Means nothing, he isn't here, I am. You were meant for me and I know it so he will just have to step aside."

"Don't I have any say in it?"

"You already have, you are here aren't you?"

"Are you always this confident in yourself?"

"I'm confident in the knowledge that we were meant for each other."

"I guess we will just have to see about that."

It took me four months, but one night I took her to dinner and I saw that the ring was gone. I proposed to her that very night and there she was, walking down the aisle toward me wearing the same smile that dazzled me the first time I saw her.

The first year of our marriage was magical. We just could not stay away from each other. We would race home from work just to get to each other. When we were together it was like we were joined at the hip. If you saw one of us the other wouldn't be more than a foot away. And touch? We constantly touched. If I walked by Linda my reaching out and touching her as I passed was automatic and she was the same with me.

Then it got even better. I came home from work one night and Linda ran to me and threw her arms around me.

"I hope you are ready for this lover. I went to the doctor's today and guess what? You are going to be a daddy!"

I would not have believed it possible, but as Linda's pregnancy progressed she became even more beautiful, even more sexy.

Our sexual relationship was a great as our spiritual relationship. Linda loved sex and was willing to try anything at least once. I was not as much into experimenting as she was, but if she wanted to try something I was always willing. It took a while to work through some of the things Linda wanted to try and fortunately, at least for my peace of mind anyway, she found that after trying things like water sports, light bondage, and a few other things that she didn't care for them. We settled into the comfortable (and very enthusiastic) use of the Big Three — oral, anal and vaginal.

Linda loved to be eaten and she liked to swallow. She went nuts when she took me in her pooper and when it came to regular sex she was damned near insatiable. We made love right up to the beginning of her eighth month and even after we stopped penetration we kept taking care of each other orally. Life was great and so full of promise.

Everything changed in the space of nine hours. Linda's water broke, I rushed her to the hospital, there were complications and she lost the baby. After that Linda was a changed woman. The life seemed to have gone out of her. She withdrew into herself; the touching stopped and she didn't snuggle or cuddle anymore. Any attempt at intimacy on my part was met by actual, physical withdrawal — she would flinch and move away from me.

When the doctor cleared her to engage in sex again she surprised me by moving out of our bedroom. I came home one night to find that she had moved everything of hers, right down to the last bobby pin, into the spare bedroom. When I asked her why all she would say was that she needed her space.

She had gone back to work shortly after coming home from the hospital and that didn't help matters any. She took all the overtime they offered and I began to suspect that it was so she could stay away from me. After six months I finally made her sit down to discuss our problems. All she would say was that there was nothing wrong with her, that I didn't understand what she was going through, that I was a man and had no idea and on and on and on. I suggested she seek professional help and she told me she didn't need it. I suggested that we both go to counseling and she told me she didn't need it. Her attitude was:

"There is nothing wrong with me, just leave me alone."

We had no relationship at all when we were home alone, but when we were out in public it was different. The touching and hovering near each other was gone, but Linda acted the loving wife in front of friends and family. Once I overheard her telling a girlfriend what a marvelous husband I was, but at home she avoided me.

I loved her, God knows I did, but I'm only human. After sixteen months of not even being kissed by Linda temptation reared it's ugly head and I strayed. Jennie was a secretary who worked in the same building I did and one afternoon as we were leaving work the elevator we were in got stuck between floors. There were just the two of us and with nothing better to do we talked. We talked about our jobs, our boss's and our lives. Jennie was five foot, one hundred well packaged pounds and had hair the color of a raven's wing. I was looking at her and fantasizing having sex with her right there in the elevator when she said: