Chapter 1: What happened to my life?

I was sitting here in the restaurant going over my life. I have had a lot of wild things happen to me in my lifetime. Wild might not be the operative word. Strange, weird, different would all fit. Maybe my life was normal, maybe everyone had similar lives but just don't talk about it. No, that can't be, unless everyone spent time in prison.

I put in my time for a crime I committed. You see, I killed a man. I got fifteen to life and now I'm out. According to the judge I had extenuating circumstances. So, wow, I'm out in only fifteen years. At least I got out five years earlier then expected with time off for good behavior.

Fifteen fucking years because I killed a man who I thought was raping my wife. If I had known what I know now there would have probably been two dead bodies unless I would have been able to just leave. I'm a man and at that time I had a lot of pride.

Let me explain life and how I see it. People around us act some way and we react to their action. Boy, that sounded dumb, let me give you examples.

I'm standing in an aisle in any store. A couple is there and the wife bends over. I'm standing next to the husband or whoever and we both see the woman's panties and the crack of her ass. I'm supposed to ignore the scene but I can't. The man sees what I'm looking at and smiles at me. How am I suppose to take it? I would love to say, "Nice ass. Mind if I touch it?" Yet the man just stands and stares at his wife's ass too. I'm never sure what to say or do.

I go in another aisle and the woman has no bra on and I see her big tits and her nipples. I start getting a hard-on because my brain doesn't know any better. I want to reach out and grab this lady whom I don't even know by her tits. She has every right to wear or not to wear a bra. Do I have a right to look at her breasts? Good question!

Girls and women wear hip-huggers. They hang as low as four or five inches below their belly button. Get close enough and you see the light fuzzy hair on the lower belly and to me it's a turn-on.

All the movie stars push sex and are married time and time again. The movies themselves are all about sex. Now television is all about sex. So when I'm out in public I look at every woman and I think about sex. However some women, I would never want to get near with a ten foot pole (well, unless you've been in prison for fifteen years) and there are others that I would almost go to jail to get hold of, until I settle back down into reality.

To young people today all those things and lifestyles are normal but for us slightly older people, especially those who have been out of commission for awhile it's sexy as hell and very confusing.

I'm not even sure where to began my story. There is enough information in my head to write a book. I guess I ought to start with telling you about my formerly wonderful marriage that ended in divorce when I went to prison.

Rita was my wife of nearly ten years. I had just gotten out of college and was a regular guy looking for a job. I went to this one firm and as I was waiting to be interviewed I kept looking at the receptionist. Damn, what a cute girl/woman! At twenty-two, I looked at women as a younger guy would. They were girls, broads, gals, or women, all the words were interchangeable with me. I kept smiling at the receptionist who was Rita. We started a conversation and eventually I asked her out. I got the date but not the job.

I did find a job selling hardware products. It was a good paying job, I received both a salary and selling bonuses. Life was turning out to be pretty good for me being fresh out of college. A girlfriend and a good job, I was on my way to a successful career and life. I proposed to Rita after just a few months and we were married by the mayor of our town. I couldn't have been happier.

We bought a nice home and started a family. After a year we had a son and two years later a daughter. As far as I knew life was good. We had our problems but we had our good times too. Our life went on probably like all your neighbors. We did things with our kids, took them on vacations and had the usual neighborhood barbeques. I didn't suspect my wife was anything other then true and loving to me. I know I was to her. I had many chances for affairs since I was on the road a lot but I did my best to be a loving husband and not stray. I do have to admit it was hard at times but I had my pride and always put my family first.

We decided to put in a swimming pool for the kids - well, actually it was for all of us. That's what I'm trying to say. I never saw it coming. I thought we had a loving marriage, a good relationship. I must have been walking around in never-never land with blinders on. Rita seemed like a good wife and mother. Problems and arguments, sure we had them just like every other married couple we knew. Even after fifteen years I still can't get it out of my system. Where the hell did I go wrong?

We had the swimming pool in and were enjoying it. The kids, who were then seven and nine years old, were in the pool all the time. Rita and I would get in after dark and she would take off her little two piece bathing suit and we would do it in the water. I remember the first time we had sex in the pool. She slipped her bottoms off and I started fingering her under water. Then I pushed her against the side of the pool and put my hands under her ass as she raised her legs and wrapped them around me while I entered her. The feeling was so different with all the splashing of the water that we were doing. I came loads in her; good thing we bought the larger pool filter.

After the first couple of times, Rita thought we should get a privacy fence put up so the neighbors couldn't see us while we were in the pool. I started putting up the fence the next day, setting the poles for the fence. I knew it was going to take me a week to put it up by myself so I left all the tools out that I knew I would need like the wheelbarrow and shovels. The only tools I put away were hand tools and electrical stuff in case of rain.

I was supposed to go out of town for a couple of days and told Rita I would finish the fence when I returned. As usual she was pissed at me saying I was never at home like other husbands. I explained to her for the hundredth time that I was a salesman and I had to travel, that was my job. She yelled at me and said I should be at home like other husbands staying at home and protecting my family.

She always said shit like that to piss me off. I told her if anyone tried to attack her we had a pistol in the end table next to our bed. What was a guy to do? Lots of men traveled. Did their wives always complain? Maybe I should get a job where I didn't travel. I would talk to her about it after this trip. It would be a lot less money but at least I would be home. That might satisfy her.

I kissed her goodbye in the morning and told her I would try to be home in two days. I told her to take care and I would call her. She told me not to bother; she might not be home. Again she was playing the 'Woe is me' game. So I left for my trip.

My first night I would be staying only forty miles from home. I usually stayed at the motel so I could get a quick start the following day. After our argument, I thought I would surprise her and come home and do the extra driving the next morning. When I got home, it was getting dark and I pulled in the drive. There was a strange vehicle parked across the street. As a salesman I always noticed things like that.

The lights were off in the house except for a lamp in the living room. I turned the knob but the storm door was locked so I walked around to the back door by the pool. I heard Rita screaming and rushed to the back porch. There was Rita being raped by a stranger. I heard her screaming but didn't listen to her words. I grabbed the shovel and ran up to the pool deck and hit the rapist as hard as I could on the back of the head and neck with the shovel. I must have hit him three times, I really didn't know. He rolled off of Rita onto his back with blood everywhere.