Chapter 1

The sound of the rain as it fell on the surface of the temporary cover I was standing under was like a hiss of anger at the fates for taking away the person that I had loved for so long. I was there alone, the others giving me this moment to say a private goodbye. The two workmen were standing just out of sight, giving me the illusion of privacy. The coffin had been lowered into the gaping hole and the cover kept the rain away until it could be filled, closing off forever the world above. I let the tears flow now that I was alone. I cried for the loss of that person who understood me, who had maintained me and had given me back my life. I would miss the friendship, the companionship and the love given without reservation for so long. I let the tears fall as I remembered our life together and the wonderful gifts that it brought into my life.

The beginning of the end of my other life began as I watched Albert walk out of the room and down the hall to our bedroom. I waited until he had closed the door and then I let go. I began to cry, holding my head in my hands and giving vent to all of my grief. I cried until I was gasping for breath and then I lay down on the couch with my legs drawn up to my chest and cried some more. I couldn't keep it back any longer. It had been coming for a long time and now I was lost to it.

I cried for many reasons, the least of which was my guilt and sense of betrayal of my husband and our marriage, but also for the loss of our life together and the loss of my husband to his depression and his deceit.

In order to understand what happened to bring me to this place, I went back to the beginning.

My husband's name is Albert Bennington. Most people recognize him from the scandal several years ago when the company he worked for was implicated in a national security issue. It was in all the papers and even on national TV. I am his wife, Angelina or Angie as my friends call me. We've been married for just over 33 years now. I'm 53 and Al is 55. We have one daughter, Jennifer who is now 30 but we haven't seen or talked with her for over 10 years. She was adopted and was trouble from the time she was old enough to find ways to sneak out of the house. To make a long story short, she left home at 18, already pregnant and we had no contact with her after she left.

Al worked for a company that sold machine parts to companies off shore. It involved government contracts and there was always some kind of scam going between the people his company sold to and who ultimately got the parts. I never understood much about it and Al tried to keep me out of it for the most part. He had been with them for 14 years and had moved up rapidly until he was President and CFO. That was when the scandal broke and Al was implicated in a money laundering deal with an Iranian company.

The Justice Department filed suit and Al and several other men were indicted. The trial was nasty and blame was scattered far and wide. That trial lasted for over two years and during that time, Al tried to hide most of our assets in offshore accounts. The FBI was able to find and freeze many of those assets and money became a problem for us. We sold our home and cars and moved into a smaller place. Against Al's wishes, I finally decided to get a job. I needed the job for my own sanity and we needed it to bring in a little extra money. I found a job in a bank here in town, beginning as a teller and finally working my way up to agent, dealing with corporate accounts.

The trial caused Al to sink into a deep depression. He lost his job of course and he was not able to find another while he was under indictment. He spent most of our money on lawyers and our funds went from modest to nonexistent in less than two and a half years. At the end of the first trial, Al had lost almost all of our money and assets and his health had started to decline. By the time all of the appeals were finished, we were down to only my income and we were living in a small single level, two bedroom house outside the city limits. It was the best we could do.

During all of this, I stayed with Al and never even thought about a divorce. I was his wife and I had promised for better or worse and richer or poorer. That time was the worst and we became poor. But I stayed.

Unfortunately, our marriage began to suffer almost from the first when the indictments were handed down. Al and I had a good solid marriage and had few problems during our 30 plus years. Our sex life was not exciting but it was solid and we both enjoyed our times together. I had two different moods for making love; the first was what I called my pleasure mode and the other was my pain mode. Not really, but that's what Al and I called them. My pleasure mode was the one where I loved to make Al happy by giving him oral and then letting him lay back while I mounted him and made love to him. My pleasure was in making him happy. Often, I had no climax during these times but I didn't care. It made me happy. The pain mode was more typical for couples and Al took the lead. We enjoyed both equally.

We had settled into a routine where we had sex on those evenings we had been out to a party and almost always at least once during the weekend. Al loved to get up Saturday morning, go into the kitchen and bring back some chilled fruit. We would sit in bed and eat the fruit and then we would make love. We often did it more than once and sometimes as many as three times. Of course, at our age, that meant we stayed in bed most of the morning and part of the early afternoon. But it was our time and we both loved it.

As things went downhill during the trial, so did our love life. After the first trial, we had stopped making love and we only had sex once or twice a month. That was usually only if Al had a bad day and needed comforting. This led to pleasure sex. I didn't mind those times and actually looked forward to them since it was all I had to give Al. But after the trial and finally the appeals, sex stopped completely and Al never came to me for comfort again.

It was after the appeals and well into the third year after Al lost his job that his deep depression worsened even more. It came slowly and I never noticed it since I was gone most of the day at work. Al stayed home and did almost nothing but I didn't complain. I was hoping he would come out of it since he escaped jail time. I tried to get him into calling some of his contacts but if he did, he never mentioned it to me. It finally got so bad that I made him go to see a shrink. She listened to him and finally prescribed some anti depressants. I made sure he took them but I saw little difference. He was seeing her twice a week but we couldn't afford the money so he stopped going shortly after.

I was working at a bank in town that was fairly large. This bank had been expanding by buying some smaller banks and S & Ls. They were a good place to work since I was able to move up in the bank fairly fast. I had become an accounts manager by that time and I had four other people working for me. They were all young and very good. I enjoyed my job and looked forward to going to work. I was sure part of that was getting away from Al. Not that he cared: Al never even commented on my job and never asked about it.

I reported to a gentleman about my age that was very good looking and very nice to work for. His name was Haywood Meisner and we all called him Woody. He took the time to train me when I started and he was the one that had recommended me to management when it came time to pick a department head. He was divorced and lived alone in a very well to do neighborhood. At one time, Al and I would have been his neighbors. He had also been a good friend and a confidant during Al's trial and the time afterward. He was supportive and could always be counted on to lend me a sympathetic ear. I suspected he might have wished for more from me than friendship but he never pressed and I was dedicated to my husband and my marriage.

Al had been out of work for just over three years and in his depression for almost 15 months. He told me that he continued to take the pills the shrink prescribed and they at least kept him moving around most of the time. It was during one of our frequent fights one evening when Al surprised me by saying that he had talked with a friend of his who might have a job for him. I forgot what we were arguing about since I was excited and happy for him and tried to get him to talk about it to me but he just shrugged and said it was too early. He said he had a meeting with the guy in a day or so and then we could talk.

We went to bed that night and I thought that maybe Al would want to make love, but when I tried to initiate it, he just turned away and turned out the light. I was frustrated, angry and becoming bitter at his attitude. He seemed to have no interest in me, our marriage or sex any more. I cried but he seemed not to notice. I fell asleep frustrated and alone with my husband of 33 years lying beside me.

The following morning, I was up and getting ready for work while Al still slept. That wasn't unusual since he rarely got up much before noon. I did shake him awake to ask about his planned meeting that day and he just mumbled that it was later. He rolled over and put the pillow over his head so I left him alone. I finished dressing and went off to work. I usually ate a small breakfast at a diner near the bank since Al never bothered with breakfast.

As I was finishing my coffee, Woody came in and saw me sitting there. He walked over and surprised me by asking if he could join me. Surprise because I had never seen
Woody here before and because he had never asked me for even coffee before. I told him to join me by all means and he slid in across the table from me.

"I saw you sitting here and thought that we could spend some free time before work. We rarely see each other any other time than at work. I hope you don't mind?"

"Of course not Woody. You are most welcome. I could use some friendly company right now anyway."

"Trouble in paradise? I hope everything is OK with Albert?"

"Albert is the problem. Living with him is far from a paradise. I had hoped that things might be looking up for him last night, but I don't think he was being honest when he said he had a lead for a job. I think he was just trying to get me to back off."

Woody and I talked for the next 15 minutes until it was time to go in to work. As we got up to leave, he reached over and took my hand.

"I would like to continue with our discussion, that is if you would. Would you care to have dinner with me tonight?"

I was taken by surprise and didn't know what to say. I looked into his eyes but saw only friendship and concern there. For some reason, that gave me the confidence to say yes. We agreed to meet after work and walk to a restaurant about a block away. This way, we would not have to worry about our cars. I went to work feeling slightly giddy. I reminded myself that this was my boss and he was just being a good friend.

I didn't see Woody much during the rest of the day and I had lunch with one of the agents who worked for me. We went to the same diner that I used for breakfast and she and I talked a little about nothing until I told her of my dinner plans with Woody. She immediately perked up and began to question me about it.

"All right, give! What's up with you girl? Woody is a real cute guy and I'd give my right arm for a date with him. Is it serious? Talk to me!"

"Its just dinner and it is only a continuation of a discussion we started at breakfast this morning. He's just being friendly, that's all. I'm married and he knows that."

"So you had breakfast with him too? Way to go. I know he has the hots for you anyway. You have to know how he looks at you when you aren't looking. I wish he looked at me that way."

I admit I was taken by surprise. I had not thought of Woody that way and I certainly didn't notice him looking at me in any special way. However, the thought of it now made me just a little excited. I think it was because I had never considered Woody as anything other than an employer before. I didn't quite know why I thought of this, but I did.

"Stop talking that way. He's my boss and that's all. I'm going to dinner only because he asked me just to allow us to continue talking about things. We'll have dinner and then I'll go home to Al. That's all there is to it."

But I wasn't so sure. We finished lunch and went back to the bank but now I was conscious of Woody and did notice him looking my way several times. I decided that I was being silly and forgot it for the remainder of the day. Since I was a department head, I worked until 4:30 every day and was usually one of the last people out the door. Tonight, since we were going to dinner, I took my time and wasn't finished until just before 5:30.

At 4:30, my usual quitting time, I called home to tell Al that I was going to be late. The phone rang without him picking up and I left a message on the machine. I assumed he would finally get to look at it and thought no more about it. At 5:30 when I finished, I freshened up in the lounge and went looking for Woody. I found him in his office.

"Are you about through? I can leave anytime you're ready."

"Give me 10 minutes and we can go. Why don't you come in and sit down till I'm through." He waved me in and I sat down on his couch. He did have a nice office.

I watched him as he made some calls and finished some work on his computer. I was surprised to find myself looking at him as a man rather than as my boss. I was pleasantly surprised though, and wondered idly what he would be like outside of work. I was daydreaming when he brought me back to reality.

"Hello there? Anybody home? You were a thousand miles away. What were you thinking about?"

I certainly couldn't tell him that so I responded with an inane comment about work. I stood up and followed him out the door. I calmed myself down as he turned to lock the door. We left and walked down to the restaurant together. I was beginning to relax and enjoy his company as we were seated.

The dinner went well and I completely forgot my troubles as we talked about his life. He told me of his marriage and his ex wife as well as his children. It seems that he parted company with his ex on fairly good terms and his children were fully grown so no issues existed there. They all got together at holidays and they enjoyed their time together. He was particularly proud of his two grandchildren. I asked him why he got divorced and he simply said that they grew apart. I told him I was sorry but he said that they really knew some time earlier that they would finally part. He had no regrets.

He asked me about Al and I told him of my concerns. I talked to him as I had talked to no one else and told him my frustrations and concerns. I told him that I worried that Al was not going to come out of his depression and that I didn't know what was going to happen to us as a couple. I told him those things and more. I talked about our lack of a love life and how it used to be. Somehow, I wasn't embarrassed talking to him like that. I really spilled my heart to him and he listened attentively and with compassion. I felt lighter somehow as if I had just shed a great load.

We talked over dinner and then finally ran out of major issues over dessert. We shared a piece of cake and had coffee. I admit I was in a kind of glow by then. It was at that point that my life took a turn.

"Angie, this may not be the time or place but I have to tell you how much I admire you for what you have been through. I know the price you have paid but I also know that it has made you stronger."

"Thank you Woody. It has been a blessing to have you listen to me and let me share my burden with you. I really appreciate it."

"You're most welcome, but I did it for my own reasons. I find you to be a very attractive woman and I've watched you for some time. I'm very attracted to you."

I was shocked at his words but also flattered. I didn't quite know what to say so I just smiled at him and said nothing.

"I hope I'm not out of line. I don't want to give you the wrong idea but I would very much like to continue to see you outside of work. I would like to take you out socially if you would consider it. I know you don't get out and neither do I and we could really share some fun things like dancing or theater or other things that you might like."

Now I was really confused. On one hand, I knew that as a married woman, I should not accept his offer. But, with Al as he was, I had no other outlet and Woody was a very nice man and I thought safe as well.

"I would like that Woody. But since I am married, I would have to be sure it's OK with Al. He doesn't go out at all but I don't know how he would feel about me going out. I wouldn't do it without his knowledge."

"Of course. Please don't do anything that you are uncomfortable about. Just let me know when you're sure. OK?"

With that, we talked for a few more minutes and then Woody walked me back to my car. As I opened the door, he leaned over and kissed me on the mouth. I returned his kiss before it occurred to me what I was doing. I suddenly jerked back as Woody apologized.

"I'm sorry. That was a surprise to me as well. I hope I didn't offend you."

"No, no, it was just a surprise that's all. Well, goodnight."

With that I shut the door, started the car and drove home in complete confusion. I remembered the kiss with pleasure and some degree of tingling and tried to calm myself down. By the time I reached home, I had regained my composure and walked into the house calmly.

I looked for Al and found him upstairs in bed. It was only 8:15 and he was already in bed. I walked in to check on him and he was sound asleep. I changed my clothes and went back down stairs to check on things. I noticed my phone message had not been read and Al had eaten a bag of chips for supper. I sat down at the table and looked at the message light and the empty chips bag and started to cry.

I finally went to bed and wondered to myself what I was going to do. As I listened to Al breathe next to me, I finally decided that I wanted to be with Woody. I wanted some fun and excitement in my life and Al had decided some time ago to withdraw from me. I had no plans to do anything other than enjoy the things that Woody had mentioned. I wanted to go dancing and to the movies and maybe to a theater production. I wanted to spend an evening with friends playing cards or barbecuing outside. I wanted some fun. I finally fell asleep knowing that I was going to accept Woody's invitation and that I was not going to tell Al.

The days passed quickly after that. Woody and I met after work two or three times a week and we went to different places and did different things. Woody was a perfect gentleman and we had fun. I was delighted. My days at work went by so quickly and the evenings at home were too long. I talked to Al less and less and he went deeper into his depression, but I didn't care. Things at home didn't change but I did. I started to eat less and I began to exercise more. I was more inclined to dress nicely and I bought some new clothes that emphasized my figure. I even bought some new perfume and I began to wear more feminine undergarments. While I had never been heavy, I had begun to lose some muscle tone and I was dressing down, but that all changed. I started to receive some compliments at work and my coworkers noticed the change. I attributed it to a change in lifestyle and diet and exercise. Most of them thought different but said nothing.

Things went on this way for several months as I stopped worrying about Al and paid a lot more attention to myself. Still, all was innocent until one fateful night. Woody and I had just attended a Friday night concert in the open and the evening was perfect. As we strolled toward the parking lot and Woody's car, he grabbed my hand and held it. I started to resist and then let him hold my hand as I squeezed back. He looked at me and smiled.

"Did you enjoy the concert? I loved the music and being there with you."

"It was wonderful. I can still hear the music in my mind. I will be humming for days."

He laughed and then suddenly stopped. He turned my face to him and he kissed me solidly and passionately right there in the parking lot. I let him and after a brief pause, returned his passion. I put my arms around his head and pulled his mouth to mine. As we continued to embrace, he dropped his hand down my back and pulled me tightly to his body. I felt his arousal and enjoyed the feeling. It had been so long. I ground myself against him and I could feel his moans against my mouth. We stayed that way for a few more moments and then broke apart breathlessly.

"Will you come to my place tonight? I want you so badly. Please come home with me."

I didn't have to think any more. I knew what he wanted and I wanted it too. I wanted him to take me and make love to me and to make me feel like a woman again.

"Yes, I'll come with you. I want you to take me to your bed and I want to make love to you."

He let me go and we hurried to his car. As I got in, I began to have second thoughts but only for a second. I wanted this and I needed this. Al had left me essentially alone for far too long. I wanted him but he didn't want me. Woody did and I wanted him too. I let my self relax back against the seat and when Woody reached over to my hand, I took his and held it against my breast. He looked at me with lust in his eyes and it made me warm inside. I felt again that tingling between my legs and I almost cried at the joy I felt.

Woody parked the car and took me inside his small home. He let me look around as he put the garage door down and put the keys away. He moved around checking the little things to be sure everything was ok and then took me by the hand and led me down a small hallway to the master bedroom. It was small but neat and the bathroom was just big enough for a tub with an attached shower. I didn't care what it was. I just looked at the bed and went over to it and sat down on the edge. I watched Woody as he stood there looking at me. I smiled at him and slowly unbuttoned my blouse. I opened it and slid it off my shoulders. I reached around behind my back to unhook my bra. As it loosened, I shrugged my shoulders free of the straps and let the bra fall forward to my lap. I leaned back against the bed to display my breasts to Woody proudly. I had always had nice tits. They were 36D and still proud. As he gazed at me, I stood up to unzip my skirt. I let it fall to the floor, and stepped out of it and my shoes, leaving only my white satin panties. I had worn these especially for tonight, hoping that his would happen, but I ran out of courage at that point and sat back down looking at Woody.

Woody watched me as I did my impromptu strip for him and finally realized that he was still fully dressed. He shed his clothes in slightly faster time and with less finesse than I had but the result was the same. He stood there for a second in his boxer shorts and then went back into the bathroom. I heard the water run and then he came back out and turned out the light, leaving us with only a small nightlight on the dresser beside the bed. It was bright enough to see each other.

As Woody came toward me, I reached out and took him by the hand, pulling him to me. He started to sit beside me but I stopped him. I was in my pleasure mode and I wanted to please him. I reached out my hand and pulled his boxer shorts down to his ankles. I looked up to see his cock standing straight out in front of me. That's what I wanted. I took his cock in my hand and began to stroke it up and down until I could feel it growing larger and harder. At that point, I leaned forward and took him in my mouth. He let out a loud groan as I moved my tongue around the head of his cock and used my other hand to caress his balls. I began to move my head up and down the shaft as I sucked on him, wanting only to make him happy. I had missed this so much since Al had always wanted me to do this for him. I had learned to do it well and I began to enjoy it too so I certainly knew how to make Al, I mean Woody, happy.

As I began to increase my pace with Woody's cock in my mouth, he began to become excited and I knew he was close when he put his hand behind my head and began to move his hips forcing his cock in and out of my mouth. At this point, I just allowed him to set the pace while I closed my lips around his cock and kept a slight suction. My tongue was constantly moving around the head and under the shaft, increasing the pleasure for Woody. As he began to move faster and faster, I reached around behind his hips and helped him fuck my mouth. I was enjoying this as much as he was, but he couldn't tell. It was only a matter of moments before I felt him spray his semen on the back of my throat. I let it come and waited until he was finished before swallowing. I continued to suck making sure he was clean before letting him out. Al always loved me doing this and he would often stroke my hair as I finished. I waited for this touch but it didn't come. Then I remembered that Al wasn't here.