Chapter 7: The End?

It was getting into late afternoon and we had settled down. We were lying on the dead leaves and pine straw when she spoke. "Joe, I am so sorry. I never imagined what you were really going through. I Love you, Joe! So much!"

I lifted her chin and looked her in the eyes. "I love you too, Lisa. I always have. Thank you for listening to me, today"

"That is what woman is supposed to do, take care of her man," she smiled and continued, "Speaking of which, why don't we go home and I will make you a steak the way I know you like it, how does that sound?"

I smiled at her. "It sounds like you are trying to seduce me!"

She smiled and looked at my mouth. She bent down and kissed me. You know, after Trisha and all of the cheap sluts I was with, none of them compared to Lisa. None could match the electricity I felt when she touched me. I missed that. I missed her.

"No, that will come later, I promise you that," she smiled.

We got up, brushed the pine straw off and headed back to the bike. I kissed her one more time and we got on the 'bitch' and started riding off. About half-way home she started rubbing my chest trying to turn me on. It worked! I have been wanting for three years for her to touch me like that. I revved the throttle in an effort to get her home. Get us home. Quick!

We got about two miles from her house in Holley when a truck darted across the median and plowed right into us.

The bike fell on top of me as we skidded more than 100 feet. When all was still I looked for Lisa. I spotted her wrapped around a tree.

"Oh God! NOOOOO! Lord, take my life, please. Please don't take her, God, Please!"

She had died immediately on impact. After I saw her I passed out!

I woke up in a hospital the next day and everything seemed so unreal. I had a concussion, a broken arm and severe road gash all over. The doctor said I was lucky to survive that collision myself. I asked about Lisa and he just shook his head. Tears streamed down my cheeks.

The police came in and took my statement and said that the driver of the truck had been drinking and was booked for DWI and Vehicular Manslaughter. They apologized for my loss and left. This was my fault! I was speeding. I had agreed to take her riding. I should have left for St. Louis that morning like I said I would. She was dead because I loved her! She was dead because of me.

Once the doctor knew my concussion was healing and the gashes were scabbing nicely, he discharged me and Mark took me to his house to stay for a while. We all talked and cried about losing Lisa and now I was angrier than I had ever been. Angry at myself. Angry at that drunk driver. Most of all, absolutely beside myself with anger at God!

A week later when Mark and Pam went to bed one night, I stayed up drinking a few beers. I was still very upset and tired of hurting. I got up and went to the garage. I took Marks' .38 revolver that he had been cleaning and one bullet. I walked outside to the spot that we had the party and sat down on a chair that was left there. I put the bullet in the pistol and pulled the hammer back. I looked up into the starry sky.

"You know? I thought your torments and games were over, but now I see that you won't be happy until you decide it's time to take my life. Well, I won't give you that satisfaction. I would rather be in hell than with you or on this piece of shit rock you created."

I placed the pistol in my mouth, pointed it upwards, and pulled the trigger!

Simultaneously, a lightning bolt cracked down in front of me and I was in that place in my dream, with the boulders. The man with the white hair, white robe and fireball eyes appeared out of a smoky mist. I was scared and looked in awe of this man.

"Joseph! When a man is sick, his whole body is used in healing the sick portion. If it were not so, the man would stay sick and die. When a man takes a wife they become one flesh. When one of them is hurt, it takes the love from the other to heal. A man should always love and protect his wife. Sometimes, even from herself! Be the man I created you to be, son, and put an end to this foolishness. Know this: I have never left you, and I never will! Stop her, Joseph. STOP HER NOW!"

Another lightning bolt flashed and I saw my hands over my face. My body was shaking and tingly. I pulled my hands away and noticed I was sitting on a bed.

The Restitution

I looked around the room and realized I was in the spare room in Jacksonville. I heard Lisa and Rob giggling on their way to the master bedroom. I thought about the glimpse I just had and realized that it wasn't too late. I had to try. So, I got up and opened the door. I saw the master bedroom door close and I walked over and into the room.

"What the fuck? Do you want to watch this?" Lisa snarled.

"Uh, Commander, it's time for you to leave. Your presence is no longer required," I said calmly.

"I have no doubt you want me to leave, but I didn't hear your lovely wife tell me that," Rob remarked.

"Joe, he isn't going anywhere. He is going to fuck me with your consent or we can divorce. It's up to you," Lisa stated.

"This is not going to happen!" I warned. "Commander, I said get out!"

"No! Joe, damn it! Rob, stay where you are!" She looked at me like she was having a stand off with me.

"Oh, this IS going to happen, Joe! I'm not going anywhere," he stated smugly.

"Commander, you may not have much to lose here, but I do. If you don't leave, then be prepared to die or kill me, but I am telling you, even if this is my last breath, this-is-not-happening! Please, get the fuck out!"

The Commander stared into my eyes, apparently sizing me up and then shrugged. He got up and left the room. I watched him walk down the hall and turn to look at me. He smiled and gave me a wink, and then walked out of our lives.

I turned to look at Lisa. She looked mad enough to spit nails. "So I guess you want a divorce, then, huh! Fine, I'll call a lawyer tomorrow." She tried to walk past me but I grabbed her arm and slung her to the other side of the room.

"No, baby, I don't want a divorce. We are going to work this out, right now! Two wrongs don't make a right."

"No, you just don't want me to get my revenge now. You knew my conditions, Joe!"

"Lisa, don't do this! I know what you must be feeling. But this is not the answer. I see where this road takes us. You won't like it, I promise you. Talk to me. That is how we have always gotten along. Open. Honest."

"Is that a threat? What do you mean you have seen it? You can't possibly imagine what this feels like," she snapped. She had no idea where things were going.

"Lisa, think about it. This is not going to make you feel any better. It will destroy us. I love you, Lisa. I am sorry for hurting you. I didn't have much of a choice except to get violent with a woman. It was a no win situation. You have no idea how much I hurt because I hurt you."

She started crying. "Joe, I don't know how I could get over this without some restitution. You belittled me with that... whore."

I started to tear up. I hate it when she hurts. "I know, sweetheart. I know you must feel devastated. I can imagine that you may feel like you were being replaced. That you weren't woman enough to keep your man straight. You probably feel like less of a woman because we haven't had a child yet. And you probably got this idea from that woman, Rachel, that works with you. She probably told you once a cheater, always a cheater and if you wanted to stay married to me then you need to cuckold me and drive me insane."

"What? How did you... who told you that?" She was surprised that I knew. "Rachel?" She looked furious that she was revealed.

"No, no one. I could see it. You told me she just went through a nasty divorce. She is probably hurt too. Trust your heart, Lisa."

I took her hand and placed in over my heart. "Feel my heart, Lisa. FEEL IT! Look into my eyes. Does it feel like you were replaced? Does it feel like you are not woman enough to keep me? Does it look like I don't love you? Does it look like I want to lose you? Think about it. Who knows my heart better than you? Who knows my face, or me, better than you do? I know your heart is hurting and you don't want to trust it and I know your heart is telling you not to do this. Listen to it. It has never failed you with me."