Chapter 14

Mom and Ann made some cheery comments while Nollie and I did the dishes. They left about ten-fifteen and we were alone. We undressed and hung up our clothes, then wrapped ourselves in robes. We sat on the couch with a new bottle of wine and re-hashed the evening.

After some thought, Nollie said, "Maybe he likes you better. Maybe you should try."

"Maybe you should remember he was doing most of the talking to you," I replied.

"All I want from him is his sperm," she said. "I don't love him like I love you."

"If he's going to stick his dick in you, you'd better love him a little," I laughed.

"Ok, ok, so maybe I love him a little," she agreed. "He does do things to Frankie."

"And he does things to Kitty too," I replied, "but remember what you told Sean that night when he made that crude remark about your boobs? Something about considering their feelings?"

"Oh, I love him enough to fuck him," she said, "and I don't care if he loves me."

My insecurities exploded from their hiding place and ran right out of my mouth. In a very shaky voice I asked, "You're not going to leave me, are you?"

She put her glass down and hugged me so tight I thought she'd break my ribs. "No!," she cried, "Not ever!"

We kissed and touched, then I said, "I think the baby is going to be a pretty big thing to him. He asked about child support and all, remember?"

"Mmm-hmm," she said, " but I have to treat it as a necessary thing. You and I make love. He and I - if it gets that far - will fuck."

"I don't think you're reading him very well," I said. "I think he's going to attach more importance to it than that."

I was right; she hadn't read him correctly at all. He didn't come to the Labs for days at a time, and when he did he was always in a hurry. We had coffee together a couple of times, but he never gave Nollie the chance to ask him about his decision.

The weather and the season conspired to make work very difficult. It snowed heavily on Dec 21st, and we didn't leave the hospital until after Christmas day. We showered in vacant rooms and washed our undies in the sink. The laundry took care of our uniforms and we drained a hundred pots of coffee. The two supervisors who had been able to make it in before the snow started looked at who was available, and assigned their assets accordingly.

I spent too much time in the ER as Nollie watched over the kids in Pediatrics. We were allowed to do some things we weren't licensed for because of the manpower shortage, but always under a Doctor's supervision. I found out Dr. Sims was very competent in other things besides her specialty, and a few of the others came apart under the stress. We had patients arriving via snowmobile and sled, and in one case by horse-drawn buggy.

Finally the snowplows made it through, and by virtue of having pulled several double shifts - and then some - in a row, we were given three days off. I took a hot bath and slept around the clock.

I was in my bathrobe drinking coffee when the doorbell rang. Nollie was still asleep, and I had a load of clothes in the washer. I opened the door to Dr. Stevens, standing at parade rest.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"You didn't answer your phone and I wanted to check on you," he replied.

"Come on in," I replied, and he shut the door behind him.

He pulled his hands from behind his back, handed me a dozen red roses, and said, "Here. These are for both of you."

"Where on earth did you find roses in the dead of winter?" I asked.

In a credible German accent, he replied, "I haff my vays, heheheheh."

I offered him coffee and he took off his coat and sat with me at the table. The smell of him drifted to my nose, and I was suddenly conscious of being naked under my robe. I didn't know why, but his presence affected me in a primal way. Pheromones, the insistence of the mating urge decreed by Nature, something I couldn't put a name to, but which existed as surely as the rising of the sun. I got giddy and wary all at once and my areola shrunk.

"Where's Nora?" he asked.

"Still asleep," I said, talking softly.

He lowered his voice and said, "That's ok. I want to talk to you, anyway."

"What about?" I asked. I knew, but I was being polite. I was in for a surprise.

"I've decided about the baby," he said. His eyes got a dream-like quality to them and he spoke gently. "I've thought it about it a lot, and I've talked to Emily and Ann several times."

"Did they call you?" I asked, hoping that they had not. They meant well, but interference had consequences. I knew that from experience.

"No, I called them," he said. "I asked about you, and about Nora; some personal things, and some quite basic. I didn't even know how old you were," he smiled.

I sipped my coffee and said, "Mmmm."

He continued, "I know I'm being used, or it would seem that way to an outsider. From a different viewpoint, I'm not sure. A baby, a part of me, would survive and go on if I suddenly got run over by a bus in the morning," he chuckled. "But I have conditions, similar to yours in a way, for the successful completion of Nora's little drama."

"You think she's being dramatic?" I asked.

"No, no!" he replied. "That was a poor choice of words. Let's say that Nora has a need, and we are going to do our best to fill that need, because we love her."

"Do you love her?" I asked, my heart sinking.

"No, I like her," he replied, "but I don't want her to feel as if she's using me. I would prefer she saw me as a person with needs of my own. I want to know the child, and provide as a father should. In an appropriate way, of course."

I asked, "What do you think is appropriate?"

"Food, shelter, clothing, maybe a hug or two at the right time," he said. "The knowledge that the parents care, and the child is loved." After a long moment he added, "All the things I never had in the beginning."

I refilled our cups and asked, "How do we do this? I've been wondering exactly how we would go about this, and it may well be that my preconceived notions are wrong. She wants me there, as she told you. AJ, I'm not sure I can watch you make love to her!" My eyes started tearing up, and I'm sure he saw them.

He patted my hand and said, "Please don't worry. I have an idea that may work, and let us all be more comfortable sharing bodies."

"Sharing bodies!" I laughed. "That's a strange way to say it."

He laughed with me and said, "Think of it clinically. A warm stiff appendage deposits little wiggly things into a moist environment, and they swim toward their objective. One lucky dude gets there first - or is stronger - and you have a baby."

"That's about it!" I smiled.

His face took on a serious look and he said, "First though, the three of us have to get to know one another. Do you guys like Chinese, or the Beatles?"

"Chinese food, sure,"I replied. "My Mom used to listen to the Beatles. They're ok."

"Well, we have a starting place," he said. Changing the subject, he asked, "Have you given any thought to the idea that Nollie won't catch? Or that you might have to take her place?"

"It's a little frightening," I said. "I've never gone all the way with a man."

He laughed low in his throat and said, "I haven't either!" I laughed quietly with him and he continued, "I've had a total of two girlfriends in my whole life. I've been too busy going to school and college to even date much. The only thing I can say is one of the girlfriends took pity on me, and showed me what to do. I wasn't very good at it, either time."

The feeling of being prey in a predator's presence almost overwhelmed my senses, and I took a deep breath. No, he wasn't cute or handsome. From what I'd seen of his physique, it was average. But the knowledge in his eyes, the way he held himself, the aura surrounding him; it all combined to convey a mystique that was terrifyingly seductive. Kitty began purring, an odd deep note.

He stood and pulled on his coat, then turned to me and said, "Thanks for the coffee and the talk. Tell Nora that she should expect to be seeing a lot more of me in the coming months. And you too, because you're part of this. I'll be taking the two of you out a lot, and we're going to talk. A lot of talk, and a lot of intimacy without the actual sex. For all I know, after you get to know me better, you may decide I'm not the right guy. And tell her I won't just deposit the sperm. There has to be a little more to it than that. For me, anyway."

I walked him to the door and we stood for a few seconds in the open doorway. The cold air rushed over my feet, and I shivered. He put his arms around me very gently and bent his lips to mine. I inhaled his aftershave and felt the smoothness of his cheek, and hugged him.

The kiss wasn't exactly a barn-burner, but it held an unspoken promise of things to come. And the way his fingertips lightly brushed the sides of my breasts as he stepped back gave me goose bumps.

A few hours later I relayed the entirety of the conversation to Nollie as she ate. I added my feelings and thoughts, and told her I was ready.

When I mentioned him kissing me, she said, "Maybe you ought to try first. You always cum big time when we use Little Eddie. You might have a better chance of conceiving than I would."

"I don't know," I said. "It was your idea, and you should go first. Unless you're having second thoughts?"

"No," she said. "I'm committed, but there's a chance it might be hard. Mom told me she tried for several years before I came along. It's possible I inherited that trait. Or problem, whatever you want to call it."

She thought the 'getting to know him' part was a good idea, and smiled at the thought.

We didn't visit Michelle's grave that year; we were too busy; I'm ashamed to say I forgot all about it. Nollie told me that meant the wound was healing and not to be upset.

The rotations switched again at the end of January, and we were assigned for six months to the Psych ward. The floor had a prison section as well, and we were escorted everywhere by very large orderlies. The classes were mostly reading: psychology and aberrations from the norm, and the consequences of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. We had the day shift this time, seven to three, and were usually home by four. Sunday was our scheduled day off.

As Dr. Stevens in the hospital, he was very business-like and sure of himself. At our house or in public, he was AJ, our charming companion. Nollie said he could get the best of service from the grumpiest waiters, and we ate out a lot. He liked Italian food and the hotter of the Chinese varieties. Tacos were a favorite for all of us, and we learned he liked a cold beer to wash them down.

He owned a large Chevy SUV and he took us ice-fishing one Sunday. We crowded into a little shack about ten feet square and he drilled a hole in the ice with a machine. The poles were really short, but the heater made it very comfortable. We didn't catch anything, but we had fun.

We ate at his apartment and he ate at our house. He was a very good cook and made excellent ravioli. The conversation never centered on the reason we were together, but rather memories, good and bad. He told us of his time in the orphanage before he was adopted, and his childhood afterward. We shared how we'd met, including Michelle's part in it, and Nollie told him about Patti. He shook his head, smiling and dubious at the same time.

He also admitted to being a closet nudist, walking around his apartment naked. When we said we did the same thing, he blushed. He found out about the lake and some of our good times there, and wanted to meet Eddie and Sean.