Chapter 22

Woodenly Elaine made her way up the stairs. She held the railing, steadying herself. Her legs were like jelly and she had to stop a couple of times. Despite the feeling of taking one step forward, two steps back, she was wiping her feet on the mat and sliding her key into the front door in less than a minute.

I wish I could stop thinking. Maybe I could take a nap...

Inside the apartment Elaine was somewhat surprised. Her roommates were on speed! Or at least that's how it seemed. Before Elaine stepped two feet inside the door Chelsea raced past, handing her a glass of wine. Had she been watching from the window? Unlikely.

"Thanks," Elaine said, taking it and raising her eyebrow.

Half naked in a loosely held together towel, Kendra rushed by in the opposite direction. "There's cheese and crackers on the kitchen table and the shower is all yours!"

"Um, okay," Elaine replied as Kendra disappeared into her room. "Thank you!"

What was going on?

Elaine dropped her backpack by her bedroom door and sat on the side of the bed, sipping the wine. She smiled and shook her head at the commotion outside. It was like a military exercise. Someone yelled, 'Five minutes!' which was kind of funny because Elaine was sure Kendra and Chelsea didn't have to be at work until seven.

She sighed. Everything seemed strange. Even her room looked different. She needed to rest. After placing the wineglass on her bedside table, Elaine lay on her back and relaxed. I'll just close my eyes for a minute. But as soon as she did, the thoughts that had haunted her all afternoon bubbled to the surface yet again.

I'm closing one chapter and opening another. An ending, and a new beginning. Will I be the same person after I sign my name? Or will I become someone different? I couldn't have been wrong, could I? I feel like a bomb, about to explode. Ticking... Ticking...

Elaine glanced over at the clock.

Five twenty-two P.M.

Two hours and eight minutes.

She took a shuddering breath.

Nervously Elaine sat up.

Her smiling roommates appeared in her open doorway, almost like twins in their matching uniforms. "Hiiiii!!!" they said in unison.

Elaine's hackles bristled. When her roommates worked together like this, it was rarely good news. "What's up?" she asked.

Chelsea and Kendra looked at each other and giggled. Chelsea said, "We're all done, and we're more than an hour early. Everything is ready for you. Candles, bath is drawn, oils, the lot."

Kendra piped up. "I'll iron your dress, where is it?" Incredulous, Elaine pointed to the bags by the door, next to Kendra's feet. Kendra smiled and picked them both up, quickly looking in the Victoria's Secret one and saying, "Cool," then passing it to Chelsea who also took a peek.

"Nice," Chelsea said, smiling and placing the bag back by the door. "Now, did you think of shoes?"

Elaine figured she'd wear her off-white pair. They didn't exactly match but she didn't have much choice. It would be fine. The dress went all the way to the floor. She certainly couldn't afford new shoes anyway. "Yeah, I was going to wear my off-white pumps, the open-toed ones."

"Oh, wow," said Kendra, holding Elaine's dress in front of her. "This is gorgeous."

"You can't wear off-white with this," said Chelsea, holding out the shimmering skirt and admiring it. Turning to Elaine, she asked, "You're a nine, aren't you?"

Elaine nodded, again speechless.

"Then you can borrow something of mine. C'mon, come and choose." Chelsea held out her hand and Elaine climbed to her feet, stiffly walking across her room.

Kendra folded the dress over her arm, and the three of them stood in the doorway. Elaine finally managed to form words. "This is really weird."

"Is that all you can say?" asked Chelsea, nudging Kendra.

Elaine wasn't sure what to think. "Why are you doing this?"

Kendra and Chelsea looked at each other. "She never 'gets' anything, does she?" asked Chelsea.

Kendra smiled and spoke as if Elaine wasn't even there. "She's incredibly literal, suspicious, and unfortunately very smart. If she were more of a dope she could communicate on our level."

Chelsea giggled. "You're a nut, Kendra."

"Yeah, well I still say you should have been a cheerleader."

"Whoa, whoa. What are you two talking about?" asked Elaine. The girls looked at each other, then at Elaine.

"It's a special night for you," said Kendra, shrugging.

"Yeah," agreed Chelsea.

"Huh?"

"We wanted to do something for you," said Kendra. "Look. To this day, even though we don't exactly get on, Chelsea and I have never had a problem with you. You more than pull your weight. You're even a steadying influence on us."

"She's right, you know," said Chelsea. "We've both started to look at ourselves differently because of you. Seeing you get all excited about this guy has shown me how jaded I've become. I need to get on with my life, and you've shown me that."

Kendra said, "And I need to be more honest with myself and less defensive. I ah," she hesitated and glanced at Chelsea. "I told Chelsea I'm gay."

"No way," said Elaine.

"Uh huh. She's gonna take a while getting used to the idea." She shrugged. "So am I."

"I just don't believe it really," said Chelsea. "I mean, girl, I've heard you."

"And I've heard you, squealer. Doesn't mean I connect, though. Honestly, I never have."

"Well, anyway. It doesn't bother me either way," said Chelsea. Turning to Elaine, she said, "Kendra thought it would be a problem, but there are girls on the basketball team who are gay. It's never worried me before."

Kendra was smiling now. "I never knew that. You always made fun of lesbians."

"So did you!"

"Yeah. Well... So who's gay on the ball team?"

Chelsea shook her head and laughed. "Go do some ironing. I'll tell you later."

"Awwww." Kendra giggled and winked at Elaine before taking off, yelling back, "I'll hang this on your door when I'm done."

Chelsea smiled at Elaine. "Okay, let's get those shoes, then you can have a bath."

Elaine thought luxuriating in a bubble bath with fragrant oils, while sipping wine by candlelight was about as close to heaven as she'd ever been. After twenty minutes, Chelsea even returned to top up her wine and the hot water. Elaine felt like a princess. She closed her eyes and relaxed, basking in the opportunity to shed some stress. Sometime later someone knocked softly on the bathroom door.

"Come in."

Chelsea opened it about halfway. "We're going. Everything is ready. I rang my boss and he's okay with me leaving in an emergency, okay?"

In her daze, Elaine had forgotten all about that. She couldn't believe it. "Gosh, thanks Chelsea. That's a big relief."

"Cool. So where is he taking you, anyway?"

"De chainey or something, I'm not sure how it's pronou-"

"No way!" Chelsea turned to yell down the hall. "Hey Kendra, you gotta hear this!"

"What is it?" Kendra asked breathlessly, arriving in the doorway.

Chelsea asked Elaine, "Where is he taking you again?"

"De chainey?" she replied, thinking her French was atrocious.

"That's awesome!" said Kendra.

Elaine wasn't sure what was going on. "Why?"

Chelsea was grinning. "Because it's where we work, you ninny!"

"Aw, man," said Elaine. "I better call Gary and change the venue." She winked.

"NO!" her roommates cried gleefully.

Elaine smiled and shook her head.

"Wait a minute," said Chelsea. "Can you be ready in fifteen minutes? We could take you! We still should be there by seven. We were going to be early for Kendra's first day."

"Fifteen minutes?" pondered Elaine. "I guess so. I still have forty-five minutes though, don't I?"

"Yeah, but at least you won't be late. You'd have to call a taxi now anyway, and you can't rely on a taxi, not on a night like this!"

"Besides," said Kendra. "You can wait in the car at the restaurant. You'll even see when he arrives."

"Good Lord." Elaine sighed. Points of no return seemed to be flying by. But it was probably a good idea. "Okay. Just give me a minute."

The door abruptly closed and her roommate's muffled chatter receded down the hall. Elaine climbed out of the bath, towelled off and powdered herself while it emptied. She brushed her teeth then quickly dried her hair and ran a wide-toothed comb through it. Wrapping a towel around herself, she opened the door then grabbed her wine and blew out the candles.

Kendra and Chelsea were waiting in her room.

"I called work," said Chelsea. "And just this once we can be ten minutes late. So I'll do your makeup."

"And I'll do your hair. I know how you like it," said Kendra.

"Guys, you've done enough. You don't have to," Elaine protested. "I'll be quick."

Chelsea rolled her eyes and said, "Nonsense. And make a mess of it? Tell me you're not nervous. Show me your hands."

Elaine held out her hands and was astonished to see her fingers trembling like she'd been using a jackhammer. "Um, yeah," she muttered. "Okay."

"I told you," said Chelsea. "Now put your ass in the chair." Chelsea pointed to the chair that normally had laundry piled up on it. Kendra was standing behind it; tapping it with her fingers and smiling. Elaine's laundry had been folded up in the corner. She hoped it didn't smell funny. Chelsea was behind her computer chair and the two chairs were facing each other in front of the mirror on her dresser.

They weren't taking no for an answer.

Shuffling over wrapped only in a towel, Elaine slumped in the offered chair and sighed. Chelsea sat down in front of her and started rattling off questions about what she wanted. Kendra's fingers were in her hair doing God knows what. It all became a bit of a blur. She wanted to see herself in the mirror but was side on to it. Each time she tried to look, Chelsea or Kendra would admonish her and guide her head forward again.

So instead she stared at her dress.

Her glistening, deep purple dress. She could hardly believe it was actually hers. The guy at the store was surprised it didn't need altering. 'It's like it was made for you, sweetie!'

She smiled.

She couldn't see a wrinkle in the silk. Kendra had done a fine job. Elaine's eyes kept wandering to the bodice. It was awesome with the delicate lace stitched into it in a Celtic-like design. It was subtle and pretty, and at the same time, ageless. It wasn't the kind of thing she normally had the chance to wear. She prayed it wouldn't be the last. She had thought the dress would be the one good thing that would come out of it, if it all went belly-up. But now she'd changed her mind. Now she thought it would be a reminder of her failure. She blinked away a tear before it could form. Chelsea hadn't noticed.

Elaine sighed.

If tonight is a disaster, I'll never wear it again.

What a shame that would be...

"I'm done here," said Kendra, tugging gently at the twin tendrils hanging down either side of Elaine's face.

"I'll be done with her lips in a minute," replied Chelsea.

Kendra came around from behind Elaine and leaned on the back of Chelsea's chair. She smiled and shook her head, examining Elaine's face and hair. "You look great," she whispered.

Elaine breathed hard. Her mouth was open and Chelsea was painting her lips after outlining them. Elaine hadn't even noticed what colour she had chosen. Kendra's words were encouraging, but barely enough to make Elaine smile. Without moving her head, she glanced over at the clock. It was almost seven.

SEVEN!

Oh. My. God.

"Elaine?" asked Chelsea.

"Huh?" she responded, a million miles away.

"Are you okay?"

"Um... Yeah, I guess."

"You look a bit green. And you're breathing hard."

"Do you want a glass of water?" asked Kendra.

"Yes, please. I'll be all right. Keep going."

Kendra hurried off while Chelsea finished Elaine's lips. She seemed satisfied as she held Elaine's chin and turned her face from side to side. "Perfect," she decided as Kendra returned. Elaine took the offered water and drank almost half of it before putting the glass on her dresser.

"Wow, that's better" said Kendra, standing back. "You've got your colour back. You look fantastic."

"She's stunning," said Chelsea, smiling.

Elaine's hands felt sweaty and she wiped them on the towel wrapped around her. "Can I see now?"

"Sure you can," said Chelsea. Elaine's roommates beamed at her. She took a deep breath and turned toward the mirror and for a moment, she stared.

Elaine's heart pounded in her ears. She hadn't been sure what to expect, but the vision staring back at her from the mirror certainly didn't reflect her mood. What she saw looked like something out of a magazine. Her makeup was subtle and toned to her skin. Her eyes seemed wider and intent, yet darker. The brown irises looked almost black. Combined with the thin mascara and light lash enhancer, the slightly reddish tone of the eye shadow gave Elaine a mysterious, almost Gothic look.

The corners of her mouth bent into the beginnings of a smile, revealing the hint of gleaming white teeth. Elaine noticed her lips. They were lustrous and dark red like blood. She ran the tip of her tongue across the lower one and was amazed at how full they looked. She smiled a little more, looking back up to her eyes, then to her hair.

For a few months now Elaine had kept her shoulder-length dark brown hair in a manageable 'shaggy' style, though lately she'd become a bit bored with it. Somehow Kendra had performed a miracle with it, teasing it and shaping it with just gel, a comb and a blow dryer. She'd swept most of it back, apart from two twisted tendrils that hung down either side, framing Elaine's face.

Her roommates were now standing behind Elaine, admiring their work as they all looked in the mirror. Elaine had to admit she was impressed. What they had done was perfect. Taking a deep breath, she whispered, "Thank you." She couldn't hold their gaze, despite their tender smiles. She had to try not to cry. She reached for a tissue and dabbed the corners of her eyes, just in case.

"We better go," said Chelsea softly, patting Elaine's shoulder.

"Do you need a hand with your dress?" asked Kendra.

"Um, no," replied Elaine, remembering she wasn't to wear underwear. She didn't really want to share that. She could feel herself blushing at the thought. "Just give me a minute. You guys can go warm up the car if you want."

Chelsea asked, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," answered Elaine. "I'll be fine. I'll be right down. And thanks again." Turning back to the mirror, she fixed her eyes on her reflection. "I can't believe it."

"See you downstairs then," said Chelsea, taking Kendra's arm.

"You've got five minutes," Kendra said as they hustled out.

Elaine closed her door and carefully laid the dress on her bed. Sinking to her knees, from under the bed she pulled out her overnight bag. It was mostly packed. In moments she'd added her toys and her folder and notes and two textbooks to her clothes for the weekend. Her bedroom wear was in there. She blushed. She zipped it up and tried to think of anything she might have forgotten. But there was only one thing on her mind.

No underwear.

Elaine was already squishy and hot. Thinking about going naked under a beautiful silk dress only made it worse. She just knew she was going to stain the back of it. Setting her jaw, she stood and dropped the towel. She had to check and was horrified by the slickness she encountered. I can't go like this, she thought, grabbing some tissues. Not sitting in the car all the way there! Her heart started hammering. I'll make a fool of myself! Then she had a brainstorm. She'd wear her black bikini knickers until she got there. Once her roommates had left and she was waiting for Gary, she'd slip them off and hide them in her purse.

Finding them at the bottom of the underwear drawer, she slipped them on. They were a bit tatty and tight, but Elaine didn't care. They did the job.

Gary wouldn't want me to embarrass myself. All I have to do is remember to take them off.

Stepping into the dress, Elaine fitted the bodice and zipped up the hidden zipper in the skirt. After lacing up the back, she checked that it looked okay.

She slipped on the low-heeled, black sling-backs Chelsea had let her borrow and held up the hem of the dress to admire them. They were suede and pointy and had little sparkly diamantes on them. She swirled her foot under the light and watched them glitter.

I better hurry up.

Remembering she wanted something pretty around her neck, Elaine turned around and her jaw dropped. In the reflection of her mirror, she saw someone else. Not Elaine Milanovic. Not Elaine the wannabe rebel. Not the college student with grandiose plans for changing the world. Not the standoffish half-girl, half-woman hell bent on self-control.

Here was someone different. She wasn't sure if seeing herself as someone else was good or bad. Her hands shook and she wrung them out. Maybe she wasn't someone new.

Maybe she was someone more.

She wished she had time to think. But she had to hurry.

In moments Elaine was trolling through her jewellery box, finding her gold diamond studs and matching gold necklace. Her chest rose and fell rapidly as she clicked closed the short, thin gold chain around her neck. The tiny gold heart at its centre barely hung to the notch between her collarbones.

All right, she thought, on the verge of hyperventilation.

I'm ready.

Elaine grabbed lipstick, cell phone, some tissues, money and cards, and fumbled to put them all in her little black purse. Picking up her overnight bag, she stopped to take one last look.

One way or another, she was about to learn a hell of a lot more about herself.

I'm off to see the wizard, she though strangely, feeling a hot blush creep up her cheeks.

"If he's here already, I'll open and close the curtains in that window, okay?" said Chelsea, pointing through the windscreen.

Elaine nodded from the backseat. Chelsea had parked virtually under a streetlight in the parking lot, in clear view of the front door and affording little anonymity. It was a comfortable night, neither warm nor cool; yet Elaine could feel the perspiration forming on her top lip. She'd never been more nervous in her life and her mouth felt like it was full of cotton wool.

Kendra twisted the rear view mirror toward herself, checking her hair and makeup. She could see Elaine in the corner of the mirror. Elaine looked down at her hands. "Hey," said Kendra.

Elaine looked up. "Y... Yes?"

"Wish me luck?"

"Jeez. I'm sorry. I forgot it was your first day. Good luck, I'm um... I'm sure you'll do fine."

"You're forgiven." She smiled. "I promise I won't spill anything on you."

"That would be good."

"C'mon," said Chelsea. "We better go in."

Kendra said, "Okay." Twisting back the mirror, she turned and addressed Elaine directly. "Just remember you are special. Make sure he treats you with respect."