Chapter 19

Climbing the stairs to her apartment, Elaine was tired but in a good mood. Snippets of her conversations with Leah and Gary had kept her smiling all day. It wasn't until she'd arrived on the landing outside her front door that she was jolted by the memory of her roommate's kiss.

What was that about?

Elaine wasn't sure, but she thought Kendra had kissed her because of 'stress' and 'high emotion'. Then again, maybe Kendra had always been attracted to Elaine, and her teasing sarcastic manner was a smokescreen.

Or, I'm going crazy, Elaine thought, shaking her head.

Turning the key in the door and slipping inside, immediately she realised someone was cooking something exotic. She felt her tummy rumble and her mouth water. She hadn't eaten much all day.

"Hi!" yelled her roommates, hearing the front door.

'Hi!" Elaine shouted back as she headed for her room. "I'll be there in a minute!'

The first thing Elaine had to do was get out of her clothes. Then have a shower.

When time constraints forced her to wear her work uniform to college, Elaine felt ridiculous. She was so not a preppy, but on the rare days she didn't have time to change she was regularly mistaken for one. But today it had been worth it. Today, between work and school, Elaine had tackled the necessary task of swinging by the clinic to pick up her medical report.

To her palatable relief, everything was fine. Of course. Thank God.

She wasn't sure what she would have done if the report had contained adverse findings. She wasn't even sure why she'd prepared herself for the possibility. She hadn't BEEN with anyone yet. After reading the results, she'd laughed out loud and almost broke into a skip as she'd headed back to school.

Tonight she wanted to start organising her suitcase for the weekend, and the report had to be the first thing to go in. She wanted to make sure nothing stood in her way.

Stopping just inside the door to her bedroom, Elaine was halted by the sight of a plain paper package sitting in the centre of her bed. Investigating, she was thankful nothing on the outside gave away what was within, as she was pretty sure the parcel contained the D/s books she'd ordered online. As she unwrapped the package and confirmed its contents, she mused over the fact that one of her roommates placed it on her bed, coming close to knowing much more about Elaine than she cared to admit. It didn't really make her nervous, just weird. The idea of 'hiding' her nature was a reality. Briefly she wished the world were different.

Sliding her suitcase from under her bed, Elaine put the books and the medical report inside, then zipped it up and slid it back.

Now to get changed, she thought, climbing to her feet and brushing off her knees.

Nakedly rummaging through her drawers, she sighed. Her long t-shirt style nightie, with Mickey Mouse on the front, was cute but not exactly 'steamy'. Tossing it back in the drawer, she reminded herself to shop before the weekend.

And I need some A-team underwear too, she decided, choosing the regular white hipsters that felt soft and snug, like an old friend. A bra was out. It felt too good not having one on. Eleven hours in one of the damned things left marks she could see in her reflection.

Turning sideways and holding up her arm, Elaine had a thought.

I wonder if that's what 'welts' look like?

In quick succession Elaine's nipples hardened and her pussy warmed. Turning back to the mirror and staring at the red lines around her torso, she was assailed by images of Gary as a teacher, looming over her glistening body and demonstrating how things were used and how they felt.

The picture in Elaine's mind made her gasp out loud. Bending at the waist, she held her gaze in the mirror as she crossed her legs as if needing to pee and squeezed hard. Hot flashes of pleasure rocketed across her skin.

Somehow Elaine caught herself before she went any further. Standing up straight and making fists with her hands, she clenched her teeth and shuddered with her efforts at self-control. Her pussy pulsed wetly, and a quiet, insistent voice started urging her to masturbate.

She knew she had to ignore it. She'd promised.

Somewhat desperately, she tried to recall the exact words, but couldn't think of a justifiable way to break the vow she'd made. If I want it badly enough I'll have to convince him to let me. The prospect made her swallow nervously. What if he won't allow it? I'll go crazy!

She gently cupped her pussy through her knickers and gave it a soft squeeze. She genuinely hoped it would give her relief. Alas, it was of no help whatsoever. With a sigh of resignation, she tried to get a hold of herself.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

"Wait!" squealed Elaine, stunned by the intrusion.

Chelsea's voice came through her door. "Would Madam care to be escorted to her table? Dinner is served."

"Just a minute!" Elaine managed to cry out.

"I'll wait," answered Chelsea.

Ugh, thought Elaine, a little annoyed. What's going on now?

Hurriedly she pulled open the bottom drawer of the dresser and pulled out her long, light blue angora sweater. It was a Christmas present from her parents last year and was her favourite. She'd been looking forward to the day she could wear it. Memories of how lovely it felt had grown dim with the heat of summer. Now and then she'd opened the drawer, just to run her hand over it. It was so soft.

Thinking wickedly that she'd be almost naked under it, Elaine quickly pulled the oversized sweater over her head and halfway down her thighs. Her breath caught in her chest as she ran her fingers through her hair and the sliding wool caused her nipples to thicken and tingle. A hot blush rose in her cheeks. She tried to ignore it as she pulled open her door.

Chelsea's eyes scanned Elaine as she said, "Dinner is served, Madam" She grinned, ushering Elaine ahead.

The sight of Kendra dishing up dinner made Elaine giggle. Kendra never cooked. Noticing the table was set for two, Elaine asked Chelsea if she was staying.

"I'll eat something at work," she said, winking and bending to light the candle on the table. "You two lovebirds have a nice evening at home together. If I'm lucky I'll be late, so don't wait up."

Elaine was dumbstruck by Chelsea's comment about 'lovebirds', and as soon as the front door closed she turned to Kendra and blurted, "Did you tell her you kissed me?"

Kendra chuckled. "Noooo, silly. 'Lovebirds' is just a figure of speech. I told her I wanted to do something nice for you 'cause you helped me out yesterday. That's all. She was just teasing. You know what she's like."

"Oh," said Elaine, unconvinced. "What did you tell her? I still don't know what I can and can't say."

"Don't worry about it. It'll blow over. Do you want some wine?"

"Yeah, okay." Elaine was glad for the diversion. "So what have you made? It smells delicious."

"'Thai Green Curry Chicken'. Don't worry. It comes in a packet. And Chelsea helped."

"I'm sure it'll be great."

"Thanks, Elaine. For everything."

Searching for sarcasm, Elaine was pleased she could find none. "I didn't do much."

"You cared," said Kendra, serving the dishes and sitting down. "That meant a lot to me."

"You're welcome." They shared smiles.

Dinner was delicious, and the next ten minutes were spent in silence as they enjoyed it. At last Kendra sat back, wiping her chin with a napkin. She looked at Elaine and said, "I should cook more often."

"I'll say," replied Elaine, scraping her plate clean.

"My mom's a really good cook. I should have listened when she tried to teach me."

"Spilt milk," said Elaine. She sat back and groaned, licking her lips and holding her tummy. "And anyway, I think you must have learned a few things. God. I'm so full. I couldn't eat another thing."

Kendra hopped up and started clearing the table. "I'll wash up."

"You've done enough," said Elaine, pushing out her chair.

"No. I insist. I want you to relax. Maybe I can talk to you."

"Um," said Elaine, wincing at the fact that she felt suspicious. "Okay."

"Would you like another wine?"

"I dunno. Do I need one?"

"I think so."

"Okay then."

"Coming right up."

After topping up Elaine's glass, Kendra organised the washing up but was quite clearly biting her lip as she did so. Elaine wondered what was troubling her.

"I, ah," Kendra began, concentrating on a dish in her hands. She glanced at Elaine before continuing. "I think I'm a lesbian."

Elaine rolled her eyes. "Yeah, and I'm the Pope."

Kendra looked up from her task. "I'm serious."

Sipping her wine, Elaine said, "Look, whoever you want to be is fine by me. Personally I think you like guys too much to be a lesbian. But hey, what would I know?"

"It's all an act."

Elaine still wasn't sure whether Kendra was screwing with her head. "So what makes you think you're a lesbian?" she asked.

"I want the feel and the touch of a woman. I want what only a woman can give. I've fantasised about it for years. I'm sorry I kissed you. That was pushy and I didn't mean it. It was kind of uncontrolled, you know? Like, spur of the moment."

"Uncontrolled is fine with a willing partner. But I wasn't willing. And I won't be. It isn't you I want, Kendra." Elaine could hardly believe her ears. It was the clearest and most forthright she'd managed with her roommates. She could feel herself blushing all over again.

Kendra hadn't noticed. She was in her own world. Her shoulders slumped and she sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Kendra really, choose your own path. No one is going to despise you."

"Tell that to my parents. I'm 'wasting time', according to them. They keep reminding me that college is eating away at my wedding fund, for God's sake. They think I should be on my second kid by now."

"You'd be on your third if you hadn't made some really hard decisions."

Kendra juggled some cutlery and dropped it in the sink. She sighed again and leaned on the edge. "I'm not proud of that."

"I can tell."

"I don't know why I tempted fate. Maybe I just thought if I weren't meant to be with a guy, it wouldn't happen. Biology has a mind of its own, unfortunately."

"That's for sure."

Finishing up at the sink, Kendra changed tack. "You know the other day, when I streaked down the stairs?"

"Yeah," said Elaine. "I still can't believe you were so calm."

"I wasn't. But it wasn't 'being naked in front of guys' that was freaking me out. It was 'being naked in front of girls'."

"I see," said Elaine. She actually felt like she was in unchartered territory. To her, being curious about the female form wasn't strange at all, and indeed the opposite might have been true, but it wasn't something for which she yearned either. "That explains the kiss."

"Yeah. I know you're into this guy and everything. I'm not usually so impulsive."

Elaine almost choked on her wine as she giggled. "Yeah, right."

"Oh, stop it. I am not. I'm usually pushy and diabolically underhanded. But I'm rarely impulsive." Kendra stuck out her tongue playfully.

"Look..." Elaine said, after a moment. "'What I think' isn't exactly important. What's more important is for you to be honest with yourself, and to start working towards making yourself happy."

"When I finish college, I can do that."

"You'll manage, whatever happens."

"You think so?"

"You are resourceful and prepared to take risks. I think you could do anything you set your mind to, actually. You just have to decide what it is, and make sure it's possible."

Kendra nodded slowly. Finally she said, "I was propositioned by two different girls after that night."

"No way," said Elaine, suddenly remembering the girl who had cornered her. "The same thing happened to me. I think it was the day I was practically naked..." Saying the words reminded Elaine of how she was dressed at that moment.

Kendra bit her lip. "It made me so hot seeing you go out like that. I'm bad, aren't I?"

"Yes!" Elaine cried playfully. "You were mean to me!" Another moment passed as they sipped their drinks and Elaine let Kendra decide where the conversation went. Strangely she was enjoying it.

"I wish I was as innocent as you," Kendra said.

Elaine responded with the first thing that came into her mind. "Start over."

"Huh?"

"Start all over again. You are a virgin with girls, right?"

"Not exactly. Chelsea and I, well..."

"Oh man, too much information." Elaine covered her mouth. She knew it!

"It was perfectly innocent!" giggled Kendra. "More like drunken fumbling, really. And she's totally okay with it."

"That was different to the kiss you gave me."

"Yeah." Kendra sighed again and put down her glass. Looking down at her hands, she said, "You're just so beautiful. You and Chelsea both are and I feel intimidated sometimes. I dunno. I just wanted to feel your lips on mine."

Elaine swallowed. "Taking something that isn't yours is wrong."

"I know."

"Good."

"Thanks, Elaine."

"It's okay. You're welcome."

"And any time you change your mind... You know..." Kendra winked.

"Arrrgh!" cried Elaine, laughing and tossing her napkin at her roommate.

An hour later Elaine was freshly showered and trying to work on Monday's paper with little progress. She was almost resigned to packing her textbooks for the weekend. She had to admit her efforts were less than satisfactory. She had too much on her mind. She'd have to tell Gary about it.

This is all his fault, she thought, smiling. I better not blame him though.

Reluctantly closing her work, she sat back in the chair in front of her computer and chewed a fingernail. She never chewed her nails, but she didn't know what to do with her hands. If she touched herself, even innocently, she could feel it. Scratching her thigh, touching the back of her hand... Even licking her lips felt sexual. Her heart wasn't beating faster, just harder.

Now and then she'd curl her toes and try to tense and relax the muscles in her legs. She had to do it slowly so her pussy wouldn't contract. It was very wet and she could feel her lips sliding against each other with every move she made. Keeping her legs open made her hot. Keeping them closed was maddening. Keeping them crossed drove her nuts. Sexual thoughts ran rampant through her mind, and she didn't have the willpower to distract herself.