Chapter 12

After booting up the Internet and logging on to Messenger, Elaine was notified of two new messages in her email box.

She knew one was from herself. She'd emailed a whole host of links she'd unearthed after Googling the names 'Gloria Brame' and 'Jay Wiseman' on the library's computer earlier in the day. They were the authors that had set Gary on his path. Between classes she'd had a bit of spare time and the library seemed to be the logical and safest place to go. At the time she hadn't been so sure whether it had been better to be ogled by the geeks or by the general population of the college. She'd plumped for the geeks. At least they'd been quiet about it. Thank God for libraries.

In any case, some of the quotes and extracts she'd read from the two respected authors had stuck in her mind, and during the ensuing hours, Elaine had decided that rather than following the links, she'd take the plunge and buy the books that appeared to be the most recommended. So she deleted the email.

The other email was from Gary and she held her breath as she opened it.

Elaine swallowed as she clicked the reply button and sent a 'thank you for letting me know, Sir' email. With over an hour of free time that she wasn't expecting, she was determined to use it well and not think about Nica. Opening her Amazon.com account, she ran a simple search on the authors for whom she was looking.

After purchasing SM101 — A Realistic Introduction, she couldn't help but throw in Tricks to Please a Man, both by Jay Wiseman. To these publications she added the legendary Different Loving - A Complete Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission, by William and Gloria Brame, then practically busted her monthly book allowance by also buying Come Hither — A Commonsense Guide to Kinky Sex, by Gloria Brame alone.

I hope they're delivered in plain paper, Elaine thought, smiling to herself.

It wasn't until she was trying to figure out when the books would be delivered that she realised she'd probably have to hide them. She could keep them in her closet with her toys, she supposed.

No, dammit. I'll put them with my other books. I'm not ashamed. I WON'T be ashamed.

Her diary, sitting quietly beside her computer where she'd left it, distracted her. Inside it was Nica's number. She hadn't thought about it much at all, but knowing Gary had done the prelim work with Nica was strange. There was a woman out there who would be able to tell Elaine that Gary was really who he said he was, and she was waiting for her call. Elaine knew that Simone, 'acquiescent', had said as much in the chat room, but talking on the phone to someone who actually knew Gary was a bizarre prospect.

Without thinking, she picked up her bag from beside her desk and went through it, finding her mobile.

I'll put her number in, just in case I decide to call.

Elaine could feel herself blushing while she did it. It was there now. Just a few buttons away. For a moment her phone fascinated her and she stared.

She's so close. She could tell me I was okay. She could tell me I was not just okay, but that I was on the right track. I could find out. I promised myself I'd check. How far do I want to go before I check? It's not something he can fake is it? A female voice? I have to call her...

She pressed the buttons and held the phone to her ear. It started ringing.

I can't believe I'm doing this...

"Hello? This is Nica."

"Um, hi. This is Elaine speaking, a friend of Gary's. I'm sorry to bother you at this hour but-"

"Elaine! Hello! I was not expecting your call for a few weeks yet!"

She had an accent. Puerto Rican? Elaine had no idea. "Hello, Nica. I'm pleased to meet you, over the phone at least."

"This is a very nice surprise. I did not know you would call so soon, baby!"

"I'm sorry."

"Ah, don't you worry. I feel like a big fat mother hen. If you were here in front of me, I would hug you!"

Elaine giggled. She wondered what Nica was like... She'd assumed she was a subbie like her, but maybe she was wrong. "Thank you. I'm so nervous."

"Ah, Elaine. C'mon. I'd say that's normal. Now, what would you like to know?"

Elaine's mind went momentarily blank. I should have thought this over! "Um, how long have you known Gary?" she asked, it being the only question that came to her.

"Antonio and I know Gary maybe five years now. He's a good man. He's wasting away."

Elaine bit her lip. "Can you explain that?" she asked, a little worried.

"I just mean he's so shy! I ask him, come to the Ren Fest. No he's busy. I say, come to the city with us. Oh, no. What about this and that, no he's busy. I don't know. He needs to open up again. Not be afraid of being hurt."

"I won't hurt him. I'm worried about me, not him."

"I know this, sweetie. I hear it in your voice."

Elaine smiled again. Her cheeks were starting to hurt. "He's a good man?"

"Oh yes. Fine man. He will treat you well. You will be safe with him. I must tell you something even Gary does not know."

"Yes?"

"When Leah leave... you know Leah?"

"Yes."

"When she leave, she say to me, she say, 'Nica, you tell him, is not his fault.' I never get the chance to say to him this."

"Why not?"

"Ah, this and that. We not go to the last couple of parties. Before that, Gary not come."

"So you haven't seen him in a while?"

"Oh, no. We see him last week. We buy a horse. Gary is getting a good, how you say... reputation for horses. He will do well. We stay for dinner. He can cook too." Nica laughed heartily.

Elaine sighed with relief. "So he knows what he is doing?"

"Oh, yes. I have seen him work. He is very good."

Elaine's stock of off-the-cuff questions was exhausted and she didn't know what else to say. "Thank you, Nica," was all that occurred to her.

"You welcome, baby. Nica is very impressed. Is that all?"

"I can't think of anything else to ask. I should have thought about it first but I just rang."

"Nica is glad you did. You can trust Nica to tell the truth. I promise this, Gary is a good Master, and if you can make him yours, you will not be sorry."

A tear fell down Elaine's cheek. "Thank you, Nica. Thank you so much. Maybe I'll meet you one day and we can laugh about this."

"Maybe one day. Antonio needs me, I gotta go, okay?"

"Yes, thanks again."

"You welcome. Bye-bye, baby."

"Bye, Nica."

Well, thought Elaine, still staring at her cell after disconnecting the call. That certainly wasn't Gary putting on an accent!

Wow.

Glancing at the computer, Elaine was pleased to see that Gary hadn't messaged her while she was on the phone. Checking the time, she saw it was nine thirty-eight P.M. She had to keep an eye on it in case he arrived early.

She was so anxious to play she decided to get her toys out so she'd be ready. Sitting beside them on the bed, she checked them out again to make sure they were clean and the batteries in the vibrator worked. They did, but they were a little weak. She decided to run down the old ones then change them. She grinned. It felt awesome when she put new batteries in. It was like, whoa! Lots of fun.

Licking her lips subconsciously, she remembered Gary's words. 'No playing until after we've talked'. That was the agreement. It wasn't an order. It was more like a promise. And there was never a question of Elaine breaking the promise. No matter how casually the gauntlet had been thrown down, she knew it was a gauntlet all the same. It was true that she'd only had a couple of opportunities, but she was glad she'd been able to resist. She was also glad it wasn't later in her cycle. That would have been hell.

At a mental dead-end, and with nothing left to do while waiting for Gary to arrive, Elaine's mind wandered as she sat on the edge of her bed.

What would it be like to be naked in front of someone, especially if they were fully clothed?

Kendra knew.

Maybe Chelsea was right. Maybe Kendra DID want to know what it was like. Or at least she wanted to 'know if she could do it'. Elaine couldn't have done it. Not before a crowd. Not even in her dreams had she been naked in front of a whole crowd of people.

But what about in front of Gary?

Goose bumps rose on Elaine's arms and legs as the fine hairs stood to attention. There was something about being naked in front of someone clothed... something erotic... so vulnerable and exposed. The difference between what she saw in her mind and what Kendra had done was fairly plain.

Intimacy.

Taking another look at the computer, Elaine soon found herself staring as she took hold of her t-shirt and drew it up her body and over her head. Almost mechanically she stood by her bed and undid the buttons on her skirt, letting it fall to the floor.

I want to be naked in front of him. For me, Elaine thought to herself. I won't mention it but I won't lie.

A tremble ran over her skin, electrifying enough to make her close her eyes and mentally hold on. When she opened them, she was looking down at her toys. The idea of using them, even just attaching the clamps, crossed her mind. She wanted to feel the butt plug again too, and the dildo pumping in her cunt and the vibe on her clit, and...

Fuck! she said when she glanced at the computer again, her heart leaping at the message that had popped up on the screen. Dashing over to her desk, she sat down and pulled her towel-covered chair under her ass, hardly believing she was completely naked.

If only he knew!

The message read, "Hello Elaine."

"Greetings, Sir," she typed. "I'm sorry if you were waiting. I was in a dream world."

"That's okay. It was only a moment. How was school?"

"It was all right. Um, I have a confession to make. Well not really a confession..."

"I'm listening."

Elaine proceeded to tell Gary all about the bet she and her roommates had wagered, how it had turned out, and she even shared Chelsea's theory about Kendra's exhibitionism. She'd insisted it was just a theory. And she hadn't used names. And she'd told him 'in the strictest confidence'. He listened quietly as she told him about the crowd of people who watched and how amazed she'd been.

Elaine suddenly realised she'd been talking about it for ten minutes. "Ugh, listen to me. I'm a motor mouth."

"I like listening to you."

She bit her lip and typed, "Thank you, Sir."

"Did the bet interfere with your schoolwork?"

"Um, yeah. A bit."

"Then it probably wasn't a good idea."

"No. It was a really stupid idea and I can't believe I decided to be in it. I don't know what I would have done if I'd lost."

"You'd have run the stairs."

"Probably."

"I'm sure of it."

Elaine stared at his words. "I'm glad I didn't lose."

"Me too," Gary typed. Elaine was a little lost for words, thinking about what he'd just said. As usual, Gary seemed to read her mind. "Talking hypothetically again, if we had agreed that you would participate in the bet, and you lost, then you'd definitely have been doing the stairs."

Elaine swallowed. Had she made a big mistake? Did he think less of her for doing such a silly thing? "Yes, Sir," she typed, her hands trembling. "Would we have agreed to my taking part?"

"I don't know. We would have discussed it before I let you decide. I think I would have pointed out that your schoolwork might suffer. Apart from that, I'd say it was an educational experience. Though I think you could have made the same discoveries without making a wager with your roommates."

"You mean going without panties..."

"Yes. You learned you could do it, didn't you?"

Elaine's body was tingling all over. All this talk was turning her on fiercely. "Yes. I learned I could go without panties. I learned it was incredibly distracting too."

"Which is what I would have pointed out."

"Because you want me to do well in school?"

"I want you to be who you want to be. I want you to succeed in anything you choose to do."

Elaine smiled. Gary was typing again so she sat quietly.

"Nica called me a few minutes ago."

Elaine swallowed. "That was fast."

"She promised she'd call if you did."

Elaine was unsure how to proceed. "She's wonderful. How old is she?"

"Late thirties I think. A gentleman doesn't ask," he typed, then winked.

A stony silence settled between them. Elaine wasn't sure if Gary was waiting for her or not, so she typed, "I don't know what to say."

"Well, you could say I passed. Unless I flunked."

"Oh, God. Sorry. No. I mean, yes. You passed, Sir."

"Chuckles. Thanks for telling me. I was considering strangling Nica for a moment there."

"Oh, please don't!" Elaine sent a huge grin.

"I won't. She said you sounded lovely."

"Please thank her for me."

"I will."

A more comfortable silence developed and Elaine could hear herself breathing. Her fingers started typing like they were remotely controlled. She had no idea where they were taking her. Later she thought it was fate... "I feel safer now. Knowing someone who respects you is a great comfort. Having my doubts removed is a feeling I'm not sure I'm comfortable with, but it's a big relief all the same."

"I'm glad."

"Me too."

"I bet you are. So now that you are satisfied, what changes?"

"Um, it opens the door."

"To what?"

"To a meeting."

"That's right."

Elaine hesitated. "I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"I don't know."

"Think about it."

Elaine did.

Probably her biggest fear was losing control. Not just control over herself, but control over her life. What would be expected of her? Would it be like a detention centre where there were homework demands and grade expectations and lights out times? Would he tell her what to wear or how to act? How much would she have to change and how much would she have to learn? Would she be punished if she failed?

Would she be 'coached' to please him, both in public and in private? She wasn't sure if she could do it... was she trainable? Did she want to be trained? Would he take his time and help her explore her abilities and limits?

She didn't even know what he expected of her.

What would he do? Would it be hard?

Then there was another thing. Something just as important. She was afraid of herself... afraid of her potential reactions. What if she hated D/s or didn't like Gary? Could she back out quietly and safely? What if she wasn't good at something or couldn't do something that was asked of her? Would he be forgiving?

Elaine's mind was swirling.

What if he makes fun of me? What if I can't control myself and I leave myself open to... to... anything? What if I make a fool of myself? God, she thought. What if I love it?

"I'm afraid of exposing all I am to someone," she typed, gritting her teeth and fighting to keep her knees apart. The embers of passion were burning brightly within her, stoked by a soft breeze, as if on the verge of ignition.

"The first time is the hardest. I remember being so nervous. I think being potentially Dominant and relatively gregarious went in my favour. But you won't be meeting a group of people. At first it will only be me."

"I'm still scared."

"I know. I'll take your lead on this."

"You don't know how much I appreciate you saying that."

"Sure I do. But I want you to remember, it's just a meeting that you are contemplating. One hour. Somewhere public. I expect you to have a 'call back' too."

"What's a 'call back'?"

"Someone who calls during our meeting to check on you. Make up a code. For example, let's use your mother. What's her name?"

"Angelina," said Elaine.

"Then for example, when she rings to check up on you, if you call her Angelina, then everything is fine. However, if you call her 'Angie', then, 'Something is wrong! Come and get me the hell out of here!'"

"That's a good idea."

"It's not original."

"Thank you anyway."

"Welcome. The good thing is, you don't have to admit to your 'call back' that our meeting is 'part of the lifestyle'. Having someone checking up on you is simply a good idea when meeting online friends."

"I understand. It's still 'crossing over' though..."

"Yeah, I know. I guess what I'm saying is, don't let your imagination confuse the issue. It's just a meeting. One hour. Somewhere safe. There is nothing to fear."

"I'm hearing your words, Sir. Maybe I just need to sleep on it..."

"Nods softly. Calling Nica was very brave. I'm proud of you."

Elaine's chest swelled. She sat up straighter. "Um, I've also been er, good."

"You haven't played?"

"No, Sir."

"Then I am proud of you for what you have achieved this week. You've impressed me, Elaine."

"Thank you, Sir."

"I expect you to celebrate."

Elaine swallowed. Celebrate? She wasn't sure what he meant. Did he mean by playing? Like, joyfully? She giggled. "What do you mean, Sir?" she typed, willing herself not to add a tongue poking out.

"I'm so pleased you asked," he sent, winking. "Well, if you were good, and had impressed me and made me proud, how do you think I might reward you?"

"Um, I don't know?"

"I'd reward you by giving you pleasure, Elaine. Wouldn't I?"

"I... I guess so."

"So therefore, I'd like you to give yourself pleasure, as I would."

Elaine stared at his words, her hands frozen over the keys as images paraded themselves before her eyes. She had no idea what to type. She couldn't ask, 'how'? Could she?

"Do you understand?" he asked.

"I think so," Elaine typed, hands beginning to tremble. "I can try."

"It would please me if you did."

"Then I'll definitely try."