Chapter 8

I drove home that Wednesday evening, having dropped Lucy at her house, with mixed feelings. A wild sex evening with Lucy and TJ would be just like old times, and finding a woman who actually wanted dirty, kinky sex was a rarity. But, as I thought of how I had to protect Davinia from this episode, I felt dirty. I guess that's why it's called that sort of sex. I felt like a moth, I couldn't help the feeling of being attracted to the flame of all that Saturday night promised, but I also felt it could be bad for me, not what I should be doing, not even really what I wanted to be doing. But, it's too late for that. I've set it up, and TJ deserves it.

On Thursday evening, Davinia came round and I cooked hot 'n spicy. Well at lunch time I'd found that my favourite greengrocer had just got in a stock of four different types of chillies. So I couldn't resist having an excuse to use them.

We then spent the evening planning a Champagne dinner. We had all my recipe books out, and went through them choosing recipes. It was fun, we were both crawling around on the floor, trying to find recipes that we had only read half an hour before, but which we'd already lost. By eleven o'clock the dinner was beginning to take shape, and was looking good. I promised to talk to Tim to agree a date.

I also talked to Davinia about TJ coming to stay. She really seemed pleased to be meeting an old friend on mine. She didn't seem to mind that we wouldn't have our Saturday evening date, but that she would come to lunch on both Saturday and Sunday. I covered Saturday evening as just a boy's night out, in fact she told me of a pub that she'd heard of in Sheepen that had strippers and a comic, I didn't like to tell her that I knew it well.

I met TJ at the station. I was shocked at just how he looked. He had let himself go to seed, and certainly gained more than a few pounds. His hair was showing more than the early signs of receding, and he had it cut in an old fashioned and unflattering style. But what really worried me was his unhealthy pale puffiness, I guess gained from a very unbalanced bachelor diet. I had been thinking that I hadn't seen him for about a year, now I realised that it was nearly two years.

I took him to the Black Swan for a drink, it wouldn't have been fair to join the usual TGI drink, too many faces for TJ to remember. At the pub he went down another step in my estimation, he wanted to drink lager!

I couldn't resist showing my disgust, "Since when have you drunk lager? Fucking traitor to the cause."

"Oh, I just took to it about eighteen months ago, and it slips down easily and has the same effect." I think he was genuinely surprised at my attitude.

I didn't want our first real conversation in two years to be an argument, but I thought I could pull his leg, and remind him a little of how he's obviously let thinks slip, "You look as if you've been letting too many lagers slip down. Trousers a bit tight these days?"

"OK. So you've obviously worked hard, probably half starving yourself, to keep the same waistline as you had at college. Me? I see it that thirty is going to arrive bloody soon, and it's fair to relax a bit. Gyms and stupid little lettuce leaf diets are for wimps."

"I'll rise above that." I smiled and drank some real beer.

And then he took another step downwards. He got out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, and lit himself one. I watched, "And since when have you taken up smoking? And for God's sake why?"

"Yeah, it's a bad habit. I don't really know why I started, I guess I found it nice when that bitch Gayle walked out. So that's what? Two years?"

"But you're twenty eight. How stupid can you get to start smoking at that age? It's fucking suicide."

"Piss off, Dave. So I smoke? So fucking well what?"

"Well I'll tell you now, my place is a no smoking zone. Understood?"

"Yeah! Whatever! Fucking puritan! I'll only smoke in the bedroom, I won't foul up your clean air."

"No, you won't smoke in the bedroom. You won't smoke anywhere in the flat. You'll go outside if you must." I stared at him until he dropped his eyes in defeat.

We sat and drunk in silence. This wasn't what a reunion with an old and dear friend should be like.

I broke the silence, "Gayle leaving you really broke you up, didn't it."

He looked at me, a bit sullen, and then he sort of smiled, "Yeah, well. My own silly fault really. I got a bit to friendly with one of her office friends at a company do. And she sort of found me. I hadn't got my trousers round my ankles or anything, but I would have if she'd come along later. I think it was the last straw really."

"But I thought you loved her? This was the one who was right for you, after Carol and all that."

"Well, you know. A year into a relationship, the rules sort of change. You want some variety, the same old scenery every night gets a bit boring. You should know that, you've never been bored in your life."

"But this wasn't me. You split up from Carol because you wanted a mortgage and kids, and she wasn't ready for that. Then you find Gayle and she's the one. That's what you told me, 'This time Dave, I found Miss Right' I remember you saying it. And then in a year you're screwing around on her. But, by the way she's driven you to smoking and letting yourself go a bit, I guess you regret it."

He looked up, hurt but aggressive, "What d'you mean 'letting myself go a bit' I told you, I just can't be bothered to keep as trim as I once did, that's all. I'm getting to old for all of that. It's got nothing to do with that fucking bitch."

"Why is she such a fucking bitch? Because she couldn't live with you playing around on her? I've found that most women seem to object to that sort of thing, it's one of the rules of the game."

"Well there you go then. They're all fucking bitches. It's bred into them. I thought that was your philosophy Dave. Isn't that why you've never let yourself be dragged to the altar?"

"My God, you really do sound bitter, TJ. You should watch that, it isn't a pretty way to live. And, no, I don't think all women are bitches. I used to think that however hard the guy tried, they would fail in a long term relationship. But lately, I've even begun to doubt that. I reckon they're like us in some ways, scared to get hurt; getting hurt even when we don't mean to hurt them; hurting us guys when they didn't mean to. Just trying to get it right, like us guys, and not always getting it right." I sighed.

Again we sat in silence. I was thinking about Davinia and where she fitted in my philosophy of life. TJ brought me back to the present, "So, what's this about tomorrow night, then? What you got lined up for me?" he seemed a little too keen.

"Before that, I want to talk about my girlfriend, Davinia. Now..."

"Davinia, that's a posh name. You screwing class ladies these days, then?"

"Dav is a nice girl. Now I want it clearly understood, she is off limits to you in any bloody way whatsoever. Don't even think about it. Understand?"

"Yeah. OK. But don't tell me you've gone all lovey dovey with some tart who doesn't know about the real Dave Finch."

"Well, we ain't lovey dovey as you put it. We've only been together for a couple of months, but she's a nice straightforward girl, who doesn't have any interest in any of your dirty suggestions. And, she doesn't need to know about some of the more broadminded things we got up to at university. Understand?"

"What you mean I can't tell her how we used to sandwich that bitch Carol?"

"There you go again, Carol wasn't a bitch. She had some funny ideas, but she wasn't a bitch. And, no, I don't want Dav knowing too much about Carol. I don't mind her knowing that I was a bit of a stud, but she doesn't need the details of Carol and you and me. OK?"

"OK. I can keep a secret. But what about tomorrow night?"

"Go and get another round in, and I'll tell you. Mine's the guest ale, Fugg's Summerlight I think it's called."

And he went off to buy another round. When he returned, he sat down and lit another cigarette, I watched him.

"So?"

I looked at him, and I wondered, "When was the last time you had a woman, TJ?"

"It was Gayle, so that'll tell you." he admitted.

"Not for nearly two years? Your right wrist will get RSI! But I guess it's hard to pick up women if your belly is hanging over your belt and you smell like a chimney!"

He looked at me, but didn't rise too my barb. "So what's the story?"

"Lucy is a nice girl at the tail end of a lousy marriage, with a husband that's screwing around on her up in Scotland. She wants to get out, but on her own terms. In the meantime she wants a night of real dirty sex so as to prove to herself and to him and the world in general that she can still do it and do it in a big way."

"And you've been helping her! With all of your lovey dovey talk about this Davinia, you've still got yourself a piece on the side. That's my man! I knew I could rely on you. You had me worried for a moment, but the greatest stud Maxwell College ever saw is staying true to his calling."

And that set us off reminiscing. And we were back as we should be, old friends with a lot of history. And laughing and joking and the story telling and flights of fantasy lasted us until closing time. By which time we were gently wasted.

We went off for an Indian curry, where the good humour continued, and we finished the job of getting drunk, then we went back to our beds at my place.

On the Saturday morning we weren't up very early. Eventually, I roused myself to get a glass of orange juice and some aspirin. I then had a shower and dressed. I shouted for TJ, he appeared from the spare bedroom in his boxer shorts, smoking a cigarette.

I grabbed it from his hand, "Not in this flat. Thank you."

"Fucking Nazis!" he said, but he half smiled and took it well.

After TJ was showered and dressed, I phoned Davinia and invited her round, she turned up half an hour later. When she turned up she looked gorgeous. I realised that she had made a special effort to look casual but sexy, so that I could be proud of her with my best friend. I introduced them and Davinia offered her hand, TJ used it to pull her in for a kiss on both cheeks.

"I see Dave has maintained his high standards of excellence in his taste in women. I congratulate you Dave, this one's your best ever." He smiled, and I saw that Davinia took it with good humour.

Davinia challenged him to tell her all about my previous girlfriends. I was in two minds, I fancied making a cup of decent strong coffee to chase way the remnants of my hangover, but I didn't want to leave TJ with Davinia to tell her things that I wouldn't be able to defend myself against. The coffee won, but no damage seemed to be done in my absence.

Having drunk coffee, we all piled into my car and I drove out to a country pub for lunch. It was good. We sat and chatted with me sitting next to Davinia, and my arm around her shoulder. She really was good at this, I'm sure TJ found her as easy to talk to as I did, and she rode over the few of TJ's comments that may have been seen as bad taste. But as I watched him, and listened to him, I became more aware of his bitterness to life, especially to women, and to his own lack of self-respect that had let him slip into being this unhealthy slob.

After lunch I dropped Davinia off at her parent's house, with her promising to be at my flat by twelve o'clock tomorrow. I suggested to TJ that we go round to the gym, I felt I could do with some exercise, and I could sign him in as a guest. He would have none of it, so I then parked at the bottom of River Meade, outside Tim and Beth's apartment, and took TJ on a walk along the river, with the dog walkers and young lovers.

"She seems nice, too nice for you." was TJ's comment on Davinia.

"Yes she is, and I hope not." I replied.

"You hope not what?"

"That she's too nice for me." I wanted to change the subject, "Have you ever seen Carol after your divorce?"

"No. I would have thought she would more likely come and find you, Dave"

"What? Why the hell would she do that?"

"Because you're the one she really loved." he said with real malice in his voice.

"Fucking Hell! You've got absolutely no reason to say that." I exclaimed, with genuine surprise and total innocence.

"Oh yes? I used to think it was she liked the three way sex we used to have, but I reckon that in the end it was you. That's why I invited you on that holiday in Spain, to prove it, and I did."

"You've got it all out of proportion TJ. Remember she was just a casual girlfriend of mine to start with. And then, that once, when you turned up at my room, we had that threesome, it just happened, it was one of those things. And after that, I didn't even discover she was two timing me with you for some weeks. You didn't have the decency to tell me, and she certainly didn't. I guessed she had a thing about you. I could have got very uptight about that, but I didn't. You were my best mate, and there was nothing special between myself and Carol. So, as long as she was happy to go with me once in a while, I was happy. We were students, free and easy sex was what we were meant to do. And I always made sure you knew whenever I went out with her, which is more than you ever did for me. Then other women sort of took over in my life, except for that one time after that party when she seemed almost anxious to have another threesome, and we did. And that was it. So what the hell makes you think she was still hankering for me some three years later?"

He looked at me, "You may not have cared about her, but I reckon she cared about you, I reckon she was in love with you all the time."

"Well she had a funny way of showing it, two timing me with my best mate, and then marrying you. It just doesn't make sense TJ. You've got a funny way of looking at things if you think that... After we graduated I never saw her, or if I did it was when you were there, for three years, until you arranged that weird holiday, in that villa."

"By then I was convinced she loved you, or some memory of you. That's why I invited you to Spain. It wasn't coincidence that I rented a villa with two bedrooms, so that I could suggest you come along to take advantage of the spare room."

"And that's all I thought I was doing. I thought I was going to Spain to find my own women, I didn't think you two would mind if I brought some girl back for the night, it suited me."

"So why were you so lovey dovey with her then? It was because you wanted her, I know. And she wanted you."

"I wasn't lovey dovey with her. She was an old friend, my girl friend before she even met you, and she was now married to my best mate. Of course we could talk and had our own relationship, but I made no move on her until after you said you wanted it to happen."

"No? I know what I saw. That's why I suggested it, that we recreate that relationship we all had at college, I thought we might as well have it out in the open and have some fun. I thought I could live with it, and it would be better, more honest."

"Then you should have said so. You said I was to treat Carol as if she was my woman as much as yours for the rest of the holiday. And that you wanted some threeways. Carol didn't ask for it, I didn't ask for it. Of course I took advantage, I'd known Carol for years, and she was good looking. It was there for me, why should I go and prowl the nightclubs and bars to find it when it was freely available at the villa? But I never intended it, and nor did Carol. She told me that she was only doing it because you wanted it. She didn't love me, she didn't need me. She only fucked me because she thought you wanted her to. You got it so wrong, TJ. You were wrong."

"No, I know what I saw." He sounded sullen.

"So tell me why you two broke up. What was it in that holiday, when we did what you wanted, that was so terrible it broke you up?"

"Because she loved you more than she ever loved me."

"You're wrong TJ. Carol and I never loved each other. Not at college, and not afterwards. You fucking idiot."

Just then my phone went, it was Lucy. "Yes, Lucy."

"Tonight, Dave, it's not on."

"OK, do you want to tell me why, what's changed?"

"I don't know. Pete's just phoned me, and told me he's coming home next weekend, for Easter. He said, 'make sure you're there', that's his exact words. I don't know what he's thinking, it seemed as if he thought I was going to run out on him. As if he'd care!"

"So?" I prompted her.

"Well, I just don't think it would be right, not 'til I know what's going on. Say sorry to your friend for me."

"Yes, of course I will, and you must keep me in touch, let me know what happens, Lucy. Look after yourself."

"Thanks Dave. Maybe next time, hey?"

"Maybe, we'll see." and I rang off.

I looked at TJ, "That was Lucy. Tonight's not on."

"Fuck! Fucking typical! Another bitch that winds us guys all up and then kicks us in the balls."

"Well don't worry, we can still have a good night. What do you fancy? I can take you out to some of my good haunts, and you can see what you can pick up. Or we can go up to Sheepen where there's a decent pub with a stag show. Whichever you prefer."

"What I can pick up? What's happened to you? I came up here to get laid by some woman you'd lined up. That was the deal, Dave."

"Well, I'm not in the mood. I'm happy with Davinia, and I'm not going to make my life any more complicated than it already is. But you can find someone, you never know, she may turn out to be the love of your life."

"Forget it. Let's just go to that pub."

"OK, I'll see if I can get a few of the lads to join us, it'll be more fun if we go as a crowd."

I really didn't want to be just TJ and me for the whole evening. He was bitter, angry and not the fun guy I seemed to remember. And it would be a chance to show Drew that there were no hard feelings towards him, if I invited him and a few of the others to join us.

So, later we took a taxi up to Sheepen for the evening. I started by taking TJ to a little Italian restaurant that did some of the best pizzas I knew, and did a good range of Italian beers, which I thought might interest TJ. They didn't. The rest of the evening was much as imagined, Drew and two others joined us, and it was raucous, beer swilling, loud and fun in parts. I found myself wishing that I was just back home with Davinia, cuddling her, watching television, just talking to her, and with the promise of some good sex later when we went to bed.

We stayed until closing time, when we took a taxi home. Sunday morning started much the same as Saturday, except, as far as I knew, TJ honoured my no smoking rule.

Davinia turned up on time, looking great again. I was so proud of having such a girlfriend. TJ just sat in an armchair reading the Sunday papers, which he had allowed me to go and buy but didn't need to join me in a walk to the shops. Davinia helped me in the kitchen, not that I needed a lot of help in cooking a straightforward traditional roast beef and Yorkshire pudding. Or even the apple pie to follow. But it gave us a chance to have a little kiss and a cuddle, and a few words in private.

"How's it going? You don't look too happy, Dave."

"Oh, I don't know. I guess distance has led enchantment to the view over these last few years. He's had a rough time, I guess. A broken marriage and a failed second relationship. But even then, he seems so bitter and has such a twisted view of the world."

"Poor Dave," she came and put her hands around my waist and pressed herself against me, "It must be horrid to feel that an old friendship has gone sour."

"Yes, it is. But there's not a lot I can do about it. Sorry to lumber you with him." And I kissed her.

Lunch went well, but I was a little surprised at the amount TJ was drinking. I knew he had sunk three beers before lunch, and he was the main cause that I had to open the third bottle of wine at lunch. But it was up to him.

After lunch, Davinia volunteered to clear up the kitchen, I settled into an armchair to read the paper. I felt myself slipping into that pleasant well fed, sleepy state. I don't think I actually dozed off, but I was aroused by Davinia's voice in the kitchen, "No!"

I was concerned, as I came through the kitchen door I saw that TJ had her trapped against the sink, his arms around her, trying to kiss her, he looked up as he heard me, "Come on Dave. Let's teach this bitch the pleasure of a threesome, just like the old days."

I saw that Davinia was pushing as hard against his chest with her hands, as hard as she could but she couldn't break his hold. In two steps I had him around the neck and dragged him off her, "Get off her, you fucking pervert!" And I flung him sideways with all the force I could muster.

He dragged Davinia with him for a bit and then let go of her, but such that she fell down. TJ hit the fridge as I let go of him. I bent down to help Davinia up. She was shaken, but OK. TJ was saying "What the fuck did you do that for? Dave! She's only a fucking bitch. It wouldn't hurt her to put out a bit for your best mate. What's the upset?"