Chapter 12: Sunday Night

Jenny had just finished her twenty minutes of "praise and worship" as she called her good rant at Jerry. She looked forward all week to delivering it. She was sure that she was getting through to him. She loved hearing what he said each Saturday night. It charged her batteries, but Sunday night was when she felt like she was breaching his walls.

"Tell me about Dennis."

Jenny gasped, and her hand flew to her mouth. She'd felt warm and loving and with those four words Jerry had made her feel like a small hunted animal. "Jerry, honey, don't..."

Jerry interrupted her, "That's the first time you've called me honey since I've been out. I like that. I think I need to hear about Dennis; you were dreaming about him this morning."

"You told me I couldn't call you honey... I would never dream of any of those men and certainly never about Dennis. He was the worst!" She'd shot to her feet, standing akimbo.

Jerry smiled gently, "If I told you that, I must have been insane. I've missed it, and I need to hear it. In my sleep, I'd pressed up against you. I was having a pleasant dream and you woke me saying something like, "No, Dennis." What was that all about?"

Jenny could feel her face blush, then flushed, "You were holding me and having a good dream?" She looked intently into his eyes changing her focus from one to the other. There was a long silence as she tried to read his mind. Finally, she said, "Jerry, I'll do anything you want me to do. I can't take back what I've done, but if you want me to talk about Dennis you're going to have to hold me, and promise that you won't stop holding when I'm finished. I can tell you if I was dreaming about him, it was a nightmare. I've been having a few issues myself about what I did... what was done to me up there. You or Dr. Gardner asked me if I could say that I never enjoyed what I did, and I can't say that. But I can say that those times were a tiny fraction, a very tiny fraction of the times that I hated what was being done to me, and I'll hate Dennis for the rest of my life."

Jenny was breathing hard, when Jerry got out of his recliner and moved to the couch. He patted the back and held his arm out for her. Jenny flew into him and buried her face in his chest soaking his shirt with her tears. Holding her with one arm, Jerry stroked her hair with the other, making soothing sounds to give her comfort.

When she seemed to get some control, Jerry said, "Jenny, this is what I'd like to try. I'd like you to tell me about Dennis, then I want us to take a shower together and I'm going to wash Dennis off you. All of you, every place he ever touched you, I will soap and with the suds I'll rinse him off you. Then, if you agree, I'd like to agree to use our bed. I don't want you to think that this will be the end of it, but if it works, maybe we won't have to wash all of them off you."

Jenny clung to him and, looking down at his lap, she said, "I did that, you know. Every time I got home, I washed them off. The first time I spent hours in the shower, kind of like you do now. Jerry, I love you so much, do you know how much this will hurt me if you use this in your next rant?"

Jenny held her breath; the rants had been getting shorter and sounding more pro forma than anything. She wasn't sure she would have been able to handle having them flare back to the vituperative sessions they'd been. She could hear her own breathing as she waited for him to respond. She knew just how important this juncture was. She was prepared to risk her pain, but she wanted to make sure that Jerry understood what it was going to cost her if his next rant turned vitriolic.

After a long silence, Jerry said, "Love, until this morning I couldn't absorb what you'd said about your time in the trailer being hard on you. My mother would have loved it. I know I'll never want to hear about the times you didn't hate, but if you share your pain with me, I promise that I'll never taunt you with them. It wouldn't make much sense anyway, would it?"

Jenny felt her stomach twist; she'd never talked about this with anyone. Not even Marci who was the only person she'd told what she was doing. At least she'd never given the details that she was sure that Jerry wanted her to share. She shuddered at the memory of the first time she'd danced with Dennis.

She looked up at her husband; he was back in that stone face mode that she'd never seen before he'd gone to prison. She sighed and decided to give it to him straight, with no attempt to use euphemisms. That decided she still couldn't face him while she told him what happened.

She swallowed hard and started, "I don't remember if he was my third or fourth dance the second time I was there. I just remember that I was already a bit sore in back, in my asshole. I also remember that I got to take a dinner break afterwards too so it must have been the fourth. I came out of the bathroom and when I walked into the bedroom, he was sitting on top of the sheets naked as jaybird. He scared me so bad that I almost ran back out. Dennis isn't a very tall or heavy man, but his cock is deformed. Even hard it's not even half as long as yours. Yours is the largest I've seen by the way." Jenny glanced up to see how Jerry accepted this little white lie. She couldn't read his expression and decided not to pursue it. "What it lacks in length, it more than makes up in girth. It is literally bigger around than any doorknob that I've ever seen. He's also one of the jerks that doesn't talk or do anything to make things easier. He made me crawl up between his legs and give him head. He's uncircumcised and I don't know what it is but there's always white stuff in the folds. It smells bad and it tastes worse. He's so big around that my jaw was aching within seconds of trying to get it in, and I always cut my lips on my teeth trying to keep from scrapping him.

Jenny stopped; she could almost feel the blood in her mouth that she always got when she had to dance with Dennis. She shuddered again at the painful memory. "Dennis isn't big on regular sex. I think he only used me normally a few times, and that hurt too. Most of the time he'd let it go with head. But if I got him off too quickly, or if I took too long, he would take me anally. The first time, he didn't come quickly and he had me kneel up on the bed. I thought he was going to take me doggie style but he just shoved it right into my ass. He tore me, and I had to get four stitches from Dr. Jerry. Even though I was covered in blood, he made sure he shot his wad before he let me go see the doctor. I still had to finish my shift after my break. I just didn't have to do anal again that shift. I did the next shift though; right after the stitches came out.

Jenny paused and looked up at Jerry; he had big tears running down his cheeks. He pushed her head down so she couldn't see him and she found she was staring at his lap. He wasn't hard. That made her feel good. She heard that some husbands liked to hear about what their wives did with other men, she was relieved that Jerry wasn't one of them. What she didn't know was why he was crying. He was holding her but he'd made no effort to pat her or console her in any way.

Still looking down Jenny asked, "Jerry, is that enough. Are you okay, can you forgive me?"

Jerry enveloped her in his arm, crushing her to him. It was so fast and so hard that he forced the air from her lungs. After a few seconds, Jenny had to struggle to breath. Jerry loosened his grip, but still held her tightly, rocking her back and forth as you would a baby or small child. Jenny looked up and this time, right into Jerry's tear filled eyes she saw his love for her.

"Oh, Jerry, don't cry for me. It wasn't that bad and besides if it hadn't been for me you would never have been locked..."

Jerry silenced her as his lips came down to hers in the most tender kiss she could ever remember. Their lips and their tongues seemed to generate a special balm. Or perhaps it was some other type of chemistry but Jenny was sure that as they kissed and cried together some of the poison in their relationship was being leached out of them.

After just the right amount of time, Jerry stood and held his hand out to her to help her off the couch. As Jenny looked around, the room looked brighter, and larger. Jerry led them to the bathroom, then left her to get a knife from the kitchen. Jenny had no idea what he'd wanted, but she felt very self-conscious as she began to undress. She dallied taking off either her bra or her panties until Jerry returned. She saw her face turn purple with embarrassment when Jerry took an unused bar of soap and cut it lengthwise down the middle. That was going inside her!

It only took Jerry seconds to shed his clothes. He'd told her that he'd been strip searched several times a day in prison and he had no body modesty left. Jenny was surprised as just how much trepidation she felt at what she needed to do. Jerry hadn't seen her nude since he was locked up. She had always been modest and she'd dealt with it at the trailer by adopting a 'party girl' persona. Most of the girls up there did the same. They even called it putting on their dancing face. Now, Jenny felt her hands trembling as she reached behind her to undo her bra. She unsnapped it, but she couldn't seem to make herself let go of the straps to let it fall.

Jerry reached around her and started the shower. When he looked back, she still was holding her bra on. She saw him smile at her. A gentle smile, the smile she'd fallen in love with so long ago. Humping her shoulders, she let the bra fall as she reached to slip her panties off. Never breaking eye contact, she stood and put her shoulders back so her husband could see what belonged to him, and him alone.

When Jerry's smile showed appreciation, Jenny let out the breath she hadn't been aware she'd been holding. Jerry stepped into the shower and turned so his back was to the nozzle. Jenny stepped in letting him block most of the water. She was trembling when he took her into his arms and kissed her on the top of her head. She didn't know if the trembling was caused by fear or anticipation. Jerry led her in a little shuffle dance so that they were standing sideways to the nozzle in their tub/shower. There wasn't much room, but they were pressed so closely together that they didn't use all that was available.

Turning again Jenny now had her back to the water and Jerry reached over to the shelf for her shampoo. He kissed her head again and began to wash her hair. Jenny tilted her head all the way back baring her throat as she let the warm water rinse the foam from her hair. Using his half bar of soap, Jerry began to wash her face. He was ever so gentle as he washed her make-up off. He moved to her neck and washed all around it. His fingers were so gentle and so strong. Jenny felt like they had some mental connection that allowed him to use the perfect amount of pressure as he washed her.

He then washed each of her arms; his touch in her ticklish underarms was perfect. Jenny's eyes never left her husband's. Looking deeply into first one then the other she tried to read his soul as he cleaned her body. She looked for some sign as he bypassed her breasts and then washed her stomach. He also bypassed her pubic area. It was hard for Jenny not to wonder if he saw some difference in her pubic hair. It had grown back before he was released and it looked like she remembered it after having had 'hardwood floors for eighteen months.' When Jerry bent to begin to wash her legs, Jenny was able to see his muscle ripple. 'Jerry spent a lot of time doing weights when he was gone; he looks so hard and ripped. I love the way his body feels pressed to mine now. It's even better than before.'

Jerry had her turn, while he washed her shoulders, back, and legs with the same care he'd shown on her front. He turned her to face him again, and Jenny immediately locked her eyes with him. His narrowed and Jenny searched to see if it was pain or anger, or something else worse. He took a deep breath and expelled it. His breathing picked up and Jenny felt his pain so acutely she felt tears form. Fearing he might not continue, Jenny opened her mouth and pushed her tongue out to be cleaned. She raised her eyebrows and looked as beseechingly as she could. For a second she thought the gesture might be misunderstood and draw a smile. The extra pain on his face showed that he understood exactly why she wanted her mouth cleaned. Using his bar of soap, he rubbed her tongue and then swirled it around the inside.