Chapter 4

I moved in with Andrew sixteen days after meeting him. I still can't believe it when I think about it. We boxed up my belongings in a couple of hours and that was that. I was worried about 'notice periods', and cleaning and getting my deposit back. Andrew said he would take care of it and he did. He also said I didn't have to work if I didn't want to, but I liked my job and wanted to keep it. I told him honestly I felt more secure having at least some money I made myself, rather than having him provide everything for me. And besides, I thought to myself, what if it doesn't work out? He found the whole conversation amusing but agreed. He also told me if I ever wanted to change my mind it would be fine. That made me smile.

Before long, we settled into a comfortable routine.

It was three months and four days later, and something was up. He called me at work and told me it was a special day, and he was picking up some take out for the occasion. I had no idea what he had in mind, but I was used to his spontaneity and was more than happy to go along with whatever he might have planned. As it was my night to cook and I'd had a tiring day, I was happy to have the night off.

And anyway, I didn't argue with Andrew. I learned pretty fast it wasn't worth it. I could protest something of course, but arguing wasn't smart. He wanted my opinion. He made that clear. And I usually gave it without thinking, which I wished I could change. But for some reason I just kept doing it. Probably because he said he liked it. But it always got me into more trouble, rather than less.

The phone rang the moment I stepped inside our front door. "Hello?" I asked, picking up the remote and bringing the house to life.

"Good. You're there. As I said earlier, tonight is a special night. I've laid out some things on your bed. Shower, change and make yourself beautiful for me. I'll be there in an hour."

"Yes, Sir."

"Good girl." Click.

I dashed upstairs to see what he had in store. Neatly laid on the unused bed was a long light blue silk shift, slave bell anklets, my training collar and pretty moonstone earrings. Lifting the loose material to hold in front of me, the silver threads running through it caught the light, making it shimmer and sparkle. Wow, I thought, before eagerly jumping in the shower and getting ready.

I was putting on the finishing touches when I heard him arrive home. He called up the stairs that we would eat later and to meet him in the study. I was starting to get nervous. What was going on?

The heat was already emanating from the fireplace and I could feel it against my face as I stood in the doorway and swallowed, waiting for him to notice me. When he did, his eyes lit up. He finished stoking the hearth and beckoned to me. "Come to me, pet," he said simply.

I can't remember when he started calling me 'pet'. The funny thing was, about a month earlier he had talked about the need for another name, a name for when I was good. A 'pet' name. He said he hadn't come up with one and would call me 'pet' until he did. After that, it slipped into our conversations whenever he was pleased with me, and I can't say I didn't like it. So I was pretty sure I wasn't in trouble, even though I still had no idea what was going on. The bells on my ankles tinkled as I went to him, sliding my hands into his and standing before him, gazing curiously into his eyes.

"It's time," he said, directing me to a cushion before him. His face was deadpan, giving nothing away. A sudden feeling of dread washed through me. I often worried about what I might have done wrong, or what more I could have done for him. For a split second I was afraid he was going to let me go.

One of the things I liked about Dominique was her utter inability to keep her mood from her face. As she knelt before me and I sat on the edge of my recliner, I smiled as curiosity, confusion, and finally nervousness and fear swept across her visage. She bit her lip and her cheeks coloured as she looked up at me hopefully. Keeping her in suspense no longer, I whispered, "I am very pleased with you."

The flickering flames leapt and sizzled, bathing her in an ochre glow, reflected in her eyes. She licked her lips before speaking, as if unsure of her voice. "Th... Thank you, Sir."

"The time has come to commit to each other more deeply."

"S... Sir?" she asked, her eyebrows rising.

Clasping my hands together in front of me, I continued, "I want to collar you. I want to formalise what we are to each other."

"I... I'm already happier than I ever thought possible, Sir."

I smiled down on her. She had an uncanny ability to say the most delightful things at just the right time. "It's a natural progression," I continued. "One that signifies a change towards something more permanent. Sometimes when two people find each other, they just know. They know it's right, and they know it's strong."

"Y... Yes, Sir."

"That's how I feel with you, Dominique. I feel like we are ready to walk further into the forest. Do I meet your needs? Am I all you could ask for at this time in your life?" For a split second I wondered what she would say.

"Fuck yeah. I... I mean..." She giggled.

Smiling, I ploughed on. "You do everything I ask of you. You are attentive and thoughtful and I find my desire to be the same for you undiminished. For this I am not just grateful, pet. I am convinced."

Dominique looked down at her hands and I did too. They were shaking as she whispered, "This girl is s... so happy to hear that, S... Sir."

"It is my wish for you to be mine. Is it your wish also?"

"I... This girl feels yours already, S... Sir."

I smiled softly as she raised her blue eyes to mine. "It is my wish to be known as your Master. Is it your wish also?"

She began shivering more obviously as she struggled for words. "It... It is, S... Sir."

"Turn and face the fire. I will remove your training collar." I don't know what was going through her mind at that moment. She shuffled around and sat back on her heels, straightening her back and breathing deeply. She flinched as I touched her, taking her golden shoulders in my hands and caressing across the top of them. She held her hair atop her head and I unbuckled the leather collar and slipped it off, laying it aside. "Before the fire is your jewellery box. Fetch it, and return to me."

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I hadn't even noticed it but there it was. Shaking like a leaf, I crawled over to the fire and picked up the jewellery box and crawled back, my eyes filling with tears.

"Kneel for me. Place it before you," he instructed.

"Y... Yes, Sir," I said, doing as he asked and looking up at him.

"A collar has four functions. The first is to make you easier to tether." He winked and I shivered, a smile spreading across my face. "The second is to visibly identify you as a submissive. And the third is to impress your submissiveness on you... to remind you of who you are. These things you have experienced with your training collar. I have decided your training period is now at an end."

"Wow," I whispered.

He smiled before continuing. "The fourth and final function of the collar is that it identifies you as mine. By wearing this collar, you are mine, Dominique. And you are mine until such time as we mutually agree to part company. Only in extreme circumstances would this requirement be waived, such as extreme misbehaviour or finding out I was married or something. Which I'm not, by the way." He winked again. "In accepting this collar, you accept me as your one and only dominant, the one you obey and respect, the one to whom you have given the gift of your submission."

"Y... Yes, Sir," I said, a little to eagerly.

"It is important you offer your collar to me, pet. Open the box." I did and gasped, a tear falling down my cheek. "Take it out."

Reaching inside, I picked up the heavy, white leather collar in my fingers, eyes wide. The shiny silver rings and studs sparkled in the firelight and my heart ballooned in my chest. "Oh," squeaked out of me unintentionally as I raised it to him, bowing my head.

"Thank you, pet," he whispered, accepting my offering. I rested the back of my hands on my thighs and kneeled up straight, looking down and trying not to cry. "Repeat after me, using your own words. He is Master, I am his."

"Y... You are Master, th... this girl is yours, Sir," I breathed, my voice cracking with emotion.

"He is owner, I am owned."

"You are this girl's o... owner, she is... owned by you."

"He commands, I obey."

"You command her, and this g... girl obeys."

"He is to be pleased, and I am to please"

"Y... You are to be pleased, and this girl will please you."

"Because He is Master, and I am his."

"Because you are this girl's Master, and sh... she is yours."

"Good girl," he said. "Relax, Dominique."

Raising my eyes to his, I was met by a beaming smile and I burst into tears. "Oh!"

"Shhh, it's all right," he said, gently wiping an escaping tear from my cheek. "If I knew I was going to upset you, I would have left it on your vanity," he said, grinning and shaking the collar in the air.

"This... This girl still would have cried, S... Sir."

"Master."

"Yes, Sir. I mean, M... Master. Oh!" I yelped, bursting into tears again. Andrew chuckled and slipped my new collar around my neck, leaning close as he buckled it, kissing tears from my cheeks. My whole body shuddered on a knife-edge of emotion.

"Climb into my lap, pet."

"Your lap?" I had never been asked to sit on his lap. I wanted to badly, but had never asked, and he had never offered.

"When I command, you obey, Dominique. And, as of this day, you may speak to me as you wish, unless commanded otherwise."

"N... No more 'this girl', S... Sir?"

"Not unless you want to."

"It's going to take a little getting used to, Si... I mean, Master," I said happily, rising and slipping between his legs, lowering myself and snuggling into him. He wrapped his strong arms around me and I shuddered as I exhaled, tears soaking into his shirt as I stared into the fire and fingered my new collar. God, does it get any better than this?

I was happy. With Dominique in my arms before the fire, for the first time in weeks I had a fleeting thought of Rebecca. She would be pleased.

Wherever she was, I knew she'd be smiling.

I could hardly believe twelve months had passed. Twelve whole glorious months. Don't for a minute think it was easy. It wasn't. Like any couple we had our moments. But we were different.

We dealt with problems in a different way. To some of my vanilla girlfriends, acquiescing to a male was out of the question. They just couldn't do it. They thought it was demeaning and a betrayal of their sex. To those I asked, 'Then, is deferring to a female preferable?' Invariably the answer was, 'No!' quickly followed by, 'Deferring is the problem, not the sex of those involved'. For me, this is where the waters muddied, and where I held my tongue.

Quite frankly, I thought our relationship was a 'natural fit' more than anything. Andrew was a 'doer', whereas I was what I called a 'doee'. I've always liked doing whatever everyone else wanted to do. I always wanted to do something, but if you asked me what is was, I had no idea! And Andrew had lots of ideas.

Also, Andrew really didn't like arguments. And nor did I to tell the truth. I'd rather steam silently than fly off the handle. With an argumentative past, it's quite remarkable that I'd only been chastised about seven times and punished twice. Yeah I know, I should have done better, but I thought I'd been pretty good. For me, what it came down to was 'a desire to please'. I desired to please my partner by making every day wonderful. I desired it.

I was a submissive woman and I was proud. I'd come a long way, in my estimation, and felt more in touch with who I really was than ever before. Sometimes it hurt, emotionally and physically, being me. But the highs were sometimes beyond my ability to cope. They left me gasping in pleasure and amazement.

And the surprises... God! Every day brought something new. I was completely addicted to 'play time'. That's what we called it. 'Play time'. We made love too. Sometimes gently. Sometimes frantically. But I'd get goose bumps as soon as I heard the words, 'Come on pet, it's play time.'

Subspace for me is like an oozing sweet caramel that spreads from alerted skin, filling pores with the sweetest tension and incredible pleasure. Whether it was at the end of a crop, or oh my God a flogger, or even a light paddling, it did something amazing to me, not just physically, but mentally. I touched excess. I was molten. I could be anything. Andrew had pushed my limits and introduced me to so much. I always hoped he knew how grateful I was. He meant everything to me.

He was my Master.

At least, most of the time he was. As soon as my personal life had some order, believe it or not, I started to get recognition at work. Having a financial safety net didn't hurt, but somewhere along the way I decided to simply 'get on with it', and was promoted a couple of months ago.

My job also gave me something to do, so I was glad I didn't give it up, or I would have been tearing my hair out. I was a pretty hyper person to begin with, and while I loved our home, sitting around all day with little to do and waiting for Andrew wasn't my idea of domestic bliss. As it was, his business trips took him across the country for five days every couple of months, and I climbed the walls until he returned. At least the cleaner got the week off. It wasn't like I did nothing.

He'd only been gone twenty-four hours, and I was masturbating. It's something I'm allowed to do if he's not home, unless directed otherwise. It pleased Andrew to know I wasn't neglecting my desires. It pleased me too! And I hadn't been told I wasn't allowed, so I was passing the time after a long day at work, hoping for a phone call from him, just to hear his voice. I was lying on our bed, fantasising and playing with my vibrator, when the most frustrating thing happened. There was a knock at the door! A very demanding knock...

Dominique and I had been together for almost a year and time had really flown. She had dedicated herself to my pleasure and I delighted in every moment. Well, just about every moment. There was one time when she forgot to pick me up from work when my car was in the shop. That was pretty annoying. But other than that it's been wonderful, with only the normal minor hiccups. Teaching her ways to please me and to get in touch with her submissive self were thoroughly enjoyable. Even when I reined her in, I was so pleased by her reaction I found it hard not to smile. We were at the point where simply telling her I was disappointed was enough to change her behaviour.

We were comfortable in each other's company, often discussing the finer points of play for hours after a session in the study. She still blushed beautifully. She wasn't shameless. It was more like she was constantly surprised by her own reaction to whatever I did to her, or had her do. Feeling embarrassed by her own apparent lack of control both amused and delighted me. It provided us with endless hours of fun.

And yet, there were times when I wondered whether she was falling behind in her development. Had we settled into a 'comfort zone'? I had pushed her limits. I taught her much about herself, and had diligently provided myself with a submissive best equipped to provide me with the pleasure I desired and enjoyed.

I had a responsibility to Dominique, to help her become the submissive she desired to be. On occasion, she complained that she 'thought too much' and worried about me when I was gone. She confessed she was afraid I would meet someone and be unable to control myself. At the time, she blushed, recognising immediately how silly the idea sounded. We had a big talk that night. I explained that apart from thinking this or that woman was attractive, I had barely noticed other women since I had met her. Of course, Dominique burst into tears of joy at this news. The funny thing was, it got me thinking.

And it wasn't about other women. My interest didn't lie there. I wasn't stupid. I had a wonderful woman, and I was as happy as I'd been in years.

But her remarks and her demeanour that night troubled me for some time. Not constantly. More like a pea under the mattress kind of thing. We were having such fun together it was easily forgotten until a quiet moment when it would intrude upon my thoughts. Eventually I realised what it was that was bothering me.

It was just us. We were living in a vacuum. We had our vanilla friends and our life together and that was it. I even started to get a little concerned about my own lack of development. Would I always see the desire in her eyes? I was confident we had built something strong. But if we re-entered the lifestyle as a couple, what would people think? Just how much had I taught her? How deeply did she understand herself? Was I short-changing her by keeping her to myself?

Being a dominant was hard work. One needed to be supremely confident of the choices he or she made on another's behalf, and to be prepared to follow a plan to reach a desired goal. Finding new challenges that were truly compatible with what I wanted for myself and for Dominique, meant putting my mind to work, and that was when I started making decisions.

I needed to help Dominique find her limits. I had pushed them, but I hadn't found them. I needed her to explore all kinds of feelings, to know herself and her relationship to me like the back of her hand. To know where it began and where it ended. She needed to learn to trust me. I knew she did, one on one. That wasn't my concern. It was her reaction to my being away that had made me realise it.

Her trust wasn't that strong.

I needed to show her another level, where trust was implicit and unquestionable. I was willing to go a long way with her, but how far had she come? I needed her on the same page as me. She had to be prepared to do exactly as I asked, even when it made no sense or was unpleasant for her. Unquestioningly. That was the level of trust that I wanted. And I started thinking long and hard about how to make it happen.

Eventually I came to the conclusion that I couldn't do it on my own. I needed her to question her place in my life and to find new meaning in it. I needed her to discover for herself just how much more of herself she could give. I discarded some ideas for various reasons. But I kept returning to the same one. It was somewhat risky, and I didn't want to freak her out and send her running away screaming, never to return. But then again, if she ran, just how deep were her feelings for me in the first place? My thoughts kept returning to something I had read many years ago. 'One's submissive may be subjected to all manner of things, as long as there is a reason for them.' In other words, and within clear limits, the end justifies the means.

I had to decide just how much I was going to tell her. Should I tell her everything? Or nothing and see where the cards fell. I couldn't do that. But I couldn't give the whole game away either. I didn't want her thinking I didn't trust her. I honestly didn't think that was the problem. But I did think it was the way to the solution.

With it just being the two of us, we never had occasion to talk about having other people or lovers in our lives. We were so wrapped up in each other it was never discussed. She had mentioned a couple of fantasies in passing, but I basically filed them away as being the normal fantasies of a passionate young woman, just as she had intended.

Seeing as I had pretty much dropped out of the lifestyle, Dominique had rarely met with the many friends and acquaintances I'd made over the years. I'd get the occasional phone call, and Dominique would ask how so and so was, though she had never met them. She did know Paul though. Paul and I stay in regular touch and he had met Dominique once at a mixer. He was a very good and solid friend. We had one of those friendships that goes way back, and I confided my plan to him. He made a few minor adjustments and it was agreed. The end justified the means. Now, if Dominique did as she had been taught to do, we could move on. Deeper. Together.

Before I left on my regular visit to the west coast office, I told Dominique Paul would be checking in on her, and that while he was here, she was to do as he said. I didn't make it into a big deal, and she happily agreed. She liked Paul and had no fear of him. I think she pretty much forgot about it, imagining it would be a coffee and a chat type of situation.

Throwing a robe around myself, I wondered who might be at the door at this hour. I hoped it was Andrew, but dismissed the thought as he would have let himself in. Just in case, I ran my fingers through my hair in the hallway mirror before opening the big front door.

There stood Paul. I didn't know he was coming 'unannounced' and was completely surprised. He looked at me intently, his eyes running slowly up and down the length of my body. I felt terribly under-dressed and vulnerable and instantly wished I had changed or thrown on something more substantial. I went to speak and he held up his hand to stop me. "Andrew asked me to check on you and make sure you weren't getting up to no good," he said, giving me a wink.

I smiled and nodded, stepping back and opening the door for him. He just stood there. "Um, please come in, Sir," I said quickly.

"Thank you, Dominique. I will."

I'm alone with a different dominant. What a strange feeling. In an instant I was completely off balance. I could feel how wet I was and had the bizarre thought that Paul knew I'd been masturbating. Of course, that made me blush even more, even though it was preposterous. It didn't help that he was ruggedly handsome. He walked straight into the sunken lounge room and flopped on the leather sofa. I stopped at the top of the two steps, holding my robe together. The situation felt totally weird and once again I was wondering what was going on.

"May I get you anything, Sir? A... A drink or a coffee?"

"Scotch on the rocks please, Dominique. And make yourself a drink too."

"Yes, Sir." I don't really like scotch so I made myself a vodka and orange. Returning with the drinks on a pretty silver tray, I held it out in front of him and smiled. As he looked up at me from his place on the couch, his eyes narrowed and a wash of anticipation raced over my skin.

I've known Paul a long time. We talk on the phone regularly, exchanging ideas and keeping abreast of any news. I trust him and he trusts me. "Paul, it's Andrew."

"Hey, Andrew! How's things?"

"Great, buddy. Listen, you remember what we were talking about the other day?"

"Yeah, how could I forget?"

"Let's do it."

"Okay, if you're sure."

"I'm sure."

Paul didn't look pleased. "Andrew called me today and asked me to drop in on you and make sure you weren't slipping in his absence. I can't say I'm impressed."

"But-"

"Get on your knees and serve me properly."

On my knees? I swallowed wondering if he was taking advantage of me. Paul had never spoken to me like that before, but Andrew was always here. Is this right? Is this what happens when he's not around? As gracefully as I could, I slipped to my knees, keeping them tightly together and bowing my head, offering the tray to Paul. On the inside I was going crazy. I wanted to ask if I could go change, but it didn't seem right. Maybe he wouldn't be staying?

"Yes, Sir. Sorry, Sir." By now I was on autopilot.

"Better," he said, taking his glass. "Now, relax and enjoy your drink."

"Thank you, Sir." I sat back on my heels and placed the tray beside me. Pulling my robe together and holding it, I picked up my glass and sipped at the strong vodka. Andrew told me Paul might be dropping in, but I wasn't expecting this. What's going on? Is Paul allowed to treat me like this? Or... or... gosh what IS he allowed to do to me?

"Are you alright Dominique?"

"Yes Sir," I said, unconvincingly. "I... I've just been busy doing um, housework this evening and I'm a little tired." I blushed as Paul's gaze intensified. He knew I lied straight away.

"Don't lie to me," he said evenly. "What have you been doing? I see you dressed in a robe with clearly nothing underneath. Why are you so nervous? Is there someone else here?"

I was completely taken aback. I thought he was going to accuse me of masturbating, not cheating on my Master. God! "Anyone else! Sir, there is no way I would-"

"Answer me!"

"I... I'm alone, Sir. I... I promise. I was um, masturbating when you arrived. That's why I'm not properly dressed." I burnt with shame at my admission. What possessed me to confess to him? He wasn't my Master! Gathering some composure, I kneeled up straight and pushed my shoulders back, trying desperately to keep control. "Sir, I am very pleased you looked in on me, and as you can see I am perfectly fine on my own. But thank you for dropping by."

"Are you trying to get rid of me, Dominique?"

"Um, no, Sir. I just meant if you were busy or if you had somewhere else..."

As I was talking, I looked up and saw my words were not having their desired effect. His chiselled features seemed to harden further as I spoke, and my words died a lonely death. It was silent for a long moment before Paul spoke again. "Do you expect me to report 'all is well' when you have greeted me at the door half dressed, chose to offer me a drink in a manner unbecoming, and you lied and became evasive when questioned?" I gasped, my hand covering my mouth. Now I was really ashamed. God, Andrew will be so annoyed. "Stop hesitating!"

"N... No, Sir. I wouldn't expect a good report, Sir." More silence.

"Well, Dominique, I propose we ensure that you are properly disciplined right now, to ensure some continuity for you while Andrew is out of town." I gulped. He didn't mean... "Where is your paddle, Dominique?"

"Um, p... paddle Sir?" I blurted. "You don't actually intend to paddle me without Andrew being present, do you? I mean... I don't know if..."

"Dominique."

"Y... Yes, Sir?"

"If Andrew was present, I doubt it would be me paddling you. When I said Andrew called me to look in on you, I assure you he also gave me very clear instructions as to how to deal with. He has given me free reign, Dominique, completely free reign. Perhaps you would like to call him and question him yourself?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.

I knew Paul was one of Andrew's best friends and I'd been warned he was coming over and that I was to do as I was told. Andrew would be angry if I called, wouldn't he? I had to trust Paul, didn't I? Besides, if I was good, maybe I could defuse the situation. Holding my shaking hands still, I smiled as sweetly as I could and said, "Sir, I am very sorry for doubting you. I promise I will not question you or hesitate again, if it is my Master's wish."

"Very good Dominique, I am pleased to hear that. Now where is that fucking paddle?"

"It's time to broaden Dominique's horizons," I said down the line.

"Like we discussed," Paul responded.

"Yeah. I'm over on the west coast for two more days. You can let her know I'll be coming home early and tell her to pack our bags for Dean's. She's heard of the place."

"Man, you don't muck around. Okay, I'll visit her tomorrow night. Call me if you have second thoughts, okay?"

"You know me, Paul. I've made my decision."

"I hope this goes how you planned."

"I'm about ninety percent sure it will."

"Let's go over my part again."

Woodenly I got up and walked over to the sideboard and opened it. I couldn't believe it when I took out the paddle and stared at it in my hands. No one but Andrew had ever paddled me, or spanked me, or anything! How would I react? All I knew was that I didn't want to displease my Master. But I hoped my Master wasn't testing me. What if he knew how I reacted? Would he be pleased?

I looked at Paul and wondered what it would be like, to be punished by him. He beckoned to me and smiled that boyish smile of his. Until that moment I hadn't realised there were tears flowing down my cheeks. Quickly brushing them away with the back of my hand, I trudged back over to Paul. I was so confused. Am I thinking too much? Or not enough?

Kneeling before him, I offered him the paddle. I was starting to feel woozy. Maybe it was the alcohol, but I knew better. Lately I've enjoyed being punished. Not the actual punishment itself, but the adrenaline release afterwards, the high and the thought that everything was perfect again... Even the anticipation, the nerves and the idea that I am about to be released from guilt, that I'll be his good girl again... God, I hated disappointing Andrew... But oh, I just swooned with pleasure even as he corrected me... And it was never that bad. But what would this be like? My blush was racing up my neck and coursing across my cheeks.