Chapter 2

LaTasia Marie Jones

We've been driving around for a good hour before we even made it close to wherever we were going. He had stopped to get some McDonald's talking about 'It's gonna be a long ride.' I figured that but I really wanted to know where we were going. I just sighed and looked at the window. It's been so boring at the crib since Tamer came up missing. Who would have thought that that crazy ass gay niggh would come up missing like that? He always told me what was going down with him... I guess he was keeping something from me after all. He's the one who came to my rescue when I lost Jerin and found out I was pregnant by his cousin. We had been cool before that but after that night we've been as tight as ever, we even moved in a nice lil loft together that his daddy owned. I missed that boy so much, who was gonna tell me everything was gonna be all right when my world turns upside down... just like my stomach is doing now? All this thinking made me remember what Jerin had said earlier.

"Jerin you're a fuck'n asshole you know that right?"

"Why you say that?"

"Cause you used me because your girl wasn't giving you none and then just bluntly told me that that's why you came to see me. That's fuck'd up. And you know after this, whenever you leave I guess it's better that I not see you again. Shit Jerin! Do you know how hard it was for me to get over you?!"

"Well That's What You Get For Sleepin' With My Damn Cousin, Tasia! Shit! You fuck'd up not me! So don't be here getting all loud with me because I came to you for sex, shit I coulda went to anyone but I didn't. I know you're the only one that could give me what I need, the only one who could get my mind off of all this shit and make me feel right. Damn even after all these years when I slept with you last night it felt perfect, like nothing changed, like I still love you and sometimes I'm scared that I still do." He glanced over at me then back at the road not saying anything else.

Tears were flooding my eyes but they weren't falling. I know I did wrong and Lord knows how long I had to deal with what I did and how I had just got over it not so long ago. I turned my head back towards the window and stared out of it. Everything he said he supposedly felt last night, I felt it too. I don't blame him for being upset with me, but how would he feel if it was he. Has he ever tried to put himself in my shoes? I know I've put myself in his and that only made me feel worst.

We stayed quiet for the rest of the ride then my stomach started doing flips while my heart pounded.

"No, no, no. Take me back home. I don't want to be here." I said with nothing but nervousness and quiver in my voice.

He smiled at me and grabbed my hand. "You need to face your problems baby not run from them." He then kissed the side of my mouth. "Now come on."

I looked at him then back at all the cars and people. This is the last place on earth I wanted to be... at his family reunion. How did it just click to me that the family reunion was going on around this time as it always does? I shook my head. I couldn't do it, I just couldn't. I buried my face in my hands.

"Baby come on and get out the car." He said with my door open, holding his hand out for me.

I looked at his hand. It's times like this when Tamer would be here to help me confront this. Thinking of him I sucked it all up and got out the car. I didn't take his hand because that would make it seem like we got back together. We walked towards the lil picnic and my eyes immediately caught everyone's attention. I heard a couple gasps and shocked-like expressions. I didn't pay too much attention to them. Jerin grabbed my hand and pulled me into his arms. We walked across to a little crowd and greeted some of his family. I hadn't met all of them before but for the most part I knew almost everybody and I knew for a fact that everybody has heard of me.

We had been there for almost two hours when someone attached himself or herself to my leg. I looked down and my smile grew.

"Hey baby!"

"Mommy, daddy took me to the the uh... the uh... Where did he take me again?"

"Boy you know where I took you." A very familiar voice spoke.

Junior laughed. "Daddy took me to see my sister and then and then he he took us to uh... to the biggg wheel."

"The big wheel huh?" I said smiling down at my son.

He nodded and put his hands in the air for me to pick him up. I did.

"So you ain't gon say hi to me?"

I sighed. "Hey Anthony."

He smiled. "I didn't know you was coming cause then I would give you a ride when I came to pick up A.J."

"First off I didn't even know I was coming here... this is just where I ended up. Secondly, uh sorry that's a no-no. Why would I have ridden with you even if I did know I was gonna end up here any way? So I could watch you and your wife be happy family with my son? I mean I'm glad she treats him like her own but he's my son. Now personally I think we should put this topic to an end especially with Junior around."

"We gon talk about this later tho. We have too."

"O-kay." I said not too much caring if we did or didn't. I'm just glad the friendship between Jerin and me is becoming again. I walked away from Anthony looking for Jerin. I really didn't feel like drama today, well now that I was in a feel good mood.

I held onto my son as I stood by Jerin who was talking to his brother about his new life with Kalina. Ugh.

"Momma I'm hungry." Junior said pouting his bottom lip out.

"Yeah me too but you lil man just got done eatin."

"Well like, like, like, like uh like, like. Ugh."

"Like what?"

"You always told me that that I was my da-da-daddy's child."

I giggled. "That don't mean anything you still just ate."

"Well I want some candy."

"No, J. You ain't getting any candy."

"Yesh I am." He said sounding like he was about to cry.

Just then Jerin took him from me and gave him a lollipop he had in his pocket. Junior looked at me and stuck out his tongue then adjusted himself on Jerin's arms. His eyes got big as he was doing this... just like his daddy. I stuck my tongue out right back at him then popped Jerin upside his head.

"Don't baby him cause then he going to be looking for to do the same when you gone. And J you know you can't always get what you want." I looked at Jerin then back at Jr.

"Who said I was leaving? And you better give him what he wants or else you gon have to deal with me."

"Ha and who are you?" I rolled my eyes at him playfully. He grabbed me by my waist and pulled me into his free arm.

"This would make a cute picture huh?" He asked one of his cousins.

"Yeah I'm gonna have to cop one of those and make copies and be like 'Oh this a cute picture huh?' and then they gon be like 'Yeaaa you need to make me a copy of that.' But see I'ma be like 'I already got you cover'd.'"

I laughed this boy was a trip. Someone had called him so he left Jerin and I.

"Daddy give me some more some more candy."

This time my eyes got big. Did he just seriously call him his daddy?

"Junior! He's not your..."

"What kind of candy you want?" Jerin said cutting me of with a big ass grin on his face.

"Uhhh chocolate!"

"No!" I screamed out.

Jerin looked at me. "Daddy don't got no chocolate but I got some bubble gum."

"Oooooo yay! Give give me dat."

Jerin dug in his pocket and gave him the bubble gum. Chocolate was one thing he just couldn't have because it has the same affect on him as it does on me... it turns me into a mean person and I do not know why.

Everything Jerin did from our little moment in the car on had been nothing but sweet. I wonder what he was up to. I had got me something to eat at the last minute. Junior was somewhere with his "Daddy J" as he called him while Anthony was sitting next to me eating.

"So what you been up to all this time?"

"Nothing. School, Junior, work, and dealing with some shit."

"Oh. What school you go to?"

"I don't go to any school at the moment. I'm trying to get back into Prairie View and find me a place in Houston."

"Aww you tryna get closer to me."

"No. I just don't want my son out here anymore. Too many things done happened and all those want to be thugs are really turning into thugs and I just don't want my son caught up in that. Plus I'll be closer to my family since they all wanted to move." I sighed. "I just don't know what to do with the place, it doesn't even belong to me. I thought Tamer would come back any day now, but he hasn't and the thought of still living there only makes things worst. Why would some one do such a thing?"

Anthony braced me like I had been crying all day long. Through everything he at least stayed loyal to me as a friend. I really did miss Tamer...

"Girl you need to stop cryin' ova that niggh. If his punk bitch ass really wanted you then he would've tried to make things work no matter how mad or upset he was."

"But look at what I did, T! I'm laying up here now with a big ass belly carrying his cousin's child, not his."

"Blah Blah Blah. You need to quit with all that."

"No! You don't understand. This is not the only time this happened."

"Uh girl I knowww that and stop tryna get loud with me."

I rolled my eyes. "Nooo. I talking about after everything happened. Me and Anthony used protection that one night when I supposedly got pregnant, but the thing is I was already pregnant to begin with and that baby belonged to Jerin, not Anthony."

I looked at T, who had the throw pillow covering his mouth with a shocked expression. I couldn't do nothing but laugh at how all that eye shadow made his eyes seem bigger then they were now.

"You Slut Puppy You! See I knew there was more to the story, chile spill it." He waited with excitement in his eyes for me to tell the rest.

I smiled quickly then got serious, looking down at the floor.

"I told you that Jerin walked in on us when all of that was going on, right? Well he got pissed at the hospital that one night when the doctor said the words baby and pregnant. He didn't even stay to listen to the rest he just ran off, packed his shit and left. The baby was already in danger so all the stress didn't help and I lost the baby." A couple tears fell down my face and T quickly went to dry them.

I continued. "A few nights after I finally got myself together with the help of you of course, Anthony had came over to my old place. We didn't even speak he just sexed my body like it belonged to him and he didn't want to do anything to mess up what was his. He took his time and made sure that I felt nothing but pure pleasure so my worries wouldn't worry me at that moment in time. I had never had a man treat my body like that; he even did the unthinkable, for him anyway. Jerin and I hadn't gotten around to that oral thing because we wanted to take things slow just in case something happened between us and one of us got in too deep. That night we didn't use protection and I know he had to have came in me at least three or four times as a result... I got pregnant by him this time." I looked at T, who stared at me blankly.

"Aww honey it's okay at least you got some hellafied sex out of it." He held me in his arms stroking my back and smiled down at me.

I giggled and smiled back. "T, I never meant for all that to happen... again. I never told anybody about that second night, I never told Jerin or Anthony about my first child or how I had lost her, and I never told anybody much of anything after that. I was supposed to have my little girl right now with my husband. We're supposed to be working on our second child now, but instead I'm having a lil boy with his cousin, who by the way doesn't know still. I'm so glad you're here T. I don't know what I would do without you. I haven't told anybody anything only you and you give me the support I need in return. I don't know how I'll ever repay you."

"Girl stop you gon make me mess up my makeup. Oooo chile let me cancel this date right quick so I can be here with my sista." He picked up the phone.

"No. Go ahead and go."

"Nawww. You my girl and we as tight as ever and he'll understand, especially if he wants to see me again. Plus you gotta go tell this boy about his baby he deserves to know even if he hasn't been around since that supposed second night between yall two." His smile made assurance that he wasn't going anywhere that night or any night until I was over this and happy again...

I snapped back to reality I heard Anthony yelling.

"Jaylennnnnn!!" He spoke into his cell phone.

My head quickly snapped in his direction. "Who the fuck is Jaylen?!"

"My cousin." He said as if I was supposed to know that. "... And she said don't worry who the fuck she is."

"Ugh." I rolled my eyes at him and looked at my watched. "N-E-Waayys. I'm finna go find my baby."

"Who Jerin?"

"Uh ha, ha, ha no. I'm a single female and I likes it that way thank you." I turned and walked away from him not too much trying to make my walk sexy, but that's how I walk when in heels. I just added a lil extra to it.

"Tasia!" I heard a voice call out.

I looked at the female coming up to me. It was Anthony's mother.

"Heyy." I spoke as she embraced me. She had been like a mother to me ever since I told her Ev-er-y thing that happened, before I would probably best describe her as a bitch, but I'd hold my tongue.

"How you been?"

"Good I guess. Jerin came over last night and things got a little crazy, but we worked through that."

"Hold on did you just say Jerin? Now what on earth was he doing over there? And why did you let him in you?"

I sighed. "Yea. Kalina wasn't givin' him none so he came to me and I truly don't know. You know I haven't been myself lately. I've been thinking about moving back to Houston to get myself back on track."

"I told you that you needed to do that a long time ago. You know that this ain't no place to raise that child, Tasia. What you need to do is find you a man that's gonna take care of you and Junior, some one who wants to settle down with you. Instead of chasing after these knuckleheaded boys and waiting for one of them to come back around. All they gon do is use you because they know you will allow them to. I bet you by the end of today Anthony is gonna be trying to get in bed with you and because you're so venerable right now you'll let him." She looked at me and took a sip of her drink. "Honey I'm just telling you like it is. One day you going to wake up and realize how much time you done wasted over Jerin and Anthony when you should have been trying to make a good stable life and family for your son. I know you trying to make better of both yall lives and I see that and support you, but now it's time to find you a man that you can actually see yourself with in the future." She hugged me. "Now I'ma go, I'll see you tomorrow and think about what I said. Okay, Tasia?"

I nodded and smiled. "Okay."

She walked away from me. I hated how everything she said was true and I had already made it my plans to find that stable family for my son and me. Now I know it's not gonna be a perfect family, no family is, but we can sure try.

Anthony had come to find me and ask if I'd watch his little girl and Junior while him and his wife went out. I knew he wasn't gonna try to get me in bed because he's married and not really the cheating type. I'm not saying that he wouldn't just that it's a rare thing for him. Now Jerin on the other, he'd try to get me in bed.

It was no sooner then my thoughts had left that he had came up trying to talk all sweet in my ear. He knows that whispering shit gets to me, that's why I can't listen to that new Ying Yang Twins song for nothing. I pushed him away from me and told him that I was keeping my son and Ant's daughter for the night. So by the time night had completely came around Jerin, Junior, Anthony's daughter Aryanna, and me were all up the hotel room I got separately from Jerin's.

"Nigga sit cho lil ass down!" Jerin yelled at Junior, who had just poured ice cream all over his sister and was jumping up and down asking for some candy.

I couldn't do nothing but laugh. "I told you not to give him that candy. You should've listened to me."

"Man Shut up Tasia, damn."

I started laughing even more when both of them jumped on his back with their ice cream covered bodies.

"Oh you think this funny huh?" I nodded my head still laughing. His face looked sticky as hell.

He took the jump rope the kids had on the floor and popped me on my legs with it. I still laughed trying to get him to stop as he continuously popped me every time I told him to stop. I finally had got him to settle down and when he turned around I had jumped on his back. We all continued to play like this for another good hour or two.

After giving Jr. and lil A. a bath and getting them dress, they fell asleep almost instantly. Instead of putting the two beds together like I always do, I let the children sleep in one while I'd sleep in the other. Jerin was lying in my bed with me since we decided to watch a movie and neither one of us were sleepy quite yet. He was stroking his hand up and down my stomach and resting his head on mines.

"Damn just think Tasia, that coulda been us." He said referring to Lil A and Junior.

I sighed. "You just don't know how close we were to that being us."

"What you mean?" "It's better left unsaid"

"Naww. No. You already brought it up. What Junior mines or something?"

"No Jerin. Shit I wish he was, but like I said it's better left unsaid."

"It's been two years LaTasia, damn." He spoke kind of loudly. "If there's something I need to know then tell me, I can't do nothing about it now."

"No. Jerin because you'll do the same thing you did at the hospital that night."

"What you talking about?" He said actin' stupid, like he didn't know what he did that night.

"That night at the hospital when I had passed out and the doctors called you in the room and was trying to tell you that I was five months pregnant and the baby was in danger and how they had to run more test to make sure that our lil girl was gonna be alright. Wait I remember you ran out before they could finish telling you all that." Tears started to form in my eyes. "I had a freakin' panic attack when I found out you was nowhere to be found and you know what ended up happening? Huh? I lost my got damn baby, Jerin. Our baby. I was pregnant before that shit with Anthony happened, I just didn't know until the following week that I was three months along going on four. I had no one there to comfort me through it because I didn't tell anyone. I mean you were gone and Anthony had his own shit to deal with."

Jerin didn't say anything to me he just held me until I got up and left for the bathroom. It wasn't long that he had followed me and found me sitting on the counter crying my eyes out. He lifted my head up with his finger and looked me deep into my eyes slowly moving his face towards mines. As our lips entwined a quiver went down my spine. He let his tongue slip into my mouth as he rubbed his hand over my precious baby. I could feel contraction in my thighs signaling my arousing. His kisses moved on down my neck sucking and licking all over it, all while he slid off my bottoms. He dropped to his knees and grabbed my thighs pulling my body closer to the edge of the counter. Lightly he bit, sucked, and licked my inner thighs inch by inch until he came face to face with my freshly shaven baby. His eyes connected with mines before he parted my baby's lips and slipped his tongue between them. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back taking in the feeling of his thick, long, warm tongue pressing deep into me as far as it could go and boyy it could go deeeepp. My hands trailed down my thighs trying my best not to interrupt his work. I bit my lip while letting out a small moan. Maybe I was wrong for comparing the two cousins' tongue tricks, but got damn this man is talented. That's when he did it he bit my clit, after that my mind went blank and I came in heavy loads. He licked up every drop too. Finally regaining my breath from trying to stay quiet while I was cumming. He had made his way up to my neck again then to my ear.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He spoke in a sexy whisper.

I could smell my essence on his tongue. I then let out a deep breath. "I couldn't and even if I wanted to you wasn't picking up the phone or answering your door."

"I'm sorry baby." He kissed my cheek then looked deeply into my eyes. There were a couple tears in his eyes getting ready to fall. I felt his embrace once again and it felt wonderful.