Chapter 4

The festival was over. I went back to Ottawa, but Tori was staying on at the Centre for the Arts for another month. After that, she'd take on her new job as second oboe and English horn in the Kitchener-Waterloo Symphony. She promised to call and to visit me in Ottawa as soon as she could.

I went back to work. Everything seemed to be going all right, until my producer Joe Dudich called me at home one morning about a week after I got back.

"Pat, have you seen the new issue of Frank magazine?"

"No, can't say that I have. Why?"

"Because your fucking picture is on the cover, that's why! Get a copy and see me as soon as you get to the office."

Frank was a scandal sheet published in Ottawa and read fairly widely accross the country. They always had juicy tidbits on celebrities. About half the time, their articles had a grain of truth. That was enough to keep their circulation healthy. I picked up a copy of Frank on the way to work. There on the cover was a cleverly faked composite photograph. It was me, apparently with my arms around a couple of generic bimbos. The caption was "Two at a time! What next, Pat?"

I thought it was pretty funny. Then I read the article.

"Frank has it from reliable sources that TV political guru Pat Connolly cut quite a figure at the Banff InternationalTelevision Festival. Apparently, Pat had a bang up (pun intended) party one night, When hotel staff investigated multiple complaints of noise coming from his room, they found our Pat in the buff with two young women similarly attired. There's a rumour, which we cannot substantiate, that some illegal substances might have been involved, and, although there's no evidence that the women were underage, they were quite young and comely. Way to go, Pat!"

Even if it wasn't true, and much of it was, I thought that the CBC brass would take a very dim view of this to say the least.

When I got to my office that morning, there was a voice mail from Tony Birnbaum's secretary. Tony is now the executive vice-president of the whole CBC. At that time, he was the head of news and current affairs for CBC TV. Tony wanted me in his office in Toronto first thing the next morning. I was in deep shit. It looked like my ass was grass, and Tony was the lawnmower. I called the CBC's travel agent and got a flight booked. Then I went to see Joe.

Joe was reading the Frank article when I came into his office. He glared at me, threw the magazine down on his desk, and said, "Is any of this true?"

"Well..."

"Oh shit. I thought so." Joe held his head in his hands. Then he looked up at me. "Pat, sometimes I think you don't have a fucking brain. Other times, I'm sure of it. Can't you think with the big head instead of the little one? Try it sometime. But shit, I don't know if you'll get another chance. I wouldn't be surprised if Tony shitcanned the show after this."

"Joe, I don't think it's all that fucking bad. I'm going to see Tony tomorrow morning..."

"Christ! Tomorrow morning?"

"Yeah. I think he and I can..."

"You can't do a goddam thing. Rest assured, my friend. Tony will do everything. All the ass-kicking. Now get the fuck out of here."

I did the show, grabbed a suitcase, went to the airport and took off for Toronto. I wanted to be there promptly at 9:00, and I figured I'd be a lot fresher if I spent the night in a hotel near the CBC.

The next morning, I showed up at Tony's office. His secretary asked me to wait in the reception area. I sat down and browsed through the morning papers. As it turned out, I had plenty of time to read. It was about an hour before I was shown into Tony's office.

Tony was sitting behind his desk. He didn't get up or ask me to sit down. He just glared at me.

"Pat, you are one stupid motherfucker. I just got off the phone. Guess who I was talking to. The goddamed vice president, that's who! Do you want to know what she said?"

"Tony, I..."

"No, you don't really want to know, but I'm going to tell you anyway. Micheline wants your ass gone. But being the stupid bastard that I am, I managed to convince her that firing you would be a bad idea."

"Tony, I..."

"We could do it, you know. If you took the time to read your contract, you'd see that we can get rid of your ass any time. All we have to do is give you sufficient notice and a few months salary, and you're history. But we're not going to so that. What we're going to do is to let you take a little vacation. Barbara Fielding will take over your show for a couple of weeks until this shit blows over. Now what the fuck do you want to say?"

"Nothing, really. What will you tell people about why I'm on vacation?"