Chapter 15

I was amazed how quickly things got back to normal after the Tori episode. Or seemed to get back to normal.

One day after supper Shauna and I were working on our respective projects after supper. The phone rang. Shauna answered. It was Robin, her roommate in Toronto. They talked for a while. I continued to work. Shauna hung up the phone. There was a bit of a silence. Then Shauna spoke.

"Pat, I have to ask you something. Something that's been bothering me. And I don't want you to take this the wrong way."

"OK," I said, knowing that only the "wrong way" could follow such a declaration.

"Robin asked me if I'd seen a certain issue of Frank magazine. I haven't. But I think you know which one I mean. And I hope you'll talk to me about it."

The cat was out of the bag. Big time.

"Shauna, I know what she's talking about. I have it in my files."

I retrieved the magazine in question from the filing cabinet. Shauna looked at it. Her eyes widened when she looked at the cover, me with two bimbos and the caption, "Two at a time! What next, Pat?" Her face went pale as she read the article.

"Shauna, now that you've seen that, I think you should read this."

I handed her the retraction from Frank's lawyers. She read it and then looked at me levelly.

"Pat," she held up the magazine, "I want you, you, not the lawyers, to tell me how much of this is true."

I sighed. "More than I'd like to admit, my love. Much more. But it's not as bad as it seems."

Shauna took a deep breath. She looked at the article. She looked at me. And then she said, "How can it not be 'as bad as it seems?' You did it or you didn't. If there's truth in it, then I'm not sure that I know you, Pat. How could you do something like this?"

"Shauna, I told you before that I'd been worse than you might ever imagine. I never tried to conceal that from you. I also told you that it was in the past. It's over. It will never happen again. I want you and only you. If you won't believe me, what can I say?" Even as I said it, I realized how incredibly lame that sounded, but it was the best I could do. It just happened to be true.

Shauna sobbed. "Oh God, Pat. I want to believe you. You remember I told you about Linda Macerollo? Well, she was Joseph's wife -- his 'number one lady, ' I believe she said. I was a 'piece on the side, ' as she put it. Well, I don't want to be either the lady or the piece on the side. I've been one and don't care to be the other. Let's just end it now if that's what's in your mind."

"There won't be any 'pieces on the side' or anywhere else. You're the only woman I want or need. I'm not going to look at anyone else, much less bed them."

"OK, Pat. We'll forget about this for now. But I'm still shocked. I guess I just didn't understand -- I didn't grasp exactly what was in your past. I admit that I'm naïve. You're right. It's what you do now and from now on that really matters. I agreed to take you as you are, and I'm not going back on that. It'll just take a little getting used to. I mean, just what have people thought about me? Did they assume that I was one of these floozies? That awful man that we've seen at the Green Valley, what's his name? Jean-François something or other. The one with the funny hair. I just can't stand to have people like that thinking about me like this." She waved the magazine for emphasis. "And why in hell did you keep this thing?"

Shauna tore the magazine in half. She continued to tear the bits until it was reduced to confetti. I held up the waste bin for her to put it in. She dumped it, shook the last bits from her hands and began to cry. I put down the bin and took her in my arms.

"Lovely Shauna, I'm sorry that I didn't come to you as a virgin bridegroom. I have baggage. Lots of baggage. Many things in my past that I'm not proud of. I wish that I could undo them, but I can't. But I can promise you that I will treasure you and, as it says in the Bible, 'cleave only unto you.'"

Shauna seemed reassured, but I felt that she was a bit distant for the rest of the evening. I did get my goodnight kiss when we went to bed, but that was all.

The next morning I woke up in the middle of the mother of all wet dreams. A beautiful young girl was going down on me. I came to consciousness and found that the dream was reality. A beautiful young girl was going down on me. I restrained myself from coming. It took great effort. Shauna was the most talented oral lover I'd ever had, and I'd had many of the best. If "Joseph" had taught her to use her tongue like that, I could forgive him many of his failings. But I'd rather think that it was her natural talent. I lifted her by the hips and placed her pussy on my mouth. We proceeded to eat each other with gusto. It took a Herculean effort for me to delay my climax until she moaned and gently nipped my dick.

Then, I came. Oh God, I came. It felt as though my balls were exiting through my dick. Shauna swallowed. Then she arched her back and wailed, grinding her pudendum into my face. We both collapsed.

After a few minutes, Shauna stirred and turned around. She came into my waiting arms.

"Pat, it has to be real, doesn't it? I mean, it couldn't be this good if it's not real, could it?"

"No, my little love, it couldn't. It's real. In my terrible chequered career, I've certainly never experienced anything like our lovemaking. It's real. I love you and treasure you. I know that I don't deserve you. I don't know how I got so lucky as to find you. Believe me, I pinch myself every day when I wake up next to you."

Our lives returned to normal. Or, once again, so it seemed. Then there was yet another development.

I was sitting at my desk in the study when Shauna came in. She had a strange look on her face. "Pat, who's Adrienne," she asked.

"Adrienne?" I was honestly drawing a blank.

"Yes, Adrienne. This Adrienne. I found this note on the floor in the bedroom. Read it." Shauna handed me a sheet of paper that had been folded. I looked at it. Suddenly everything became clear.

It was a sheet of stationery from the Crowne Plaza Hotel in Toronto. On it was written, "I had a terrific time. You're great in bed :-) I'm sorry that I had to go. Call me. Adrienne. 416-544-9169."

"Shauna, that's something that happened before you and I ever became involved."

"Then how do you explain this?" She turned the sheet over. On the other side was another note, "Shauna, 1:30 tomorrow."

"Sweetheart, do you remember the day that we had lunch together? We were going to meet at 1:30, but I called you and asked if you'd rather get together for lunch. We'd just met the day before. Do you remember?"

"Yes," she said, looking pensive. "But that doesn't explain the part about being 'great in bed.' I repeat, who's Adrienne?"

"She is, or was then, the bartender at the Crowne Plaza. We had a very brief little fling. I was on the rebound from Tori, and I'd just heard that Moe was sick again. Adrienne had some hard knocks herself. We basically comforted each other."

Shauna turned white. "She's the bartender at the Crowne Plaza?"

"Yes," I said.

"Oh my God. Do you know who she is?"

"Well, I guess not. What do you mean?"

"She's Robbie's aunt! She's my roommate's aunt, for Christ's sake! Robbie baby-sits her daughter when Adrienne has to work late. You were fucking my roommate's aunt! And Robbie was probably baby-sitting Jesse while you were doing Adrienne. God!"

"Shauna, calm down. When I met Adrienne, I didn't know that you had a roommate. Well, maybe you'd mentioned it, but I barely knew who you were, much less that you had a roommate who had an aunt who was a bartender. I've only met Robin once and that was for about five minutes. Anyway, what the hell difference does it make? That's something that's in the past. It was over and done with almost before it started."

"Then why did you keep this note? Did you intend to call her? Have you called her?"

"No on both counts. I didn't realize that I had the note. I have no idea where it was or how it showed up now. I'm telling you the truth. I haven't seen or spoken to Adrienne since, and I have no intention of doing so. Think about it -- I haven't been to Toronto since you and I have been together. And I certainly haven't been sneaking down to Hogtown for afternoon delight with a bartender."

Shauna looked at me balefully. Then, in spite of herself, she smiled and began to laugh. I joined in the laughter. Once again, I held out the waste bin. Shauna tore the note in small pieces and ceremoniously placed it in the bin.

I held up the bin. "We should name this thing 'Pat's past life, '" I said.

Shauna put her arms around me. "You have to understand," she said, "this was different. I've met Adrienne. I've played with her daughter. This is somebody that I know."

"Yes, love, I do understand that. There's also the fact that Adrienne is a very fine person. And in case you're wondering, no I didn't dick her around. There were no assurances of love and fealty. It was a case, as I said, of two people comforting each other."

Once again, life chez Connolly seemed to return to it's normal state. I couldn't help but look at Shauna wondering if she were waiting for me to slip up some how. I suspected that she was suspicious of me. I desperately wanted everything to return to the way it had been before.

Our love life continued to be wonderful. In bed, Shauna was the same generous lover as ever. She seemed to be the same Shauna as before. But I couldn't help wondering. Now, I know that she was wondering about me.

One day, I was in my office when there was a knock on the door. It was Albert Smythe, our new assistant editor. "Bert," as he was known, was a "keener." I had high hopes for him. I invited him to sit and asked what I could do for him.

"Mr. Connolly, I know that I'm new here, but I feel that I'm a professional. I work very hard on my scripts, and I'm proud of my work. But you keep changing my copy."