Chapter 6

"Why are you crying, Princess?"

I thought I knew: relief and pent up emotions spilling over. They certainly weren't tears of grief.

"Oh, James... I love my parents and my mother is so understanding... but... I'm miles away from home and only ever talk to her on the phone... and it's so bloody expensive. But even so, Mum is so caught up in her dogs and life up in Scotland that when I do talk to her I can't really talk to her about what I want to. OK, it's better when I go up to Scotland but I can't afford to do that often. Now I've fallen in love and there's no-one I can talk to... and I don't know what to do."

"Princess, as I told you this morning, you are not in love with me and you will realise that. You love me. Yes! And I love you but we are not in love. To put it crudely, yes, you love me for the person I am but at the moment you are also in lust with me because I have shown you the difference between having sex and making love."

"But, I do love you!"

"OK! So, will you marry me?"

"I can't. You're already married and anyway you're much older than me."

"Ah!"

"Damn! I didn't mean that."

"But it's true, isn't it?"

"Yes... Well, I suppose so."

"So, my Princess, why not enjoy what is happening? Be aware that it is going to be full of emotion, the full roller coaster. But you should emerge with more self-confidence and be able to find a man your own age who shows consideration, kindness and, above all, love. In the meanwhile I will continue to be your lover and then, when you find your man, continue to give you love and support."

"That's asking a lot."

"Why?"

"Well... I find that difficult to accept as possible, let alone likely."

"Why?"

"I don't know... It just seems impossible."

"It isn't. You seduced me yesterday."

"I..."

" And when you fall for some guy he won't stand a chance."

"I did not seduce you yesterday!"

"Yes, you did. We could have gone on with our friendship and that would have been that. But, you appealed to my emotions and, I must admit, my lust. I had to help you out one way or another and because I found you attractive, very attractive, and thought it OK I used sex as an antidote."

"That's a foul thing to say. You're just saying that because I was miserable you took advantage of me."

"No, my Princess, but I'm making you think. I promise you that I would never have made love to you, let alone just have had sex if I hadn't thought it would do you good. I would have crushed my own feelings."

"Sorry, James! Sorry, sorry, sorry! I'm being so selfish and teenaged while you are treating me as a grown-up."

"That's OK, my Princess! Don't worry. I can become quite child-like myself even if I don't drum my heels and scream. Perhaps it's the gift of eternal youth! "

"No!" she smiled. "Not the gift of eternal youth, my darling, because there's too much wisdom there. But, you still have the most enormous sense of fun. Put those two together and your almost irresistible. You're also very, very sexually talented. So that makes you totally irresistible."

"So?"

Green eyes shining: "Sex before supper!"

"Come on then, Princess."

Picking up her bag I led her upstairs and to my bedroom.

"This is Mary's bed. I can't make love with you here."

"But Mary is going to accept you so what's the problem?"

"I can't until she tells me herself that she accepts me."

"OK! Single bed and less comfortable!"