Chapter 5

Marguerite and Bob were laughing and dancing the twist when the waiter came in the kitchen. For a full minute, he stared open mouthed at the pair amazed that on the first day of the cooking contest they were dancing fifteen minutes before he was to deliver the meal to the judges. The first three chefs had been working furiously to get everything done on time. She was dancing, the kitchen was clean, and there were two servings of lunch on the table for them. Once that classic song was over, another song came on the radio.

Working in time to the music, Marguerite went to refrigerator and removed a large pot containing Borscht. After putting the pot on the counter, she filled two tureens with the soup using a pitcher. Her choice of utensils surprised the waiter. While she carried one tureen over to one of the two rolling tables destined for the judges, Bob did the same for the other table.

The theme for this meal was a Ladies Garden Club luncheon and Marguerite had adhered to the theme very closely. She explained to the waiter how the soup was to be served to the judges. The soup was to be ladled into the bowl and the judges were to be asked if they wanted sour cream put on the top. Fresh flowers that helped the dish remain true to the luncheon scheme surrounded the bowls.

Once the Judges had satisfied themselves with the soup, the plates with the turkey wraps were to be served. She showed him how to set the turkey wrap upright supported by the cucumber stand in the center of the plate. The waiter was to insert the flower into the open end of the wrap so that it would look like a vase with a single flower. Below the wrap was a garden salad. It had black olives with small pieces of an olive inserted into it to form antennae, a slice of carrot had been trimmed to look like a caterpillar, and a radish was trimmed to look like a butterfly. To one side of the plate was a mushroom shape, with the stalk made of slices of cherry tomatoes intermixed with small slices of goat cheese. Forming the head of the mushroom, was a slice of a larger tomato, cut from one of the sides so that it was rounded on the top. Across the top of the plate were slices of bell pepper cut so that they looked like pea pods. Inserted in the bell pepper slices were small Baby Brussel Sprouts to serve as peas. Along the right side of the plate was a small pile of fruit pieces.

The dessert was homemade peach ice cream, topped with sprigs of mint and an orchid. She had struggled to come up with a desert choice, almost going with a chocolate desert with a flower motif. However, in thinking it over, she decided that everyone would do that. In her opinion, nothing proclaimed summer days like peach ice cream.

The beverage was a strawberry smoothie. She had debated between the smoothie, iced tea, and iced coffee. It was only after she considered the drinks that other Chefs would provide that she went with the smoothie. Now that the meal was done, she was quite pleased.

The waiter looked at the plates with wide eyes. As a student at the Culinary Institute, he was shocked at the quality and imagination that went into this presentation. This was his third delivery and the presentation went far beyond anything he had seen so far. Every item on the table looked and smelled delicious. He said, “This is the best presentation that I’ve seen yet.”

“Oh, thank you!” replied Marguerite. She listened to the music for a moment and then said, “Well, the song is about over and it’s time for you to deliver the meal.”

The waiter went to the door and called in the two people that were to take the tables to the judges room. As they grabbed the tables, he said, “Be careful with them.”

Ed’s morning had been a very different kind of day. He had eaten breakfast in the dining room for observers. There were thirty contestants and ten judges. At each meal ten Chefs prepared food for the judges, while the other twenty prepared meals for the observers. He didn’t know who had prepared the meal he ate, but it was good.

After breakfast, Ed took a taxi over to the New York office of the IRS. Sitting in the back of the smelly cab and watching the city go by, he felt a spiritual draining. While others might see the city as dynamic, he saw stagnation. Homeless people shuffling along the street, prostitutes were parading their bodies, drunks staggered by. The filth on the sidewalks tore at his soul. There were too many people crowded together in too small of an area.

The cab pulled up in front of the Federal Building, and Ed got out of the cab. Paying the cabby, he was astounded at how much the drive cost. Entering the building, he quickly found the IRS offices. When he showed his badge to the receptionist, her eyes got big as she said, “Special Agent Dr. Biggers, we’ve been expecting you.”

Looking down at the nameplate, he said, “Lisa, please call me Ed.”

The receptionist looked flustered and said, “Let me call Mr. Hutchinson and let him know that you’ve arrived.”

Within a few minutes, Mr. Hutchinson entered the reception area and looked around for Ed. He didn’t quite know what to expect, but it wasn’t a cowboy, complete with hat and boots. Walking over to Ed, he asked, “Dr. Biggers?”

Smiling at the uncomfortable expression on the other man’s face, Ed said, “Please call me Ed. I’m a rather casual sort of guy.”

Chad Hutchinson replied, “You can call me Chad. We were very surprised when we heard that you were coming by here. Is there anything we can do for you?”

Ed asked, “How many agents are assigned in this office?”

“Hundreds, why?”

The thought of going through an office area with the case files for a hundreds of agents made Ed sick to his stomach. He said, “Can you find a small conference room well away from their offices that I can use? I would like one agent at a time to come to the office with their case files. I can handle about six agents an hour without ill consequences. If you’ll also provide me with some pencils, I would appreciate it.”

Chad looked at Ed in puzzlement and said, “I don’t know why you are asking this, but I’ll do what you ask.”

Following Chad down a hall to a small conference room, Ed took in his surroundings. He had no idea how anyone could work here day in and day out. The conference room was not that small and Ed took a seat on the side facing the door.

It was about ten minutes before the first agent showed up with a stack of files. He set them on the table and looked at Ed. Ed quickly started moving files one at a time from the tall pile to form a pile to the right. Finally, he hit a file that brought a wave a nausea and opened it. Grabbing one of the pencils, he went down the forms marking the falsified entries. When he finished that one, he closed it and set it to the left. He went through the stack finishing the entire pile in less than five minutes.

The agent had watched, fascinated at what Ed was doing. Ed sat back and said, “Those files are either correct or the errors on them were honest errors. Don’t persecute them, just find the error and settle for the amount in error.”

The agent looked at Ed in surprise and asked, “What about the penalties?”

“Drop them for an expedient settlement. These are honest people that made a mistake,” replied Ed.

“Okay, I’ll have to clear it with the boss.”

Smiling at the agent, Ed said, “Don’t worry about him. Now this other stack is a different matter entirely. These people have purposefully lied on their tax forms. I’ve marked each line that isn’t correct with an ‘X’ so that you’ll be able to track down how they did it. Now please take these files away. I find them offensive.”

Ed sat back to relax a few minutes before the next agent came in the room. He repeated the process that he had followed with the first agent. Again it took him less than five minutes to go through all of the files. This agent just stared at Ed the entire time, not believing what he was seeing.

When he was done with that agent, Chad came into the room and asked, “What exactly are you doing? I looked over what you did on the cases that you examined and I don’t understand how you could do that so quickly.”

Ed stared at Chad, an act that brought chills to the agent. Ed replied, “I see and hear lies with complete accuracy. It’s a gift from my Gods and Goddesses. I’m using that gift to stop people that are harming others through deceit. Stealing from the American people harms us all. Harming innocents that have made honest mistakes is wrong as well. Don’t hurt the honest, have them pay what they owe and let them go.”

Voice shaking, Chad replied, “Okay.”

Winking at him, Ed said, “If you have any concerns or doubts, I suggest you call Stan Bentley in the Billings Montana office and Gary Smales in the Phoenix office. They will give you the peace of mind to sleep tonight.”

“I’ll bring in the next agent.”

Then next two hours dragged by as agent after agent filled into the office. He wondered how many of these he could tolerate in one day. Getting thirsty, he requested of the last agent to have Chad come in the room. Ed waited staring out the window behind him and slowly turned when the door to the conference room opened. A much more respectful Chad came in and sat down across from Ed. After a hesitation of a second, Chad said, “I talked to the people you told me to call. They were very informative calls.”

Changing the subject, Ed asked, “Is it possible for you to arrange someone to run some errands for me?”

Deciding that Ed was a special visitor, there was no reason his request couldn’t be satisfied. Chad said, “I’ll tell my secretary to come here.”

Ed thought about it for a moment and replied, “I wouldn’t want to disrupt your ability to do your job. Maybe there’s a temp service around from which you can get someone over here. I’ll pay the wages since they’ll be taking care of my personal needs as well. I’ll need them full time, night and day.”

Chad stood up and said, “I’ll take care of it.”

“Good. Could you also ask the next agent to bring a Coke? I’m dying of thirst here,” said Ed.

Chad went to follow up on the request. An extra five minutes passed before the next agent entered the room. He set the stack of files on the table. From the top of the pile, he removed a can of Coke and handed it to Ed. Setting the can aside, Ed pulled a single folder out of the pile and opened it. This had to be the worst of all the files that he had seen. Pencil flying over the page, he marked almost every line on every page of the file.

He threw it over to the agent and said, “Rake this person over the coals. I don’t know who they are or much they owe, but considering the amounts on each line they are robbing the American public.”

Ed found only one more file that needed his attention. He went through it in less than a second. The only two lines that caught his attention were two child deductions that were bogus. He put it on top of the other file and said, “That bottom file is really bad.”

The agent opened it and looked at the name. He looked up at Ed and said, “This is one of the richest people in Manhattan.”

Ed said, “Bring in some of his back filings and I’ll go through them. When we are done with him, he’s going to be a very changed man.”

“Why are you so angry?”

“Here is a man that has more money than he could possibly use and yet he chooses to cheat the hand that has made all that possible. That money can do so much good for people, but he chooses to pamper himself at their expense,” replied Ed.

“That’s the nature of the rich,” replied the agent.

Laughing, Ed said, “My husband is worth almost half a billion dollars ... and that’s after giving away ninety-five percent of his money to charity. He has an accountant that does his taxes and they are then checked by a team of IRS agents. Any deduction that engenders any debate is dropped. Not all rich are greedy.”

“Oh, that’s right. Your husband is John Carter,” said the agent. He couldn’t imagine someone giving away ninety-five percent of his income to charities. He asked, “How rich are you?”

Smiling at the question, Ed answered, “I’m the richest man alive. I have three wives and a husband that love me. I can’t imagine a greater wealth than that.”

The answer puzzled the agent and then he said, “I meant how much money do you have?”

Ed answered, “I really don’t know. I earned a hundred thousand last year with my consulting work. Outside of the moneys from the family that are used in the performance of my duties to the household, that’s what I live on.”

The agent left with the folder. Rather than another agent, a very large black women entered the room. She settled into a chair that protested the sudden weight. A frown grew on her face as she looked at Ed catching his raised eyebrow when the chair groaned its protest. Finally, she said, “Well, if it ain’t Howdy Dowdy.”

Chuckling, Ed said, “Not quite. I’m Ed Biggers, but you can call me Ed. I take it you are from the temporary agency.”

“Yes, I am,” replied the woman. She looked over Ed as though she smelled something bad and said, “I’m not sure that I want to work for you.”

Her words rang true and Ed sat back to examine her. In a calm voice, he asked, “And why might that be?”

“I don’t work for racists,” said the women as he looked at him. She didn’t trust cowboys, poor whites, and rich whites on general principles. She would work for rich whites, but only if the money was good.

“Neither do I,” replied Ed. He added, “Nor do I allow racists to work for me.”

That got a reaction out of the woman. With a barely restrained anger, she leaned forward and asked, “Are you saying I’m a racist?”

Ed leaned forward so that there was barely a foot separating their heads and answered, “I follow two rules in my life. If it harm none, then do it. Protect the weak from the strong. It’s a sacred duty for me to live that way. I wonder if you can say the same.”

The woman sat back and said, “I’m one of the weak and I’ve been protecting myself from the strong my whole life. And you need to understand that I’m not too willing to trust the strong.”

Her words rang of truth, she really did see herself as one of the weak who had to protect herself from the strong. He replied, “Now that we understand each other, what is your name?”

“Shuana Johnson,” she replied.

Pulling a card from his pocket, Ed said, “Okay Shuana, take this card and call Cathy at my house. Tell her to arrange a room for you at my hotel, and to get a food ticket for you. Next, I want you to buy an iced tea maker, a bag of ice, tea bags, and cooler for the ice. Finally, I want you to arrange a private limousine for the next six days starting this afternoon.”