Chapter 21

Tuesdays and Thursdays were long days for Ed. Those were the days he worked from eight to six and then went to school from seven to nine. It was usually nearly ten before he arrived home. Thursdays were always the worst. This evening had been particularly tough since he had a major test in his geology class. The test material hadn’t been difficult, but Ed strove for excellence and didn’t want to settle for less than a perfect score.

Coming home, Ed drove carefully fighting to stay awake. He was half tempted to pull over and take a nap, but his hunger drove him on to the house. John was supposed to return today. To welcome him back, Beth and Kelly had taken the evening off from work. This had the added benefit that he wouldn’t have a problem getting dinner. The past few Thursdays had been rough. Two weeks prior, he had the run in with Jim.

Entering the house, he was disappointed to find it empty. Tired from a long day, all he wanted to do was to eat before going to bed. Spotting the note that lay on the table by the door, he realized that his night wasn’t going to be that simple. He picked it up and read it aloud, “Ed, we have gone to Maria’s for dinner. Come there when you get home. Love Kelly.”

Ed didn’t want to go there, but he knew if he was going to get anything to eat that he must show up there. With a sigh, he dropped his books on the desk that Shirley had bought him as a back to school present. He had been overwhelmed by her generosity and valued the desk more than anything else in the house.

He went in the bathroom and looked at all of the feminine bath products cluttering every inch of the available shelf space. The disarray, all of it recent, told him that Kelly was going to spend the night tonight. Washing his face in the hope that it would help him stay awake, he considered his reflection in the mirror. His reflection looked two years older every Thursday night. He went to the door and stepped out of the house. Closing the door behind him, he set off down the street to Maria’s restaurant.

Entering the restaurant, Ed stopped and looked around for his group. Sherry spotted Ed before he had a chance to spot her. She leaned to Jim and said, “Oh, God. Ed is here.”

Jim answered, “Just remember what John said about Ed. He’s changed and for the better.”

The events of two weeks ago had been explained to them by Maria. The fact that Ed had left rather than create a scene had suggested that he had changed, but Sherry wasn’t about to believe it. It was one thing to talk about Ed when he was a thousand miles away, but a completely different thing to be faced with him up close. Sherry whispered, “Another dinner out ruined.”

Still looking for his party, Ed saw Jim and Sherry sitting at a corner table. His stomach clenched at the memories of what he had done to her in the past. He swore to himself, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to enjoy his meal now.

The time had come for him to address his guilt directly. It was best to do it in a public place where everyone could hear what he had to say. Walking to their table, he stopped a few paces away and then said, “Jim, I know that you have threatened to kill me if I should ever speak to your wife again. I hope that you will make an exception for me this one time.”

He stepped back from the table. His stomach churned, twisted to the point where he felt like throwing up. In a voice loud enough for everyone in the restaurant to hear him he said, “Sherry, I have treated you horribly in the past and I’m sorry. I was jealous of you and the relationship that you have with Jim. I will admit that I only saw you as a fat woman with no special qualities. I wondered how someone that looked like you could find a husband as handsome and successful as Jim while I was living an empty life. I see now that you are a woman of great quality, a woman that knows what it means to love. Jim is the one that should be envied for having found you.”

As tears started to trickle down his cheeks, Ed swallowed and his voice quavered as he said, “I had thought that I was handsome and dashing. I see now that I was shallow and mean spirited. I look in the mirror and see the ugliness that was within me.”

Making sure that all could hear him, he raised his voice as he said, “You are, and remain, a better person than I. I don’t ask for your forgiveness, as what I have done is unforgivable. No one deserves to be treated the way that I have behaved towards you over the years. I am truly sorry.”

Jim watched as Ed turned to face him. Jim could see there were tears running down the Ed’s cheeks. He hardly heard Ed say, “I thank you for the opportunity to speak my piece.”

Sherry broke out in tears. Never in a million years had she expected that Ed would make such a statement to her. It was unbelievable that he would make that statement in public. She wept as Ed turned and went to the table where John, Beth, and Kelly were seated. The other patrons in the restaurant talked quietly among themselves about what Ed had said. One might have thought the world was ending by the shock that his statement had on everyone there.

John shook Ed’s hand when he sat down. “Ed, that was an amazingly courageous thing you have done.”

Ed started shaking as an urge to run away swept over him. There was no way he could stay here and eat. The evening, starting bad, had turned even worse. He mumbled, “Would you mind getting me an order to go? I would like to return home now.”

Beth looked to John who shook his head. She made her suggestion anyway, saying, “Ed, I’ll come with you.”

Ed shook his head and said, “No, I need to be alone for a while.”

Standing up, he left the restaurant feeling like a defeated man. Rover followed him out. Rather than heading home, Ed went to John’s house and sat in the backyard looking at the desert. Rover lay down beside him. Appreciating the nonjudgmental company, Ed petted Rover for a minute.

Sitting there, he wondered in hindsight how he could have been so mean in the past. It was as though the hurt of each insult that he had ever hurled at Sherry had rebounded upon him. He started to cry, as the true horror of the damage he had done in the past became clear. This wasn’t the kind of sobbing that one might see at a funeral with wracking heaving sobs. This was a simple shedding of tears as he sat there looking out into space recognizing the smallness of his existence in the grand scheme of things.

In time he quieted down and relaxed under the stars. He didn’t know if his apology had done any good, but he did feel better about himself. Perhaps in the process of saying he was sorry, he had lost some of the meanness that had remained within himself. He looked down at Rover and said, “Well, I’m still tired and hungry.”

The cat looked over at him. The look on the cat’s face seemed to say that it wasn’t his fault that Ed was tired or hungry. Ed had his chance to eat and passed it up. If he was really that tired, he should shut his eyes and sleep. Life was simple for the cat. He had never learned to tell time.

As though he understood what the cat was thinking, Ed turned to look back at the desert. The moon was out and it lit the desert with that dull glow that allowed one to see, but not make out all of the details of what he saw. On nights like that, it was easy to mistake a cactus for a man or a stick for a snake.

John stepped around the corner with a covered plate full of tacos. It was the best food to eat cold that they served the restaurant. He had known that Ed was coming here and had told the two women to go to Ed’s. Handing the plate of tacos to Ed, he pulled up a chair as he asked, “Do you feel better now?”

“I guess.”

John smiled and then suggested, “Good. Now eat.”

Ed removed the foil off the plate and spotted the taco’s. He smiled as he said, “Some tea would go great with this.”

John looked surprised at the revelation. He said, “Oh, I thought you had some tea here. Let me get some for you.”

John went in the house and got two glasses of iced tea. He brought the pitcher out to the patio with him. He set the pitcher on the cinder block and handed one of the glasses to Ed. John smiled and said, “I wanted to thank you. Nobody in town is talking about John Carter’s fusion battery anymore. Everyone is talking about Ed Bigger’s public apology to Sherry.”

That John had invented a fusion reactor had not been lost on Ed. The whole school was full of talk about that. Several times, he had been tempted to say that he was going to marry John, but held off. Ed laughed and said, “It wasn’t my intention to take the spotlight off you. I can promise you that.”

John nodded as he understood. He said, “It was a very nice thing you did. It meant so much to her. The fact that it was public made it mean even more.”

Ed shrugged off any praise. His apology was something that was long overdue. He replied, “All of my mean comments to her were in public, the least I could do was apologize in public. She must really hate me for the things I have done.”

John shrugged and said, “I don’t know. I do know that you made the first peace offer. You would be surprised at the effect that your words may have on her.”

Ed slowly ate a taco, lost in his thoughts. He wondered how he could ever make it up to Sherry for his past treatment of her. The apology, heartfelt as it was, still seemed to be too little for the harm that he had done. While John was a going to be a rich man, his future wasn’t that bright. He couldn’t set up a charity for her like John. All he could do from now on was treat her with respect and defend her when others didn’t.

There was only one taco left on the plate. His appetite satisfied, he looked up at John and said, “I will stop by Jim’s office in Phoenix tomorrow before class to ask him about drawing up a contract for our group marriage.”

John thought about telling Ed about the discussions in Austin, but decided that Ed may have a better reason to go there than just asking for his legal advice. He decided to broach the subject that had motivated them to eat out. With the smallest hint of pride, John said, “I became a millionaire today. Jim handled six leases on the patents for us. For twenty-five million dollars each, six corporations can use our patent with non-exclusive rights. He has close to forty other requests to handle.”

Ed smiled at the news. Feeling real pride in John’s accomplishment, he said, “Congratulations.”

John laughed and said, “Well, you better tell Jim to get a move on setting up the legal structure for our group marriage. I want us to be able to share that money since I don’t have anything to do with it.”

Ed shrugged his shoulders denying the idea of taking any of John’s money. He said, “I don’t need any money. I’m happy the way I am.”

“How about money so that you can attend school full time?”

Ed laughed at the suggestion. He answered, “I have enough money to go full time. I inherited the house, the truck, and insurance money from my parents when they passed away. My only expenses have been food, drink, utilities, and clothes. I’ve got enough money set aside to last a couple of years.”

John shook his head in amazement. He asked, “So why aren’t you going to school full time?”

“I think that a person should work.”

John understood the ethic, but that didn’t explain why he wasn’t pursuing his goal more directly. He asked, “So why aren’t you working at the school?”

Ed looked puzzled at the suggestion. He asked, “What do you mean?”

John answered, “You can get a student assistant job at the school. It will pay your tuition plus a little. If you feel that you have to work, why not work there. Shouldn’t impact your savings too much.”

Ed looked shocked at the idea that he could already be making money by going to school and studying what he wanted. He asked, “I can do that?”

“Sure. You have a 4.0 GPA. You shouldn’t have a problem getting a position.”

Ed looked thoughtful. He asked, “What kind of work could I get there?”

John answered, “Maybe a job classifying rocks. You’ll never know until you ask.”

Ed laughed at the suggestion that he could actually get paid to look at rocks. He answered, “By the Gods and Goddesses, I’ll do it! That would beat pushing cattle around from the back of a horse.”

John laughed and teased, “You’re starting to talk like me.”

Now that he had several things to do, Ed got serious. He said, “I’ll take tomorrow off and stop by Jim’s office. Then I’ll go into the school and find out what I need to do.”

John didn’t want to bring it up, but he did it anyway. “So what are you going to tell Jim?”

“I will ask him to do this for you rather than for me. The fact of the matter is that I’ve really screwed up there. She’s never going to forgive me.”

A male voice came out of the dark around the corner. “You might be surprised, Ed.”

The only who wasn’t surprised was Rover who had been watching the man for the past minute. Ed turned so quickly that he almost twisted his back, “Who is it?”

“Jim.”

Ed stood up to face Jim. Resigned to accept his fate, Ed said, “Go ahead and do what you want. I won’t fight you.”

Jim laughed at the suggestion. He said, “I just wanted to thank you for what you said to Sherry. Never in a million years did either of us think that you would do what you did tonight. She was genuinely touched.”

Ed answered, “It was nothing compared to the damage that I’ve done a thousand times in the past.”

Jim shook his head and said, “I wouldn’t say that. You said several important things tonight. Things that she needed to hear from someone besides me.”

Ed said, “If you ever need something, let me know and I will take care of it. I owe you both too much.”

Jim looked uncomfortable and said, “Well, I had better get back. I wanted to say thank you for what you did. We will be over tomorrow night to talk about the contracts for the group marriage. Jack is flying in tomorrow afternoon.”

Ed looked puzzled and asked, “Did John already ask you about the group marriage?”

Jim nodded and answered, “Yes, he did.”

“Oh, I was going to stop by your office to ask you about that.”

Jim replied, “Don’t worry, We’ll see you tomorrow night. I need to get back to Sherry now.”

Jim stepped away even as he had spoken. Ed didn’t have a chance to respond with even a good bye. He turned to look at John and asked, “What just happened?”

“What do you think?”

Ed, still standing, looked off into the distance. He shrugged and answered, “I don’t know. I think I’m going to go home now.”

The next morning, Ed left the house early and went straight to the school. The secretary was not in the office that early, so he went to breakfast at the student center. The breakfast wasn’t as good as in town and it cost a little more, but it was a nice change to eat on campus watching the other students. After breakfast he went to class, relaxed for a change.